I'm driving myself crazy !!!!

[Live And Learn]

Upcoming ER is becoming "too real" and I'm driving myself crazy with worry.


Quick facts:

• Clearing out the "big house" and doing some minor repairs before listing for sale; have already purchased smaller home.
• RIF is approved but notice not yet recieved; theoretically I can get my notice at any time and would be unemployed 2 months later. 1 year severance.
• FIDO gives me 90% chance of portfolio lasting to 91 (95% to 85) with current (market high) portfolio
• Firecalc gives me 100% success using 92% of my current market high portfolio
• Budget is conservative at 91k which includes 30k for healthcare costs, 4k for travel, and 2k for "buying stuff" annually.

Dilemma:

• I have an opportunity to stay with megacorp and w*rk from home at my current salary. I could probably stick it out another two years doing this. Would be equivalent to 3 years salary if I count bonuses.
• Would give up severance and would give up access to megacorp unsubsidized healthcare. DH and I both have pre-existing conditions, so if Obamacare is repealed access to megacorp HI is important.
• I am a worry wart, so I am leaning towards sticking it out 2 more years. I figure at worst I'm ER'd at age 52 and I have $175k extra to spend later on.
• OTOH while the BS bucket has been fairly light lately it can get very heavy again soon. I break even dollarwise vs Severance after about 9 months, so I always have the "I quit" option, but I'd give up unemployment and potential HI access.

OMY syndrome says that I'm not really comfortable until I get the success rates above using only 85% of my portfolio. I know thats double dipping, but I worry about kicking myself in the butt as soon as the market pulls back.

I've been killing myself over this all weekend and am seriously considering the telecommute gig. I would have 10 extra hours of "me time" a week by giving up the commute. Or, I could view it as losing 50 hours of "me time" vs ER !

I need to be saved from myself !!!

 

[REWahoo]

Sorry, I've got nothing for you. Your OMY demons are self-inflicted and entirely yours to tame.

 

[Meadbh]

Sorry, I've got nothing for you. Your OMY demons are self-inflicted and entirely yours to tame.

+1

Sorry!

 

[BigE]

Sorry about the angst of this big decision. Not yet ER'd so I don't really have much to add re. the OMY. As far as your finances, I think having your S.O. continue to work part time and lowering your budgeted costs for healthcare (30k seems high to me for two persons) are two aspects to consider. I would also wait until the bigger home is sold to pull the cord. You might consider at least trying the work from home idea (what do you have to lose?). Good luck with the decision.

 

[Live And Learn]

Sorry about the angst of this big decision. Not yet ER'd so I don't really have much to add re. the OMY. As far as your finances, I think having your S.O. continue to work part time and lowering your budgeted costs for healthcare (30k seems high to me for two persons) are two aspects to consider. I would also wait until the bigger home is sold to pull the cord. You might consider at least trying the work from home idea (what do you have to lose?). Good luck with the decision.

I current do get HI through DH, so the 30k is overstated at least for the next couple of years.

What scares me most is the 3.4% WR. But that has crept up from 3.2% over the past couple of months, because of my worry-wartedness

 

[Live And Learn]

Sorry, I've got nothing for you. Your OMY demons are self-inflicted and entirely yours to tame.

Yep - I hear that !!! They've just made it so tempting to stay on and 52 is still a very ER.

 

[REWahoo]

I think maybe you should just keep on working as you will likely never be comfortable trying to survive living on your nest egg. Eventually you'll be forced to retire either by your employer or your failing health and will have to face your fears at that point, but no reason to torture yourself until forced to do so.

 

[Aiming_4_55]

Live and Learn - hang in there, worrying is normal, go have a bloody mary ;-) I have not ER'd but thinking about options weekly.

Is it possible for you to take the RIF and find contract or part time work somewhere else? Depending on your field, you may have options more than others. The part time income can help smooth things over until you get more comfortable with things.

 

[Ronstar]

I'd take the work from home gig for a while as a transition to ER. I'm doing one full day at the office and 4 - 3 hr days a week at home and its going well.

I noticed that the more I work from home, or with the less hrs I work, I feel more and more like pulling the plug totally. You'll probably find that the more "me" time you get, the more that you're going to want to retire.

 

[walkinwood]

You have a lot of factors to consider and the worry is rational.

Have you tried using a decision matrix? I've found that in the end, I make a gut decision, but the matrix really helps clarify the relative importance of each factor.

Tough decision, but look at the bright side. This is a good problem to have.
All the best.

 

[eytonxav]

Have you considered the new smaller home and associated expenses on your budget and will you be able to pocket any $s on the sale of the larger house. We are going through that downsizing step right now, and agree that just the decluttering and fixing up the house for sale is pretty overwhelming. Maybe that is contributing to your anxiety.

 

[justlikebike]

You have choices

I think you have more choices than you think. What is the possibility of working part time from home? What about half time? What about 3/4 time the first year and 1/2 time the second year? This may also help you get used to retirement. They want you to stay, this means you are in control. Dictate the terms that work best for you.

 

[Mulligan]

Yep - I hear that !!! They've just made it so tempting to stay on and 52 is still a very ER.

Live, I have followed your posts over the months and yes, you plan and worry. Trouble is planners always plan, and worriers always worry. Just think how bad the worrying will get when you are retired and have all day 24-7 to do it. No shame in delaying ER if you want to work. I continued on in a different PT job for 3 years until I my irrational fears of not having enough money were vanquished.

 

[bob boag]

I love not working; it's the best.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I think you want to continue working, otherwise you wouldn't be secondguessing yourself. So just continue working until you find yourself no longer secondguessing a decision to stop working. Then you'll know for sure.

 

[W2R]

If I was in your situation I'd probably work from home, but with the idea that if they started making life difficult (like making me go in one day a week) I would quit!

Bear in mind that I never had the opportunity to work 100% from home like that, and so I may be seeing that opportunity through rose colored glasses. I love the idea of zero commute and working barefoot in pajamas.

 

[gardenfun]

I think maybe you should just keep on working as you will likely never be comfortable trying to survive living on your nest egg. Eventually you'll be forced to retire either by your employer or your failing health and will have to face your fears at that point, but no reason to torture yourself until forced to do so.

I agree. I've been on the forum reading your posts for a few months. I'm beginning to believe you really won't be happy in early retirement because of your money worries. Might as well keep on working. But I think what's important is to make a decision and stick with it. All this agonizing pre-decision is what's driving you crazy.

BTW, I thought you HAD made a decision to join the class of 2013?

 

[RockyMtn]

take the severance and access to healthcare. If ObamaCare craps out you are covered through megacorp. If you are still haunted after a few years get another job.

Getting paid not to work is one beautiful thing!

 

[Katsmeow]

My recollection was that you had set up your portfolio by leaving out certain amounts that are set aside for certain contingencies and that you are very conservative in counting your budget.

I also would not like giving up the unsubsidized healthcare by working for the extra years.

That said, yes, having another $175k extra to spend later on is nice. The thing to think about is that working more will almost always give you more to spend later on. I went to semi-retirement 3 years ago and it did make things easier. However, as I now think about fully retiring, there is always that voice in the back of my head that if I continue working (now very part-time) for another X months that I will Y amount more to spend later. And -- that is how I've ended up working 3 extra years when I really originally thought it would be a much shorter period of time.

No matter when I think about finally retiring, it will always be the case that if I work a little more I will have more later to spend.

the thing that is important is to decide when I have enough. If I have enough, then the balance switches to favor retiring fully.

Deciding to work longer is not cost free. That is, every extra day you work is less time that you aren't working.

Obviously only you can determine if you have enough or not.

 

[ivinsfan]

As a dedicated worrier myself, I understand what you are feeling. Thread like this are a big help to me because then I see that I am not alone.
I've also noticed that a choice like yours where is not one "right" answer are the most difficult. I also throw in too many "what-ifs". It muddies up the water so much it's hard to think things through.
Have you consider finding someone to talk about why you worry so much, if you have a little more clarity about why you are so fretful it might help you. I've read lots of how to stop worrying books and none of them seem to work for me. Good Luck

 

[Live And Learn]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I feel like flipping a coin ! If I did leave Megacorp I would look for a PT job or contract work but I'd make about 10% a year of what I make today. It would help me keep my skills fresh and since it would probably cover the one expense I haven't budgeted or set up a contingency for it might keep me from freaking out.

Why do I worry so much ? DD of a worrier who is the DD of a worrier ! I've been to therapy, read the books .... still worry.

BTW - telecommuting is lovely. I did it for 5 years. I was able to sleep an extra 30 minutes every day plus read a book for 30 minutes with my coffee every morning. And I took a bike ride around the neighborhood almost every night between work and dinner. Loved it. Best of all, when I had to work a late night I was already home when the PC went off at 10pm.

 

[NanoSour]

You simply need to believe in yourself. I ER on 1 July and certainly have demons in the head from time to time. But more importantly, I look at ER as a challenge which I'm ready to take on. What is the worst that can happen? I go get a job.

It's cliche, but RELEASE THE FEAR!

 

[Live And Learn]

Where is ObGyn65 telling me if FIREcalc says I am good to go then I am good to go ?

 

[REWahoo]

Where is ObGyn65 telling me if FIREcalc says I am good to go then I am good to go ?

In South America up to his elbows in his work?

 

[Meadbh]

Sounds like you are not psychologically ready. Perhaps you need to rethink this and come up with goals that will allow you to retire without this degree of anxiety.