High cost of Weddings
- Thread starter Taxman59
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ivinsfan
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I don't know how I would feel...sad for the couple, hoodwinked or maybe PO'd if I saw this coming and spent all that money away?
Is there a reason you are asking?
GalaxyBoy
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I’ve often thought there was an inverse correlation between the cost of a wedding and the length of the marriage.
Bestwifeever
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Was this your SO’s son’s wedding? Depressing.
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
It was my SO's son wedding but her Mother was the one who paid the most even though they were both 36 . We all thought the bride was a little over the top but this is crazy .
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
No trailers involved .It was a beach front wedding in Longboat Key Florida .
Oh wow, how sad.
MatatuPuncher
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Sorry, no disrespect; I was PUI. Post deleted.
I would feel stung. And sad for my son or daughter who had to go through that. I hope that a year from now your SOs son can look back and be glad it ended sooner rather than later. Expensive and painful life lesson.
Tacky question......after only 3 months do the former bride and groom keep the gifts/cash they received or give it all back?
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My observation has been similar.
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
Apparently they get to keep them .We kind of saw this coming not so soon but eventually .
OP
OP
Taxman59
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Happened to a neighbor of ours. Way over the top on the wedding and the father was living on his military pension. Marriage was over before the last bills arrived! the Bride remarried a few years later in a nice civil ceremony and that was almost 22 years ago, so the "cheap" wedding lasted and the expensive wedding ended almost before it started (several neighbors wondered if she was pregnant and that was the reason for the marriage, and when she wasn't, he left! Purely speculation though)
Z3Dreamer
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
This is a frequent topic on this site and a frequent topic in my world. I cannot understand why one would get married only to get divorced a few months/year later. Did you not know what you were getting into? Did you not know the person before you said "I do." Were you in it just for the wedding day/honeymoon trip?
Has anyone discussed these quick failure marriages with any who have been through it?
Has anyone discussed these quick failure marriages with any who have been through it?
truenorth418
Full time employment: Posting here.
I'd feel very, very foolish.
I would feel foolish for providing the money in the first place - since it is very common for marriages to end in divorce eventually - and given the short duration of this marriage I would expect the couple to return the money to me as well as return all gifts and extend a written apology to all guests for wasting their time and money.
truenorth418
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I wonder if a better model for these weddings is for the couple to go to the courthouse and sign the papers.. and then skip the actual wedding part until at least the 10 year anniversary. in other words, don't celebrate anything until you can demonstrate at least 10 years of relative happiness and success in the marriage.
I think we all know that with a ten year delay like this a lot of these weddings would never take place because the marriages wouldn't last that long.
I have spent far too much time and money to attend weddings where the marriages ended up in divorces. And of course not once did the couple apologize or in any way acknowledge the sacrifices their friends and family made to attend these weddings which in the end were nothing more than broken vows and promises.
I think in this case a 3 month marriage the couple should be ashamed of themselves if they do not formally apologize to the guests and return all the gifts.
I think we all know that with a ten year delay like this a lot of these weddings would never take place because the marriages wouldn't last that long.
I have spent far too much time and money to attend weddings where the marriages ended up in divorces. And of course not once did the couple apologize or in any way acknowledge the sacrifices their friends and family made to attend these weddings which in the end were nothing more than broken vows and promises.
I think in this case a 3 month marriage the couple should be ashamed of themselves if they do not formally apologize to the guests and return all the gifts.
97guns
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My mom’s friend has a son that married for 4 months and divorced, they were in their late 20’s and had only dated for a year or so, they were a total mismatch, he is around 5’5” and stalky and she was 6 foot or more and thin as a rail, he had a decent job and was super happy the few times I saw them together. Now he’s a total wreck, unhappy, I think dabbling in drugs and hasn’t worked in 5 or 6 years, his life was turned upside down. I don’t know the cause of separation but I think things changed when they started living together
athena53
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And yet, last time I checked, marriages in which the couple lived together first didn't have a lower divorce rate. Two possibilities that I can see: one is that they're focused more on Their Big Day than what's ahead, and the other is that sometimes partners have unrealistic expectations of how marriage will magically change some aspects of the other that they don't like.
pb4uski
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Actually, living together before marriage has a higher divorce rate.... presumably some couples "slip" into getting married after living together... path of least resistance kind of thing.
Lukeee
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Wow indeed. When I got engaged, the initial discussion evolved to whether we should have a small wedding to save costs as we didn’t want to burden the parents knowing they would feel obligated to help pay. Then the discussion with my parents evolved to mum suggesting that if we decided to have an immediate family only dinner and small ceremony that she would put 1/2 the money she expected into a home downpayment.
The only thing I would have done differently was not waiting 10 years to do a honeymoon.
With no buns in the oven, the family gossip didn’t last as to why we had a quiet wedding.
The only thing I would have done differently was not waiting 10 years to do a honeymoon.
With no buns in the oven, the family gossip didn’t last as to why we had a quiet wedding.
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
They started dating late summer 2016 and they were talking marriage by fall 2016 . She basically wanted to get married . I am not sure she cared to who as long as he was a professional .On his part all his friends were married and she pursued him like crazy . From day one it was all about the wedding not the relationship .
Bestwifeever
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Wow. Better sooner than later to split up, regardless of the wedding. It sounds like her mom gave her daughter the wedding she always wanted, so that’s checked off her list. Hope your SO’s son isn’t too upset about it.
kcowan
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Living together produces all sorts of surprises. In our case, they were all good surprises but many are not.
Mine as well, and the armchair psychologist in me has often wondered if in these cases the Bride (and maybe her family?) get so excited about the gala event that will be The Wedding Day, that it takes over the part of the brain that should be evaluating what the next 20 years might be like.
Music Lover
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I think that a good majority of people who have a low budget no frills wedding understand that the Wedding Event itself is a distant second place. All that really matters is marrying the perfect partner, not having the perfect event.
Some of the strongest and happiest marriages I know had a small low cost reception with food on paper plates in the back yard.
