List of Things Not to Annoy Our Kids

[TrophyWife]

When we are grandparents/old...

1. Feed them and pay for them and take them out to eat
2. No talking about doctors appointments or aches and pains
3. take the kids and their families on vacation and pay for everything
4. They don’t owe us anniversary parties of any kind
5. No bumper stickers on your car
6. no talking about religion or politics
7. If you are sick or injured or have to use a wheelchair temporarily, don’t go to food gatherings-just stay home and get better
8. No socks with sandals-it’s never fashionable
9. Cash for gifts-don’t try and buy presents for teenagers
10. If you must buy a gift, make it a gas card.
11. Don’t stop gifting your adult children
12. If you must a buy a gift-include the gift receipt
13. no swap meet or sale gifts
14. Bathe and shave every day
15. Make sure you have a cleaning lady
16.If your kids come to visit-offer to get them a hotel so they can have a break from you.
17. Hand them the TV remote-your hearing is compromised
18. Let your kids drive-your driving scares them
19. Ask them where they want to go eat and respect their dietary choices
20. Don’t take your shirt off at a family gathering
21. No “your gift is me taking you shopping”
22. Ask them what you should wear to special occasions get things approved
23. After age 70-you don’t get to drive other people ever

 

[splitwdw]

Are these the things that your grandparents did that bothered you or are these things that annoy your grand children?

 

[Jerry1]

Some of those do resonate.

 

[aja8888]

Please explain this one?

23. After age 70-you don’t get to drive other people ever

 

[Moemg]

I am 72 and I think 7,15,22 and 23 are crazy .15 is optional .

 

[Amethyst]

I'm surprised you aren't dictating what kind of bikini I am allowed to wear!

 

[TrophyWife]

Are these the things that your grandparents did that bothered you or are these things that annoy your grand children?

Things that have come up over the years....thinking this is what we would do differently than our parents did

 

[TrophyWife]

I'm surprised you aren't dictating what kind of bikini I am allowed to wear!

Bikinis are required....lol

 

[TrophyWife]

Please explain this one?

My parents friends turn the keys over to their adult children to drive when they are in town. The adult kids are better drivers and it makes more sense to us. My own parents are aging and their driving is getting worse. They are free to drive themselves but I'm not riding with them.

 

[steelyman]

Bikinis are required....lol

Often they can be lumped into the same category as socks with sandals. It’s the “have you thought this through?” question and can be observed by more than your kids.

 

[HFWR]

I'm surprised you aren't dictating what kind of bikini I am allowed to wear!

Useless without pics... [emoji6]

 

[Souschef]

When we are grandparents/old...

23. After age 70- you don’t get to drive other people ever

What?? I passed my flight review at age 80, and to celebrate my birthday, I flew a P-51 Mustang

 

[aja8888]

My parents friends turn the keys over to their adult children to drive when they are in town. The adult kids are better drivers and it makes more sense to us. My own parents are aging and their driving is getting worse. They are free to drive themselves but I'm not riding with them.

I see, but the sentence didn't make that clear. I'm 76 and consider myself a very good driver (still). I drove (myself) from Texas to Connecticut and back this Fall to visit family. after riding a few times with specific adult children, who have more tickets and accidents that I ever had, I'll do the driving when we are together!

 

[Calico]

What?? I passed my flight review at age 80, and to celebrate my birthday, I flew a P-51 Mustang

OP is 54 years old. Apparently she thinks 70 is "old."

 

[Just_Steve]

I have seen some stupid lists but this ones top 10.

 

[Amethyst]

Or perhaps her parents are in their 70's and are already "acting old." I won't get in the car with a young person, if their driving habits disturb me.

OP is 54 years old. Apparently she thinks 70 is "old."

 

[Amethyst]

You don't know what a bikini looks like? How funny!

Useless without pics... [emoji6]

 

[Amethyst]

Regarding socks with sandals, many people get conditions that make it harder to wear shoes of any sort without socks. Diabetic neuropathy and plain old subcutaneous fat loss come to mind. Actually whenever I see an old person dressed unfashionably, I assume it's in the service of comfort. Comfort becomes elusive with age.

 

[Mdlerth]

What's the point of being old if it isn't to annoy our kids?

I suspect nice people do most of those things anyway, whether it involves their grown children or anybody else.

However, I wonder about tip #2. My own parents were as tight-lipped as a mafiosi about their health conditions. This was a disservice to everybody.

In addition to genetic predispositions (cancers, cholesterol, kidneys, prostate, BP) which would have been helpful for us kids to know, both DM & DF began suffering physical and mental decline years before any of us knew about it. By the time we found out, a lot of damage was already done and they went from Doing Fine to Nursing Home in a blink.

The reality was that they hadn't been Doing Fine for a long time but, since they lived hundreds of miles away from any family, they were able to conceal just how badly they were managing themselves.

And #5 constitutes an overly broad brush. Every stranger on the highway actually does need to know that "Life is Better with a Beagle".

 

[Calico]

Or perhaps her parents are in their 70's and are already "acting old." I won't get in the car with a young person, if their driving habits disturb me.

+1

 

[Amethyst]

#2 can't be meant to conceal information from those who need it to help you or to make decisions. It must refer to the detailed "organ recitals" one tends to hear when people over 60 get together.
Some people are probably hoping to hear that someone else had the same health issues, and found a way to deal with them. This is a good reason to share with other old people, but not with young ones.
Some are still coming to grips with their body's decline, and are hoping for reassurance that it gets better with time. Again, young people can't help much, unless they are geriatricians.
And some are just bores, have always talked about their own affairs ad nauseam.

I suspect nice people do most of those things anyway, whether it involves their grown children or anybody else.

However, I wonder about tip #2. My own parents were as tight-lipped as a mafiosi about their health conditions. This was a disservice to everybody.

 

[Moemg]

How about a list about things adult children can avoid doing to stop aggravating their parents?

 

[O2Bfree]

I would add to the list, "Start getting rid of things you don't use anymore while you can still make decisions about what to do with them." Your kids will have enough to take care of on your passing without dealing with a big house or multiple storage units full of stuff. (My own mom is 90 and has an apartment and three storage units stuffed full, ugh!)

 

[Letj]

So how about a list of what children owe us for making sure they didn’t die before adulthood? It goes both ways. Parents are so beholden to their children these days. When did that change again?

 

[jollystomper]

I view that list as humor. I do not worry about things to not annoy the kids. The biggest thing I have learned is discernment and patience, to figure out when something is important enough to open my mouth, and when it is not.