I"ve mentioned here a few times about an older guy I met in a tavern 10 years ago.
He said: "You're 60? Enjoy it now. Even if you live to be 90 all you've got is 15 more years...18 tops before you start to slow down, don't want to do what you now like to do, lose interest in other things and so on."
THIS! YES! 2nd to "I might die tomorrow with a ton of money!!" concern, this is a VERY close 2nd! What's the point of putting off great things now, having millions at age 80, if I'm in no physical (or mental) state to even really enjoy it like I can now (or could have 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago)?!?!?
What I did is to create a budget - no, not that kind. I created a SPENDING budget! Meaning, I would force myself to spend some very small amount each month, like $10 on mp3s.
I joke with friends that i need a budget to force me to spend money... like "OH look, I haven't bought new clothes in x years and my clothing budget has built up to $6,000!" I'm honestly trying to do more of this... forcing myself to spend $$ on categories.
I am talking to myself really but, five years ago I told my siblings we have 10 good summers yet better get to doing things! They all laughed at me. Sure enough DW diagnosis of early breast cancer ruined this summer with surgeries. As a friend told me you have get things done now because when you turn 70, he said all your doing is patching yourself up. SO GET TO SPENDING MONEY!! I still have hard time doing it.
Wow, that's really hard... and stories like this are VERY helpful in motivating me to be less cheap!!!
But to me it definitely sounds like you can loosen the purse strings. Keep in mind you can always cut back again later and/or work part time as needed depending on preference later.
This is another HUGE truth I have to keep saying to myself! Even my VERY worst case, I'll still have plenty... and even then I can always cut back if needed.
The main way I can think to raise our quality of life with money is house upgrades, and we could do with some of those, but they are not exactly throw money tada problem solved. More like... first find a good contractor. You can tell the good ones because they are booked a year in advance. I haven't gotten past this step so the rest is just gloomy speculation! Find several of them and get quotes. Realize it will be 4x higher than the high end of the price range you researched, make your peace with that. Before all that, plan for what exactly to do, defer to the wife on design questions, but also she needs help deciding so spend a lot of time looking at pictures on websites. However put all plans on hold if a pandemic comes along. Once the work is done, DO NOT do what some friends of ours have done, which is get involved in multi-year legal disputes with the contractors afterwards.
Yup! I'm in the middle of deciding how much to spend on a HUGE remodel. This could be the biggest and fastest way for me to find a GREAT architect and contractor... then say, "Just make it happen!" and spend a ton of $$!
A former co-worker passed away at age 59 this past summer. I'd known him for 30 years and was familiar with his financial situation. He retired early taking a pension penalty at age 50 but had about $500,000 in savings. He also owned a paid off house worth about $300k.
He lived comfortably off his reduced pension because he had very few hobbies and no expensive tastes. He could have enjoyed some of his money but chose to let it sit there. His sister and her husband are the beneficiaries of his frugal lifestyle.
These stories speak to me. I'm always sacrificed my (and others) happiness for stockpiling... and for what? So I can die with a bunch of money and it going to my kids well after I've already ruined relationships with them from being too cheap?
I have comments about this due to experience from family and one friend. Are you Frugal or cheap? Frugal is good, cheap is not. In many cases, frugality only affects the party making the purchases, not those around them, which is why those who are viewed as cheap can sometimes rub friends and family the wrong way with their spending habits.
YES! I appreciate y'all posting this quote: "Frugal is how you treat yourself. Cheap is how you treat others"
While my frugality has helped me and my family not be as stressed... my cheapness has made my, and other's lives worse in other ways. Fortunately not as bad as my parents (they REALLY messed up with relationships by being too cheap, and died with a ton of money)... but I have a long ways to go!
FIRE-Traveler, you worry too much, keep working on it. I was like that once - for a very long time. It takes time and a lot of brutal adversity and real life experience to become enlightened.
The secret to life is to really be happy with what you have, especially if you've been knocked down on your knees, not once but multiple times. Then you're on your way.
Yup, I definitely worry too much about both not having enough, and having too much. I'd LOVE to deeply learn that what I have is "enough"!!!!
My uncle, now 92 yo who was extremely frugal all his life. He tells me that he now regrets it but even now, health failing, he will not spend money where he needs it.
Yup, my parents were like this and I worry that even with the changes I've made, I'm on a similar path!
I was fairly frugal until my sister just passed away a few months ago. She was always a saver and at age 47 leaving behind 3 children as a single mother it was probably a good thing she was so frugal and such a good businesswomen to build the nestegg she did have.
We used to always discuss business, real estate and investing when she was healthy..but as soon as she became ill enough, the conversations changed to more important life things like how my friends were coming along and how the family is doing. The past three months we didn't discuss anything to do with money, as it simply did not matter. She/we knew the end was coming and the cancer was not going to digress. She kinda taught me what is really important in life, and its not about saving every last penny and being frugal to a fault. I loosened up the strings a bit, saved a little bit less this year, and enjoyed some of the wealth we had spent years feverishly accumulating.
Thank you for sharing this! It's stories like these that REALLY help kick my ass into trying to have a different perspective... but it's very hard for me to maintain that perspective!
Yesterday I had a flat tire and pulled it off in the garage and took it to a local tire shop. They informed me they probably couldn't get to it until today. I fretted about whether I would need a new tire which would screw up my rotation and cost a few hundred dollars. When I got the news of a simple fix and no charge I was elated. Meanwhile the big jump in my investment accounts over the same number of hours meant nothing. I guess I'll always, at some level, have a poor man's mentality.
Ugh, this is totally my life! I can see my investments go up by $100k in one day, but the $50 Chili's gift certificate that expired today is taking up WAY more of my mental state and stressing me out!
Denying myself (and my family) of happiness and reduced stress because of my fears of losing control and flexibility that having lots of $$ provides!
