Coping with losing ability to do loved activities

[Scuba]

We retired almost 5 years ago and since then, I’ve stayed really healthy and active. I started hiking on nearby trails and really love it. However recently I was diagnosed with a groin injury and the doctor advised to avoid all activity until pain went away. He estimated 6-8 weeks. I followed his instructions and 10 weeks later, I still have pain, especially walking up stairs or hills, so I’m not hiking until I can get over this, if ever.

Now we are in the Caribbean and had planned to dive extensively here. Our first dive out, which was quite shallow, my ear started bothering me and now I’ve been diagnosed with middle ear barotrauma. I’ve gotten conflicting advice on whether I should dive before this completely clears up, but even if it does, I’m now concerned about booking any major SCUBA liveaboard trips because this could happen on a trip like that, which could be pretty bad.

I’m only 60 and had expected to do activities like this for decades. Other than managing body weight and staying active, how do those of you who had to give up a sport you loved cope with it? I’m getting pretty depressed about aging and finding it hard to have a positive attitude right now.

 

[Dtail]

I don't have this issue currently, but would be very upset if I had to give up Pickleball which I play 6x weekly. Not sure how I would handle it.
Try to stay positive and perhaps get another opinion about the groin. Even the pro basketball players have long recoveries from groin issues.

 

[Montecfo]

I have given up basketball and running due to joint issues, mainly the end stage osteoarthritis in my right ankle.

I walk, bike and hike. But nothing like hoops. And can't do long hikes on the ankle.

Scuba, I think you can work through these issues though it is frustrating. Growing old is not for sissies!

I do feel your pain, know you love to dive. I snorkel.

 

[wolf]

Moderation. As we age, it takes "much" longer to recover from pulled muscles, etc.

Try and find other activities, that are not as hard on the body. And when you do do

your favorite "hard" fun activities, cut down on the duration.

Good luck.

 

[pacergal]

OP--so sorry you are experiencing this. I am sure the ear issue is a very big one for you right now--you have written much about your dive trips.

I recently re-injured my knee in the process of re upping my exercise. It is taking much longer to feel better, despite all of the usual things to improve the situation.

+1 to what wolf has stated

 

[Aerides]

This is why I favor a doc who specializes in Sports Medicine for limbs/joints/muscles, etc. They tend to be more focused on getting you back to doing your thing, whereas, other docs, traditionally, the joke is something like:

You: Doc, it hurts when I do this thing
Doc: Stop doing the thing

So, for your groin I'd be looking for someone who is going to focus on getting you back and active, via PT or something, maybe even consider a personal trainer too, to learn where you can compensate , or gain/improve strength and flexibility in other areas. Working through and around an injury vs. being sedentary is what I want to hear. Of course some things that's never a good idea, but many, maybe.

Obvs the ear thing is different and a lot more sensitive, so the above won't apply so much. But when you get home I'd work to find a specialist who will focus on getting you back doing things vs. avoiding them forever just because that's the safest route. Perhaps there is some gear you can use, or your scuba forums have recommendations?

Either way, be very clear the objective is to keep doing what you love, in the safest reasonable way, if not the 100% purely safest way.

 

[ivinsfan]

As you sadly have learned it's more about not being able to do these things at the drop of a hat. Most likely both your issues will get better.


On the diving , my BIL dives and tries not to dive in the first 24-36 hours after flying. If you ears are getting pressure sensitive. ear-planes on the plane might be a benefit.


One year we missed our snowbird trip entirely because my DH's existing heart condition started worsening and between all the testing and knowing he would need a surgery in the near future we weren't comfortable being that far away from his surgeon. That was a hard winter between the cold and worrying about his heart.


I think you just need a Plan B and a dose more patience as you age.

 

[Reach]

I can empathize! Right now I've messed up my shoulder (rotator cuff?) and can't do basic things and need help with my hair and dressing, not to mention disrupted sleep with pain. I'm out of the country now, but cutting my time short to go to the US and get it addressed.

The main thing I can relate to is that, when I get injuries these days, my first thought is "oh now I've done it, it'll be that way forever now". It is a horrible feeling when it disrupts favorite activities.

This has happened to me 2 other times, so I do have proof to offer that things will heal. It just takes a LOT longer than you might expect or want it to.

One was a wrist injury that impeded my yoga practice, so I had to modify slightly and wait it out. Another was an achilles injury that turned into a painful plantar fasciitis on my foot. I did research (on both), got supportive shoes, etc. BOTH cases took over a year to go away, but they did.

With your groin injury, 10 weeks is still not a long time for recovery to occur. I'll bet that in a year from now (probably much sooner!), without re-injury this will be a distant memory!

Sorry to hear about the barotrauma. I would have said that there is still a lot to see in shallow waters, but you said that you were shallow to begin with. Even so, here in the Bahamas there is a lot to see in even 10' or so, so it could still be a way to salvage some underwater/snorkeling time on your trip?? Not sure though, if avoiding water altogether has been advised.

Good luck & commiserations.

 

[RunningBum]

For the groin pull and any other injuries like that, go to a physical therapist (might need your doctor to prescribe this) and they can work on exercises to find where and how to strengthen and improve flexibility to recover from the injury and prevent it in the future. Or you could google symptoms and try on your own, but a good therapist should be able to lock in on the area and make sure you are doing the exercises correctly. I could see planks, lunges, and other core exercises helping here. I had a recurring groin pull problem a couple years ago and got over it doing those things. I'm also a lot more careful about walking anywhere icy because that's where it started.

Can't help with the ear problem. Are you on any scuba message boards or in a scuba group where people might have dealt with this and got over it?

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I've been doing some grunt work around the place, which used to be my specialty (I'm built like a gorilla). But I fell in February and jammed up my right elbow and wrist. It's coming back, but more slowly than I expected. I admitted to DW yesterday after resting up that I'm not as young as I used to be. She said she had noticed.

 

[HadEnuff]

I don't know anything about diving, or the ear problem you describe, but I have an unfortunate abundance of experience with injuries from playing the sports I love. Pulled quadriceps from softball, severely torn right adductor (aka "groin") from a water skiing crash, rotator cuff problems in both shoulders, hamstring pulls in both legs from Pickleball, 2 ruptured discs (L3-4 and L 4-5) probably from golf, and a ruptured achilles tendon from Pickleball. I was going to give it all up, but thanks to a lot of time in PT, and a daily regimen of PT I do at home, (about an hour a day), I am golfing or pickling just about every day. I describe my current status as "in between injuries"...
I say "in between injuries" only half in jest. The fact is that if I continue to play golf and pickle at the level I currently play, I will get hurt again. Hopefully not as badly as in the past, and hopefully for a shorter duration of time off, but I'm 67 years old, and I think it just comes with the territory.
I totally agree with Aerides, get a sports doc, and a good PT office, and do as much as you can to gain strength and flexibility, and listen to your body. When mildly injured, or strained, remember another of my favorite mantras, "Rest it, don't test it".
Good luck, keep the faith, and keep moving.

 

[Scuba]

Thank you for the replies so far. I appreciate the advice and also the empathy.

I have already identified a sports medicine doctor to try on my return. I am a big believer in PT and my niece is a PT. She hasn’t examined me, but she gave me a few exercises to try and I recently started them since sitting around doing nothing was not resulting in much improvement. I felt like it was getting a little better until we got to our Airbnb. There are about 25 steep stairs from parking to our apartment, and going up them is not helping my groin at all. So, I imagine when I get home I will still have an issue to work on.

Regarding the ear, I will look for a doc that specializes in diving injuries upon my return. From reading posts on Scubaboard, most people do recover from middle ear barotrauma but the extent to which it limits future diving varies widely.

 

[ivinsfan]

Thank you for the replies so far. I appreciate the advice and also the empathy.

I have already identified a sports medicine doctor to try on my return. I am a big believer in PT and my niece is a PT. She hasn’t examined me, but she gave me a few exercises to try and I recently started them since sitting around doing nothing was not resulting in much improvement. I felt like it was getting a little better until we got to our Airbnb. There are about 25 steep stairs from parking to our apartment, and going up them is not helping my groin at all. So, I imagine when I get home I will still have an issue to work on.

Regarding the ear, I will look for a doc that specializes in diving injuries upon my return. From reading posts on Scubaboard, most people do recover from middle ear barotrauma but the extent to which it limits future diving varies widely.

Don't be too bummed about the diving my before mentioned BIL was a Navy EOD guy until he had a serious ear incident in a deep water dive.



He can still comfortably do leisure diving without ear problems..

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

My 12 mile runs in my teens turned into 6 mile runs in my 30's.
My 3-6 mile runs in my 40's and early 50's are now 3 mile run/walks at age 58.

No injuries, just taking it a bit easier. Pace wise, I began slowing around 54. Nowadays the goal is just to continue getting out there, get the 3 miles of movement in, and take it as slow as I need to. I enjoy the walking breaks.

 

[rt-texas]

Diver for many years, lived in Grand Cayman back in the 80's, and I have ear and hearing problems. I can still do dives up to 50-60' most times no issues, just have to be careful and don't push it if the pressure wont equalize. I also take 1/2 of an actifed several hours before and that seems to help. Recommended by a dive master in Australia.

 

[harllee]

DH was having trouble doing the things he loves (like hiking and golf) because of knee arthritis so 2 weeks ago he had knee replacement. I have been his caretaker and have had to take on more household duties and because of this my back is hurting so now I cannot do the things I love (like hiking and golf). At age 70 it's always something....

 

[SnowballCamper]

I've come to realize, that I need to find other activities that I can do. It is frustrating, and sometimes not easy, but at only 46, my days of long hikes are done. And yes, a good physical therapist is worth the time and money.

 

[Richard4444]

how do those of you who had to give up a sport you loved cope with it? I’m getting pretty depressed about aging and finding it hard to have a positive attitude right now.

I have read a lot of specific advice above regarding SCUBA's specific limitations; however, the question is more of a psychological one dealing with coping with loss. We all have various levels of resilience and different coping strategies, and eventually there will be activities that we enjoy doing that we will no longer be able to do. It is an individual event about how we cope with loss. If SCUBA's is temporary, then it will resolve. If it is permanent, or anyone else with permanent loss of activities of any kind, our personal coping strategies come into place.

I had to stop practicing Dentistry at age 44 due to retinal disease and subsequently was not able to drive for 17 years until my last surgery and I experienced lots of related losses and limitations along the way. For me, I reached the acceptance of my vision loss and returned to school and became a clinical social worker and continued to SCUBA dive as well as continued to do the activities that I have been able to do and practice a new profession.

It's an individual thing, and acceptance is key.

Rich

 

[mystang52]

Moderation. As we age, it takes "much" longer to recover from pulled muscles, etc.

Try and find other activities, that are not as hard on the body. And when you do do

your favorite "hard" fun activities, cut down on the duration.

Good luck.

This is why I favor a doc who specializes in Sports Medicine for limbs/joints/muscles, etc. They tend to be more focused on getting you back to doing your thing, whereas, other docs, traditionally, the joke is something like:

You: Doc, it hurts when I do this thing
Doc: Stop doing the thing

Either way, be very clear the objective is to keep doing what you love, in the safest reasonable way, if not the 100% purely safest way.

As I was counting down the couple of years 'til ER, I would dream of doing even more of my favorite activity - run Half Marathons in different states. But back issues derailed that before I ER'd. I still run, but shorter distances. I plan to sort-of resume my dream by going to states and run 10K's, which would still be a stretch for me to do.
I am a former diver. DW had to stop due to her own back issues, and I did not enjoy buddying with strangers. So now we snorkel.
And, for my back, knee, and hip injuries I went to a sports orthopedist and flat-out told him that "stop running" is not an option. I have since made various accommodations to continue my passion: run shorter distances, take walk breaks, bicycling in lieu of running one day a week, etc.
OP, you may have to take a short break to resolve that ear issue. Then, maybe - after seeing the right doctor - you can resume diving, perhaps by limiting the depth, or total time under the water. And snorkeling as an occasional alternative. Alas, many of us have to accept "new normal" but look for other outlets to enjoy, or make accommodations to continue your current passions. Good luck!

 

[Chuckanut]

I had a good friend whose philosophy on aging was to adjust and keep moving forward towards more personal growth.

When left turns on heavily trafficked streets became a problem for him, he took out a map, circled the places he frequently drove to, and figured out routes that minimized left turns without a left turn signal light. He was about a decade ahead of UPS who did the same with their delivery trucks as it was more efficient.

 

[Scuba]

I have read a lot of specific advice above regarding SCUBA's specific limitations; however, the question is more of a psychological one dealing with coping with loss. We all have various levels of resilience and different coping strategies, and eventually there will be activities that we enjoy doing that we will no longer be able to do. It is an individual event about how we cope with loss. If SCUBA's is temporary, then it will resolve. If it is permanent, or anyone else with permanent loss of activities of any kind, our personal coping strategies come into place.

I had to stop practicing Dentistry at age 44 due to retinal disease and subsequently was not able to drive for 17 years until my last surgery and I experienced lots of related losses and limitations along the way. For me, I reached the acceptance of my vision loss and returned to school and became a clinical social worker and continued to SCUBA dive as well as continued to do the activities that I have been able to do and practice a new profession.

It's an individual thing, and acceptance is key.

Rich

Yes, you are right. While I appreciate the specific advice, my question was more general. My MIL also says “acceptance is key.” It’s hard to know when to accept some part of your life that was important to you is over, vs attempt to fix the problem. I’m not emotionally ready to accept not being able to dive or hike, especially when I know there are people much older than I am who can still do these activities.

I guess all I can do is try to resolve the issues, and if I can’t, accept that. I’m already depressed just thinking that might be the outcome.

 

[ivinsfan]

Yes, you are right. While I appreciate the specific advice, my question was more general. My MIL also says “acceptance is key.” It’s hard to know when to accept some part of your life that was important to you is over, vs attempt to fix the problem. I’m not emotionally ready to accept not being able to dive or hike, especially when I know there are people much older than I am who can still do these activities.

I guess all I can do is try to resolve the issues, and if I can’t, accept that. I’m already depressed just thinking that might be the outcome.

Sometimes you just have a bad run, don't put so much pressure on yourself..it's not over till it's over.

 

[Bamaman]

We were looking forward to maintaining an active life in ER, including traveling to Europe one or two times yearly.

My wife has had 7 major surgeries in the last 3 years, including a knee replacement, shoulder reconstruction and a mid foot fusion with screws & plates 10 weeks ago.

Although she's been on pain management for 22 years, even she wasn't been prepared to spend 8 weeks in bed without walking. Foot pain gets worse for 6 months before it starts to lessen. And even a maximum load of pain meds leaves her in misery--up most nights unable to sleep.

She's just lucky I know how to handle the kitchen like a Waffle House cook. It's handling all the laundry that's hardest to handle.

We just hope the situation is temporary, and that we see improvements in the upcoming weeks. We're taking the grandkids to Vegas and the Grand Canyon when school's out, and she's got an electric travel wheelchair.

 

[O2Bfree]

My approach is to seek to understand why I love the activities I've enjoyed all these years, and realize how to bring that into daily life, regardless of what I'm doing.

 

[Bob_Walter]

You need to be thankful that's all you're dealing with. I know many people including myself having to deal with many other issues and some much bigger.