Coping with losing ability to do loved activities

For muscle type pain and injuries, I have not had much help from conventional medical doctors and physical therapists, except for one doctor and a PT he worked closely with. They were like miracle workers for me. All of the other PTs actually made me worse. If one PT doesn't fix you I would keep trying and seek out second, third or more opinions. The PTs I have seen seem to have widely varying degrees of expertise.

Beside the one helpful PT, most of the rest of my improvement came from acupressure balls and massage tools, foam rollers, posture training, trigger point therapy, moist heat packs and yoga therapy. Also some nutritional deficiencies can cause or at least contribute to tight muscles. Nutrition testing has also helped me in the past. Good luck on your health issues.
 
Bamaman said:
We were looking forward to maintaining an active life in ER, including traveling to Europe one or two times yearly.

My wife has had 7 major surgeries in the last 3 years, including a knee replacement, shoulder reconstruction and a mid foot fusion with screws & plates 10 weeks ago.

Although she's been on pain management for 22 years, even she wasn't been prepared to spend 8 weeks in bed without walking. Foot pain gets worse for 6 months before it starts to lessen. And even a maximum load of pain meds leaves her in misery--up most nights unable to sleep.

She's just lucky I know how to handle the kitchen like a Waffle House cook. It's handling all the laundry that's hardest to handle.

We just hope the situation is temporary, and that we see improvements in the upcoming weeks. We're taking the grandkids to Vegas and the Grand Canyon when school's out, and she's got an electric travel wheelchair.
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Bamaman, your poor wife! And poor you too!. While we have not gone through anything like what you have but DH had knee replacement a couple of weeks ago and the stress and extra work load is getting to me. DH seems to be doing better than I am--my back is starting to really hurt! I am going to massage therapy tomorrow. I am trying to farm out as much of the house work as possible. Regarding laundry --I have started using a laundry service that picks up the laundry at my house once a week. I am also trying to find good grocery delivery service (have not found a good one yet).
 
Bob_Walter said:
You need to be thankful that's all you're dealing with. I know many people including myself having to deal with many other issues and some much bigger.
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Sorry you are having issues. People can be thankful for their overall health but still want to deal with health issues that keep them from pursuing their passions.
 
Personally, think the key is to be amazed by what you CAN do. No matter how many things you can no longer do, there's probably a billion people in the world that would trade places with you. What helps keep things in perspective is, no matter what it is I'm doing, asking "what if this is the last time I do this". I'm in a hurry, and don't really feel like being a good citizen and rolling the shopping cart to the corral. What a perfect opportunity! I can walk. I can see. The sun is shining. I'm not in an ICU. If this is the last time I walk the cart back to the corral (and it could be), then it's going to be a good one.
 
I simply accept it as a trade-off of aging. I have never seen that having a longer life meant I would be able to do all the activities I loved in my 20s. Perhaps because growing up I was fortunate to know many older people who were very good or great athletes when younger and had to give up those activities - but were still happy.

I gave up flag/tackle football in my early 40s, softball and skiing in my 50s, and full court basketball and volleyball when I turned 60. I have enough good memories of those sports to tide me over the rest of my life. Knowing my body would not heal as fast from injuries was certainly a factor.

For the activities I currently engage in, I am under no illusion that, the longer I live, how long I may continue to do them. It might end tomorrow. So my philosophy and course of action is to keep doing these things as much as possible, do not pass on any opportunities, because it will not last forever. I might have plans to do leisurely/lazy things around the house, but if a friend calls and wants to go golfing/bowling/hiking/biking/dancing/whatever, I will change my plans to participate. As was mentioned earlier, I do not dwell on what I no longer can do, I look forward to the things I can do, and what I can add to that.
 
I can do almost everything now that I could do 20-30 years ago. Just takes a lot longer and now I feel after effects that I never felt before. Luckily I don't enjoy extremely strenuous activities as much as I used to, so it doesn't bother me that I can't do them. I'll be happy as long as I can hike, kayak, and ride my bike in moderation.
 
Jettisoned running after fighting plantar fasciitis early 60's, moved to mountain/trail biking. Haven't dived for 20 years but just got accepted to volunteer program to clean the aquariums at local science center w full face mask scuba. Was surprised they accepted me, but I've passed all the tests. I had no idea the physicals and training would be so rigorous for 10-15 ft water! But.....

I feel your pain. Not for loss of any particular loved activity, but the more generic recognition that no, this can't go on forever. Retired for 10 years I enjoy "doing stuff" and am feeling the effects more and more. About 3/4 through a major remodeling that's included crawl space plumbing and electrical, and now finishing 250 sf tiling. Ugh. About 5-6 hours is my daily limit, and it comes with groans getting off the couch or up the stairs. What's more worrying is the STUPID mistakes I've made that require re-do, I've always been subject to this but the amount is alarming. Latest was realizing that I was so engrossed in putting siding on where I rearranged a window, I placed siding right over the vent pipe for the gas logs where the vent screen goes! Fortunately I have a photo so can drill in and locate it.

All these cumulative issues are reminders of what's to come; I love Robert Earl Keen's song "The Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends." But alas, while a great set of lyrics the road ends, and the nice smooth asphalt starts getting potholed, then gravel, then mud bogging until it actually ends.

You need to work with a good doctor versed in diving; may well be your depths are reduced. The science center I volunteer at had a specific doc who did a 2 hour evaluation on me. I've learned to try to slow down and remember I'm retired and have plenty of time. Don't give up, but recognize that the years can take their toll on certain parts of you. Good luck.

And looking back at what I wrote, sorry if I give too much credit to the wearing down we seem to accumulate. The rate is highly variable. As my hat says, Life is Good.
 
May have just gotten a slap in the face that my athletic days are over. I'm 64 and was playing full court basketball and getting into pickleball. I could hang with the 50-55 year olds I was mostly playing basketball with and was way more mobile than 95% of the pickleball players even though I was a newbie. Covid shut those sports down so I decided to have my hip replaced last December. I feel great and had resumed golf and walking stairs for cardio since I can't run. But yesterday my wife and I went out to a local pickleball court to knock a ball around. Oh my! I was shocked by my lack of mobility! I moved like an 80 year old man. Some of it may have been apprehension as I'm still in the time frame where I could dislocate the hip but I just couldn't move ,especially sideways. What an eye opener. I was prepared to give up basketball but thought pickleball could take up the slack even though it's nowhere near the cardio workout. But I don't think I can stand to play like an old man. I'm thinking of concentrating on golf and give PB a try in the fall when I'll be better healed. We'll see, but as someone who was always at least a little better athletic than your average person this was down right depressing.
 
I also can do the physical work or activities I did 20 to 30 years ago. I try to take a more relaxed approach to the physical labor and keep safety and not rush to over do it. I beleive for me is to stay active and keep doing everything I can for myself, to stay in shape, and not to be afraid of getting hurt etc..
 
I gave up running years ago, but still walk at least 3.5 miles every day. Fortunately I like driving so that’s one activity I hope to be able to do for years to come yet. We started traveling again early this year and have a few longer trips planned this summer and fall. We also enjoy going out for an afternoon drive from time to time.
 
I can empathize with those who are finding they are more injury-prone as they “mature”. I went through a course of PT trying to avoid surgery for a rotator cuff tear late last year and early this year. So far, so good.

BUT, I just started a new round of PT for the craziest of reasons. I was an AARP Tax-Aide volunteer this season, doing taxes at the local Senior Center two 6 hour days per week plus 5-10 hours at home for about two months. Using the configuration we had (a lap top with the tax-prep forms on the small screen and a separate 17” screen with the taxpayers’ scanned source documents) just absolutely killed my neck and upper back. No matter how I placed the 2 devices in relation to each other, the constant head movement was more than this 75 year old - who works out regularly -could take. And I figured that all I had to worry about was not overdoing the workouts, not overdoing Form 1040s!
 
OP, Good move on finding a Physical Therapist. Good ones can work wonders.

Also, I’m a certified diver but, honestly, I get as much joy from simply snorkeling these days. The colors are better near the surface, there’s almost no gear to fool with and I can stay out as long as I want to.

Similarly, I get as much joy from super-simple Tenkara fly fishing for trout these days vs. the gadget-rich traditional fly fishing.
 
garyt said:
May have just gotten a slap in the face that my athletic days are over. I'm 64 and was playing full court basketball and getting into pickleball. I could hang with the 50-55 year olds I was mostly playing basketball with and was way more mobile than 95% of the pickleball players even though I was a newbie. Covid shut those sports down so I decided to have my hip replaced last December. I feel great and had resumed golf and walking stairs for cardio since I can't run. But yesterday my wife and I went out to a local pickleball court to knock a ball around. Oh my! I was shocked by my lack of mobility! I moved like an 80 year old man. Some of it may have been apprehension as I'm still in the time frame where I could dislocate the hip but I just couldn't move ,especially sideways. What an eye opener. I was prepared to give up basketball but thought pickleball could take up the slack even though it's nowhere near the cardio workout. But I don't think I can stand to play like an old man. I'm thinking of concentrating on golf and give PB a try in the fall when I'll be better healed. We'll see, but as someone who was always at least a little better athletic than your average person this was down right depressing.
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I can imagine how you feel.
I effectively gave up basketball at 40, since I had an ACL that year and just couldn't keep up with similar players my age. This was my passion, as I was a point guard captain in high school.
Took up golf and tennis and liked them a decent amount but not the same as bball.
Gave both of them up for pickleball and am quicker than the average player my age and can play with the 20/30 year olds who are my skill level.

Hope you can get back to Pickleball.
 
I realize there are many others who have far worse problems to deal with, and am sorry that several posters are experiencing more serious health setbacks.

My takeaway from the comments so far is that losing some abilities is a natural consequence of aging, and it helps to focus on what still can be done and to try to find enjoyable replacement activities when one can no longer pursue some passions.

Thank you all for responding and sharing your coping mechanisms.
 
I can totally empathize with this having had leg issues, knee issues, foot issues and now shoulder issues (although shoulder is from the first COVID shot where the person administering hit me too high and damaged something). Seems like a lot of things are breaking now that I'm in my late 50s, and it's seriously starting to impact my ability to do things (mountain biking, hiking, working out on Elliptical and Spin Bike) that I used to absolutely love doing.

I've had a couple of 2-4 month periods over the last several years where the knee, leg or foot issues either caused me to have to entirely stop or severely limit mountain biking, hiking and working out. That really sucked. Each issue is 'mostly' recovered, but not fully. According to my Orthopedic Dr and his XRays, my knee has a lot of 'wear and tear' from 30+ years of Elliptical and mountain biking and is only getting worse. I dread the day where he tells me it needs TKR..foot and ankle STILL give me issues after what I thought was a really minor injury about 5 years back (just stepped on an uneven piece of ground when looking at a property we were going to buy), and that affects my hiking. Then, trying to hike yesterday, my IT band keeps 'twinging' (almost like a rubber band snapping) every so often when we're out on the trails.

While I realize many have it far worse than I do and are dealing with far more severe issues, it does really get to me that I'm not able to do all the things I really wanted to spend my time doing in ER. I LOVE Mountain Biking. Had to give a lot of that up 2 years ago due to health issues, and we weren't comfortable around all the people last year with COVID so I held off on that in 2020 entirely. Also love hiking but leg, foot, etc is making that harder. Even my indoor exercise is limited with all the funky little issues with leg, foot and knee.

So, yeah..I do empathize. It can get downright depressing and I don't really have any good answer on how to deal with that other than finding other things (we enjoy walking also, just around the sub or pre-COVID, at the parks) that you can also find enjoyment in.
 
Scuba, no advice from me, but sending my admiration and respect for your thoughtful and disciplined and humble approach to dealing with these issues. Those qualities will serve you well!
 
At 64 I've been limited in activities due to Cervical Disc Degeneration Disease since 2006. Physical therapy helped me stay active for a few years, but by 2013 I had to retire. Now I'm limited severely because of another health issue that has entered my life...care of an elderly parent. It's frustrating. Enjoy what you can while you can.
 
daylatedollarshort said:
For muscle type pain and injuries, I have not had much help from conventional medical doctors and physical therapists, except for one doctor and a PT he worked closely with. They were like miracle workers for me. All of the other PTs actually made me worse. If one PT doesn't fix you I would keep trying and seek out second, third or more opinions. The PTs I have seen seem to have widely varying degrees of expertise.

Beside the one helpful PT, most of the rest of my improvement came from acupressure balls and massage tools, foam rollers, posture training, trigger point therapy, moist heat packs and yoga therapy. Also some nutritional deficiencies can cause or at least contribute to tight muscles. Nutrition testing has also helped me in the past. Good luck on your health issues.
Click to expand...



If convenient, can you start a thread on nutritional testing for tight muscles. No pressure.
 
24601NoMore said:
I can totally empathize with this having had leg issues, knee issues, foot issues and now shoulder issues (although shoulder is from the first COVID shot where the person administering hit me too high and damaged something). Seems like a lot of things are breaking now that I'm in my late 50s, and it's seriously starting to impact my ability to do things (mountain biking, hiking, working out on Elliptical and Spin Bike) that I used to absolutely love doing.

I've had a couple of 2-4 month periods over the last several years where the knee, leg or foot issues either caused me to have to entirely stop or severely limit mountain biking, hiking and working out. That really sucked. Each issue is 'mostly' recovered, but not fully. According to my Orthopedic Dr and his XRays, my knee has a lot of 'wear and tear' from 30+ years of Elliptical and mountain biking and is only getting worse. I dread the day where he tells me it needs TKR..foot and ankle STILL give me issues after what I thought was a really minor injury about 5 years back (just stepped on an uneven piece of ground when looking at a property we were going to buy), and that affects my hiking. Then, trying to hike yesterday, my IT band keeps 'twinging' (almost like a rubber band snapping) every so often when we're out on the trails.

While I realize many have it far worse than I do and are dealing with far more severe issues, it does really get to me that I'm not able to do all the things I really wanted to spend my time doing in ER. I LOVE Mountain Biking. Had to give a lot of that up 2 years ago due to health issues, and we weren't comfortable around all the people last year with COVID so I held off on that in 2020 entirely. Also love hiking but leg, foot, etc is making that harder. Even my indoor exercise is limited with all the funky little issues with leg, foot and knee.

So, yeah..I do empathize. It can get downright depressing and I don't really have any good answer on how to deal with that other than finding other things (we enjoy walking also, just around the sub or pre-COVID, at the parks) that you can also find enjoyment in.
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DH had knee replacement a couple of weeks ago at age 70. He probably put it off too long (had to delay a year due to Covid). Don't wait too long to have TKR done--the older you get the harder the recovery. Also if you have a spouse that will be your caretaker also think of them-- I would have been a much better caretaker at age 60 or 65 than I am at 70. At age 70 it is almost too much for me to do everything that DH needs to have done.
 
harllee said:
DH had knee replacement a couple of weeks ago at age 70. He probably put it off too long (had to delay a year due to Covid). Don't wait too long to have TKR done--the older you get the harder the recovery. Also if you have a spouse that will be your caretaker also think of them-- I would have been a much better caretaker at age 60 or 65 than I am at 70. At age 70 it is almost too much for me to do everything that DH needs to have done.
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Great point. Mom had TKR done in her early 70s. Was pretty rough on her..and since DW is 6 years older than me, will need to keep an eye on this for sure.

I ran pretty much every day on my Elliptical for 25+ years before my Ortho Dr told me I needed to mix things up and alternate. So, I bought a nice Spin bike (from Precor - super heavy duty like all things Precor makes) and try to alternate every other day on that vs. the elliptical. But I have a gazillion miles on my knees between those activities, mountain biking, roller blading, hiking, ... It's really a miracle they've held out this long!

Guess like OP I expected to be able to keep doing all the things I've always done well into my 60s and even 70s..not looking that way, unfortunately..
 
I am battling the same aging dilemma. I’ve had tennis elbow for over 2 months from golf, and I tweaked a knee about 2 weeks ago and it’s taking forever to mend. I was playing golf 3 times a week and walking all 18, I’ve cut back to 1-2 times a week with a riding cart. To compound the problem, I’ve stopped resistance and cardio exercise assuming it would slow recovery of the elbow and knee, but that’s a double edged sword it seems. I’m determined to beat the issues and be active/play golf for another 20 years or so - but it’s WAY harder now than the good old (younger) days. I could not imagine being permanently housebound…
 
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harllee said:
Bamaman, your poor wife! And poor you too!. While we have not gone through anything like what you have but DH had knee replacement a couple of weeks ago and the stress and extra work load is getting to me. DH seems to be doing better than I am--my back is starting to really hurt! I am going to massage therapy tomorrow. I am trying to farm out as much of the house work as possible. Regarding laundry --I have started using a laundry service that picks up the laundry at my house once a week. I am also trying to find good grocery delivery service (have not found a good one yet).
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Harlee: I don't know if your back issue is new or if it's been coming on for quite sometime. But do yourself a favor and have your primary care doctor refer you to the best neurologist in your area.

Pain is there for a reason, and you really need to know why you're hurting. I suggest trying the doctor to order a MRI or other test that gives you enough info where you can have a plan of action on dealing with the pain.

There are so many people out there that just suffer through their pains. And I've seen many that didn't face their ailments and ended up where the situation ends on being permanent. I call them He Men.

I take my wife monthly to a high quality pain clinic--and the doctor is an anesthesiologist with a fellowship in pain management. They keep about 2,000 patients out of hospitals and nursing homes--and functioning in society. But so many are younger than us and just in terrible condition. You don't want to end up being like that at your young age.

So good luck to you, and I'm sure your DH will start to quickly recover.
 
I’m dreading the day when I can no longer race mountain, cyclocross and gravel road bicycles. I’m addicted and don’t know what I’ll do when that day comes that I can no longer line up on a Saturday morning.

Barring illness or injury I figure I have another decade to figure it what comes next.
 
sengsational said:
Personally, think the key is to be amazed by what you CAN do. No matter how many things you can no longer do, there's probably a billion people in the world that would trade places with you. What helps keep things in perspective is, no matter what it is I'm doing, asking "what if this is the last time I do this". I'm in a hurry, and don't really feel like being a good citizen and rolling the shopping cart to the corral. What a perfect opportunity! I can walk. I can see. The sun is shining. I'm not in an ICU. If this is the last time I walk the cart back to the corral (and it could be), then it's going to be a good one.
Click to expand...

+1

I am getting old enough to be thankful whenever I am not in pain.

Why, just a couple of days ago, I felt some back pain, and as I was doing a home project, wondered if it could be the cause of the pain.

Then, it occurred to me that this pain could be caused by a kidney stone in the ureter. I had suffered this kind of back pain chronically in my 30s-40s, until I ended up in the ER due to passing blood that I learned it was not true back pain from the spine. I actually felt quite relieved at that time, because spinal pain would be a lot worse than kidney stones.

Anyway, the recent pain went away when I started to drink a lot of water to flush out the stones. And this recent incidence reminded me to be appreciative of life as I have it now; having no pain, and plenty of money to buy whatever I need.
 
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