Coping with losing ability to do loved activities

[harllee]

Harlee: I don't know if your back issue is new or if it's been coming on for quite sometime. But do yourself a favor and have your primary care doctor refer you to the best neurologist in your area.

Pain is there for a reason, and you really need to know why you're hurting. I suggest trying the doctor to order a MRI or other test that gives you enough info where you can have a plan of action on dealing with the pain.

There are so many people out there that just suffer through their pains. And I've seen many that didn't face their ailments and ended up where the situation ends on being permanent. I call them He Men.

I take my wife monthly to a high quality pain clinic--and the doctor is an anesthesiologist with a fellowship in pain management. They keep about 2,000 patients out of hospitals and nursing homes--and functioning in society. But so many are younger than us and just in terrible condition. You don't want to end up being like that at your young age.

So good luck to you, and I'm sure your DH will start to quickly recover.

Bama, thanks. The back issue is a new one--just started when i had to help DH out of car, into bed etc. I have an appointment with a highly recommend back specialist but the earliest appt is a month out. In the meantime I had a trigger point therapeutic massage yesterday and feel better today. Thanks for calling me young--at age 70 I guess I am younger than a lot of people!

 

[Koolau]

From 51 to 63 I participated in 3 home renos. Each new place really needed upgrading - especially to meet DW's expectations, heh, heh. I had virtually no skills, but I swung a hammer and crow bar to do demo. I dug holes for new trees and shrubs, and even concrete work. Now in mid 70s I'm sufficiently decrepit, I look for the 24 (or preferably) 12 packs of my favorite beverage rather than two 36 packs I used to carry up the stairs. It's amazing how fast age can overtake you. It's humbling. BUT, worrying about it or, even worse, feeling sorry for myself is a fools errand. I'm happy for what I have left and I hope to use it for some purpose - whatever that is.

DW and I still talk about finding a better place to live and then I launch into my "I've done my last reno" speech. She alway looks disappointed, but I know she understands. YMMV

 

[Scuba]

Scuba, no advice from me, but sending my admiration and respect for your thoughtful and disciplined and humble approach to dealing with these issues. Those qualities will serve you well!

Thank you so much! :flowers

 

[garyt]

I can imagine how you feel.
I effectively gave up basketball at 40, since I had an ACL that year and just couldn't keep up with similar players my age. This was my passion, as I was a point guard captain in high school.
Took up golf and tennis and liked them a decent amount but not the same as bball.
Gave both of them up for pickleball and am quicker than the average player my age and can play with the 20/30 year olds who are my skill level.

Hope you can get back to Pickleball.

Once a gym rat always a gym rat, lol. I originally gave up basketball at 43 or so, not for any age reason but it wasn't fun anymore. All my friends aged out and playing with "kids" who went one on one all the time and only threw a pass when it was a no looker through 4 defenders that never met it's mark got to me.
Finding the 50 and over league was heaven. Had covid not hit I would have put off the THR for a year or so to keep playing.
Golf is my current passion but pickleball was a fun diversion and some good exercise to boot. I'll still be able to play but at what level, I don't know. It just felt so weird to move that slow. Ah, Father Time

 

[Dtail]

Once a gym rat always a gym rat, lol. I originally gave up basketball at 43 or so, not for any age reason but it wasn't fun anymore. All my friends aged out and playing with "kids" who went one on one all the time and only threw a pass when it was a no looker through 4 defenders that never met it's mark got to me.
Finding the 50 and over league was heaven. Had covid not hit I would have put off the THR for a year or so to keep playing.
Golf is my current passion but pickleball was a fun diversion and some good exercise to boot. I'll still be able to play but at what level, I don't know. It just felt so weird to move that slow. Ah, Father Time

I hear you man.
However one thing to note is that I have now played Pickleball with 4 guys at some point who were all over 80 years old. Note quick movers but still had game.

 

[eytonxav]

While I've had my share of hamstring, knee, and shoulder injuries, the thing that gets me down is losing my athleticism, balance and strength as I've aged. I am now 72, and while my mind still says you can do this, the body no longer cooperates. For some reason I just cannot accept my age related limitations, which is easier said than done, at least for me.

 

[Speculator]

"Other than managing body weight and staying active, how do those of you who had to give up a sport you loved cope with it? I’m getting pretty depressed about aging and finding it hard to have a positive attitude right now."

I love skiing! Since 1973 up until December, 2020, I skied every weekend and vacation, and after I retired from my first career in 2002, I skied over 100 days each season. Then on December 9, at age 69 and while working out in the gym, I injured myself and was unable to ski the entire 2020 - 2021 season. The injury has been diagnosed by three doctors (a sports medicine orthopedist, a regular primary care physician and a cardiologist in training) all at different highly regarded teaching hospitals and, amazingly (to me, at least), each diagnosis was different. The latest dx is "piriformis syndrome." I know how you feel because everyone suggested it should be healed after a few weeks, then a few months and now it's four months later and the pain is still there. So in answer to your questions: I was getting depressed, too, and to keep it at bay, I reminded myself of all the things I loved that I could still do. I also did not give up seeking answers to what was going on, even though I sometimes thought I was being "brushed off" due to my age. I did (and continue to) research my issue, I ask my current physician (and also my physical therapist) many questions and I plan to leave no stone unturned in getting better so I can ski next season. I also don't try to think positive, simply because it isn't positive; it s**ks! But I can accept that and accept that all I can do is my best and not give up trying. I remind myself that injuries happen to the best of us and it could be much worse. So I try to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this issue of not being able to ski is small potatoes. I wish you only the best.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I had to give up hiking in the mountains when I was 50. I developed HBP and a too fast heart rate that even with medication went crazy when hiking up the mountain and I wouldn’t feel well. It’s a bummer but having lost friends young to cancer and working with people with disabilities things could be much worse.

 

[eytonxav]

The latest dx is "piriformis syndrome." I know how you feel because everyone suggested it should be healed after a few weeks, then a few months and now it's four months later and the pain is still there.

If you are on Facebook, I recommend scanning through his page. He is the best trainer I've come across for fixing many of the common issues we suffer from that are often difficult to fix. You will find specific info on piriformis exercises somewhere on his page.

https://www.facebook.com/romfitness

 

[Scuba]

"Other than managing body weight and staying active, how do those of you who had to give up a sport you loved cope with it? I’m getting pretty depressed about aging and finding it hard to have a positive attitude right now."



I love skiing! Since 1973 up until December, 2020, I skied every weekend and vacation, and after I retired from my first career in 2002, I skied over 100 days each season. Then on December 9, at age 69 and while working out in the gym, I injured myself and was unable to ski the entire 2020 - 2021 season. The injury has been diagnosed by three doctors (a sports medicine orthopedist, a regular primary care physician and a cardiologist in training) all at different highly regarded teaching hospitals and, amazingly (to me, at least), each diagnosis was different. The latest dx is "piriformis syndrome." I know how you feel because everyone suggested it should be healed after a few weeks, then a few months and now it's four months later and the pain is still there. So in answer to your questions: I was getting depressed, too, and to keep it at bay, I reminded myself of all the things I loved that I could still do. I also did not give up seeking answers to what was going on, even though I sometimes thought I was being "brushed off" due to my age. I did (and continue to) research my issue, I ask my current physician (and also my physical therapist) many questions and I plan to leave no stone unturned in getting better so I can ski next season. I also don't try to think positive, simply because it isn't positive; it s**ks! But I can accept that and accept that all I can do is my best and not give up trying. I remind myself that injuries happen to the best of us and it could be much worse. So I try to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this issue of not being able to ski is small potatoes. I wish you only the best.

Thank you. I hope you get your injury resolved and can get back on the slopes. Interestingly, when DH and I first got together, I was a skier and a diver. We decided to pick one of these two since both require expensive equipment and travel. We picked diving, thinking we’d be more likely to be able to do it for most of our lifetimes. Never expected to be sidelined at 60. Hopefully this is a temporary setback.

 

[Amethyst]

My mom used to say, "Dear God, please don't take my hands, my eyes, or my brain." Since, like me, these were the organs that mattered most to her.

As it happened, God (well, smoking actually) took her lungs instead. But the rest were starting to go. I'm glad she did not live to see that whole string as it played out on her.

 

[Time2]

Harlee: I don't know if your back issue is new or if it's been coming on for quite sometime. But do yourself a favor and have your primary care doctor refer you to the best neurologist in your area.

Pain is there for a reason, and you really need to know why you're hurting. I suggest trying the doctor to order a MRI or other test that gives you enough info where you can have a plan of action on dealing with the pain.

There are so many people out there that just suffer through their pains. And I've seen many that didn't face their ailments and ended up where the situation ends on being permanent. I call them He Men.

I take my wife monthly to a high quality pain clinic--and the doctor is an anesthesiologist with a fellowship in pain management. They keep about 2,000 patients out of hospitals and nursing homes--and functioning in society. But so many are younger than us and just in terrible condition. You don't want to end up being like that at your young age.

So good luck to you, and I'm sure your DH will start to quickly recover.

Long story short, my back pain is much better after 11 years doing two exercises.

N of one here, I herniated L4/L5 and S1/L5 11 years ago. Went through the sciatic (horrible, talk about tight muscle, and spasms) Tried PT, but I was in too much pain to do much. It got better over the years, no more sciatica, ah, some ache if I drive long distance. But I still have two types of pain, just a low back ache with no place I can point to and say right there. and then pain caused what I assume are muscle spasms, but I can not isolate the muscles, ( I suspect deep around the spine.)

So, about 6 weeks ago, I finished building a sauna with a seat long enough to lay down on. Since I'm just laying in the sauna I started doing a just two exercises while laying down, Bridging as shown in photo 12 here,https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/ss/slideshow-exercises
A Posterior Pelvic Tilt , lay flat and rolling your butt up, shown here in #3,
https://www.cawleypt.net/2017/05/25/exercises-lumbar-spinal-stenosis/
I do 100 reps of each, twice a day. I started with 25 reps 4 times, now I do 50 reps twice, and do that twice a day. It's only one person, but, as I said, 11 years, plenty of hydrocodone and pain over 11 years, and I'm now waking up and not think about how I get out of bed. I don't give the heat any credit, but I don't know, it could help.
Now, if I could just stop my shoulder from aching!

 

[Freedom56]

I would get second opinions on chronic issues as not all doctors and providers are created equal. Go to some quality providers such as USC Keck, UCLA, or Cedars-Sinai. We have been commuting to Santa Monica and West Los Angeles to see our doctors and any specialists for the past 23 years even though we have several medical centers minutes from our home. It's well worth the drive. For any orthopaedic issue the Kerlin-Jobe Institute at Cedars-Sinai is one of the finest in the country. For ear neck and throat issues UCLA has some good specialists.

 

[harllee]

Long story short, my back pain is much better after 11 years doing two exercises.

N of one here, I herniated L4/L5 and S1/L5 11 years ago. Went through the sciatic (horrible, talk about tight muscle, and spasms) Tried PT, but I was in too much pain to do much. It got better over the years, no more sciatica, ah, some ache if I drive long distance. But I still have two types of pain, just a low back ache with no place I can point to and say right there. and then pain caused what I assume are muscle spasms, but I can not isolate the muscles, ( I suspect deep around the spine.)

So, about 6 weeks ago, I finished building a sauna with a seat long enough to lay down on. Since I'm just laying in the sauna I started doing a just two exercises while laying down, Bridging as shown in photo 12 here,https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/ss/slideshow-exercises
A Posterior Pelvic Tilt , lay flat and rolling your butt up, shown here in #3,
https://www.cawleypt.net/2017/05/25/exercises-lumbar-spinal-stenosis/
I do 100 reps of each, twice a day. I started with 25 reps 4 times, now I do 50 reps twice, and do that twice a day. It's only one person, but, as I said, 11 years, plenty of hydrocodone and pain over 11 years, and I'm now waking up and not think about how I get out of bed. I don't give the heat any credit, but I don't know, it could help.
Now, if I could just stop my shoulder from aching!

Those are good exercise. I have been doing most of those for years. Plus the pilates "roll over" and yoga "child pose". All these have really helped my back over the years until recently when I have had to help my DH too much as he recovers from knee replacement. I hope my current issues are just temporary. In the meantime I continue to do these exercises and now do them all twice a day as well as getting the trigger point massage. I bet the heat of your sauna helps too.

 

[ItsAllGood]

I also recently had a groin injury. It was one of my hip flexors, and astonishing how much it hurt at times! It took 10 weeks for the pain to go away, last to leave was the pain going upstairs or up hill. I asked the doctor for a PT referral, and did 8 sessions. On the first visit, I told the PT my main goal was to return to hiking ASAP. She started with basic stretching, movement type exercises, and progressed over the weeks to hiking targeted exercises. I highly recommend doing some PT (and the homework). I'm easing back into hiking now, I figure about 4-6 weeks before I'm back to my usual trails.

 

[Calico]

My mom used to say, "Dear God, please don't take my hands, my eyes, or my brain." Since, like me, these were the organs that mattered most to her.

As it happened, God (well, smoking actually) took her lungs instead. But the rest were starting to go. I'm glad she did not live to see that whole string as it played out on her.

Your mom said it perfectly - nice and succinct! Those are the three physical things that matter the most to me too.

 

[Markola]

Personally, think the key is to be amazed by what you CAN do. No matter how many things you can no longer do, there's probably a billion people in the world that would trade places with you. What helps keep things in perspective is, no matter what it is I'm doing, asking "what if this is the last time I do this". I'm in a hurry, and don't really feel like being a good citizen and rolling the shopping cart to the corral. What a perfect opportunity! I can walk. I can see. The sun is shining. I'm not in an ICU. If this is the last time I walk the cart back to the corral (and it could be), then it's going to be a good one.

Excellent advice.

 

[socca]

... Guess like OP I expected to be able to keep doing all the things I've always done well into my 60s and even 70s..not looking that way, unfortunately.

I would love to know where my body falls on the health spectrum for aging American males. How many late-50's men take zero medications and have zero chronic health issues?

How do I deal with a body that is (very) slowly falling apart? Fortunately, I can still do the stuff I've always done, but at a lower level. No more mountains - foothills or flatlands are fine. No more running - walking is fine. My new at-home pandemic workout has actually increased core and upper-body strength and overall flexibility vs. my days at the gym. Summary: respect my new limitations, and carry on!

 

[foxfirev5]

Yesterday I was digging a drainage ditch and prepping a seed bed for DS. After about 2.5 hours I could feel my lower back tightening up. From past experience I knew if I kept going it would not be a pleasant 2 hr drive home.

The limitations are setting in. Last Spring DW and I put in a stone driveway which took a couple of days. Twenty years ago we did the same job in a day.

Manual labor at 65 isn't as much fun anymore. I think I'll focus on long walks and light weightlifting.

 

[tmm99]

It's true, we should focus on what we CAN do, but my baseline is my past performances. I should compare myself with people my age.

It's hard not to be depressed about the whole aging thing though...

 

[razztazz]

Here's bright spot to the whole thing. This week I'm having my deck repaired and painted and having some huge patio stones replaced. They sent some guy out to have a look and take some pics to give me an estimate. While we were talking about it I mentioned that I was supposed to do it myself last Summer but had a heart attack so I couldn't get to it. I got a 20% discount.

 

[friar1610]

. I think I'll focus on long walks and light weightlifting.

While doing the homework assignments for my PT sessions (details of my current malady in Post 36 above, this thread) I’ve had time to ponder some of this. I may finally be at the point in my life (just turned 76 on Sunday) that I’m finally ready to admit it’s time to throttle back on exercise/physical activity. Maybe it’s not so bad just to walk instead of spin or row. Maybe it’s time to concentrate more on exercises that will primarily prevent aches and pains rather than pushing the old bod too hard. Maybe doing a workout that has the word “Senior” in its name isn’t the end of the world.

 

[RunningBum]

I would love to know where my body falls on the health spectrum for aging American males. How many late-50's men take zero medications and have zero chronic health issues?

Yeah, things like that went downhill for me around age 55. Meds and a chronic health issue.

One measure I have of my running fitness compared to when I was younger is seeing where I am to Boston Marathon qualifying times, since they ease the qualifying standards in 5 year age groups. I was able to qualify for a few years starting at age 49. Can't now though, but I hope to get back to that level.

 

[Scuba]

I also recently had a groin injury. It was one of my hip flexors, and astonishing how much it hurt at times! It took 10 weeks for the pain to go away, last to leave was the pain going upstairs or up hill. I asked the doctor for a PT referral, and did 8 sessions. On the first visit, I told the PT my main goal was to return to hiking ASAP. She started with basic stretching, movement type exercises, and progressed over the weeks to hiking targeted exercises. I highly recommend doing some PT (and the homework). I'm easing back into hiking now, I figure about 4-6 weeks before I'm back to my usual trails.

So glad to hear you are overcoming your injury and returning to hiking! This is very encouraging. Thank you for posting. Uphill is definitely the toughest for me too.

 

[Music Lover]

I would love to know where my body falls on the health spectrum for aging American males. How many late-50's men take zero medications and have zero chronic health issues?

I'm Canadian in my late 50's (I turn 59 in a couple weeks) and have zero health issues and don't require any meds. Partly (mostly?) due to luck and genetics and partly due to a lifetime of lifting and an active lifestyle.

But I've cut back. I used to walk 36 holes of golf sometimes 2 days in a row, now I just play one round still walking but rarely 2 days in a row. I used to play softball a lot...some years 100 games or more over the summer but now I just spare on my GF's mixed slo-pitch team AND get a designated runner if I make it to first base. I still lift but less intensely and am always mindful of warming up and not going too hard. I used to run half marathons, 10k's, etc but now just run an easy 5k two or three times a week.

I just spent 2 days helping a friend repair bad soffit and fascia and then shingled his cabin (there's still more to do) but we took it easy and worked 7-8 hour days instead of 10+ hours like we would have in the past.