Do you believe in stopping life if

[pacergal]

DH and I both have advanced directives and we have reviewed them with our kids.
We have recently added the dementia clause, which I believe I first read about on this forum.
Living in a state with assisted suicide laws helps, but there are restrictions and you must be within 6 months of imminent death.

 

[Starsky]

I think what people are trying to avoid is a long, lingering death process. Many situations are obvious and I believe people should have the right to make a decision to die as they wish; but end-of-life directives are scary documents and I think it could be a very difficult thing to make the decision for someone else - especially someone with dementia who is otherwise awake and aware - even with foreknowledge of their wishes.

(Should have kept clicking. This is just about the biggest buzzkill topic I've seen on this blog. Great start to the day. I have a memorial to attend.)

 

[Sojourner]

I always found it odd that as a society we believe that in certain situations that putting animals down so they don't have to suffer is the right thing to do but we are aghast at applying the same concept to ourselves. Vermont and a couple other states have "death with dignity" laws that allow a pill to be prescribed in certain terminal illness situations... 38 Vermonters have used the law. With respect to the OP though, the law cannot be used for dementia as I understand it, only for terminal illnesses that will result in death within six months (including a second opinion).

+1

I would imagine that at some point within the next decade or two, medical science will have advanced enough so that a person with advanced dementia could qualify for the "death within six months" requirement based on a brain scan. I've had several relatives suffer from this horrible disease, and IMHO, it is truly a fate worse than death.

 

[Senator]

If you can get yourself to the Netherlands, you have options.

Why do people expect this thread to get shut down? This is not politics nor religion.

It is a controversial thread.

 

[6miths]

Assisted death is now legal in Canada. In my mind there are many things much worse than death.

 

[Aerides]

Personally? Yes, and DH too. We watched his mother spend her last two years barely ever "there", and both agreed that we don't want anything like that for ourselves.

but you already have some societies where it's going to cross the line for a lot of folks.
Where it becomes a business, when those that want to go become customers...when the age of consent gets uncomfortably young...when the definition of qualification expands beyond what most of us might think reasonable.

Read up on what is permitted in Belgium and even those with quite liberal views on the topic might be alarmed.

 

[easysurfer]

It is a controversial thread.

That's why I punted instead of stating my belief.

A good discussion here, nevertheless.

 

[street]

It is a controversial thread.

The intent of this thread is not to be a political or religion opinion but a personal opinion and how each feels about the subject. A yes or no answer is fine each to their own wants when we reach that time in life.

 

[NW-Bound]

I recently watched a British movie called "Me Before You (2016)" on DVD.

A successful and rich young man became quadriplegic after an accident. He lost the will to live, and wanted to go to Switzerland to obtain an assisted suicide. His parents and his newly found love tried to talk him out of it.

So, rich people always have a choice to go abroad. It is even cheaper than long-term care, but one needs someone to execute his desire.

 

[W2R]

The intent of this thread is not to be a political or religion opinion but a personal opinion and how each feels about the subject. A yes or no answer is fine each to their own wants when we reach that time in life.

OK, then here goes. I enjoy every single minute of life. My opinion is that for me, even agony, pain, and misery are better than nothingness. So, my answer is "no", for me.

I respect others' choices and decisions and would never dream of telling anyone else what to do in this regard.

 

[Meadbh]

I would certainly like to have the option to decide how and when to exit the building, particularly if facing a painful disease with miserable quality of life. I am very pleased that we now have medical assistance in dying in Canada. I would like the criteria to be less restrictive, but I totally understand that legislators, medical personnel and the public need to develop a level of comfort with what we have before proceeding further. I believe over 2000 people have used MAID already.

 

[MRG]

Yes I do believe in the right to choose self termination.

Would I? Depends.

 

[ncbill]

I believe in a natural death, but won’t explain why so this thread isn’t shut down. However, my attorney has a document that DW or DS can obtain to withhold any heroic measures in prolonging my life. I will also be providing copies to my doctors and any hospitals I use.

Yes, this is why everyone should have a medical power of attorney with their wishes explicitly stated.

Since I saw a loved one with dementia "cured" of several life-threatening infections which did little more than extend their terminal illness for the better part of a decade, my health care POA is specific & pretty strict, including "no antibiotics" in the event of any terminal illness, including dementia.

 

[travelover]

..........Why do people expect this thread to get shut down? This is not politics nor religion.

Because euthanasia is verboten in some religions. Religious threads don't do well here.

 

[Amethyst]

I think this subject is controversial mainly because of the dementia issue. Who decides that you are beyond making your own decisions, and should be put to death "in accordance with his/her wishes"?

I put this very question to our estate attorney in the course of drawing up our end-of-life paperwork. She said "It's usually a family member, or a close friend you trust." Ah, but what of those who don't trust their family, or are all alone? Along comes April Parks, with a paper that gives her the right to make your decisions, and syringe of morphine to put you out of your misery.

 

[Koogie]

Along comes April Parks, with a paper that gives her the right to make your decisions, and syringe of morphine to put you out of your misery.

Completely off topic but I would be delighted if that womans name became a byword for despicable illegality. Like Ponzi or Madoff.

Let her live in infamy.

 

[Teacher Terry]

When I became the guardian for a good friend of mine that had dementia her husband thankfully was still alive although dying from cancer. He told me that she did not want to have treatment for another disease if she had dementia. That made things easy for me when her cancer came back so we did not treat it. Her cancer doctor was mad because he had cured her 7 times previously and could not seem to grasp that she had Alzheimer's even though she was in a home because her DH was too sick to care for her. I just called her family doctor that ordered hospice care in the home. However, I would not have been willing to withhold food/water from her.

 

[pb4uski]

I think this subject is controversial mainly because of the dementia issue. Who decides that you are beyond making your own decisions, and should be put to death "in accordance with his/her wishes"?

I put this very question to our estate attorney in the course of drawing up our end-of-life paperwork. She said "It's usually a family member, or a close friend you trust." Ah, but what of those who don't trust their family, or are all alone? Along comes April Parks, with a paper that gives her the right to make your decisions, and syringe of morphine to put you out of your misery.

And that is why the death with dignity laws only apply to those with terminal illnesses that are expected to die within six months and a second opinion is required (as well as other protections). So you can't check out if you just have acute chronic pain... that is what pain meds are for. Also, you have to be of sound mind (a physchiatric exam is required) and administer the med yourself... if April Parks helps then she could be charged.

 

[bclover]

Best gift one can give to family members is having those end of life papers (living will, advanced directives, medical power of attorney) ready. That way, they don't have to decide for you what to do if/when the time comes.

As for do I believe ... I'll punt .

not only papers but have discussions. they don't have to be long or dramatic. I've got two or three good friends and my sibling whom I've told and will continue to tell my wishes.

I believe in stopping extraordinary measures. i want quality over quantity

 

[easysurfer]

not only papers but have discussions. they don't have to be long or dramatic. I've got two or three good friends and my sibling whom I've told and will continue to tell my wishes.

I believe in stopping extraordinary measures. i want quality over quantity

+1 about the discussions.

I have the paperwork done for myself and named a sibling as the person to handle things should my life go south. I've expressed my wishes to her and other family members in conversations.

My goal is to make this task as easy as possible for the folks left behind. I think they'd be happy to not have to make the decision. Otherwise, might have one family member have one view, than other have a totally opposing view. With the paperwork done, I hope they are reasonable enough to say "well, at least we honor his wishes, which was in writing."

 

[Moemg]

not only papers but have discussions. they don't have to be long or dramatic. I've got two or three good friends and my sibling whom I've told and will continue to tell my wishes.

I am so grateful my late husband and I had this discussion when we were going to do new wills .It made it easier on me when He was dying a year later .

 

[rodi]

After watching my dad and my brother deal with terminal cancer at the same time - with entirely different DNRs, this subject hits home for me. My dad, having nursed my mother through 3.5 years of horrific chemo and surgeries before she died knew he did not want extraordinary measures. He made sure his wife (stepmom), and my sister and I knew his wishes. We declined measures to extend his life at the end and he went on his own terms in a way he would have approved of. My brother, a month later, was demanding everything be done, despite the aggressive cancer and terminal diagnosis. He spent his last 5 weeks going through extreme emergency surgery after extreme emergency surgery. Ironically, we'd almost talked him into hospice when he finally got the appt with the "super doc". Super doc was more interested in using him as a teaching case for his resident fellows at the teaching hospital. But it was my brother's choice... we honored it.

I have my advanced directive in place, as does DH. We have our differences but have agreed to honor each other's wishes.

Dementia is harder. DH is guardian for his mother, who has dementia... Her quality of life isn't the best, but isn't terrible, now that she's in a very nice memory unit. Since she can't make the decisions, and since she didn't have an advanced directive... We continue her BP meds and palliative care for the aches and pain of old age.

 

[Senator]

And that is why the death with dignity laws only apply to those with terminal illnesses that are expected to die within six months and a second opinion is required (as well as other protections). So you can't check out if you just have acute chronic pain... that is what pain meds are for. Also, you have to be of sound mind (a physchiatric exam is required) and administer the med yourself... if April Parks helps then she could be charged.

Actually, depression is a valid reason for euthanasia in some countries.

 

[pb4uski]

OP is in the US, I am in the US and you are in the US... the death with dignity law that I was referring to is in the US if you had followed the thread.

There is a nuance of a difference between death with dignity and euthanasia... the former is simply accelerating death since one needs a terminal illness to qualify (and must also pass a physchiatric exam). Since depression is treatable and not terminal, I would not be comfortable with that as a valid reason for euthanasia and it would not fall under death with dignity laws.

 

[stepford]

DW is adamant that she doesn't want to live with dementia and, if the diagnosis is ever made, wants to check herself out while she can still has the mental capacity to do so. This has always seemed a trifle early to me, but if the time comes I expect to do whatever is necessary to ensure she is able to do as she wants.

Of course that doesn't leave anyone to pull the switch for me when the time comes, but my folks seem to live well into their 90s with something like a sound mind so I should have a while to figure something out.