Coronavirus Humor

[zedd]

Where do we go now?

Nothing like a good polka to kick the crap out of the covid19 blues

 

[aaronc879]

-Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

-I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

-Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

-I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

-Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

-Every few days try your on jeans just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

-I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

-This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

-My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

-Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

-Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

-Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

-Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

 

[nvestysly]

Nothing like a good polka to kick the crap out of the covid19 blues

I found the video above so interesting I had to check out their YouTube channel. There are a limited number of songs they sing in English but this AC/DC tune caught my eye.

 

[KCGeezer]

This video speaks for itself

 

[BigNick]

This Twitter exchange is very, very British, but add a couple of "Oh my!"s and it should work for Americans too!

 

[Nemo2]

Corvid masks:
https://suwalls.com/minimalistic/absol-pokemon

 

[CardsFan]

Corvid masks:
absol wallpaper

Bigger isn't always better

 

[Winemaker]

Was't the saying " Anything bigger than a noseful was wasted?"

 

[BigNick]

The members of Spinal Tap have all caught the coronavirus. Apparently they were maintaining 6" of separation.

 

[Nemo2]

 

[Amethyst]

Tried searching to see if this has been posted already - results inconclusive:

 

[Walt34]

Random thoughts:

 

[mitchjav]

Quarantine Soundtrack

https://tovaleigh.com/videos/quarantine-the-soundtrack

 

[CardsFan]

https://tovaleigh.com/videos/quarantine-the-soundtrack

Now THAT is funny.

 

[Nemo2]

Now THAT is funny.

A lot of effort put into making it too!

 

[Car-Guy]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Hey fellow, I'm 86 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you must be about my age. How do you feel?"
The other man answers, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

 

[Ready]

A little entertainment for the pickleball fans waiting out this pandemic so we can all get back on the courts.

https://www.jigsawhealth.com/blog/i...ton-parody-song-about-pickleball-funnyfriday/

 

[Dtail]

A little entertainment for the pickleball fans waiting out this pandemic so we can all get back on the courts.

https://www.jigsawhealth.com/blog/i...ton-parody-song-about-pickleball-funnyfriday/

Very cute. Thanks.
I miss playing so much. Used to playing 6 days a week.
My DGF hits the ball around with me, but just not the same.

 

[6miths]

https://tovaleigh.com/videos/quarantine-the-soundtrack

Yes that was great. Shared!

 

[Nemo2]

Stolen from elsewhere:

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Midpack]

Easter Eggs 2020

 

[Dtail]

...

Too much using lettuce will make you Arugula.

 

[BigNick]

A couple decided they wanted to have a quickie one afternoon during the lockdown. But what to do about their 8-year old son? They sent him out on the balcony with a Snickers bar and told him to report on all the activity going on in the street.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed away' he shouted.
'Ooh, an ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have people round'
'Matt's out on his bike and his mother is telling him off'
'Ha ha, Jason has had his skate board taken off him.'
'Oh, the Coopers are having sex!'

Startled, his parents shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're having sex?'

'Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Snickers bar!'

 

[Chapter 3]

A couple decided they wanted to have a quickie one afternoon during the lockdown. But what to do about their 8-year old son? They sent him out on the balcony with a Snickers bar and told him to report on all the activity going on in the street.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed away' he shouted.
'Ooh, an ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have people round'
'Matt's out on his bike and his mother is telling him off'
'Ha ha, Jason has had his skate board taken off him.'
'Oh, the Coopers are having sex!'

Startled, his parents shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're having sex?'

'Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Snickers bar!'