New here, referred from Bogleheads

[amcan57]

Hello,
I was referred to this site from the Boglehead site. This was after setting a retirement date, then rescinding it after concerns of how the devil I will spend the , perhaps, 30 more years of my life. I'm a self-employed famiy physican.
I have hobbies/interests, but they take up 2 or 3 hours max a day, and that lives too many hours unaccounted for. I'm single, my kids live out of state.
Any like MD's here , with similar questions or hopefully answers ?....best , Doug

 

[REWahoo]

Paging Rich_in_Tampa, Meadbh, DblDoc...

 

[REWahoo]

Amcan57, while you are waiting you might want to check out some of the threads you'll find here: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f47/faq-archive-but-what-will-i-do-all-day-30655.html

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Welcome to the board, Doug. I am a recently (April) retired academic internist, chose the semi-retirement route for a while, but find myself increasingly motivated to decrease the "semi-" part. I am pretty sure I caused some mental illness here on the board postponing my decision for a while (retired at age 61) but in the end feel very glad I got through the 08 economic storm before finally pulling the plug.

It was not easy for me to get over the decades of defining yourself solely as a doctor, it is really liberating and uplifting to restore balance to your life.

You might enjoy perusing some of the archived threads. Look forward to learning more about your situation.

 

[amcan57]

Thanks for your reply, Rich. I am 59, a couple months shy of 60. With the months winding down to my planned date to end my lease and sign off, I had serious second thoughts. I told the president of our partnership that I am staying in it for a while longer. A lot of it was giving up a large degree of my self-worth and identity. I am financially set ( reached my 'number' in January this year, it then took a dip, but has bounced back). So I think I'll take more time off, having never taken more than 3 weeks off a year in the 33 years that I have been doing this. I most worried about how to keep busy. I can only read so much and coffee with old retirees does not sound appealing. So I will read more here and keep in the job force for at least 3 or so more years...Doug

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Thanks for your reply, Rich. So I think I'll take more time off, having never taken more than 3 weeks off a year in the 33 years that I have been doing this. I most worried about how to keep busy. I can only read so much and coffee with old retirees does not sound appealing. So I will read more here and keep in the job force for at least 3 or so more years...Doug

I hear ya.

You might find some of the archived threads interesting, like the numerous "what do you do all day" ones. You also might find that you no longer have a need to fill everyday with planned activities, that you acquire a taste for leisure. You'll work it out.

 

[BUM]

I Doug,

I'm not a MD but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night and I've been FIRE'd since 2005. Like you I Bogelheaded and studied all I could find, including this great forum before I retired, and I worried a lot about spending money and time. In retrospect it all was mostly nervous energy and micromanagement.

Take the plunge. The water's fine.

 

[Moemg]

Welcome ,
I am a retired RN and I had the same concerns . What will I do all day ? I am not the play cards with the gals type . I am more of a doer . I joined a gym . I started an ebay business and I am currently remodeling my house . Between all this and visiting my daughter who lives several states away my life is filled . It seems like most medical people have the hardest time retiring . Like Rich I did it in phases until I was truly ready at 59 . Good Luck ! It really is enjoyable and as fulfilling as you make it .

 

[Helen]

Hi Doug,

I'm not a doctor but I am from Midland, MI. Welcome to the forum!

-helen

 

[Nords]

Welcome tothe board, Doug.

Typical ER comment:
"Before I ER'd I was worried about what I would do all day. Now I wonder why I was worried about it."

Rich had the board's worst case of "just one more year" syndrome. If he could heal himself then you can too.

It's easier than it looks. If you're enjoying the heck out of working then that's what you should do. But if you're working because you can't imagine how else to pass your time, then you need a new imagination.

 

[DblDoc]

Welcome Doug.

I'm about 10 years behind you and Rich. Any possibility of a sabbatical from your job to test the waters? You might also do a search for "bucket list" and get inspired about things you might want to accomplish in life but haven't had the time to dedicate to it yet. We tend to be type A's and want to complete "tasks". If you had a list of 100 things to do in life before your done (like learn a new language) you might find your days filling in quickly. Good luck in whatever you decide.

DD

 

[check6]

When I saw my dermatologist last year I used to kid him that I retired before him and was 5 years younger than him. Not to be morbid, he had a heart attack the next month and past away. Something to think about and why I retired early.

 

[Cattusbabe]

Welcome to the board. Another retired RN here. Took the leap five years ago at age fifty. Never looked back. Would have done this at age forty if I have the bucks.

After a period of "decompression" I have filled my days with all the stuff I have always wanted to do but never had the time. I volunteer with the Red Cross, I work out with my sister three days per week and walk five mile the alternate three days. Sunday I rest. Hubby (also retired) and I have decluttered and reorganized the house and are remodeling some rooms since we plan to stay here for life. (NB. You guys were right. The bathroom remodel took longer than the promised three weeks.) We also travel. We have more time to spend with family and more time to engage in our hobbies, dining and entertainment interests. I guess you build a retirement like you build a career and a life.

 

[Meadbh]

Welcome Doug!

I'm a single neonatologist in Canada with several years to go. I know the "one more year" feeling. It seems we docs have a great deal of our personal self worth tied up in our careers. In between working and planning my exit strategy I'm gradually learning to smell the roses and to say that very important word: NO. I've learnt that it is really, really important to take my vacations and to develop interests and friends around them. And to turn off the beeper when not on call!

I look forward to your input. Enjoy the forum!

meadbh

 

[Xman]

Amcan57 - Sorry in advance to take this thread on a tangent, but...
I have a question for the medical folks here. My daughter will be a senior in high school next year. She is an excellent student and highly motivated. She loves biology, got a 5 in the AP class last year, and has planned for a couple years to be a doctor. Last year she participated in a shadowing program at a local hospital. She received a lot of advice from both doctors and nurses that she would be better off becoming a nurse practitioner or a anethesia nurse than a doctor. Better hours, almost as good pay, more patient interaction. I've already set aside money for her education - through medical school - so education cost is not a factor. As an old-fashioned non-medical person, I've been very excited by the idea of her becoming a doctor. But I don't want to push her to become a doc just to satisfy my ego, expecially because I don't really know this area. I'd appreciated any input from those in the know.

Thanks.

 

[chinaco]

Welcome

 

[Meadbh]

Amcan57 - Sorry in advance to take this thread on a tangent, but...
I have a question for the medical folks here. My daughter will be a senior in high school next year. She is an excellent student and highly motivated. She loves biology, got a 5 in the AP class last year, and has planned for a couple years to be a doctor. Last year she participated in a shadowing program at a local hospital. She received a lot of advice from both doctors and nurses that she would be better off becoming a nurse practitioner or a anethesia nurse than a doctor. Better hours, almost as good pay, more patient interaction. I've already set aside money for her education - through medical school - so education cost is not a factor. As an old-fashioned non-medical person, I've been very excited by the idea of her becoming a doctor. But I don't want to push her to become a doc just to satisfy my ego, expecially because I don't really know this area. I'd appreciated any input from those in the know.

Thanks.

You are a good parent indeed to have saved for DD's tuition, thereby enabling her to start her career without a millstone round her neck!

I'm glad DD is shadowing people. Back in the day when I was her age (old curmudgeon here) these opportunities didn't exist. Both medicine and nursing are great career paths, each with many possibilities and variations. You can have more patient interaction in both careers if you stick to clinical work, and less if you become a researcher or administrator. Both require a lot of night and shift work, particularly early in one's career.

Personality and values are quite important in deciding between the two. Generally speaking, people who make good clinical nurses tend to be EF (extrovert, feeling) on the Myers Briggs personality test, and tend to focus on qualitative aspects and the process of care. Physicians tend to be all over the map, but in my experience tend to be a bit more quantitative (I myself am INTJ on the Myers Briggs). I haven't seen much data on the personality traits of nurse practitioners, but I would think they tend to be somewhere in between. Getting to be a nurse practitioner takes time, experience and a master's degree (in general) but nurses start earning earlier than physicians do, and usually become employees with pensions. Many physicians are paid as individual contractors and in effect are small business owners.

This decision is a huge one and DD needs to be as informed as possible. In the final analysis, it will come down to her preferences. If she would like individual input, send me a PM with DD's contact details.

 

[Xman]

Meadbh - Thank you for your thoughful reply. My daughter took a test last year, through the school, to match up her aptitudes and personality with different career choices. Two careers (that I remember) that people like her enjoy were nursing and teaching. Funny because she is rather introverted. The distinction between clinical and research/admin makes sense, also the employee vs. independent operator. Thanks for the perspectives.

 

[HsiaoChu]

Defining Yourself

It was not easy for me to get over the decades of defining yourself solely as a doctor, it is really liberating and uplifting to restore balance to your life.

This is one of the major MENTAL hassles of retiring after a long time working IN A REAL CAREER. IMO, those people who work at different jobs, whose job is just a job and not a full blown career, or who retire after less than 30 years-AND/OR don't really define themselves by what they do, don't really understand. This may be limited to what used to be called the "Professions": doctors, educators, college professors, high up upper management Executives for one corporation for a long time, etc. These people have a pretty much defined their lives around the goals and stuff of a career doing one specific kind of thing better than anyone else that they know within the parameters that they've been given.

And even though you may know its time to go(I'm retiring in 10.5 months, after 40 years as a professional counselor in school based mental health services), and you have plenty to do and hobbies to try, and things to volunteer, you know that you will no longer be able to define yourself as anything other than a former "something". Any association you are a part of makes you a "retired member". You no longer have any say in your profession that you labored so hard at for so many years and which you developed a point of leadership over your mostly younger peers. Your biggest problem is that while working, you had utility, and people needed you and depended on you. Now you have to adjust to a place where substantially less people need you, and almost nobody depends on you. This can be liberating, but for many with whom their lives were not just defined by money and stuff, this can be very very very hard. I can see this looming.

Only those who actually defined their lives based on what they did for a living can understand this LOSS.

I suspect the only way is to look for leadership posts in your volunteer work in your retirement from your life defining job.

HsiaoChu

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

This is one of the major MENTAL hassles of retiring after a long time working IN A REAL CAREER. IMO, those people who work at different jobs, whose job is just a job and not a full blown career, or who retire after less than 30 years-AND/OR don't really define themselves by what they do, don't really understand.
I suspect the only way is to look for leadership posts in your volunteer work in your retirement from your life defining job.

I understand your drift but careful how you define a "REAL CAREER." Lots of folks work hard and diligently in all types of jobs, are smarter than most of us, earn an honest wage and all that -- I don't think they would look at their work lives as anything less than a "REAL CAREER."

In fact, for me the first step was to get over my self-perceived "specialness." While everyone's experience in this transition is unique, a professional and rewarding career is neither rare nor particularly valuable in preparing for the FIRE world. I had to realize that mine was not a "special case" -- it was just my circumstance. Those from other walks of life face comparable issues, losses. The heftiness of your paycheck and our workplace stature erode in the blink of an eye.

Once I made that leap, it was all good -- at least so far (5 months). In my case, part-time work has made this transition easier and more solid. Now I am finding that such work is too often inconveniencing me from my more important FIRE duties, like travel, reading, visiting grandkids, hobbies, doing nothing, and renewing friendships -- in fact I am in the process of cutting back.

I think you will find that we (so-called "professionals") are not always as special as we might think. And most of what I've learned on this forum over the years is from members who are a lot wiser than I, coming a broad range of careers most of which are not the traditional professions.

 

[REWahoo]

As Rich points out, most of us are only 'special' in our own minds. Once you get over that you can get on with enjoying life.

 

[Katsmeow]

I didn't see HsiaoChu;s post as saying that people in professions like medicine, law, etc. are actually more special or better than anyone else. However, there is a difference between many people with jobs and those who have a specific career role that is very self-defining. That is seen commonly with the professions like medicine and law but al so exists in other areas as well.

My DH recently retired after over 30 years with the same company. Certainly I'm no more special than he is. Yet, he did not define himself as much by his work as I defined myself by mine.

 

[HsiaoChu]

I didn't see HsiaoChu's post as saying that people in professions like medicine, law, etc. are actually more special or better than anyone else. However, there is a difference between many people with jobs and those who have a specific career role that is very self-defining......

Of course all of this is my opinion only, and others may have a different opinion, and probably should, so we all don't forget who we actually are.

The key to understanding my post is not to get hung up on defining a REAL CAREER in ways that denote one person as MORE SPECIAL THAN SOMEBODY ELSE.

The key to understanding my post is that anyone who had a career that was specific enough FOR THEM TO HAVE A SIGNIFICANT DEFINITION OF THEMSELVES as that career, will need to address issues. For them then, this is a real career.

I suggested that certain occupations could be much easier to make this definition. Its not black or white guys/gals. There is a huge gray area in all of this. I'm sure that if you had a career digging holes for coffins, and it was self defining for you, then you could run into emotional issues when you are no longer a card carrying member of that group.

But the key item, IMO, is the degree to which you defined yourself as a certain career. Its also the degree to which you can let that go away, which probably is somewhat dependent on the amount of FUN and Fulfillment you had actually doing the job. And again, the occupations I listed often have greater fulfillment than the digger one

HsiaoChu

P.S. Rich, I suspect that specialness is an issue for you. You responded by defining your medical career in terms of your issues with special-ness. I've tried for much of my life to get rid of the concept of specialness as much as I can. I don't define a career in specialness terms.

I have a daughter who continues to believe that the college education we paid for, at a somewhat special kind of liberal arts institution, makes her more special than anyone else. It keeps tripping her up even 8 years later despite the fact most of her peers have already gone on to some kind of grad school, and she has not. Her degree of believing that her education made her special has something to do with this. Everything is always ABOUT HER.

 

[HsiaoChu]

As Rich points out, most of us are only 'special' in our own minds. Once you get over that you can get on with enjoying life.

IMO, I'm not sure that removing all specialness is possible or even desirable for effective living, unless..... one is vying for a postion on the "Sainthood Fooseball Team".

 

[REWahoo]

IMO, I'm not sure that removing all specialness is possible or even desirable for effective living, unless..... one is vying for a postion on the "Sainthood Fooseball Team".

I'm team captain...