tangomonster
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2006
- Messages
- 757
My husband and I participate in a lot of Meetup groups, so we socialize two to four times a week together. But it's becoming an issue that we don't have equal opportunity for independent socialization. As a female and being more outgoing than he is, I find it easier to make friends. Most of my friends, including single women, become his friends as well (in that we see them together)---but I still want some time just one on one with them. I think it's healthy not to be together 24/7. And the dynamics change when he is with it. I know all his stories. I know how he thinks. And I have to worry about including him in the conversation. So about once or twice a month, I like to do my own thing and go off to lunch with a friend.
My cat looks at me pitifully when I leave her every day...and now I think I may have a 60 year old human doing the same! It's not quite that he gives me a hard time about leaving him. But he'll worry about what he's going to eat (we are both foodies who enjoy cooking, but for one meal a couple of times a month, I honestly don't care what he eats and thinks he can fend for himself!). And today he said, supposedly jokingly, that maybe he should see about going out to lunch with Patty (one of my friends, whom we now are friendly with as a couple, along with her husband). I discouraged him from doing this as they are both quiet and she could think it was weird with him contacting her (I do think men and women can be friends, so nothing wrong with it in that regard).
I'd love for him to make some friends on his own, but we all know it's more difficult for guys to establish friendships...and my husband is different than a lot of guys (for example, not liking sports). Can't think of any way for him to find them---we don't belong to a church, don't work, and don't have a community where there are really any compatible folks. And truth be told, he's never done that well making friends, even as a kid. Any suggestions?
And am I wrong to want just a couple of days a month just for me to do my own thing? (We are together all the rest of the time, even going to the same gym classes, except on Saturdays when he takes the day off from there).
My cat looks at me pitifully when I leave her every day...and now I think I may have a 60 year old human doing the same! It's not quite that he gives me a hard time about leaving him. But he'll worry about what he's going to eat (we are both foodies who enjoy cooking, but for one meal a couple of times a month, I honestly don't care what he eats and thinks he can fend for himself!). And today he said, supposedly jokingly, that maybe he should see about going out to lunch with Patty (one of my friends, whom we now are friendly with as a couple, along with her husband). I discouraged him from doing this as they are both quiet and she could think it was weird with him contacting her (I do think men and women can be friends, so nothing wrong with it in that regard).
I'd love for him to make some friends on his own, but we all know it's more difficult for guys to establish friendships...and my husband is different than a lot of guys (for example, not liking sports). Can't think of any way for him to find them---we don't belong to a church, don't work, and don't have a community where there are really any compatible folks. And truth be told, he's never done that well making friends, even as a kid. Any suggestions?
And am I wrong to want just a couple of days a month just for me to do my own thing? (We are together all the rest of the time, even going to the same gym classes, except on Saturdays when he takes the day off from there).