Recent publicity surrounding the indictment of Adrian Peterson (NFL running back) on felony child abuse charges for using corporal discipline on his son has sparked some interesting discussions with colleagues at work and my siblings about parenting & disciplining one's children.
Rather than focusing on Peterson's guilt or innocence, I thought it be might interesting to hear about the experiences of others. How were you parented in terms of boundaries and what discipline(s) did your parents use? And similarly, how did you choose to parent your kids?
My experiences growing up - along with DB & DS - our parents took an "old school" approach. The boundaries were clear:
- Children are to be seen & not heard (yes, those words were spoken to us by mom & dad).
- Parents & children are not equals.
- Parents are not their children's friends.
- Democracy was NOT a form of governance in our home. Under our roof it was a monarchy and us kids were the "loyal subjects".
- Dad's favorite and often used expression directed at us kids, "you are low men on the totem pole around here".
- Another favorite from Mom & Dad "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."
Acting out in our home resulted in various consequences up to and including "the belt" (Dad's version) or Mom grabbing whatever was handy and whacking us with it.
None of us kids ever felt as though we had been abused in any way and grew up grateful for the fact we had a stable home and parents that loved us.
DB never had kids of his own. DS & I, along with our spouses largely parented our children similar to our parents, though we may have been slightly more lenient. The only piece of parenting advice from my now dearly departed Dad was given shortly after our first child was born - "it's okay for kids to be a little bit afraid of their parents." I have to agree that fear - in its proper context - can be a healthy thing. That's where Dad was going with his remark....
All of our children have grown up to be responsible, hard working adults (though I think parents sometimes take too much credit for their kid's successes and often have to shoulder too much blame if they become ne'er do wells). Our two sons - who at times hated us during their teen years, thinking our parenting was too strict - have since told us how much they appreciated us making them toe the mark, so to speak. Both were challenging to raise in terms of being strong-headed, independent cusses who were at time inclined to challenge the status quo at home!
Just curious about the experiences of others if you're willing to share.
Rather than focusing on Peterson's guilt or innocence, I thought it be might interesting to hear about the experiences of others. How were you parented in terms of boundaries and what discipline(s) did your parents use? And similarly, how did you choose to parent your kids?
My experiences growing up - along with DB & DS - our parents took an "old school" approach. The boundaries were clear:
- Children are to be seen & not heard (yes, those words were spoken to us by mom & dad).
- Parents & children are not equals.
- Parents are not their children's friends.
- Democracy was NOT a form of governance in our home. Under our roof it was a monarchy and us kids were the "loyal subjects".
- Dad's favorite and often used expression directed at us kids, "you are low men on the totem pole around here".
- Another favorite from Mom & Dad "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."
Acting out in our home resulted in various consequences up to and including "the belt" (Dad's version) or Mom grabbing whatever was handy and whacking us with it.
None of us kids ever felt as though we had been abused in any way and grew up grateful for the fact we had a stable home and parents that loved us.
DB never had kids of his own. DS & I, along with our spouses largely parented our children similar to our parents, though we may have been slightly more lenient. The only piece of parenting advice from my now dearly departed Dad was given shortly after our first child was born - "it's okay for kids to be a little bit afraid of their parents." I have to agree that fear - in its proper context - can be a healthy thing. That's where Dad was going with his remark....
All of our children have grown up to be responsible, hard working adults (though I think parents sometimes take too much credit for their kid's successes and often have to shoulder too much blame if they become ne'er do wells). Our two sons - who at times hated us during their teen years, thinking our parenting was too strict - have since told us how much they appreciated us making them toe the mark, so to speak. Both were challenging to raise in terms of being strong-headed, independent cusses who were at time inclined to challenge the status quo at home!
Just curious about the experiences of others if you're willing to share.
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