Poll: What gender are you?

[JoeWras]

One of the main problems, generally speaking, is that there is a sizable percentage of young men on the internet who just enjoy being assholes. It's not most, not half, just a small minority, but they are vocal, and a little bit of that nastiness can go a long way to poisoning the well. ER.org doesn't have that problem, because by its nature it attracts an older crowd.

It is a form of vandalism. The same itch that causes vandalism manifests itself with intentional toxic trolling.


And boy, does it poison the well all right.

 

[Dash man]

Can’t see with mobile app...

Press on the three dots in the upper right of your mobile app screen. Select Web View.

 

[iloveyoga]

I've wondered about this.

 

[ER Eddie]

I've wondered about this.

About what gender you are?

 

[tmm99]

Press on the three dots in the upper right of your mobile app screen. Select Web View.

Didn't know. Thanks.

 

[cooch96]

I've spent time on a couple of skiing forums, and a women's only skiing forum. Big difference. On the women's site, the arguments are few and generally friendly, and the disrespect, contempt, and venom are close to zero.

This is interesting. I belong to a backyard chicken forum, mostly female, and it’s supportive as you might expect. I also belong to a kilt enthusiast forum, over 90% male, and it’s the most overly polite group I’ve ever encountered. Turns out it has to be polite to function, as there are very few authentic highlanders who wear a kilt regularly and are willing to chat with foreigners about their national garment. It’s a touchy subject, as miswearing the kilt is considered mockery and cultural appropriation by some. And I lurk in a variety of wristwatch and gun forums, both even more male-dominated than kilt enthusiasts. The watch forum is very similar to this one and the gun forums tend to cover a wide spectrum in civility.

So is it topic based, gender based, or does each forum have its own culture? My personal experience is women are nastier in meatspace and men (young men, as another poster pointed out) tend to use forums to vent and rage and rant the most vile things.

Fascinating.

 

[Chuckanut]

Years ago I was part of a bread machine forum. Mostly ladies. The guy who ran it was very helpful and always had good ideas for making tasty bread, as a result the ladies just about worshiped him. I bet he got more than one personal message showing interest in making more that bread.

 

[tmm99]

I don't frequent many forums, but I think things could get tense when people talk about money in any forum. Also I've seen people get emotional when they analyze numbers, etc with subsequent who's right, who's wrong discussions, and sometimes things get a bit out of control.

I used to frequent diehard, but I think this forum is more friendly and helpful.

I am female BTW.

For some reason, I tend to assume everyone is male here, unless the avatar or the account name suggest otherwise, so I am surprised to find that many of you are female!

 

[W2R]

I am female BTW.

For some reason, I tend to assume everyone is male here, unless the avatar or the account name suggest otherwise, so I am surprised to find that many of you are female!

I thought you were male at first, but several years ago I finally figured out that you are female. Me too - - I am female and like you, do not try to hide that fact. Since my username isn't specifically female, sometimes people think I am male. That's understandable and I don't care one way or the other.

I have always thought that this forum was mostly guys and so it's no surprise to me that this is the case. I also participate in forums on other topics that are almost entirely women. I like humans of any variety.

People here are intelligent, articulate, and civil, and these matter to me more than what sex they are.

 

[4legsgood]

I'm female but looking into SPIA's and thinking maybe I should change.

 

[mistermike40]

Well, given my user ID I chose male

 

[gauss]

I think it may depend upon subjects. For example, I've been members of some groups that have tended to be more female dominated (although all have some male members) including groups that have focus on some aspects of (1) weight loss, (2) reading, (3) machine embroidery, (4) adoption -- both for adoptees and adoptive parents as I am both, (5) GT (for parents of GT kids), (6) parenting (various aspects), and (6) cosmetic surgery.

GT kids = gifted?
Just curious and too lazy too look it up at the moment. Thanks

 

[Katsmeow]

GT kids = gifted?
Just curious and too lazy too look it up at the moment. Thanks

Yep. Gifted and Talented = GT.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

Not much to argue about when it comes to skiing.

Oh, you would be surprised. Very surprised.

One of the main problems, generally speaking, is that there is a sizable percentage of young men on the internet who just enjoy being assholes. It's not most, not half, just a small minority, but they are vocal, and a little bit of that nastiness can go a long way to poisoning the well.

Yes. And a bunch of them ski.

Another reason for greater civility on some forums is not gender-based, it’s a culture that develops over time. Forum owners and moderators set the tone and police it, and the forum grows into a well-mannered crowd. This could be part of what happens here. I think, too, that this topic attracts people who are less impulsive and perhaps less inclined to have “something to prove.”

 

[trumpeting_angel]

So is it topic based, gender based, or does each forum have its own culture? My personal experience is women are nastier in meatspace and men (young men, as another poster pointed out) tend to use forums to vent and rage and rant the most vile things.

Fascinating.

I think a number of different factors contribute. I’m happy to participate when the conversation remains civil. I find I just don’t need the arguments and nastiness.

 

[JoeWras]

I also belong to a kilt enthusiast forum, over 90% male, and it’s the most overly polite group I’ve ever encountered. Turns out it has to be polite to function, as there are very few authentic highlanders who wear a kilt regularly and are willing to chat with foreigners about their national garment. It’s a touchy subject, as miswearing the kilt is considered mockery and cultural appropriation by some.

I have a bagpiper, kilt wearing friend. This sub-genre is so small, they MUST support each other to the max!

Now, let's talk cars. Even the "chick car" forums get overrun with aggressive guys. The macho car forums are a mess. I am a Subaru Legacy/Outback guy and although the demos on this are very neutral, my sense on the forums is that it is about 70-30 guys to gals. It would be interesting to see a poll.

 

[Katsmeow]

Another reason for greater civility on some forums is not gender-based, it’s a culture that develops over time. Forum owners and moderators set the tone and police it, and the forum grows into a well-mannered crowd. This could be part of what happens here. I think, too, that this topic attracts people who are less impulsive and perhaps less inclined to have “something to prove.”

I think it is mostly about the forum administrators/moderators. I don't really think it is the topic so much. I've been involved in internet forums and mailing lists for over 25 years. I've been a moderator so long that I was a Sysop on Compuserve back when it was "the" place for internet forums and my Compuserve handle was a number...

Anyway - the tone of a forum or a mailing list is primarily set by the moderation. I used to own an adoption related mailing list that was extremely active. We had a great atmosphere because I wouldn't tolerate anything else. Other lists dealing with the same topic could be full of carping and back-biting. Often, the same people were on the other lists but they could get away with things on some lists that I wouldn't allow on mine.

As for young men -- during a lot of the past 10 to 15 years I was an administrator and/or moderator on a couple of forums that had a predominantly young male membership due to the topic (game related). I was definitely an outlier on those forums! Still -- they all had a great atmosphere because of how the site owners approached moderation, particularly, the issue of civility.

When you have a forum with a good atmosphere there is a lot that goes into it. And, it usually involves a lot of care taken by the moderators, much of which is unseen by the members. I think that the great atmosphere of this forum is mostly due to that reason, not due to the composition of the members....

 

[JoeWras]

When you have a forum with a good atmosphere there is a lot that goes into it. And, it usually involves a lot of care taken by the moderators, much of which is unseen by the members. I think that the great atmosphere of this forum is mostly due to that reason, not due to the composition of the members....

I agree, but I also think it really helps to have some diversity of membership.


Very important too is diversity of moderators. This is what killed my sports forum.

 

[always_learning]

People here are intelligent, articulate, and civil, and these matter to me more than what sex they are.

+1

Those three things make this a wonderful place to visit. I might also add that people here are "welcoming".

I've been on more than a few boards where troll-hunting is a valid sport so those with low post counts are routinely accused of being a troll and others where I am ignored because I post infrequently and am not part of the "in group".

I prefer a welcoming atmosphere.

 

[always_learning]

I'm female.

I have nothing witty to add.

 

[Nemo2]

People here are intelligent, articulate, and civil

Exclusionary! What about those of us who are none of these things?

 

[RunningBum]

I have a bagpiper, kilt wearing friend. This sub-genre is so small, they MUST support each other to the max!

Now, let's talk cars. Even the "chick car" forums get overrun with aggressive guys. The macho car forums are a mess. I am a Subaru Legacy/Outback guy and although the demos on this are very neutral, my sense on the forums is that it is about 70-30 guys to gals. It would be interesting to see a poll.

It's funny, most of the cars I've owned have been called by some to be "chick cars"--Mazda Miata, Honda CRV, for example. Apparently I was supposed to buy a Mustang, pickup, or full-size SUV. Oh well. I've been pretty happy with most of my car choices, though that early CRV really was under-powered.

 

[Dtail]

Exclusionary! What about those of us who are none of these things?

You are one of the site's funniest guys, so you can't have everything.

 

[ER Eddie]

I'm a bit of a contrarian, so I'll point out that you need a little conflict and negativity in any group/relationship, or it remains superficial and stultifies. Obviously it's a matter of degree, and most segments of the internet have too much negativity, personal attack, trolling, etc.

But forums can make the opposite mistake, too, and insist on too much niceness and harmony, screening out anything that might possibly lead to conflict or unpleasantness. You need to allow for some of that, or else things remain superficial and inauthentic, not to mention boring. Same thing in any relationship or group.

I heard some stats on it from Jordan Peterson (who does not exactly shy away from conflict, lol), saying that if the ratio of negative to positive drops below 1:10, the relationship is in trouble. That's from Gottman's research, the guy who is well known for intensive studies on marriage success/failure. Gottman's research suggests you need 5 positive interactions to balance out every negative one; that's pretty well known. This other stat is less well known, but to me it's more interesting. If the ratio drops below 1:10 (in other words, if there are very few negative interactions), then that also predicts marital failure.

I'm extrapolating from marriages to forums, and that's admittedly a stretch, but there's a point in there about things being too positive, nice, pleasant, conflict-avoidant, etc.

 

[MichaelB]

Exclusionary! What about those of us who are none of these things?

Just goes to show there's room for everyone here at E-R Forum. Even you