Retire where your kids will want to visit you?

[Koolau]

Through the magic of Zoom, we just visited with ALL the kids Thursday (TG). Amazingly, the family now lives in ONLY 3 states. Still, getting everyone together seems a miracle. YMMV

 

[brett]

In our case that would be Mexico or Florida.

Definite NO to both.

Besides, it is much easier for us to visit them.

 

[Koolau]

In our case that would be Mexico or Florida.

Definite NO to both.

Besides, it is much easier for us to visit them.

As I age, "easier" is a relative term. I'm thinking sending them a check to fly to us may be a LOT easier. Still, some situations do not lend themselves to "throwing money" at the problem.

Our daughter is "insisting" that we visit next year to see her husband "installed" or whatever the term is. In any case, I dread the logistics of either flying to Texas and then on to the midwest or worse (or maybe not) flying to the midwest and driving to Texas. As the old joke goes about the man, tar'd and feather'd and "rode" out of town on a rail - "If it weren't for the honor of the whole thing, I'd just as soon have walked." YMMV

 

[Music Lover]

This doesn't involve kids but is a good example of visiting when one household is working and the other is retired. My wife's sister lives an 8 hour drive away. They both work full time. We usually visit them, although they come here on occasion.

When we visit them we leave Thursday morning and get there around supper time. We spend the weekend with them leaving Monday morning.

But if they want to come here they would leave work around lunch Friday, get here at 9:00 or 10:00, and then have to leave Sunday by lunch so they can be ready for work on Monday.

We drive 8 hours twice with 86 hours between each leg.
They drive 8 hours twice with just 36 hours between each leg.

How often would you make the 2nd trip?

 

[Koolau]

This doesn't involve kids but is a good example of visiting when one household is working and the other is retired. My wife's sister lives an 8 hour drive away. They both work full time. We usually visit them, although they come here on occasion.

When we visit them we leave Thursday morning and get there around supper time. We spend the weekend with them leaving Monday morning.

But if they want to come here they would leave work around lunch Friday, get here at 9:00 or 10:00, and then have to leave Sunday by lunch so they can be ready for work on Monday.

We drive 8 hours twice with 86 hours between each leg.
They drive 8 hours twice with just 36 hours between each leg.

How often would you make the 2nd trip?

That's interesting as just the flight to us is easily 8 hours for our kids - more like a one-way trip of 12 to 14 hours including the required layover for the 2nd flight and the 1 to 3 hour trip to the airport. Naturally, it's NOT a week-end event! YMMV

 

[Helen]

MI friggin hate it there and hate making that trip and they think it's just a grand and wonderful place to be so I dutifully slog my way down and back for xmas but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the day I never set foot in that place again.

My Father didn't like to travel so I spent 80+% of my vacation time visiting my parents 2 - 3 times year in the small town I grew up in. My friends from school had all moved away and there was not much to do there, plus it was a long flight. I miss my parents but I am really glad I don't have to go back there.

 

[old medic]

My opinion is to live where YOU want to .... Your retired and can go visit them.
We had always joked that once the kids were out of the house, and we trading to a sailboat and telling them we were at the last island we just left....

 

[brett]

As I age, "easier" is a relative term. I'm thinking sending them a check to fly to us may be a LOT easier. Still, some situations do not lend themselves to "throwing money" at the problem.

Our daughter is "insisting" that we visit next year to see her husband "installed" or whatever the term is. In any case, I dread the logistics of either flying to Texas and then on to the midwest or worse (or maybe not) flying to the midwest and driving to Texas. As the old joke goes about the man, tar'd and feather'd and "rode" out of town on a rail - "If it weren't for the honor of the whole thing, I'd just as soon have walked." YMMV

Our children could 'insist' away. It would make little difference to us. If we did not want to do something we would not. Travel or otherwise.

 

[Koolau]

Our children could 'insist' away. It would make little difference to us. If we did not want to do something we would not. Travel or otherwise.

Totally agree, but this is the first time since her marriage we traveled TO her - not the other way around. So, I'm softening to the idea - a bit. It will depend on how we feel (physically) at the time. Besides it will be perhaps the final time the extended family will all be together. None of us is getting younger - and some are even older than we are. YMMV

 

[MC Rider]

We thought about retiring to Arkansas where my daughters family was living.
But the weather in Los Angeles would be hard to leave, and NW Arkansas is not as nice. But now they up and moved to New Hampshire. I'll visit, but no way am I moving somewhere with such a cold winter.

 

[meleana]

We live in NH! Heck- it’s not the Arctic here! Lol!

You learn to embrace it and enjoy outdoor activities.

Change of seasons breaks up the monotony.

 

[MC Rider]

We live in NH! Heck- it’s not the Arctic here! Lol!

You learn to embrace it and enjoy outdoor activities.

Change of seasons breaks up the monotony.

LOL. No insult to NH, I have never been there, yet.
I grew up in Chicago area and have had my fill of snow and cold and winter.

I love my outdoor activities. If I really wanted snow it is up there on the mountains nearby in winter. Change of seasons is more subtle here, but we have it.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

LOL. No insult to NH, I have never been there, yet.
I grew up in Chicago area and have had my fill of snow and cold and winter.

I love my outdoor activities. If I really wanted snow it is up there on the mountains nearby in winter. Change of seasons is more subtle here, but we have it.

I grew up in the Midwest and live in California now, too. It was upper sixties and sunny today when we went to the zoo, and I didn't have to dig the car out of a snowbank or shovel the driveway to get there.

 

[MC Rider]

I grew up in the Midwest and live in California now, too. It was upper sixties and sunny today when we went to the zoo, and I didn't have to dig the car out of a snowbank or shovel the driveway to get there.

Yeah. I don't miss owning a snow shovel or a parka.
Had to buy a warm coat a few years ago to travel in the fall. I no longer had one.

 

[brett]

The challenge is that children often move.

Our daughter moved 8 hrs away, now they are moving back to our locale. In the past we have spent Xmas with them at an AI in Mexico. We both traveled to somewhere we both wanted to be. On the beach.

Son moved to the UK, then came back but to a city on the other side of the country from us. And he will probably be moving again.

 

[Koolau]

The challenge is that children often move.

Our daughter moved 8 hrs away, now they are moving back to our locale. In the past we have spent Xmas with them at an AI in Mexico. We both traveled to somewhere we both wanted to be. On the beach.

Son moved to the UK, then came back but to a city on the other side of the country from us. And he will probably be moving again.

Between our 3 kids, they have moved 8 times within 5 states. No way were we going to "follow the grand kids." YMMV

 

[Chuckanut]

Between our 3 kids, they have moved 8 times within 5 states. No way were we going to "follow the grand kids." YMMV

That is muy issue. Perhaps when they have sunk down roots - purchased a house and spent at least 5 years in the new city, - I might change my mind. Maybe.

OTOH, buying a home somewhere they would love to visit might be a better idea. But, since I can travel much more often than they can, maybe it's not such a great idea.

 

[folivier]

Call me crazy but since we bought the cabin in the Colorado mountains, yeah way up at 9400' where the yearly average is 150" snow, we plan to return in February to play in the snow. I have a Ranger with tracks waiting to be buried and dug out. I do have someone set up to snow blow the deck and a couple friends who'll drive their Rangers and snowmobiles through my driveway to pack the snow. And about 8 cords of firewood waiting to be burned. Hopefully we'll survive and do this each winter. Either way we'll be spending the summers getting away from our Louisiana heat and humidity.

 

[clifp]

That's interesting as just the flight to us is easily 8 hours for our kids - more like a one-way trip of 12 to 14 hours including the required layover for the 2nd flight and the 1 to 3 hour trip to the airport. Naturally, it's NOT a week-end event! YMMV

True, but your kids aren't just taking a trip to see parents or the inlaws.

They are going to HAWAII. Do they stay with you? if so they are getting a super cheap Hawaiian vacation: They are saving thousands of dollars, it is like the expensive dress/handbag that's on sale for 75% off. It is too good of a deal to stay home.

If it was me, I'd pull every guilt trip, bribe, necessary to avoid having to go to Texas, ugh.

 

[brett]

A few years ago we rented a condo in Costa Rica for a month. Our son did want to visit us...especially since I bought the ticket.

Daughter wants us to hurry up and rent a condo in Puerto Vallarta for a few months in the winter each year so she and her family can come down to visit. I told her that we would get right on that. Though we may at some point.

 

[Koolau]

True, but your kids aren't just taking a trip to see parents or the inlaws.

They are going to HAWAII. Do they stay with you? if so they are getting a super cheap Hawaiian vacation: They are saving thousands of dollars, it is like the expensive dress/handbag that's on sale for 75% off. It is too good of a deal to stay home.

If it was me, I'd pull every guilt trip, bribe, necessary to avoid having to go to Texas, ugh.

Only 2 of our 3 have been here. Son actually lived on Big Island for a year. Before we moved, we took a family vacation to the Islands and the kids seemed somewhat "nonplused" for whatever reason. Anyway, the welcome mat is out for them when they decide they want to come.

The "thing" in TX is son in law will be honored next year and daughter really wants us there. We'll probably do it, assuming we are healthy. YMMV

 

[music-and-ski]

Your basic warmer weather locations (Arizona, Florida, etc). (Actually, If I could waive a magic wand, I would probably pick living in an upscale ski resort town in Colorado - I know this counters my previous sentence - but it would have to come with the money to afford the lifestyle which we don't have).

You probably know this, but skiing doesn't have to be expensive. You can often get your lift tickets by volunteering, and there's a lot of used gear for sale that's easy to find once you're living in a ski resort town. But, you did say "upscale ski resort", so you're probably not wanting to ski-bum it.

 

[vafoodie]

Western North Carolina--within spitting distance of Asheville where there are a million breweries and restaurants. While real estate has gone up, you can still find nice homes in some of the cute towns outside of Asheville. We bought a cabin here that we also VRBO. We only have one child, so eventually we'll probably move where she is as it's only an hour from where our main home is, but everyone loves to come to our WNC cabin.

 

[NW-Bound]

We are fortunate that our kids don't want to leave the area where they grew up.

It's me that has to refrain from moving out of town (to the NW).

 

[Luvtoride]

We are fortunate that our kids don't want to leave the area where they grew up.

It's me that has to refrain from moving out of town (to the NW).

[emoji1787] c’mon, you really don’t want to leave them (and grandkids presumably now or in the future), do you?