8 months in and struggling

[Irishgirlyc58]

I’ve been retired for almost 9 months. I did take another job for a few months but that wasn’t due to boredom. The money offered was great and I was hesitant to turn it down. I saw the error of my decision pretty quickly and with some sage advice from the good people here I quit. I’m not sorry about that or retiring.
The spring and summer months were busy but I’m sort of floundering now. I have a lot I could be doing but I struggle with getting anything done. I’m not a person that needs a lot of structure but maybe just a little.
As someone suggested going to the gym etc. It’s really about what you would like to do with your time.
I just assume that this is an adjustment period and I will eventually find my groove.
I hope you do as well.

 

[11522914]

Quit trying to find a “purpose” and you’ll be fine. Retirement is not about purpose. It’s about enjoyment.

Been retired for over 3 1/2 years and what I've learned is exactly what Ronstar said. I found that I have no problem being able to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Nothing for me sleeping until I get up, make coffee, exercise, eat a nice breakfast or lunch, take a nap, play some multiplayer video games, eat a healthy dinner, watch a movie with my also retired wife, go to bed and read.

Next day, repeat for the most part. Basically I just do what I want to do with no stress about having to do anything. Won't work for most people, works great for me. Only stress I had was when I was near the end of my day trading routine. No more of that craziness.

It will fall into place for you, just don't force it.

 

[2HOTinPHX]

Well, you can always go back to work eh? It's that's what makes you happy, do that.

Now that's just crazy talk.. LOL

Typing this on a work break ready to Explode...OP you haven't been Fire long enough you gotta remember multi-multi tasking. Putting out fires... dealing with everyone's mess ups, hurry up and wait for replies. Being pulled in 10000 directions. Not enough hours in the day to keep up with everything. Bosses with no clue what's actually involved in what they expect you to do. Boss suggest well maybe we need to streamline the process... RIGHT...argggg.

I can't wait to be in your shoes.
Please enjoy for me.... hopefully I will join you at end of the year if they don't kill me first

Maybe Robbie needs a ship crew mate?

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Been retired for over 3 1/2 years and what I've learned is exactly what Ronstar said. I found that I have no problem being able to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Nothing for me sleeping until I get up, make coffee, exercise, eat a nice breakfast or lunch, take a nap, play some multiplayer video games, eat a healthy dinner, watch a movie with my also retired wife, go to bed and read.

Next day, repeat for the most part. Basically I just do what I want to do with no stress about having to do anything. Won't work for most people, works great for me. Only stress I had was when I was near the end of my day trading routine. No more of that craziness.

It will fall into place for you, just don't force it.

+1. One of my retired friends and I laugh about how we can just happily putter the day away with online forums and routine tasks at home, get nothing significant done and not be bored.


I do keep an event list of fun stuff to do and pencil things in on the calendar. Sometimes to get deals I have to buy advance tickets. But other than that, I'll plan some fun events and sometimes we do them and sometimes we feel more like staying home and relaxing.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

tmichell, Brian Tracy has an exercise where you imagine your perfect day / life. Do you know what that would be for you? We joined hobby / social clubs to replace the socialization that was sort of built in before with working and raising kids and all their sports and activities. That is where we made friends that were retired or at least semi-retired and free on weekdays, plus the clubs have ongoing activities. I also find it helps to plan fun events, like museum and aquarium visits, concerts, live theater, etc. which we often do with the friends we made from our club activities. I remember when we were first off one day we saw a really cool exhibit at The Asian Art Museum in SF and another went to an aquarium and took a rocket boat ride on the bay - both on week days. It just felt really amazing to be going home along with the commuters on the train knowing we had a fun day out and we didn't have to part of that daily grind anymore.

 

[cyber888]

Been retired for over 3 1/2 years and what I've learned is exactly what Ronstar said. I found that I have no problem being able to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Nothing for me sleeping until I get up, make coffee, exercise, eat a nice breakfast or lunch, take a nap, play some multiplayer video games, eat a healthy dinner, watch a movie with my also retired wife, go to bed and read.

Next day, repeat for the most part. Basically I just do what I want to do with no stress about having to do anything. Won't work for most people, works great for me. Only stress I had was when I was near the end of my day trading routine. No more of that craziness.

It will fall into place for you, just don't force it.

That's the retirement I envision.

 

[INTJ10]

We are doing the Great Loop in a small trawler. It gives us a goal (to finish) and takes all of our time. It has been a challenge and sometimes we are pushed a little outside our comfort zones but it is far
from boring. Maybe it would help the OP to find a challenge/ goal to work towards to besides going back to w**k.

 

[RobbieB]

Now that's just crazy talk.. LOL

I can't wait to be in your shoes.
Please enjoy for me.... hopefully I will join you at end of the year if they don't kill me first

Maybe Robbie needs a ship crew mate?

Hehe, yeah, I know. But hey some people are just not cut out for retirement. Miss the daily grind, the scheduled life. Look forward to the alarm clock going off. I dunno and that's the truth. I just can't imagine it.

So when folks post up they miss work, they're bored, don't know what to do, feel unfulfilled...

I tell 'em "go back to work"

If you were happier working than retired, go back to work.

 

[captain3d]

Four years in and sometimes I wake up and think “Oh no not this again” Groundhog Day.

I don’t have any answers. Just wanted to join in. I sometimes wonder if the impending financial meltdown will at least give some problems to solve again.

 

[COcheesehead]

First off dial in your finances to get that worry off your mind. A reasonably secure income source whether it be a bond ladder, a rental, a pension helps. Google sequence of return risk and its solutions. Fixed income options now are phenomenal and getting better, but they won’t last forever.
Second, get a job, a fun job, a job you always wanted if money did not matter. I work at a winery 6-10 days a month. It’s the most fun I have ever had working and I put $15,000+ in my pocket to blow.

 

[F.I.R.E User]

What age did you FIRE?

 

[Ronstar]

I have several friends who went back to work part time. They fall into 2 groups. Those who missed the social interaction of the workplace. And those who missed feeling as important as during their working years.

Introverts can easily handle the solitude that retirement sometimes gives. But I think it’s tough for some to give up the feeling of being important or sense of purpose that work provides.

 

[Koolau]

My dad hated retirement and was looking for a j*b until the last couple of years of his life.

I never had a moment's second thought about retirement (17 years ago). I'm not always busy or fulfilled in retirement, but never wanted to go back to the grind. YMMV

 

[JBTX]

Hey all. I’m 8 months beyond my job and struggling a bit. I know so many of you are deeply satisfied with early retirement, but I’m having difficulty finding my way to the "new normal."

I heard the advice to “retire to something” and I admit I didn’t do that. I just had to get off the hamster wheel before I broke. My employer was of no help when I brought it to their attention. I also felt I had done all I could in that career so I don't have any regrets about moving on.

Over the past few months I’ve kept myself busy with lots of extra travel (which is a pretty costly way to avoid boredom!), studying a foreign language, reading a lot, and exercising daily. Additionally I've been experimenting with a number of projects like teaching/mentoring and starting a new business, but so far those haven’t lit me up as being a new "purpose." I don't have kids, so there's no family social net to keep me busy. All of my friends are still working, and most have kids, so my social diary is a bit thin during the week as well. My partner still works, but from home so we are able to share plenty of good times.

I do feel a little worried about retiring into a down market, so maybe it's nerves? My numbers are still holding fine despite the current choppiness. I try not to look.

I worked really hard to get to FI, which included a ton of OT over a couple of decades in a dynamic career. Maybe I just don't have the personality for FIRE? I remember listening to the MadFientist and he struggled for a couple of years before he found his footing, so maybe this is just par for the course?

One last thing: I have some voices in my head pointing me right back to work as a solution. I’m fighting that because I know it’s what’s most familiar to me, but I’m not sure how long I can deal with this in-between phase.

Have any of you gone through this?

Within financial forums, in terms of what people say, it seems like 90% say retirement is great. Get outside of forums, the real world, articles you read elsewhere it seems much more mixed. Perhaps those in financial forums are better prepared, or perhaps it is the Facebook phenomenon where if you go by the news feed all of your friends lead extraordinarily fulfulling lives and everything is great 24 x 7.

If there is not something that you specifically want to do, and you enjoy work, why not work? The beauty is if you don’t like it you can quit. You are in complete control. I see some professionals who I know make pretty healthy earnings but they work up until 70. Presumably they like what they do and enjoy the socialization, and getting paid for it is a bonus.

 

[street]

One thing I thought about through at least my last 10 years was. I never wanted to be the oldest person working for the company.

That was a motivator for me early on to make sure that never happened. I got people I started out working with 40 years old still working at the same place I did. They are making a lot of money and their pensions must be huge. I know them well enough to say, that they just can't give up that title and authority. Good for them if they are happy and need that to be happy stay working is what they need to do.

The two I'm talking about would have a hard time adjusting to getting themselves motivated to a new start in life without structure they had in the workplace.

 

[Koolau]

One thing I thought about through at least my last 10 years was. I never wanted to be the oldest person working for the company.

That was a motivator for me early on to make sure that never happened. I got people I started out working with 40 years old still working at the same place I did. They are making a lot of money and their pensions must be huge. I know them well enough to say, that they just can't give up that title and authority. Good for them if they are happy and need that to be happy stay working is what they need to do.

The two I'm talking about would have a hard time adjusting to getting themselves motivated to a new start in life without structure they had in the workplace.

Recently ran into a guy I used to w*rk with - still at megacorp. He's been there 50 years!! That's just sad. He told me years ago that that was his plan. He had 3 wives (not at the same time) and I don't know how many kids he was supporting. He also loved his toys, so w*rking was his life. I couldn't live like that but YMMV.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I was retired at 58 and within 7 months was offered a job teaching a online college class which was a new career for me. I also did some consulting in human services my old job. That dried up after 5 years and teaching lasted one more year. I would still be doing it if I could. I sometimes have trouble filling my days so belong to 5 online forums. I walk my dogs, help friends that need it, see my kids, spend time with other friends, on the hoa board and read. I also belong to a meetup group.

 

[Romer]

Getting a dog solves all the boredom and "having no purpose" issues. Ask me how I know.

I agree. Dogs keep me going. They always listen, come by to check on me and fun to hang out with. Picture below is there way of saying "come on old man get off the couch and play with us"

I worked a high pressure job for years where I was always multi-tasking to solve problems for the large programs I managed. I thought I would have a hard time with retirement (6 months now), but I haven't. Sure there are times I get bored, but I then think of stuff I could do. Like I have been researching Heat Pumps and dual fuel HVAC systems so I can make an educated purchase next year. I have a 50 year old Land Cruiser (avatar) I play with.

Lots of youtube videos to figure out how to do things or projects. Is there an Old car you always wanted? Learning while working on it can be fun and challenging.

On my 50 year old vehicle. I was having some issues with the fuel system and I had paid someone to install it. It just wasn't right so I spent time learning about fuel systems, my specific components and figured out they made a mistake in their install which I then corrected. The point here is there is something you are wondering about, or is annoying you or you want to know how something works, you can stretch yourself to do that.

Volunteer is good suggestion.

My wife talked me into buying a Kindle and you can download books from the library when ever you want them. I started reading a lot

A lot of things are about routine. Everyday I get up
Have my coffee while reading the Wall Streat Journal and local paper (on line). I then take the dogs on walk to the local Dog Park. From my front door that is a 4 mile roundtrip daily.

I try and do something inside or outside for at least an hour for maintenance, improvement or to just make sure they are working well. Some times these turn into multi day projects

I spend some time surfing the Internet or watching stuff on TV

My wife and I go to a movie, lunch or shopping. Doing this during the week is awesome with no crowds

I visit my kids, or other family or friends

I read my Kindle for an hour or two

Sometimes I sit in the chair in my study staring out the window thinking I am bored. There are things I could do I(advantage being a homeowner), but then I think about what a privilege it is to be bored and that I could choose to do something else if I wanted to. My choice to be bored or not. Not sure that makes sense, but knowing it is my choice to be bored makes it relaxing and then I choose to go do something else when I dont want to be bored anymore

 

[FreeBear]

We are doing the Great Loop in a small trawler. It gives us a goal (to finish) and takes all of our time. It has been a challenge and sometimes we are pushed a little outside our comfort zones but it is far
from boring. Maybe it would help the OP to find a challenge/ goal to work towards to besides going back to w**k.

Very cool! Years before retiring, I dreamed of a 30 footish cruising sailboat or trawler. Shhhh... Don't tell DW! Fortunately, I got easily seasick going below on my buddy's sailboat, even dockside. Bought a motorhome instead 7 years into retirement. Oh, also moved 2000 miles away where we don't know anyone. We take most RV trips to find water, ocean or lake. An RV is as bad as a second single family home in terms of coast and time. And trips don't plan themselves; it's work with the heavy competition for good campsites. Don't have time to work, besides I often work harder now than I did working! Maybe not as many hours, but get tons done!

 

[luckydude]

I retired at 47 back in 2015 and the last 7 years have been absolutely heavenly. I have plenty of hobbies and activities to entertain me and keep me busy, and I can't imagine being bored or ever wanting to go back to work. I have all the time and money I'll ever need to enjoy life that way I want, and it just doesn't get better than this. Life is great!

 

[sturbridge]

I'm 3 years in, and still struggling from time to time. I have plenty of things to "keep busy" but not enough activities where I get the sense of accomplishment that I need. I also in need of local friends to do spontaneous things with. A number of acquaintances, just not friends (yet). I've never had a big circle of friends, and am a little socially awkward so I assume this will take some time. I just took a "Women in Transition" seminar this week, and they introduced the William Bridges transition model which was helpful. I started off retirement with high hopes and tried everything that came my way, then the pandemic hit and things in my area have only been back to normal since this spring. I am reminding myself to be patient.

 

[Dtail]

I'm 3 years in, and still struggling from time to time. I have plenty of things to "keep busy" but not enough activities where I get the sense of accomplishment that I need. I also in need of local friends to do spontaneous things with. A number of acquaintances, just not friends (yet). I've never had a big circle of friends, and am a little socially awkward so I assume this will take some time. I just took a "Women in Transition" seminar this week, and they introduced the William Bridges transition model which was helpful. I started off retirement with high hopes and tried everything that came my way, then the pandemic hit and things in my area have only been back to normal since this spring. I am reminding myself to be patient.

Where does exercise or leisurely sports fit into schedule?

 

[tmitchell]

What age did you FIRE?

54, now 55.

 

[sturbridge]

Where does exercise or leisurely sports fit into schedule?

Every morning for at least an hour- treadmill, rower, stationery bike, weights. I've been doing that routine for 25+ years in my basement. Also do yoga once a week in a group setting and occasional hikes.

 

[EastWest Gal]

In my copious reading, I came across the idea that work and life satisfaction comes from solving the particular problems we enjoy solving. And it doesn’t have to be altruistic. I was jealous of the playing opportunities of other local flutists who have been in the community far longer than my 20 years here. So I created my own performance group.

The group has led to many positive social connections and it has been a learning process moving to incorporating as a nonprofit organization.

A local community theater needs to replace their HVAC unit, which they cannot afford. We are donating the funds for this, and the treasurer for the theater, who directs their plays, works as the activities coordinator for a large CCRC. This connection will give our flute group a paid performance opportunity on a regular basis at the CCRC.

If you like being outdoors, look for a local nature conservancy. Help with trail maintenance and participate in some of their programs. If you like theater, volunteer as an usher at a community theater and see plays for free. Or help build sets. If you like classical music, usher for a local orchestra. Several retiree friends do that.

Working was a means to making a living. Everything else is making a life. It doesn’t have to be one purpose, one thing.