7 and 10 Year olds attend Funeral?

[Wishing]

I lost my favorite grandmother when I was in that age range. My parents though it was best to shelter me and did not let me go to the funeral. Same thing when my grandfather died. I don't think that they did me any favors - I should have been exposed to death and dying. I know they did it because I was a "sensitive" child and cried at the drop of a hat, but that hasn't changed now that I'm 63 - still cry easily which I think is perfectly OK.

 

[Joylush]

My twins attended their grandfathers funeral when they were 9. No issues. They felt honored to be treated with trust and the maturity to handle it which they did well. I think they would have missed out not being able to say goodbye. Their cousins of similar ages were not permitted to attend as their parents didn’t think they could handle it. I do believe those cousins resented that in the end. Kids can handle more than you think if we trust them enough to give them the opportunity. But I wouldn’t force them to attend.

 

[papaof2]

When my mother died, her granddaughters were 2 and 6. Our daughter did a simple explanation for the 6-year-old and she did fine. That very much depends on the child, so the decision should be made by those who know them best. The 2-year-old wasn't included in the service.

I see no problem with most 10-year-olds attending a funeral but that may also depend on the child and their relationship to the deceased.

 

[imnontrad]

I think there are several factors -
1) how close they were to the person
2) if they ask/make the decision to attend
and
3) if the funeral is a memorial service (my grandkids went to my mother's service), closed casket or open casket. And if open casket, if the parents prepare them for the funeral/showing.

 

[Caskem]

Story on that…my grandma died and we were headed up to the viewing and funeral. Our daughter was about five and I had spent a lot of time with grandma. We were agonizing on the five hour trip how we should handle this with our little one.

Well, we got there and went into the funeral home lobby. Our daughter took off like a shot to the open casket, climbed on the kneeler, put her hand on grandma’s cheek and yelled “she’s COLD!”

That was the extent of her “trauma” and she never had a problem with funerals since.

Death is a natural part of life. Kids are resilient.

 

[imnontrad]

For my mother's funeral, having the great grandkids there (newborn to 9 years old) gave them a chance to meet relatives they would not ordinarily see, provide a distraction, something else to talk about and some levity. My 3 YO grandson was sound asleep throughout the whole funeral and I held him on my lap. He unknowingly provided not only a distraction for me but some levity every time he snored. My mother would have loved it.

 

[iRent2u]

Funeral

We all must face the realities of life. Sooner the better. I know too many adults who have a hard time facing death. It is a reality.