Am I crazy for wanting cosmetic surgery?

FLSUnFIRE said:
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I don't look down on anyone because of their height (but then I'm not super tall at the old male average of 5'8" -I think it's crept up a bit) and doubt anyone looks "down" on you in the negative sense. The only realm I think it might matter is in dating. For me, being on the market, there are a lot of women out there looking for taller men -even if they are shorter than I am. Every once in a while a taller friend will josh me about my height and I just point out that I rarely bump my head and I fit comfortably in sports cars!
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Even dating, you need to find a single partner. Maybe two if one passes before you or you suffer a divorce. Given modern dating technologies, it’s never been easier to find a partner who is almost certainly already aware of your various physical attributes prior to even meeting. OP already had a partner though, so this isn’t even a concern.
 
Sue J said:
Just curious, would the 2 inches of new bone be as strong as the 50 year old bones that it's holding together? Or stronger? What are the extra risks in a fall or a front end car accident?

About height-ism - I have female acquaintance who is 5'10". Her first criteria for a date is he has to be at least 6' tall. I find this very shallow. Maybe her perfect soulmate is 5'8". She'll never know! She is single at age 45.
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+1, she is caving to her primitive instincts, which is in turn going to work against her by dramatically limiting her pool of potential partners. Not a good strategy IMO. Never mind physical attraction tends not to be the thing which keeps partners together for long periods of time… maybe lights the flame, but can’t sustain it.
 
Sojourner said:
True, but OP is 50 years old and already married. One would think (and hope) that a fully grown, married, settled man entering the mid/later stages of life would not be preoccupied with how others perceive his somewhat below-average height. I think that if OP does go ahead with the surgery, he will find that being 2" taller only gives him a temporary boost in happiness and life-satisfaction. He will discover that height is a pretty minor factor in the grand scheme of things that make up a happy (or unhappy) life, IMHO.
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Oh, I agree with you about the OP. One of the great things about getting older is I don't care about fashion, what's in or not, don't care that I've lost most of my hair, etc. It's quite freeing.
But i was just responding generally to the statement that "nobody" cares about your height. Unfortunately, that's not true.
 
My grandparents were both 5ft. My grandpa was a wonderful person that never expressed any problems with being short. He fought in WW1. I was 5’7 by the time I was 12. My mom’s side was short and my dad’s tall. I would never have unnecessary surgeries. Quality of life is too important.
 
Aerides said:
I think the thread framing is telling - this is not remotely what anyone would consider "cosmetic" surgery. This is major surgery. Even if all goes well it would upend your life considerably for a year, and being over 50, recovery will be worse than any cases you read about.
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The one guy in the link provided was having his final surgery 5 years aftyer the first!
 
Sue J said:
About height-ism - I have female acquaintance who is 5'10". Her first criteria for a date is he has to be at least 6' tall. I find this very shallow. Maybe her perfect soulmate is 5'8". She'll never know! She is single at age 45.
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I don't think it's shallow. We all like what we like. Certain body types or other physical attributes just aren't attractive to everyone.
 
pb4uski said:
And why would any guy, short or not, be interested in a woman that shallow?

My aunt was over 6" taller than my uncle... and she is a gem.
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I don't consider it shallow. She likes what she likes. Lots of people wouldn't date an extremely obese person, or an extremely skinny one for that matter.
 
That seems like a lot of effort for two inches. Will 2” even make a difference? If you are going from 5’ to 5’2”, you will still be shorter than most other men (and many women). If going from 5’7” to 5’9”, you still wouldn’t be considered tall.
 
I'm a 5'3" woman, and always wore 4" heels for the workplace and fashion (pre-retirement). And I can understand why a woman might prefer a man taller than her. I do. If that makes me shallow, so be it. Some prefer blonds vs. brunettes, curvy vs. skinny. Brawny vs. lean. I'm sure there are plenty of shorter men who would never date a particularly tall woman. Or one with wider hips or a flat chest.

I'm know there are many men who would not look twice my way, and rule me out based on any one of my stats. Shallow is a harsh way of saying we all have preferences, but not all preferences are character flaws.
 
Much like the men who insist they will not accept an "average-looking" woman. When they, themselves, are average-looking!

Sue J said:
About height-ism - I have female acquaintance who is 5'10". Her first criteria for a date is he has to be at least 6' tall. I find this very shallow. Maybe her perfect soulmate is 5'8". She'll never know!
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Apropos: I just have to share this wonderful take, from "The Full Monty," on the whole lookism thing:

 
Tom Cruise is 5'7". Keith Urban is 5'8". Nicole Kidman is 5'9". I imagine she'd be over 6'2"+ with her heels on.
 
Yeah, people are shallow, we're all shallow...until we meet someone who clicks with us despite that they don't fit our physical criteria. That's one bad thing about narrowing down your criteria too much. As someone said here, you may be eliminating your soulmate.

But the OP wants to do this for himself. Nothing to do with finding a mate as the OP already has a spouse...
 
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I am obsessed with the psychology of happiness- have read at least a dozen books on the subject. (My husband thinks this is hilarious as I'm a pretty happy person). One of them talked about the illusion that "you'll be happier when..." Whatever happens. The example used was that most people were not happier after cosmetic surgery. If you're interested I'll see if I can find the book for you. I wouldn't risk my health for it.

FYI I am five feet tall. Anybody shallow enough to judge your worth on your appearance isn't friend material anyway.
 
ugeauxgirl said:
I am obsessed with the psychology of happiness- have read at least a dozen books on the subject. (My husband thinks this is hilarious as I'm a pretty happy person). One of them talked about the illusion that "you'll be happier when..." Whatever happens. The example used was that most people were not happier after cosmetic surgery. If you're interested I'll see if I can find the book for you. I wouldn't risk my health for it.

FYI I am five feet tall. Anybody shallow enough to judge your worth on your appearance isn't friend material anyway.
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I have a friend who got her breasts augmented. She was happy, really happy at least for a while. She actually showed her breasts to all her female friends (although we didn't want to see it!) She was in her late 30s when she got it done. She evidently had small breasts and they got smaller after nursing her two children. I think her bigger breasts made her feel more confident as a woman as she was divorced and dating. In her 50's, she was regretting ever getting it done. Maybe she started regretting it way before she was in her 50s; I don't know. She was like, 'They're not real and they don't feel real." When she was in her 60s she said they sagged a lot due to the weight, as your skin thins as you get older, I guess.
 
I second the view that bone healing will be significantly slower at age fifty than in a younger person. The risk of non-healing will also be significantly greater.

Although your bones will be lengthened, your muscles and tendons will not. Your legs will be tight and stiff. What about your Achilles’ tendons? Will they be more prone to rupture?

I fear this may reduce your quality of life for many years, rather than enhance it. Be sure you understand the potential risks, particularly for an older person.
 
People have risks of death during even simple.surgeries. I'll pass. I was conscious about wearing glasses in my youth only because kids would make fun of me. Kids are evil and mean. I now have more worth than most of those knuckleheads...including self worth. I stopped wearing contacts 2 years ago and now that I am 40 I care less and realize people don't like me for my appearance. I still have old female friends flirt with me even with my glasses on.
 
garyt said:
I don't consider it shallow. She likes what she likes. Lots of people wouldn't date an extremely obese person, or an extremely skinny one for that matter.
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Well I do and I think that many people would consider it shallow so we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.
 
tmm99 said:
I have a friend who got her breasts augmented.
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That goes both ways. DW was originally "full-figured" and they eventually became a nuisance. She got breast reduction surgery about ten years ago and has been absolutely delighted with the result.
 
I think if it helps your confidence and happiness, and you can afford it, it’s probably worth it to you. I was always terribly self conscious about the fact I was so near sighted that I had to wear those coke bottle style glasses. After cataract surgery, I no longer need glasses, except to read. It has made a huge difference in my life and happiness. I would have paid thousands to have it done, had the insurance not paid.
 
6 ft tall here, but mainly care about it for sports playing.
I think as one ages, there is less emphasis on height.
 
braumeister said:
That goes both ways. DW was originally "full-figured" and they eventually became a nuisance. She got breast reduction surgery about ten years ago and has been absolutely delighted with the result.
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My big-breasted friends tell me those things they carry on their chest are quite heavy and cause shoulder pains, etc.
 
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Dtail said:
6 ft tall here, but mainly care about it for sports playing.
I think as one ages, there is less emphasis on height.
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Exactly, at 78, I'm thrilled to be here and at 5' 10" instead of 5' 11" previously.

Believe me, there is a lot more to worry about than height after one gets past 70. :D
 
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