And now for something completely different

[rk911]

It was a dark and stormy night.

 

[Marita40]

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

 

[Chuckanut]

Little did he know that as he stepped off the airplane in Konya, his world had changed forever.

 

[jollystomper]

Upon opening his door, two items of wonder came to Herschel's mind: why is she naked, and why is the severed head in her hands wearing a Detroit Lions helmet...

 

[DrRoy]

It was a dark and stormy night.

+1

 

[MichaelB]

As he breathed his final breaths, the light was fading from his eyes, he reached up, touched his wife’s head gently, pulled her closer to him, and said


“we should have done more Roth conversions and not paid off the mortgage”

 

[jimbee]

As he breathed his final breaths, the light was fading from his eyes, he reached up, touched his wife’s head gently, pulled her closer to him, and said


“we should have done more Roth conversions and not paid off the mortgage”

That's all fine, but when did they take Social Security? is that in the sequel?

 

[armor99]

When I was a little boy, I dreamed of being a magician. I was amazed with how the wave of a hand could cause something wondrous to occur. And now with the flip of a switch, an unseen force does my bidding. And I wonder if perhaps that childhood dream has been realized. Deny the ordinary, achieve the extraordinary!

 

[Lewis Clark]

McAndrews fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Now there is an interesting visual image ....

 

[W2R]

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.

Oops! Already been used. Oh well, at least I know it got me to read that particular book.

 

[PointBreeze]

Annie's head was spinning and she was gasping a bit for breath - it had worked! She had finally flown. Of course, she only flew from the porch to the lowest limb of the gingko tree in the front yard (barely 12 feet), but still...

 

[CRLLS]

What Bill's co-worker’s didn’t know was that moments before the impromptu company meeting was called, Bill had been in HR turning in his retirement notice. What Bill didn’t know was the meeting was about to turn the employees lives around forever, and not for the better.

 

[CTRetiree]

Busy removing a stray javelin from the teenager's torso, medical examiner Liz Rodgers reflected on her life choices. On the one hand, her job could be gruesome and fill her with sadness for young lives cut short. On the other hand, free javelins!

(stolen from an episode of Law & Order)

 

[gooddog]

Got to read it aloud and fast....

Ten fig pluckers plucking figs, I'm neither a fig plucker nor a fig pluckers son, but I shall pluck figs until the fig plucker comes.

 

[michael274]

As the rain storm raged on, his face lit only with candlelight, unable to breathe, he stared intently at her awaiting her answer…conversions to 24% this year?

Ok, run on sentence, but had you going for a minute there, huh?

 

[ejman]

He looked down in horror as he realized he could no longer see it.

 

[boont]

Inside The Star Wars Empire: A Memoir

"It is May 1982 and I am in George Lucas's editing room with a small group of production people and George is telling me how he wants the Space Battle in 'Return of the Jedi' to be done as I have been hired as the visual effects editor for this sequence."

Roman & Littlefield published my book in 2018 after I retired early.

 

[splitwdw]

He could feel the life flow out of his body as the coyotes chewed on his side. Did he hear someone calling his name in the distance?

 

[deserat]

"It is May 1982 and I am in George Lucas's editing room with a small group of production people and George is telling me how he wants the Space Battle in 'Return of the Jedi' to be done as I have been hired as the visual effects editor for this sequence."

Roman & Littlefield published my book in 2018 after I retired early.

Oh my - that is cool. Did not know we had someone who had worked so extensively in that field on this board/in this community. Congrats on an interesting work life and retiring early! I lived in that area for ~14 years, but worked in healthcare - the other behemoth, Kaiser . Very different stories and experiences.

 

[TXBev]

Playing hours with my grandmother's slot machine not understanding the history. (true)

 

[ncbill]

He looked down in horror as he realized he could no longer see it.

"So, as he stood in front of the toilet, he resolved it was high time to start losing weight.

At least until he could see it again."

 

[kumquat]

Elmer Gantry was drunk.