And They Ask Why I Like Retirement

[Disappointed]

A friend who has retired for four years sent me the post below.

And they ask---Why I Like Retirement

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break or a permanent vacation.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer : If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

Share this one with all the retirees that you know.

I'm sure they can relate to some of them!

AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination,
There is no better time to be happy than... NOW

 

[audreyh1]

cute list!

 

[freebird5825]

My fave is the "tied shoes".
I wear leather loafers all day unless I go mobile or outside. Sneakers are a huge upgrade for footwear for those expeditions.

 

[oma]

I liked the bedtime: 3 hrs after falling asleep on the couch.


-------------------------------------------------------
BTW, my retired neighbor is in PJs all day. Is that a norm for retirement?

I try to at least shave, clean up, dress properly at least by 10 a.m. -

 

[Goonie]

My fave is:

What do you do all week?

Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

Hey, doin' nothing really tuckers me out!

 

[RASAP]

The only problem I see with retirement: You never get a day off.

 

[audreyh1]

The only problem I see with retirement: You never get a day off.

Good one!

I'm so exhausted!

Audrey

 

[73ss454]

We must have the same friend as I also received the same email. (heh)

 

[CuppaJoe]

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?

Because there's nothing else on the to-do list. This one really caught my attention because I don't have a basement, attic or garage but I do have closets that could use maintenance... someday, like when RichInTampa fully retires. No rush, no deadlines.

 

[W2R]

My fave is:

What do you do all week?

Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

Hey, doin' nothing really tuckers me out!

That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.

 

[freebird5825]

That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.

3rd month? My, my, how time flies.

I understand the "feeling". It does go away.

 

[easysurfer]

Funny list. My fav is this one:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

For me I qualify the answer with. I don't know what it is I need to get done, but I know it was something.

 

[oma]

That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.

Major guilt feelings here - 46 yr olds aren't supposed to retire. It takes getting used to. Trying to stop explaining my circumstance all the time to new people I meet.

 

[Notmuchlonger]

Will show it to my DW! She can pull the plug now yet she is one of those who loves their job. Oh well Ill keep being that little angle er angel on her shoulder...er or is it the devil

 

[Finance Dave]

Typical week as a retiree....

6 Saturdays, one Sunday



P.S. I have five years or so until rehirement