Bad service: What would you do?

[CO-guy]

Going out to eat is something I rarely do unless I'm traveling. However, when I do go out, I generally tip in the 20-25% range, or more for exceptionally good service.

Recently I stopped in to a sit-down burger place while traveling. It was barely after 11am, and I was please to be ahead of the lunch rush. A server came over right away, took my order, and brought me a glass of water. A few minutes later, I watched what looked like my burger go past my table and up to the bar, and then the lunch rush arrived. Soon the empty section I was sitting in was fully seated, and then people's food began arriving. The burger I thought had been mine was eventually brought back to the kitchen and was sitting under the heat lamps (open kitchen).

Eventually when the people next to me received their meals, I asked their server for assistance. They quickly got my server who asked me, "would you like anything else?" To which I replied, "My meal?" She then walked up, took the meal that had been floating around the restaurant for the past 45 minutes and brought it over. I commented immediately that the meal was cold and pointed out that the lettuce etc. had wilted from sitting under the lamp for the past 45 minutes. I was polite and said simply, "All I've had is water, let's just call it a miss." Her response was a very reasonable request to get the order right, to which I obliged, and a fresh (nearly correct) meal arrived quickly. She then stood at the table while I took a bite to make sure "this one's hot enough" and then handed me the check.

No apologies, no admission of a mistake, and so I left no tip. It was the first time I've left less than 20% in longer than I can remember. I eat a burger so rarely that it's not somewhere I ever need to go back to, but what would you do in this situation?

 

[Midpack]

I wouldn't have waited 45 minutes to ask - but I just wouldn't go back, and we go out for dinner 3 times a week. First world problem, not something to worry about, especially for someone who doesn't go out often.

 

[Walt34]

Well, one time I did leave a penny tip. That was just to let the waitress know that I hadn't forgotten the tip after she brought the iced teas and then waiting and being ignored for 45 minutes. We then paid for the tea and left.

In your case, I'd probably have left a 1950's 5% tip, similarly just to let her know I hadn't forgotten it. Like she did you.

 

[Qs Laptop]

I think you handled it perfectly.

I might have done something snide like write a note saying, "I looked for you for 45 minutes, now you can look for the tip."

 

[Car-Guy]

In such a case, I would not leave a tip. I've done it before and will likely do it again. OTOH, for exceptional service I'll leave an exceptional tip.

So while we are talking about tips (AGAIN) here's a short story about shared tips. As most of you folks know, I gamble,,,,, a lot. The way it works at most of the casinos when you tip a dealer, they drop the tip in a common/shared tip box located at each table. At the end of a shift they come around and dump all the tips in a bag then at some point count up the tips and divide them up equally for those on that shift. Some casino do it differently but in general they all get equal shares. NOW, the issue is some dealers are real A**H**** and can be downright nasty. Others are really friendly and make the game so much more fun. Often I end up not tipping the good/friendly dealers since I don't want the jerks to get a share... Hate to do it but I know that's the way it works in most casinos and I don't tip for any bad service. Unfortunate those who provide good customer services suffer because of those who don't.

 

[braumeister]

I wouldn't have waited 45 minutes to ask - but I just wouldn't go back, and we go out for dinner 3 times a week. First world problem, not something to worry about, especially for someone who doesn't go out often.

Yes, exactly. There is no way I would have waited so long, especially since I knew (or at least suspected) what had caused the delay. I would have simply gotten up and walked out after probably 15 minutes. If there were a manager about, I would also have had a brief chat before leaving.

 

[Chuckanut]

This is why I dislike tipping.

Perhaps the server was not very good.
Perhaps she was over worked because a fellow employee called in sick at the last minute.
Perhaps she also had to train a new server and was preoccupied with two sets of customers, hers and the new person's.
Perhaps she just wanted to have more time to sneak outside for a smoke and call her boyfriend.
Who knows? Her bosses should know. Not the customer.

It's management's job to evaluate her, not the customer's. Your problems are just another reason to eliminate tipping.

I probably would have spoke up earlier.

 

[Jerry1]

DW and I had a very bad experience many years ago. Since then, when we get the vibe that things aren’t going well, we get up and leave. I’ve done that about three times since. I’m not sure if it mattered to anyone, but at least me and DW didn’t need to go through the aggravation. So to answer your question, I would have left.

 

[GenXguy]

No apologies, no admission of a mistake, and so I left no tip. It was the first time I've left less than 20% in longer than I can remember. I eat a burger so rarely that it's not somewhere I ever need to go back to, but what would you do in this situation?

They went through the effort to give you a fresh meal and probably threw the old one away, and after all that, you stiffed the server. I would have tipped at least 20% if they had done that for me. I posted recently that a waitress forgot one of my sides, but she made up for it and then some by giving me two free desserts, so I tipped extra.

 

[Aerides]

Your server may not have been aware of the journey your plate took, but they should have apologized at some point. You didn't mention, but did it appear that they had food runners doing the delivery or the actual servers?
Even when it's a food runner, I expect my server to pop by soon after my meal arrives to check that all is ok - that didn't happen with you. Now, that's less common or needed at lunch, but still.

You got the meal you wanted in the end, but after aggro, and a long wait (which I would also not have endured - I'd have engaged a manager at some point or just left.

I'd probably still tip, but on the low side. I'd also point out the long wait and the issues and not expect the bill to arrive without some major discount.

 

[Texas Proud]

Another one who would not have waited that long... at times I look at others who have come in after me and if they got their meal before me I will speak up...

But I also agree.... no tip.. or you can do like my oldest sister... 1 penny... if you leave nothing they can think you do not tip at all.... if you leave a penny you have shown how much you think their service was worth...

 

[CO-guy]

I wouldn't have waited 45 minutes to ask - but I just wouldn't go back, and we go out for dinner 3 times a week. First world problem, not something to worry about, especially for someone who doesn't go out often.

Definitely a first world problem! Frankly, I wasn't paying attention to the time at first, but after the people next to me ordered, I checked my phone and realized it had been nearly 40 minutes since I texted my better half after sitting down.

I was a server and a bartender during and after college. At a busy place with food runners, it isn't hard to imagine that the ticket got lost in the shuffle and my server never checked back.

Had it been me serving, I would have told my manager that there was a mixup with the meal and had them speak with the guest. Instead, the server acted like I was being fussy. I did think about standing up and making a fuss, and I probably should have been more firm in declining the offer to re-make the meal, but such is life.

Also, FWIW, I went out the next day for sushi. Sat at the bar and chatted with the chef as well as the manager. The chef even brought me behind the bar to show off their fresh fish right after the courier delivery and gave me a sashimi sample. I was excited to go back again the next day, and it didn't disappoint the second time either. Exceptional service and an exceptional tip since my default is to add the cost of any freebies into the gratuity.

 

[rk911]

I would've spoken with the manager, expressed my disappointment and then walked out.

 

[GrayHare]

I'd have "checked on my meal" sooner unless I wanted to spend more time there. Feedback in the form of calm discussion is valuable to a business and employees.

 

[mystang52]

I also would not have waited that long. After a delay, I will ask for status. If that gets me nowhere, I leave (sometimes I will ask for the manager to tell ask for manager to tell him/her why I'm leaving).

 

[Dash man]

I would've spoken with the manager, expressed my disappointment and then walked out.

I agree with speaking to the manager. Problems don’t get fixed if they’re not made aware. And the fresh meal likely would have been comped.
I also believe in speaking to the manager for excellent service. I’ll never forget a waitress at Olive Garden who sat down next to DW’s 90yo step-mother and took the time to explain items on the menu she was confused about. She also received an excellent tip!

 

[CO-guy]

I agree with speaking to the manager. Problems don’t get fixed if they’re not made aware. And the fresh meal likely would have been comped.
I also believe in speaking to the manager for excellent service. I’ll never forget a waitress at Olive Garden who sat down next to DW’s 90yo step-mother and took the time to explain items on the menu she was confused about. She also received an excellent tip!

I really appreciate the broad perspective on the issue. It's exactly why I asked. IMO, everyone has bad days, so no need for me to make it any worse. Not that I disagree with the approach of speaking with the manager, I'm just not the person to say, "I'd like to speak with your manager."

Your post reminded me of what it was like caring for my own grandmother, before she was no longer able to live independently. People were so incredibly kind to her and went above and beyond their jobs to keep her safe. She carried a small handful of nickels that she used as tips for the doorman and security in her building, the bus driver to/from the senior center, etc. Every other month I would follow her around on her daily routine with a handful of $50s. At the care center, tipping wasn't permitted (for obvious reason), so I would give everyone the equivalent in Publix gift cards for groceries.

Also, FWIW, I've been a server at many restaurants, and chain places are the worst when it comes to comps. I've had a lot of managers tell me, "You're going to need to pay for that!" Only once did I ever have a manager dock my pay over a mistake, at Red Lobster. I worked there for 2 weeks and it was the worst. I was afraid to bartend there because everything was electronically poured and everything had to be billed. I can't remember what the comp tab was per shift, but it was barely enough to cover a single well drink.

 

[skipro33]

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but I didn't want to open a new thread and figured this fit with yours.

This reminds me of poor service I received recently at COSTCO last week. First, let me say I hate being treated as a potential criminal shoplifter, every time I leave a store where checking the receipt is mandated. I needed to rush into COSTCO and buy a kite for my grand daughter's birthday. I got it, went though self-checkout and got my receipt and headed for the door. Looked good: two staff there to check receipts and only one other person in front of me. By the time I got to the door, that guy should be on his way. But instead, the guy had some sort of problem and the checker flagged down another person because it was his break and didn't want to deal with his customer. The other person said he had something he had to do and they started arguing. The other checkout person saw me, and turned to the worker next to her who checks ID's coming into the store. I waited there maybe a minute, threw up my hands and said just loud enough for her to hear that I don't have time for this and headed out. She immediately turned to me, grabbed my arm and said I'm right here to check your receipt. I told her, no you weren't, you where bullchitting with the person who was SUPPOSED to be checking ID's of customers coming in. She told me she didn't have to put up with my language, to which I told her to then do your job and wouldn't need to adress her at all. Then I said then let go of my arm NOW. She snatched the receipt out of my hand, scribbled something on it, certainly didn't check what I was buying against the receipt and then tossed it at me. I continued to walk out and that was that.
I wonder; is every customer required to show their receipt and wait for the checker to pretend to compare the receipt with the cart of purchases in order to leave the store?

 

[SecondAttempt]

I think your response was perfect!

 

[iloveyoga]

DW and I had a very bad experience many years ago. Since then, when we get the vibe that things aren’t going well, we get up and leave. I’ve done that about three times since. I’m not sure if it mattered to anyone, but at least me and DW didn’t need to go through the aggravation. So to answer your question, I would have left.

This is our approach too. Especially if we come into a restaurant and are ignored right off the bat or have to wait for too long for drinks or to order. This is usually a bad omen. Coming from a former waitress.

 

[Badger]

Yes, exactly. There is no way I would have waited so long, especially since I knew (or at least suspected) what had caused the delay. I would have simply gotten up and walked out after probably 15 minutes. If there were a manager about, I would also have had a brief chat before leaving.

+1 Absolutely!

 

[latexman]

I wonder; is every customer required to show their receipt and wait for the checker to pretend to compare the receipt with the cart of purchases in order to leave the store?

At Costco, yeah. They catch more issues with their pricing system, than they do shoplifters.

 

[braumeister]

At Costco, yeah. They catch more issues with their pricing system, than they do shoplifters.

Their system also helps keep the checkers honest. I used to be annoyed by it but I when I learned that was one of the reasons I became more accepting of it.

 

[Qs Laptop]

I don't understand the advice to talk to the manager. CO-guy was traveling and was likely never going to return to this restaurant, no matter what.

 

[Lorenzo]

I don't understand the advice to talk to the manager. CO-guy was traveling and was likely never going to return to this restaurant, no matter what.

How would withholding a tip have any better effect on CO-guy's future service at that restaurant than speaking with the manager? In both cases, he's not coming back.

It's natural and expected that servers will make mistakes. If they make enough mistakes, and management is aware of the pattern, the server will get fired. In case of poor service I tip normally and let the manager know what happened. I might also leave an online review. If it was really bad, I won't return to the restaurant. I believe it's the restaurant's job to educate or discipline their servers in the same way as any employer does, not mine through withholding a tip. As I see it, in the US, that 15-20% is simply the portion of the total actual price that's not reflected in the menu price. In the US, it's supposedly optional to pay. In other countries, either the menu price reflects the actual price, or they list a "service" charge on the bill that is not optional.