Coming To Grips With Your Own Mortality

[Koolau]

I have a traditional belief in an after life. It's comforting to know that this isn't all there is. Having said that, the "transition" isn't something I've completely come to grips with. I think, more than anything, I fear the possible pain and other unpleasantness of the transition phase. Sometimes, there isn't enough morphine in the world to ease the pain - I know of too many examples. So, there's that. Still, my hope is simply to wake up in a better place some day.

I know I'm in the minority on this. Unfortunately, I won't be able to report back so YMMV.

 

[sheldon cornped]

Someone said "We are not humans having a spiritual experience. We are spirits having a human experience." I do believe there is an afterlife, just don't know what it looks or feels like.

 

[target2019]

One day only the remaining dust will recall your steps here.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I was raised religious but no longer believe. I think when we die we cease to exist and won’t know it. I have had many friends go from healthy to not quickly and die in their 60’s. The biggest thing I have observed is that your friends disappear when you get sick and I was one of the few that stayed until the end.

I am now on the journey again with a friend that I helped move into assisted living a year ago. His ex wife dumped him into a crappy group home and we helped him get out into a really nice place. She had taken all his CC’s, money, cell phone so he couldn’t help himself and he was born severely hearing impaired which also affects his speech. My other friend and I told the ex we were hiring a attorney and she could be charged with elder abuse and then she handed over his identification, cards, etc so he could access his money and choose where to live. He also has Parkinson’s, heart problems and other issues. I visit him weekly because he is a nice guy and needs his friends.

 

[H2ODude]

To each his/her own beliefs. Before I was born H2ODude had no conscious awareness, I certainly don't recall any preincarnation existence. I don't expect anything after this one. And that's OK. Tough to take in many ways, but that's just it for me.

 

[Silver]

Interesting thread.

I am not spiritual at all, and reject any organized religion. I am agnostic, and support anyone believing whatever they want as long it does not harm others, including animals.

That said, I am a believer that there is no afterlife in any form. When we die that is the end to anything we once were. And since it is our nature to die, I'm good with that.

 

[ls99]

To play on words, If I repent the end is near.
So far so god, in numbers of years outlived my mother, father, brother, wife. One day I will not be, just a body. That is all.

 

[W2R]

I am aware each day that death is one day sooner. I hope I can follow Dylan Thomas's suggestions about how to approach this grim eventuality:

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

[Sojourner]

I have a traditional belief in an after life. It's comforting to know that this isn't all there is. Having said that, the "transition" isn't something I've completely come to grips with. I think, more than anything, I fear the possible pain and other unpleasantness of the transition phase.

I find this to be one of the more odd things about religious beliefs in an afterlife. Why would anyone fear death (or the process of dying) if it leads to an eternity of perfect bliss and ecstasy? If I were such a believer, I certainly wouldn't fear death... quite the opposite. Having said that, I don't begrudge anyone their beliefs or feelings about death and the afterlife. These notions have confounded the mind of man since time immemorial.

 

[target2019]

Pascal's wager is a philosophical argument presented by the seventeenth-century French mathematician, philosopher, physicist and theologian Blaise Pascal (1623–1662).[1] It posits that human beings wager with their lives that God either exists or does not.

Pascal argues that a rational person should live as though God exists and seek to believe in God. If God does not exist, such a person will have only a finite loss (some pleasures, luxury, etc.), whereas if God does exist, he stands to receive infinite gains (as represented by eternity in Heaven) and avoid infinite losses (an eternity in Hell).

source:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_wager

YMMV, for sure.

 

[latexman]

I'm a worrier. When I think of my mortality, my first thoughts are, how will my wife and kids make it? Being the provider for so long has warped the way I think. Anyone else do that?

 

[CindyBlue]

Interesting topic. I don't think I deal with it well but my main focus is to live my life knowing that tomorrow is not a given. Frankly, I'm dealing with a big dose of that right now.

A few weeks ago back in June, I would have told you I was pretty healthy. Going about my business and doing fine. Since then, due to an odd/rare autoimmune issue, I have lost all kidney function and am on dialysis the rest of my life unless I get a transplant. Further, the treatment for the autoimmune issue is not a lot of fun plus the way they treat it is to shut down the immune system. All to say, my outlook of living to 90 like my father has now changed. So dealing with mortality is in the front of my mind these days, but it still boils down to one day at a time. I guess that's how I deal with it. Some days are better than others.

Jerry, I am so sorry to hear this! How quickly things change...sigh...
You are in my prayers for a transplant soon!

 

[mountainsoft]

I was raised religious but no longer believe. I think when we die we cease to exist and won’t know it.

I was raised Christian and am still a believer, but haven't attended church in many years and don't actively follow any religious practices. If God made me, he knows my nature and understands. I don't reject him(her?), so hopefully he won't reject me. I'm just trying to maintain a good father/son relationship.

Like most people, I "hope" I will transition to a better place when this life is done. At the same time, my analytical side says when I die that's it, I'm gone. So, as with most things, I hope for the best and plan for the worst. If I'm wrong and there is no afterlife, I won't know it. I'll be dead.

Either way, thanks to a few health scares over the last few years, I've been struggling with how little time I have left. My best achievements are probably behind me, though anything could happen. Mostly I try not to let my mortality overwhelm me. I think about it, make plans to enjoy the time I have left, and move on. That's about the best I can do.

 

[Midpack]

I'm a worrier. When I think of my mortality, my first thoughts are, how will my wife and kids make it? Being the provider for so long has warped the way I think. Anyone else do that?

Hopefully I’ll be the last to go between DW and I, and she’s had more health problems thank have so could be. And if not, she’ll have enough $ to hire peeps to do everything with advice from her sibs and their (select) kids if needed. We have a chosen niece in line if we outlive our executors, and she’s aware.

 

[Car-Guy]

I was raised religious but no longer believe.

I too was born in a somewhat religious home. Mom was a strong believer, Dad, not so much... I attended church regularly until my early teens and a number of things caused me to do a 180 and I lost all faith in the church. Since then I have only gone to church for weddings and funerals. However, over the years I have come grips with "why things are, the way they are" and finally found "like thinkers" and have since read a lot on the subject. Finally found what I feel answers so many of my questions.

I think when we die we cease to exist and won’t know it.

That of course is the big question. I have no idea.

 

[sheldon cornped]

Saw a funny birthday card while on vacation. It had a picture of a dinosaur on the front. Inside was written: Happy Birthday! One year closer to extinction.....

Now, who would give card to someone?

 

[Gumby]

I was raised Christian and am still a believer, but haven't attended church in many years and don't actively follow any religious practices. If God made me, he knows my nature and understands. I don't reject him(her?), so hopefully he won't reject me. I'm just trying to maintain a good father/son relationship. ...

Ever since I first read it, I have often thought of the prayer of Jacob Astley, 1st Baron Astley of Reading, Major General of the Royalist forces in the First English Civil War, immediately prior to leading his troops in the Battle of Edgehill (1642):

"O Lord! thou knowest how busy I must be this day: if I forget thee, do not thou forget me."

 

[easysurfer]

I find this to be one of the more odd things about religious beliefs in an afterlife. Why would anyone fear death (or the process of dying) if it leads to an eternity of perfect bliss and ecstasy? If I were such a believer, I certainly wouldn't fear death... quite the opposite. Having said that, I don't begrudge anyone their beliefs or feelings about death and the afterlife. These notions have confounded the mind of man since time immemorial.

I remember a quote from a program about aging. The quote went like "Everyone wants to get to heaven, but no one wants to get on the bus."

I also remember a Cardinal who had terminal cancer years back. He did look his eventual death as a journey. Yet when asked if he was a afraid she said something like "Darn sure I'm afraid".

 

[Car-Guy]

Saw a funny birthday card while on vacation. It had a picture of a dinosaur on the front. Inside was written: Happy Birthday! One year closer to extinction.....

Now, who would give card to someone?

Sounds exactly like the type of card I'd give someone (and others would expect from me.)

 

[MuirWannabe]

I do believe in Heaven and Hell. I believe in the Christian Triune God of the Christian Bible.
I know I’m of bad moral character compared to the standard of God’s moral perfection. I need only to examine myself against the ten commandments to see that I fail every one. From a legal perspective, if I’m guilty of breaking God’s law, he will punish me. If he is just. Which he is. So I’m doomed to Hell due to my own sin. However, in addition to being just, God is rich in mercy. He sent his son Jesus to live a perfect, without sin, life. And then to die on the cross to pay my penalty. So this dilemma between being just and being merciful is resolved through the work of Jesus on the cross. My fine is paid because of what Jesus did for me. Why? Because I trust in Jesus for my salvation and I repent of my sins and am spiritually reborn into living a life in obedience to God’s commands as best I can. Not because it’s required for entry into Heaven. But because of the gratitude for what Jesus has done for me. I’m very far from perfect on this side of Heaven. But I struggle on to live as God wants.

This knowledge of salvation provides great peace to me when considering my own mortality and what’s to come. Think I would be terrified otherwise.

 

[Pellice]

One of my top five novels, Thorton Wilder's "The Ides of March" gives a speech to Caesar:
"Each year I say farewell to the spring with a more intense passion, and every day I am more bent on harnessing the course of the Tiber, even though my successors may permit it to expend itself senselessly into the sea."

I understand the first part and I do also say farewell to each spring, each spring migration. But I have not mastered the second, the furthering of some great work.

 

[Beldar]

I could get killed in a car wreck the next time we go grocery shopping. So, I'm happy when I wake up in the morning.

One thing that sticks in my mind is from David Cassidy's obit a few years ago. As he was dying he remarked "So much wasted time!".

I can't get that out of my mind each day.

_B

 

[Bamaman]

I look back on my ancestors, and they were a pretty healthy bunch. Both grandfathers made it to age 88--despite a country diet and hard work. My mother made it to age 91 even though she should haven't made it past 75--smoker. An aunt made it to 99 3/4.

Unfortunately I inherited type II diabetes and watched my father, uncle and cousin go thru dialysis for 4 years before each threw a blood clot and pass on. But I've seen the writing on the wall and am taking care of myself better--with a CGM and insulin pump.

Going through life, I've run into so many people whose age was remarkably less than they looked. That especially goes for smokers who look 10+ years older than they are. I'm holding my own well at age 72, and continue to eat well and drink none.

I was talking to my sister last week after the loss of an old fraternity brother from our hometown. He was the last of 6 close friends, and none made it past 75. They just drank too much and didn't take care of themselves. One was the best general surgeon in town, and he died of colon cancer after never having a colonoscopy.

It seems just like yesterday when I held my father's hand when he passed 15 years ago. Flash forward 15 years for me and I'll be 87 and lucky to be around. It's time to grab all the gusto possible because we all just have X number of days on this earth. And only God knows how many days that is.

 

[Jeffman52]

You are given a number of years. You don't know how many but mostly under 90 and of course the more of them you use, the less days of buffer you have left. I get melancholy once is a while thinking about mortality... but its coming for us whether we like it or not. I choose to try to make my days left meaningful in some manner.


This discussion reminds me of an old Roy Clark Song "yesterday when I was young". Feel free to look it up. But for me that song is more a warning to not be selfish and realize life is short. But rather I prefer Pink Floyd's lyrics to "Time" which reminds us that the time does get away from us quickly but you cant chase time. Its going to outrun you.


Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.


So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

 

[rk911]

i'll be 72 in. a few weeks and so far i've outlived my dad (dead at 48). i have health issues that i try to take care of. my wife will be 71 in october and is relatively healthy but can't drive, can't use the internet and has a poor short term memory. no kids. my concern...obsessive concern...is how will she take care of herself if i pass first. it sometimes keeps me awake late into the night.