Contemplating when to get serious about CCRC?

[Palmtree]

My mom used to say "wish in one hand and pee in the other, and see which one fills first".

So many negative vibes. Growing up with rotary dial telephones, who among us would have thought that we would have the level of technology we personally have now. We can talk to small computers in our pocket and get global information immediately.



Have a little faith.

 

[Octogirl]

My mom, who was widowed, moved to a CCRC at age 80 and loved it. She was healthy and enjoyed the many social activities.
Fast forward to today - Still there, she is 93 years old, has several health problems and moved to the Assisted Living in November. Some of her friends live there too.
It s been a good experience for her and for us.
That said, there are chronic shortages of health care staff so it s not perfect.

For those who say they will hire home health to stay home, Good Luck
I know of several families who report trying this option and struggled with "no shows", inattentive aides, and personality conflicts.

 

[harllee]

My mom, who was widowed, moved to a CCRC at age 80 and loved it. She was healthy and enjoyed the many social activities.
Fast forward to today - Still there, she is 93 years old, has several health problems and moved to the Assisted Living in November. Some of her friends live there too.
It s been a good experience for her and for us.
That said, there are chronic shortages of health care staff so it s not perfect.

For those who say they will hire home health to stay home, Good Luck
I know of several families who report trying this option and struggled with "no shows", inattentive aides, and personality conflicts.

Similar to my mom's situation. She moved to her CCRC around age 80 and is now age 90, still living in an independent apartment and she loves it. She has made many friends and does all the activities. I am so glad she is there and not trying to live on her own. It gives me great peace of mind.

 

[Scuba]

Similar to my mom's situation. She moved to her CCRC around age 80 and is now age 90, still living in an independent apartment and she loves it. She has made many friends and does all the activities. I am so glad she is there and not trying to live on her own. It gives me great peace of mind.

The socialization is one of the great benefits of facility living. Seniors alone in their homes at an advanced age often get really lonely, especially if the spouse has passed.

 

[Pellice]

At 60, I hopefully have at least 20 years before I even have to think about this as family history says we will be self sufficient at least until mid 80's

You have a spouse, and a "we," which changes the dynamic some. But it's good to think of this before age 80. Too many people wait too long, not just in terms of health, but in terms of adaptability, transportation, and energy. It's unlikely that any of us will continue with the same levels of the above until age 80. Also, what really IS our family history? Few in my family (e.g. a grandmother of 94) accessed aged care facilities until basically their final illnesses, if then. But there weren't that many options. And they did have family living near them, often a female relative who was a homemaker and able to help with things. And the physical facts of life were simpler - you weren't completely stymied if your tech went bad, or online health access instructions were obscure (and they often are - I spent some minutes trying to scan a QR code I was instructed to scan upon arrival at my doctor's parking lot, finally gave up, went inside and was told, "Oh we aren't using that."

For example, you may be still in pretty good health at 80, but have issues with driving starting in your 70s and gradually worsening. Will both of you have the same levels of health? And what about facing, at age 80, completely beginning the process of sorting through housing options, interviewing places, driving to check them out, the physical labor of sorting through your things?

It does sound as though you will be in a better position than most people, though! But it's good to look at the experiences of 70- and 80-somethings now, to take advantage of their experiences.

 

[harllee]

The socialization is one of the great benefits of facility living. Seniors alone in their homes at an advanced age often get really lonely, especially if the spouse has passed.

So true--talked this morning to my widowed 90 year old mother who lives in an independent living apt in a CCRC. She excitedly told me that they had a very interesting program yesterday on Pearl Harbor. She said she could not talk long as the housekeeper was coming and she had an appt with the beautician there in the building. This weekend she has movie night on Sat and Church on Sunday. She seems so happy and has so many friends. I am grateful she decided years ago to enter the CCRC.

 

[PatrickA5]

So true--talked this morning to my widowed 90 year old mother who lives in an independent living apt in a CCRC. She excitedly told me that they had a very interesting program yesterday on Pearl Harbor. She said she could not talk long as the housekeeper was coming and she had an appt with the beautician there in the building. This weekend she has movie night on Sat and Church on Sunday. She seems so happy and has so many friends. I am grateful she decided years ago to enter the CCRC.

I wish my dad hadn't been so stubborn. I know he would have been happier in some kind of independent/assisted living place. His last 10 years (after mom passed) were very lonely. The only time he ever saw people (other than me) was his weekly grocery store visits.

 

[Dog]

I agree with you with the caveat that arranging these facilities at a late stage might be quite difficult if you don’t have kids nearby (or a community) or willing to come back and arrange it all. It’s not easy to do this if you’re a frail 85/90, or if you just had a fall etc.

I totally agree. My parents were able to manage this on their own as they moved in to AL in their late 70’s. My Dad passed away within a year of the move. And my Mom relocated herself multiple times in AL centers before she finally passed (we helped her with her last relocation). My in-laws required DH to handle each and every detail with their move to AL and they are in their mid-80’s. He has to handle each little detail for them even today. They are totally dependent on him. It really does depend on the individual.