Contemplating when to get serious about CCRC?

[Al in Ohio]

They're CCRC homes...they're not homes for young, healthy and active retirees. I doubt any of the residents prefer to be there instead of living independently.

Not so. We have looked at some CCRC’s in college towns with affiliations to the college and those residents lead an active lifestyle. All kinds of clubs and social events. Full use of all the college workout facilities and pools and transportation to all the college theater and arts productions. Also free tickets to football, basketball and hockey games. The entrance age starts at 55.

 

[BarbWire]

Are there any good online resources for finding information about CCRCs? I really need to begin serious research but googling "CCRC Colorado" for example doesn't get me far.

I assume that "FindContinuingCare.com" is a for-profit clearing house / advertising platform just like "FindaPlaceforMom.com" is.

What's the best way to start researching options -- to make a short list and then begin visiting? Especially a list of CCRCs affiliated with colleges and universities? A 10-year wait puts me at 75 ....

 

[nwsteve]

Barb--Here is link to ER Sticky on CCRC www.early-retirement.org/forums/f47/ccrc-reference-material-faqs-86124.html

 

[BarbWire]

Thank you!

 

[ChrisC]

Are there any good online resources for finding information about CCRCs? I really need to begin serious research but googling "CCRC Colorado" for example doesn't get me far.

I assume that "FindContinuingCare.com" is a for-profit clearing house / advertising platform just like "FindaPlaceforMom.com" is.

What's the best way to start researching options -- to make a short list and then begin visiting? Especially a list of CCRCs affiliated with colleges and universities? A 10-year wait puts me at 75 ....

https://www.retirementliving.com/college-linked-retirement-communities

 

[jrcunniff]

Interesting range of comments. Thank you.

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

That’s an excellent question, and hopefully one that will cause some to reconsider their strategy.

I have a mother who says she would willingly move into assisted living or a CCRC, and a father who refuses to discuss it. So “run out the clock” it is… Ironically, he is the one that needs more of the assistance. (But he’s the one that has needed hearing aids for 15 years, and refuses to acknowledge it, so it doesn’t come as a surprise.)

They have three children who are not local. I’m the closest at just under an hour away. They say they don’t want us to be saddled with the responsibilities, but what else can be done? They are still mostly self-sufficient — probably 80% falls on my mother — but if something happens I can’t just sit back and hope a miracle happens. Except for a month last year while my mother was hospitalized and in a rehab unit, we haven’t had a lot fall on our shoulders. But I know at some point (tomorrow? Two years from now?) it will come and I honestly don’t know how my siblings and I will manage it.

Moral of the story: running out the clock isn’t a strategy by itself, the care will fall on someone’s shoulders. And be honest with yourself and your family about what that plan is.

 

[Gearhead Jim]

Yesterday we visited a couple of friends near Chicago who recently moved into not exactly a CCRC, but a place with assistance available if needed (they don't, yet) and a memory care unit across the street. It is physically very nice. Their "condo" is almost 2,000 SF with a beautiful view of a big courtyard. The hallways and everything we toured (several hours) were very nicely done and immaculate. Several restaurants with free delivery to your unit if desired. It's everything we might want for our final years. Except-

The place is deader than a door nail. Despite being nearly full (350?), we saw only one other person in the hallways. NOBODY in the restaurants, gym, game rooms, etc. Maybe there's a lot of action going on in the individual condos, but we didn't see or hear it. It really did seem like a place where people go to die.

 

[harllee]

Yesterday we visited a couple of friends near Chicago who recently moved into not exactly a CCRC, but a place with assistance available if needed (they don't, yet) and a memory care unit across the street. It is physically very nice. Their "condo" is almost 2,000 SF with a beautiful view of a big courtyard. The hallways and everything we toured (several hours) were very nicely done and immaculate. Several restaurants with free delivery to your unit if desired. It's everything we might want for our final years. Except-

The place is deader than a door nail. Despite being nearly full (350?), we saw only one other person in the hallways. NOBODY in the restaurants, gym, game rooms, etc. Maybe there's a lot of action going on in the individual condos, but we didn't see or hear it. It really did seem like a place where people go to die.

That sounds like a very unusual place--maybe it is still affected by Covid? Every time I visit the CCRC where my mother lives and the ones where I have friends they are very active-- with people in all the restaurants at meal time, the fitness center full of people and the common area with many people. I am invited to activities at the CCRC where I plan to move and most of the activities (which are normally in a large auditorium) are standing room only. A year ago before the Covid vaccine most of the activities were viral and the common areas were much quieter than they are now. But now with all the staff and residents vaccinated things seem to be back to normal.

 

[Gearhead Jim]

^^^
Masking is still required in this place (and all others in Illinois, AFAIK). But no restrictions on using any of the facilities.

EDIT: The Covid metrics for the Durham metropolitan area are much better than the Chicago area, so that could indeed cause more caution here. Especially for older people.

Here's a nice site for comparisons, just type in the county or metro area in the window near the top of the page. Numbers are per population, so comparisons are easy.

https://covidactnow.org/us/metro/durham-chapel-hill_nc/?s=25541467

 

[albireo13]

My folks made no plans for themselves and didn't want to go to a CCRC. They expected to move in with one of us kids when things got worse. That's something that neither me nor my Sibs wanted since, my Mom was high maintenance, and would have driven us nuts. We eventually got them into a CCRC, after much todo.
Not a fun road to take!

 

[harllee]

My folks made no plans for themselves and didn't want to go to a CCRC. They expected to move in with one of us kids when things got worse. That's something that neither me nor my Sibs wanted since, my Mom was high maintenance, and would have driven us nuts. We eventually got them into a CCRC, after much todo.
Not a fun road to take!

I am so glad my mom made her own plans and moved into a nice CCRC while she was in good health. It has been the perfect place for her and a great relief to her children. I just got off the phone with 90 year old DM and she was talking about what a great trip they took on the bus last night to an Italian restaurant, there were 2 busses, 70 residents total from her CCRC. What a blessing.

 

[albireo13]

Yes, near the end my Dad was 90 and they both lived in a 2-story house, bedroom upstairs and driving their car. My sibs and I lived in other states and were taking turns running back to visit them each weekend to help with health issues and take care of them. My Sibs and I were burnt out and had to put our family lives on hold to do this. We plan not to do this to our kids!

 

[LARS]

Since this a CCRC thread, it is worthwhile to remind all that in most cases and certainly for all Type A properties, you must be healthy to get into most CCRCs

Curious if you have to "pass" healthy test twice?

In other words, at time you go on wait list, but again when your name comes up (which could be many years later).

 

[Lienlord]

We are facing a dilemma with my parents. My father is 86 with dementia and requires near constant monitoring. He's thankfully mobile enough to get around the house and to the bed & bathroom, but has become argumentative about taking a shower!
My mom (79) is his caregiver, but she is slipping both physically & mentally and forgets to feed him (he's diabetic) and doesn't record his medicines. She recently had her 3rd recurrence of cancer, and about to start a difficult chemo regimen which will leave her sick for a week after each cycle.
They still live in their large house, which they've been unable to take care of for the past few years. Mom has refused home health care, and suggestions to sell the house and move into assisted care facility.
We're at our wit's end on what to do. She only wants help on her terms, and can be difficult to deal with.

 

[LARS]

We are facing a dilemma with my parents. My father is 86 with dementia and requires near constant monitoring. He's thankfully mobile enough to get around the house and to the bed & bathroom, but has become argumentative about taking a shower!
My mom (79) is his caregiver, but she is slipping both physically & mentally and forgets to feed him (he's diabetic) and doesn't record his medicines. She recently had her 3rd recurrence of cancer, and about to start a difficult chemo regimen which will leave her sick for a week after each cycle.
They still live in their large house, which they've been unable to take care of for the past few years. Mom has refused home health care, and suggestions to sell the house and move into assisted care facility.
We're at our wit's end on what to do. She only wants help on her terms, and can be difficult to deal with.

Sadly a "crisis" is usually the catalyst to force the change in a situation like yours.

Don’t ask me how I know…

 

[harllee]

Curious if you have to "pass" healthy test twice?

In other words, at time you go on wait list, but again when your name comes up (which could be many years later).

The only test we had to pass to get on the wait list was a financial test--we had to give the CCRC a financial statement. The Cognitive/health tests comes when you want to move in, so you don't want to wait too late, you may not pass. We know several people who waited too late and could not pass the health test to get in.

 

[nwsteve]

The only test we had to pass to get on the wait list was a financial test--we had to give the CCRC a financial statement. The Cognitive/health tests comes when you want to move in, so you don't want to wait too late, you may not pass. We know several people who waited too late and could not pass the health test to get in.

Ditto for our move to our CCRC. In our research, all the ones we visit would allow deposits without health exams. Interestingly, many kept no wait list, so a deposit and unit selection was required at time of deposit. However, once apt is selected, and move-in is scheduled, you update financials if changed or sign affirmation of no change and are scheduled for health physical.

 

[Silver]

We are facing a dilemma with my parents. My father is 86 with dementia and requires near constant monitoring. He's thankfully mobile enough to get around the house and to the bed & bathroom, but has become argumentative about taking a shower!.

I have had the opportunity to be involved with three individuals with dementia from before they were diagnosed until their death.

What stuck me was that the disinterest in personal hygiene was the earliest symptom by far. Their behavior was otherwise status quo. They just left hygiene lacking, but would complete it if pushed. Further along, (sometimes years) suggestions that they improve their hygiene was met with hostility.

Unfortunately this leaves me watching for my DH to innocently miss brushing his teeth. Poor thing....

 

[youbet]

Obviously you can be an old 65 or a young 80, but at some point CCRC will probably make sense.

And the one thing I learned from helping my own aging parents was you don’t want to be behind the curve on this issue.

DW and I are still young (relatively speaking mid sixties and in excellent health), but there will come a time.

So trying to learn from others what are the criteria you are considering as to when it’s time to seriously start to investigate CCRCs?

As an aside I recently joked with DW that we should take a cross-country road trip using top notch CCRCs as destinations.

She didn’t find my suggestion funny!

We're about a decade older than you folks. And we still feel a bit too active to move to a CCRC yet. But obviously that's a very individual thing as you've stated.

We just visited our favorite CCRC yesterday. That was maybe our 5th or 6th time over 2 - 3 years. We left with the same feeling we've had in the past that our social life and activities would continue to be mainly off campus if we moved in now or in the near future.

We're interested in a Type A contract for the LTCI aspect so waiting does include some risk. Were one of us become less than 100% independent, we wouldn't be accepted.

Our backup plan would be to go into a Type C contract place and just pay as we go. Our number one objective is that if one of us goes into full nursing care, the other shouldn't have to expose him-herself to long drives in Chicago winter weather, etc., as we just finished doing with DW's mom. And that our son wouldn't be burdened with picking a NH and handling details.

Secondarily, if we do manage to get into a Type A contract place, costs become relatively predictable so we could increase our transfer of assets to the family with the better knowledge of what future costs might be.

So........

1st choice...... Continue to live at home (and travel, camp, take fishing trips, pursue space eating hobbies, winter in Fla., etc.) until some age or health related issue tells us it's time to get into a Type A contract CCRC while we can.

2nd choice...... As above but an issue jumps into our lives which precludes a Type A contract and we go Type C. Costs would be much less predictable and possibly more but the advantage is when you go in, you already need care so you're sure you're ready to go!

3rd choice....... Stay at home until the poop hits the fan with health or age issues for one of us. Scramble and get that person into a NH. The other stays in the house and commutes to visit regularly. Our son gets involved and helps.

We can afford the entrance fee and monthly fees for a Type A CCRC and there are several nice ones around here. We can afford to pay the full ride for NH care at a Type C CCRC (but man they're pricey, $100k/yr and up for just the NH portion). So, we're covered either way. But it would be nice to get into a Type A (but not so early that we're elementary schoolers hanging around with the high schoolers.

We can afford to have one of us still living here at the house and the other in a NH. But the idea that I'm still here taking care of things and driving through weather and traffic for daily visits is not appealing. Or the other way around.

We want to be where the kids and grand kids can conveniently visit and that they be well informed and involved in some decisions. But we don't want them to have to hustle to figure out what to do or to shoulder any financial responsibility for it all.

It's really hard to come up with choices that solve the issues involved with getting old and possibly having lingering health issues without making some compromises. This is where we're at so far.

 

[PatrickA5]

That’s an excellent question, and hopefully one that will cause some to reconsider their strategy.

I have a mother who says she would willingly move into assisted living or a CCRC, and a father who refuses to discuss it. So “run out the clock” it is… Ironically, he is the one that needs more of the assistance. (But he’s the one that has needed hearing aids for 15 years, and refuses to acknowledge it, so it doesn’t come as a surprise.)

They have three children who are not local. I’m the closest at just under an hour away. They say they don’t want us to be saddled with the responsibilities, but what else can be done? They are still mostly self-sufficient — probably 80% falls on my mother — but if something happens I can’t just sit back and hope a miracle happens. Except for a month last year while my mother was hospitalized and in a rehab unit, we haven’t had a lot fall on our shoulders. But I know at some point (tomorrow? Two years from now?) it will come and I honestly don’t know how my siblings and I will manage it.

Moral of the story: running out the clock isn’t a strategy by itself, the care will fall on someone’s shoulders. And be honest with yourself and your family about what that plan is.

You, being the closest, will probably have most of the caregiver duties.

Although my dad made it to 97 living independently in his own house, I was the person responsible for most of his needs since I lived in town. Sometimes it was good (going over having talks, etc) and sometimes it was bad - going over to pick him up off the floor after a fall (numerous times). On those occasions that he ended up in the hospital, my DB would drive down and spend a day or so - but would leave quickly. It caused some resentment over the years.

I don't plan on putting the burden on any of my kids.

 

[lem1955]

We are currently filling out initial forms for a Life Plan CCRC (type A). I am 66 and in excellent health. My DW just turned 76 and is slowing down but in excellent health. Our plan is to move shortly after I begin taking SS at 70 and she is over 80. I suspect it will still feel early for me, but the compromise is necessary due to the difference in our ages. I am thinking of it as a new adventure that takes us away from house, lawn and garden upkeep responsibilities, a muddy road in March-April, and a rural lifestyle far from theater, shopping and restaurant choices. We will be close to a small international airport, a world class hospital, theater, many more restaurant choices and still close enough to escape from city without a long drive. We've started to think about downsizing possessions so we can live comfortably in space about half as much as we currently have. I'm hopeful I will find that liberating rather than confining. It will be great to have a swimming pool, exercise facility, library and some of our meals provided for us.

 

[CP Soon]

I've read several posters who stated that they plan to age in-place and hire help when needed. This is only a "vision" and not a strategy with actionable plans. This is what my DM planned on doing and it only works when healthy and able to be self-sufficient. Once she started having serious health issues, such as congestive heart failure + kidney failure requiring 3X/wk dialysis, she was no longer able to care for herself. All this was a perfect storm in the middle of a pandemic and guess what? All the in-home health care organizations did not have adequate resources to provide the required daily care. We needed 24-hour caregiver support but could only get professional caregivers 3 or 4 days a week for 4-8 hours per day, all being different individuals. I was able to hire some non-professional caregivers off the street but found myself managing +7 different caregivers each week. Also, any given week at least 2 would not show up, so I was drafted into regular caregiver service. I was assisting her +60 hours per week, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying all bills, pickup & drop off at dialysis all while trying to maintain my health, family and career. Nearly killed me until we found a local private assisted living facility that was awesome and provided the needed 24-hour care. She passed away peacefully in her sleep 8 months later in a loving environment surrounded by loved one's. I will NOT put my family thru this nightmare when I get older (at least 20 - 25 years away) and will plan better to NOT be a burden to my family when additional care is needed. Last few years of life need to be remembered with good visits, laughs and good times. I also encourage others to have a BETTER PLAN!

 

[street]

I've read several posters who stated that they plan to age in-place and hire help when needed. This is only a "vision" and not a strategy with actionable plans. This is what my DM planned on doing and it only works when healthy and able to be self-sufficient. Once she started having serious health issues, such as congestive heart failure + kidney failure requiring 3X/wk dialysis, she was no longer able to care for herself. All this was a perfect storm in the middle of a pandemic and guess what? All the in-home health care organizations did not have adequate resources to provide the required daily care. We needed 24-hour caregiver support but could only get professional caregivers 3 or 4 days a week for 4-8 hours per day, all being different individuals. I was able to hire some non-professional caregivers off the street but found myself managing +7 different caregivers each week. Also, any given week at least 2 would not show up, so I was drafted into regular caregiver service. I was assisting her +60 hours per week, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying all bills, pickup & drop off at dialysis all while trying to maintain my health, family and career. Nearly killed me until we found a local private assisted living facility that was awesome and provided the needed 24-hour care. She passed away peacefully in her sleep 8 months later in a loving environment surrounded by loved one's. I will NOT put my family thru this nightmare when I get older (at least 20 - 25 years away) and will plan better to NOT be a burden to my family when additional care is needed. Last few years of life need to be remembered with good visits, laughs and good times. I also encourage others to have a BETTER PLAN!

What is your plan and how can I make a better plan? What ideas do you have to have the best plan in place?
Thanks

 

[harllee]

I've read several posters who stated that they plan to age in-place and hire help when needed. This is only a "vision" and not a strategy with actionable plans. This is what my DM planned on doing and it only works when healthy and able to be self-sufficient. Once she started having serious health issues, such as congestive heart failure + kidney failure requiring 3X/wk dialysis, she was no longer able to care for herself. All this was a perfect storm in the middle of a pandemic and guess what? All the in-home health care organizations did not have adequate resources to provide the required daily care. We needed 24-hour caregiver support but could only get professional caregivers 3 or 4 days a week for 4-8 hours per day, all being different individuals. I was able to hire some non-professional caregivers off the street but found myself managing +7 different caregivers each week. Also, any given week at least 2 would not show up, so I was drafted into regular caregiver service. I was assisting her +60 hours per week, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying all bills, pickup & drop off at dialysis all while trying to maintain my health, family and career. Nearly killed me until we found a local private assisted living facility that was awesome and provided the needed 24-hour care. She passed away peacefully in her sleep 8 months later in a loving environment surrounded by loved one's. I will NOT put my family thru this nightmare when I get older (at least 20 - 25 years away) and will plan better to NOT be a burden to my family when additional care is needed. Last few years of life need to be remembered with good visits, laughs and good times. I also encourage others to have a BETTER PLAN!

Thank you for this. I feel the same way and that is why DH and I are moving into a LifeCare CCRC in the next couple of years (we are age 70 now). I think that people who say they are going to stay home until they die are living in a dream world.

 

[HarryHawk]

My wife and I are planning to move into a CCRC in the next 15-18 months. I am primarily doing this for my own piece of mind. If something happens to me, my wife is secure and will have her needs met. It is a brand-new community still being built in an area that we have always wanted to live. It checks all of our boxes.

My wife's sister and aunt both moved into CCRCs and enjoyed staying in independent situations for many years. Her aunt has since transitioned in assisted living in an environment she knew.

Year and a half ago, my 90 some mother had a mild stroke, we moved her from her home into assisted living. At first, she was reluctant. Now she says she is very happy about having moved and no longer living alone.

We have no particular reason to stay in our current home. We have lived here for 40 years, and have great memories, but we aren't making any new memories. We fully expect the results of our move to be as positive as the experiences of our immediate relatives.

Time will tell.