Dating advice?

[Souschef]

Photo

When we were first dating, my now DW was visiting my house. She knew I had traveled quite a bit, but I asked her where in the world would she like to go.
She said, "Ever since I was 17, I have wanted to go to Tahiti".
I reached into the bookcase, and handed her a brochure, and said,ick a date". She looked at me like I was nuts, but finally selected a date, with sort of a "Oh Yeh" attitude.
A few weeks later, I handed her an envelope and said, "Here is your ticket to Tahiti". She was totally speechless.
Well she got her wish, and here is a picture of my favorite wahini in Tahiti

 

[street]

^ that was awesome! See what money can do. Lol

 

[Z3Dreamer]

Leaving a Linear Algebra class with my test score of 63, the college quarterback says that he did terrible and got in the 60's. The young hottie, wanting his attention, says that she did terrible, too. I, sitting next to her, could not help but blurt out "You call a 100 terrible?" Her attempt at hiding her intelligence ended. So did her desire to acknowledge my existence.

 

[aja8888]

Imagine that the gal you end up marrying, you know the one you thought was real smart and was hiding it to play the game, really turns out to have not been acting at all!

 

[Gumby]

I love an intelligent woman. As my grandmother told me privately long, long ago, after she met the young fiancee - "Sure, she's beautiful, but can you talk to her? Because eventually you'll need to get out of bed."

 

[Nemo2]

A musical interlude with the great Tom Lehrer:

 

[GravitySucks]

When we were first dating, my now DW was visiting my house. She knew I had traveled quite a bit, but I asked her where in the world would she like to go.
She said, "Ever since I was 17, I have wanted to go to Tahiti".
I reached into the bookcase, and handed her a brochure, and said,ick a date". She looked at me like I was nuts, but finally selected a date, with sort of a "Oh Yeh" attitude.
A few weeks later, I handed her an envelope and said, "Here is your ticket to Tahiti". She was totally speechless.
Well she got her wish, and here is a picture of my favorite wahini in Tahiti

Another great story Souschef. You're a lucky guy.

 

[Amethyst]

But what, I wonder, are some of the things men conceive of, when they think "I want an intelligent woman"?

Some posters appear to equate intelligence with "not a foolish spender" and "not easily conned by salespeople or tradespeople." And there it ends.

What are some of the other qualities that are equated with intelligence and are sought after?

I love an intelligent woman. As my grandmother told me privately long, long ago, after she met the young fiancee - "Sure, she's beautiful, but can you talk to her? Because eventually you'll need to get out of bed."

 

[Nemo2]

What are some of the other qualities that are equated with intelligence and are sought after?

Being as dumb as mud myself, I'm somewhat loath to respond to this.....but DW & I talk about everything.......mainly questions, rather than answers, and the determinations we arrive at might often (always) be totally incorrect.

Small example: we watched from our window an Osprey flying south parallel to the river, and initially wondered why it was flying over land rather than water.

Our conclusion.....which is probably wrong...is that a) they like to hunt flying against the current and b) if they fly with the current before turning back to hunt then their southbound shadow might have already alerted the prey.

So, basically, it's an overall interest in analyzing the 'whys' of things, as opposed to being preoccupied with 'stuff'.

A somewhat muted response I know....but...it's all I have before breakfast.

 

[Amethyst]

I think it's a great answer!

Being as dumb as mud myself, I'm somewhat loath to respond to this.....but DW & I talk about everything.......mainly questions, rather than answers, and the determinations we arrive at might often (always) be totally incorrect.

Small example: we watched from our window an Osprey flying south parallel to the river, and initially wondered why it was flying over land rather than water.

Our conclusion.....which is probably wrong...is that a) they like to hunt flying against the current and b) if they fly with the current before turning back to hunt then their southbound shadow might have already alerted the prey.

So, basically, it's an overall interest in analyzing the 'whys' of things, as opposed to being preoccupied with 'stuff'.

A somewhat muted response I know....but...it's all I have before breakfast.

 

[Amethyst]

When I was a kid, I thought Lehrer was a hoot just like everyone else did. Now, I see how sad and bitter his humor tended to be.

A musical interlude with the great Tom Lehrer:

 

[Nemo2]

When I was a kid, I thought Lehrer was a hoot just like everyone else did. Now, I see how sad and bitter his humor tended to be.

There is, however, a lot of truth in bitter humor:

 

[Gumby]

But what, I wonder, are some of the things men conceive of, when they think "I want an intelligent woman"?

Some posters appear to equate intelligence with "not a foolish spender" and "not easily conned by salespeople or tradespeople." And there it ends.

What are some of the other qualities that are equated with intelligence and are sought after?

I can't answer for other men, but when I say I love an intelligent woman, I really do mean a woman who is intelligent by any of the traditional measures. Someone with intellectual curiosity, and a facility for learning new things and applying that knowledge. I value a well educated woman. One with a broad based liberal arts undergraduate background that has exposed her to a range of knowledge, as well as graduate education that demonstrates the ability to delve more deeply into selected fields of study. I value a woman who has thought logically about issues, who has carefully considered any applicable data and research, who has reached a position based on reason rather than emotion, and who is not afraid to speak out about her position. I value a woman who is open to new ideas and new experiences. One who is confident enough in her own abilities to boldly take on anything. That's what I wanted and that's what I got.

 

[athena53]

Leaving a Linear Algebra class with my test score of 63, the college quarterback says that he did terrible and got in the 60's. The young hottie, wanting his attention, says that she did terrible, too. I, sitting next to her, could not help but blurt out "You call a 100 terrible?" Her attempt at hiding her intelligence ended. So did her desire to acknowledge my existence.

Wow- that's sad that she thought she had to downplay her abilities. My grades in Linear Algebra were respectable but I doubt I ever got a 100 on a test.

I wanted to address the definition of intelligence- I'm dating a guy I met on Match.com- not much to look at (well, neither am I other than my gym-rat body which probably isn't well-endowed enough for many men) but is passionate about politics, travel and international affairs. He was born and raised in the US and is of German extraction, but he's fluent in Spanish and often converses with the staff in Mexican restaurants. I love it- I know enough Spanish to understand it but am not comfortable speaking it. The last time we met for lunch we had an animated conversation about the subtleties of legal translation of words such as "should" (he works one day a week in the courts as an interpreter). To me, that's sexy.

Although it would be a plus if he looked like the guy in the beach picture.

 

[street]

My wife is a very intelligent woman and is one thing that intrigued me about her. My son is seeing an attorney that is extremely intelligent and has some high profile clients. It makes for an interesting time, when we are around them. She also is very common, down to earth country gal, so all that smart stuff makes it interesting. Lol

 

[Bestwifeever]

I can't answer for other men, but when I say I love an intelligent woman, I really do mean a woman who is intelligent by any of the traditional measures. Someone with intellectual curiosity, and a facility for learning new things and applying that knowledge. I value a well educated woman. One with a broad based liberal arts undergraduate background that has exposed her to a range of knowledge, as well as graduate education that demonstrates the ability to delve more deeply into selected fields of study. I value a woman who has thought logically about issues, who has carefully considered any applicable data and research, who has reached a position based on reason rather than emotion, and who is not afraid to speak out about her position. I value a woman who is open to new ideas and new experiences. One who is confident enough in her own abilities to boldly take on anything. That's what I wanted and that's what I got.

Love this. You and your "young wife" are perfectly matched.

 

[Chuckanut]

Another great story Souschef. You're a lucky guy.

And a rather smart one also.

 

[Chuckanut]

Although it would be a plus if he looked like the guy in the beach picture.

Perhaps. But, if he looked like that guy he might be surrounded by 50+ women who look like this:

 

[Mdlerth]

It's not beauty vs brains, its beauty AND brains

I have a fabulous DDIL who is so smart it's stupid. Holds a doctorate, is spectacular at her profession, has lightning-quick wit and can crack an escape room single-handed in under an hour.

Now, my son is plenty smart himself. But the reason she initially hooked up with him was, when they were in college together, she and her roommate referred to him as "Mister Sexy". When he was a teenager, I would overhear girls at the pool discussing in hushed tones "who's that hot boy?"

Apparently, the chromosomes for rugged good looks and a Herculean physique are recessive and skip a generation. Either that or about 33 years ago we must have had a really handsome mailman.

 

[HFWR]

(well, neither am I other than my gym-rat body which probably isn't well-endowed enough for many men)...

I like boobs as much as the next guy, but I much prefer a fit, trim body than a set of store-bought boobs the size of Cadillac bumper bullets...

Although it would be a plus if he looked like the guy in the beach picture.

I’m guessing the percentage of men his age who look like him is <1%, unless photoshopped.

 

[W2R]

Although it would be a plus if he looked like the guy in the beach picture.

F doesn't look like that at all, and to me he is extraordinarily handsome. When we started dating I didn't see him as especially handsome, but I quickly learned to appreciate how handsome a very short, balding guy with a stratospheric IQ who truly cares about me and shares many of my interests, can be. He is brilliant, kind, fascinating to talk to, independent both financially and otherwise, and in general he is so much fun to be around. To me that makes all the difference in the world.

I love an intelligent woman. As my grandmother told me privately long, long ago, after she met the young fiancee - "Sure, she's beautiful, but can you talk to her? Because eventually you'll need to get out of bed."

Your grandmother was a wise woman. What she said also applies to men; eventually a woman will need to get out of bed and talk to her guy, so it helps to keep that in mind.

 

[athena53]

Perhaps. But, if he looked like that guy he might be surrounded by 50+ women who look like this:

That's EXACTLY what I saw in on-line dating. Men in my age group who were fit and ruggedly handsome were looking for women 10-15 years younger (or else showed signs of being scammers). Having outlived a dear second husband who was 15 years older, I don't want to take that risk on again.

 

[aja8888]

That's EXACTLY what I saw in on-line dating. Men in my age group who were fit and ruggedly handsome were looking for women 10-15 years younger (or else showed signs of being scammers). Having outlived a dear second husband who was 15 years older, I don't want to take that risk on again.

Older, single men (divorced, widowed, etc) generally don't want to take on the risk of "taking care" of an older woman either. That's why they *generally* look for younger women if they decide to hook up again. I know that if my DW checks out before me, I would do the same, or I would just stay unattached, permanently. She's two years younger than me, but has developed a huge amount of medical issues, and I am basically her "caretaker" on a daily basis.

Looking at the friends I have, I don't know of any one that has an older wife. My close friends' wives are a few years younger (less than 5 or so), or very close to the same age. Getting a partner that is a decade or more older than you is a situation that has the risk of having different needs later on.

 

[NW-Bound]

Having posted the photo of the older muscular guy as a tease, I have to say that I wonder what a guy like that has to do to maintain his physique. He may spend so much time on that effort, his lifestyle may feel boring to ordinary men.

I think one needs to stay fit as he/she ages. It's not just for look, but also for health. But not everyone cares to pump iron for a couple of hours each day. Admittedly, it also takes some discipline that most people lack.

 

[Dtail]

Having posted the photo of the older muscular guy as a tease, I have to say that I wonder what a guy like that has to do to maintain his physique. He may spend so much time on that effort, his lifestyle may feel boring to ordinary men.

I think one needs to stay fit as he/she ages. It's not just for look, but also for health. But not everyone cares to pump iron for a couple of hours each day. Admittedly, it also takes some discipline that most people lack.

It is not just the pumping iron, but usually involves a fairly radical diet which would typically not fit in with the typical retiree.