frayne
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Any good resources on the subject ?
ScaredtoQuit said:Yes! Take your cues from the old song, "It's cheaper to keep her"
chinaco said:My opinion: if you can work it out, try to do so. Short of there being a complete mismatch from the beginning or an abuse situation... it takes two to tango. You are very likely to find that the grass is not greener on the other side...
Want2retire said:Divorce is often financially devastating to one (or more often, both) parties at first. Sometimes it can be the best financial decision in the long run, as it was for me (even though I gave him the house, its contents, the boat, his retirement account, the bank accounts, and his new conversion van; basically everything but a K-car on its last legs, my books, and an old sofa). Yes, I initiated the divorce.
It takes time to recover financially. I am 58 and have been divorced for 8 years. I am in a lot better situation financially by now than I was after 23 years of marriage, but it has not been easy. He has not done as well - - after a few years, the property division seems to have made so much less impact on our finances than my LBYM philosophy as opposed to his philosophy of spending all he has or can borrow.
As for other aspects, all I can say is that life as a single person in my fifties has been great.
If I'm not getting too personal, was his spending everything one of the reasons for your divorce?Want2retire said:Divorce is often financially devastating to one (or more often, both) parties at first. Sometimes it can be the best financial decision in the long run, as it was for me (even though I gave him the house, its contents, the boat, his retirement account, the bank accounts, and his new conversion van; basically everything but a K-car on its last legs, my books, and an old sofa). Yes, I initiated the divorce.
It takes time to recover financially. I am 58 and have been divorced for 8 years. I am in a lot better situation financially by now than I was after 23 years of marriage, but it has not been easy. He has not done as well - - after a few years, the property division seems to have made so much less impact on our finances than my LBYM philosophy as opposed to his philosophy of spending all he has or can borrow.
As for other aspects, all I can say is that life as a single person in my fifties has been great.
bennevis said:wife left 13 years ago and divorce took 2 years to complete.
was extremely difficult for both sides. At least she got mostly eveything I/we had.
I've done well since and was able to rebuilt my finances.
Remarried almost 5 years ago and it's a marriage made in heaven, thank God for that.
Probably true, as the ex's not-so-good health and shaky finances is a constant worry for our grown up children, and, by extention, a worry of mine also.Cute Fuzzy Bunny said:Hmmm...study was done recently that showed that divorce and being fired from a job caused an irreversible and severe impact on ones happiness.
CRABBY JERRY said:If I'm not getting too personal, was his spending everything one of the reasons for your divorce?
"The Case Against Divorce" by Diane Medved.frayne said:Any good resources on the subject ?
That will get you everytime! Sounds like he lost a great one and you came out much better.Want2retire said:No, actually it wasn't. His intractable severe alcoholism (hence abuse, unemployment, and so on) that developed in his forties was my reason for divorcing him.
Cute Fuzzy Bunny said:Hmmm...study was done recently that showed that divorce and being fired from a job caused an irreversible and severe impact on ones happiness.
bennevis said:both lawyer's suck!
What happens in Pa., is there is a table where one side is my income, the other is hers, the table will show what she/he gets in alimony.
my income was 2.5 times hers, so , for some reason the
division of assets was 60/40 in her favor. don't remember if it really turned out that way, but I kept my pension, so that in retirement I don't have to split it with her.
she got virtually all of the home after sale, I paid off her car loan, she got all of my 401k, fortunately it was during a time that the market was booming, so after 2 years of haggling, my 401k almost doubled, she got what it was worth at the time she left.
So, it seemed as though she got everything (except my pension) and she got 7 years of alimony.
Cute Fuzzy Bunny said:Hmmm...study was done recently that showed that divorce and being fired from a job caused an irreversible and severe impact on ones happiness.
HaHa said:I don't believe this, especially as relates to the irreversible part. Research has shown the people have a happiness set point. They come back pretty quickly after enormous losses like going blind, or becoming paraplegic.
Don't know about you, but I'll take divorce over blindness any day of the week!
ha
Not sure, but I suppose there is a merge point for her income and mine (even if zero).Sam said:What would happen if your income at that time was zero (unemployed)?
It's a very tough choice: be miserable with the current spouse and have some money, or divorce the spouse and be poor.kcowan said:When I was going through my divorce, a number of my friends sympathized with my feelings and said they would do the same thing if they could afford it.
I confirmed to them that I could not afford it either. But I was prepared to pay for the opportunity to live happily ever after (well maybe 40 years). That was 12 years ago.