Do You Hide Your Financial Success From Others?

[F.I.R.E User]

Most people judge you on wealth when they see a nice luxury car, bling bling jewelry, brand name clothes and a big house. They got it all wrong. I’ve seen this on social media.

 

[Time2]

Awfully nice of you and sounds like a win win.

I'm actually very happy about the house they bought, I think my daughter might be a little lavish in her wants. But a year before she was to finish school they were just "looking" and found a HUD repo just off the Manatee river that heads out to the gulf. They have a boat and like to fish so they wanted to be on the water. The price at $239k is half of what I think she would jump into. So I'm glad that are committed to this at least for now.
As a couple, very soon she will be in practice and they will earn the price of the house each year, and they tell me they will be big savers, yet to be seen.
I hear about a hot tub and a boat dock on pilings. Soo...
Oh, and the BMW that they bought after she totaled her Toyota.
Quote, " it was about the same as the Toyota payment"


But, I am glad she had reliable car, during her last year in a clinic, she was 400 miles from home, so she drove home, round trip 800 miles, almost every weekend for one year. She spent many of those weekends working on the house. I must have given her my "go getter" cause I don't have any left!

 

[MC Rider]

Cool.

 

[W2R]

[..]I am glad she had reliable car, during her last year in a clinic, she was 400 miles from home, so she drove home, round trip 800 miles, almost every weekend for one year. She spent many of those weekends working on the house.

Youth is such an amazing gift! I *think* I remember when I had that much energy.... maybe. Anyway that's really terrific.

 

[Scuba]

We do not discuss our financial position with anyone except professionals such as our CPA and our free Fidelity advisor. We don’t have children and have changed our estate distribution plans over the years so wouldn’t want to tell anyone what to expect.

Some relatives and close friends may think we live lavishly because we have nice homes and spent a lot remodeling and furnishing them. We have also taken long international trips 6 weeks to 3 months) each year except for 2020. Others may think we are poor because we both drive 2007 cars and buy our clothes mainly at Kohl’s and Target.

I think our heirs will be pleasantly surprised at what they’ll get if all goes as expected or if we die prematurely. But if we live a really long time or need to fund LTC, they may not get much. Time will tell.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

Um no. I sort of shared with my mom a hint of what we've amassed and are amassing so she can leave everything she has to my kids. I flat out said I don't want or need her house. She should spend every penny. But she has always said you'll get the house so recently I got very blunt and said I didn't want or need the house it would cause a bigger headache than it's worth. I think she's starting to get the picture.

Everyone else? Um nope. I recently did tell a friend that things were going well and they know enough about what we do to know it's very likely we are very well settled. I'll know more in a year or two. We are either going to be very comfortable or just fine. Either way the kids will inherit a lot.

But I sometimes wonder what will happen if we decide to buy the house we've always said we wanted. It'll probably be a huge sign that we have money we just didn't spend it.

 

[brett]

Don't confuse 'hiding' with a belief that ones financial situation is very personal.

We drive older cars, live in an smaller home. We each have equity investments in the low 7 figures.

All the driveways in our cul de sac have late model Lexus, Audis, Mercs, etc in them. We don't because we are happy with our vehicles and have no desire to change for the sake of changing.

This does not mean that we have a desire to brag about it, run out and buy new cars, etc. We downsized from a very large home to a smaller lock and leave home. Absolutely nothing to do with trying to 'hide' our financial position.

Bottom line.....it is no one's business what we have or how we invest. Our children may have an inclination but really the have no idea whatsoever. Not time for them to know either. And we certainly do not want any of our relatives knowing what we have. Any time we have helped one financially it has always been on the strict understanding that it is to be kept private between us and them.

We find it very odd that there is a tendency to judge people or their success in life by their material wealth. We know of several very wealthy people who we would never let darken our door let alone eat at our dining room table.

 

[F.I.R.E User]

Many people think if you have a business you are rich compare to a job. LOL.

 

[Amethyst]

Good for you. I'm curious, though. How does it work, when you can afford to fly business class and he flies coach?

I I did find a good guy who shares my passion for travel and is NOT a gold-digger.

)

 

[Rianne]

We are financially independent and rarely talk about it. I'm not sure about the financial success part. We won't know until it's over. Some people think $xxxx is success others think $xxxxxxxxxx is a success. We still LBYM, but enjoy life. Worry a bit about our health, but we're pretty healthy. We like to travel but not extravagantly, meaning we don't go first class.

I could be wrong, but when I see a huge house, multiple expensive cars, friends/family who wear expensive brand name clothes I think of debt. I hate debt and learned very early on how destructive it can be (family experience).

 

[skyking1]

I do speak about retirement and what we want to do as retirees. That in itself is revealing that we are doing OK.

 

[tmm99]

I wouldn't say I'm a financial success as there's a limit to what I can spend, but I can spend more than when I was w*rking, so in that sense, I can say I'm in a pretty good position.

My mom knows how much I've saved and she's happy for me. I don't talk about money with friends but one friend who is also my POA knows the approximate amount.

 

[brett]

People make the craziest of assumptions about your financial situation. Perhaps based on their own experiences.

We sold our home,put everything in storage, and travelled when we first retired.

When we returned the real estate market was down. We rented for four years before buying agaoin.

A number of people actually thought that we could not afford to buy a replacement home because we had 'spent all of our money' on months of international travel.

The were even more confused when we started to travel 4-5 months a year while renting. Travel was another reason why we were happy to rent.

 

[BruinBones]

My family thinks all doctors are rich - but probably don't think I'm rich.

 

[F.I.R.E User]

My family thinks all doctors are rich - but probably don't think I'm rich.

Many people base wealth by income only.

 

[ncbill]

My late parents and their acquaintances lived public, high-consumption life-styles.

They also got targeted by many of our local hucksters.

So I have been very careful to make those around me outside my immediate family believe I am as poor as a church mouse.

 

[brett]

I know someone who is a very generous donor to a number of charities.

You would never know it by his lifestyle. He only has one condition for giving.

His donations must be confidential. No publicity whatsoever. If there is, it would be the last time that the organization rec'd any funding from him. One group found out, much to their chagrin, that he was serious about that condition.

 

[EastWest Gal]

My family thinks all doctors are rich - but probably don't think I'm rich.

Pediatrician’s generally aren’t rich.

 

[Physics Guy]

I could have sworn I posted in this thread but I guess not.

I don't specifically hide anything but because of our desires to be FI we generally aren't flaunting anything. With family I've been fairly open about the fact that we did get some money from my FIL's estate. From one conversation I'm fairly sure that my siblings think that we inherited more than we really did but that isn't a big deal.

 

[socca]

I inherited the management of my dad's financial life when he died several months ago. I was surprised to discover that:
• he netted $40k per month
• he was the income beneficiary of some trusts I had never even heard of

Why the surprise? Well, he:
• always flew cargo-class
• always purchased second-hand cars
• always knew the cheapest place to get gas in his area
• lived in a solidly middle-class house
• never talked about his money

I will never know why he chose to live so modestly. Maybe he didn't want to produce spoiled, entitled brats for kids?

 

[Sunset]

I inherited the management of my dad's financial life when he died several months ago. I surprised to discover that:
• he netted $40k per month
• he was the income beneficiary of some trusts I had never even heard of

Why the surprise? Well, he:
• always flew cargo-class
• always purchased second-hand cars
• always knew the cheapest place to get gas in his area
• lived in a solidly middle-class house
• never talked about his money

I will never know why he chose to live so modestly. Maybe he didn't want to produce spoiled, entitled brats for kids?

Some people don't like to waste money....

Here are some stories of other people that lived far below their means and died with many millions in the estate.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sylvia-bloom-frugal-secretary-hid-9m-fortune-she-joins-list-n871996

 

[cyber888]

I'm FI but not rich but will survive on an regular FIRE (not fat FIRE, not lean FIRE), and will not disclose my finances to friends and family. My nest egg will allow me to replace my net take home salary with SS adjusting for inflation and some buffer, and that's all I need. I think any friend or family trying to borrow will be disruptive.

 

[MichaelB]

If financial success means financial independence and a comfortable, funded retirement, hard work and smart choices are required but not enough. Too many meet both those criteria but still don’t make it all the way. Good fortune is also needed.

So, for me this means 150%. That’s 50% hard work, 50% smart choices, and 50% good fortune.

And good health.

 

[street]

I inherited the management of my dad's financial life when he died several months ago. I was surprised to discover that:
• he netted $40k per month
• he was the income beneficiary of some trusts I had never even heard of

Why the surprise? Well, he:
• always flew cargo-class
• always purchased second-hand cars
• always knew the cheapest place to get gas in his area
• lived in a solidly middle-class house
• never talked about his money

I will never know why he chose to live so modestly. Maybe he didn't want to produce spoiled, entitled brats for kids?

WOW! Very interesting!! 40K a month is big time wealth.

 

[frayne]

If financial success means financial independence and a comfortable, funded retirement, hard work and smart choices are required but not enough. Too many meet both those criteria but still don’t make it all the way. Good fortune is also needed.

So, for me this means 150%. That’s 50% hard work, 50% smart choices, and 50% good fortune.

And good health.

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