Feeling sad after just hearing of the passing of a long time colleague

[FlaGator]

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife, FlaGator...

Thank you.

Not intending to hijack the topic, or troll for sympathy.

From what I have seen, if one is on the edge of retiring, this is the kind of thing that can make one pull the trigger. I was not, but made a choice based on the circumstances. Would make the same decision 6+ years later. Have learned to not over-react to life's events and make hard-to-reverse decisions.

My grandfather died at 62, but his daughter (my mother) is still kicking at 84, and it looks like I'll make it to his age and beyond. History is not destiny, and bad things happen every day. I try to not be a slave to either.

 

[pb4uski]

... This hard working loyal company man worked for 35 years and retired at a reasonably early age (62…early for our company) for a retirement that lasted such a short time. ....

Sorry for your loss Luvtoride. Unfortunately, it is not an unusual story. I recall that a great uncle of mine died when I was in college. He LBYM and scrimped and saved his entire career for "his retirement" and died while mowing the lawn about a year after he retired. His experience caused me to want to balance having fun today with saving for tomorrow. Luckily, I worked hard and have a lucrative career and was able to do a bit of both.

 

[Yoheadden]

My condolences to Luvtoride and for everyone else. This thread reminded me of a recent experience I had. I was in my basement where we have an older phone and preprogrammed names and numbers. Most times I don’t pay much attention to it, but for some reason I began looking at the names of family and friends. 6 of the 10 are no longer with us. I just keep reading them in disbelief.
Life is not gauranteed for any of us and this is not a trial run. Live life like each day is our last, because one day, it will be.

 

[Luvtoride]

PB, Yo, Fla and all,
Thanks for the kind words and your personal stories of loss. I know we have all suffered losses of friends and loved ones much too soon in their (and ours) lives. It does impact us in various ways But in particular to this forum it does make me think about RE in a more focused and urgent way.

All very true words about not knowing how much time we will have (part of what makes FIRE so uncertain) and what our health issues and challenges may be during our remaining years.

I appreciate the positive attitudes of most folks here. Simply put, unless you really love your work/ job do you really want (need) to spend your remaining time accumulating and working vs. deciding what gives us the most joy and pleasure. It sounds like universally here, it’s the latter.

Thanks and Happy Labor Day to all.

 

[MRG]

Nobody knows what the future holds at least in the short term. I've been retired 8 years and it's amazing how many people have passed. Some younger, 50s, some in good health. One stubborn sob died from the flu, too stubborn to go to a doctor.

I just learned of a former peer/mentor who I think the world of. At 72 he's in assisted living. I'm not sure what happened other than he didn't handle being RIFFed very well. I'm going to make a phone call to him, I've made a couple of calls to guys who don't breathe anymore. I struggle to accept his condition I remember a strong healthy guy who would sometimes call me a neer-do-well.

Condolences to everyone who has lost a spouse, child, loved ones.

 

[Out of Steam]

I was at a wedding last month and saw a couple where I grew up with the husband; both looked genuinely frail despite being under 70. She may still be under 65.

I stood up several times to assist them with doors and stairs.

 

[pacergal]

My condolences to all.
DH has lost several high school buddies in the last two years. Another one has been fighting brain cancer for a few years and we were informed he is now in hospice, expect a call about his passing soon.
Life happens, death is a part of the process. Make informed decisions, those made during emotionally charged times may not be the best for you.

Take care all. Be happy, healthy, and live life well!

 

[Steeler75]

“When you get the chance, dance”.

Condolences all around.

Lost my oldest brother at 51, DW’s BIL at 50, BFF two older bro’s at 50 and 53, with cancer the disease de jur. Certainly had an impact on my decision to ER at 54. Try to live life like today is your last, but prepare for it not to be.

Be well.

 

[Out of Steam]

So many sad stories.

Whatever the difficulty of living through the pandemic, and a loss of some planned income and social opportunities, it's a huge relief not to be trying to push through it with a regular job. Especially since the job I retired from returned to in-person work quite early along.

 

[Souschef]

It never stops, unfortunately. I just got an e-mail for my former boss that the husband of one of my former coworkers died suddenly. She came home and found him.

 

[ncbill]

I was at a wedding last month and saw a couple where I grew up with the husband; both looked genuinely frail despite being under 70. She may still be under 65.

I stood up several times to assist them with doors and stairs.

I've posted this before but after mom was diagnosed with dementia around age 50 the disease aged her so rapidly that medical providers just assumed she was already on Medicare...which meant delays over a year in getting some bills.

 

[Starsky]

At my work at a Fortune 50 company, there was a common story that 50% of management that retired, died within 5 years. Whether true or not, it was a great parable that motivated my desire to retire early.

Perhaps to make the point sink in, late in my career, the very early passing of two of my key employees (and friends) within 6 months; and then a young-ish friend - and my Dad and MIL - within the next year, very much influenced my decision to retire shortly thereafter. (Along with being a financial position to do so.) DW was NOT happy about my unilateral decision - I don't blame her - but I was cooked and couldn't go on. I'm so grateful that I did, because after retiring very early at 53, I had a huge heart attack at 55 that 100% would have killed me if I were in the office [on a Tuesday morning]. I dodged a bullet and just barely avoided the fate of one-half of my management peers.

Only you can decide when you've had enough of the rat race. Retirement has been so much better than I anticipated; and we've been fortunate to retire at a good time for our investments. Both my DW and I now know it was the 100% right decision for us, and we are so appreciative.

While there may be no guarantees retirement will work out like you expect; there are also no guarantees you'll even be here to enjoy it. That's just an inescapable fact. The years you put off retirement are like boats that are burned to continue the expedition. There's no going back. Early Retirement is a huge adjustment, but it represents the ability to lead the rest of your life, your way. It doesn't get better than that.

 

[Koolau]

I add my condolences to those who have lost folks (especially too early.) I've been attending a lot of funerals lately and it has motivated me to think ahead and plan for myself.

I managed to buy an insurance policy from the family business that had been for a buy-sell agreement funding plan. My sister bought hers as well. Not normally a huge fan of insurance, but these policies are so old that I qualified as a good risk at the time. Now, not so much. So I feel a bit like a guy going into the casino with a few aces stuck up his sleeve.

I'm also actively looking into estate planning. It's time to get that behind me.

Losses tend to focus our attention so while sad or even tragic, losses can be a great motivator to those of us who remain. Live now. Live well. Retire Early! YMMV

 

[Out of Steam]

I've posted this before but after mom was diagnosed with dementia around age 50 the disease aged her so rapidly that medical providers just assumed she was already on Medicare...which meant delays over a year in getting some bills.

I understand there is a mental illness element with this couple, as well. It doesn't take anything as serious as dementia to have problems with self-care.

 

[street]

Sorry to read about your loss. I wish you strength going forward.