Frugal or Cheapskate

[Bestwifeever]

Tell him to get his own girlfriend/wife to cut his hair. My girlfriend cuts my hair every 2 or 3 weeks short the way I like it.

There's your solution, Enuf2eat--send your BIL over to Joe's girlfriend when he needs a trim!

Also, welcome, Joe!

 

[bbbamI]

 

[Notmuchlonger]

I have a brother-in-law obsess with his hair being extremely short so EVERY two three weeks he would call and bother my wife on Sunday, (the only day of the week where both my wife and I get a day off) and beg for a free hair cut. It was all fine and dandy til 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th... time but I can NOT take it anymore. So I sent him an email asking him not to bother us anymore. Guess what, he came and sweet talk my wife again and she starts to feel sorry for him and beginning to give in.

What am I to do?? Am I too greedy? Keep in mind my bil will live another 40 years, how many damm hair cut are we gonna have to do? DW wants to move to get away but forgot that he drives too. A typical Sunday for us is jam packed. With two young children, a deteriorating house, a business, a mil to care for, we are lucky to have 1 hr to ourselves.

Please, someone tells me what to do....

Are you his only family? Perhaps he feels lonely. Stop being a prick.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

Are you his only family? Perhaps he feels lonely. Stop being a prick.

His other sister live about 2 min walks with her husband and their children and his other brother is another 2 min walks, also have a wife and kids. Their spouses will not tolerate him living in their house like the way he lived with us. I used to be the "good" guy. I guess I am Jerk now.

 

[Kroeran]

maybe buy him a membership:

www.eharmony.com

 

[Texas Proud]

Ohhh... I forgot to answer the question...

Cheapskate

 

[bbbamI]

Ohhh... I forgot to answer the question...

Cheapskate

Ditto....

 

[Kroeran]

after re-reading the postings and thinking a bit...

I have seen a pattern where socially maladjusted individuals, who are incapable of maintaining normal balanced winwin tit-for-tat mutually beneficial relationships, end up in parasitic relationships with "kind-hearted" (wuss) relatives. I think they call this co-dependence.

This totally different than showing compassion for a widowed or divorced aunt or sister or the elderly or disabled.

I am not sure that enabling this guy is good for him. The upside is that DW will have a buddy to move in when they are old and you are in the ground.

Given that he will not respond to a direct order from you, and that DW is not going to put her foot down, maybe think in terms of pest control...like dealing with pigeons....look for ways to make his visits uncomfortable.

Play music that he does not like.

When he arrives, insist that he help you for a few minutes with carrying something or moving something.

Ask him to pick something up on the way over....forget to pay him.

When they do the haircut ceremony, subtly interfere...sit close by and watch, with a weird stare...take an interest and insist on doing some final trimming. Offer to cut his toenails.

make him coffee and be sure to do it in a way he does not like

key question - lets say you are on a trip or something and DL needs help with something....is he available to jump in...or is he just a user?

 

[Enuff2Eat]

key question - lets say you are on a trip or something and DL needs help with something....is he available to jump in...or is he just a user?

honest answer. Yes but reluctantly so we don't ask.

He does helps a little around and at time we appreciate him too.
Don't get me wrong, he is a good person but the "favors" that he did for us is nothing compare to what we do for him (only IMO). The stupidity is on my part. I am so afraid of asking him to do anything, because he will ask me 6 times more for returing the favor.

I was wondering If I am in the rough, will he put me in his house for a year? No. Someone told me once "too comfortable = abusive". If you are nice, people can get "comfortable" and abuse the relationship. I guess, this my bottom line feelings.

again, I am just unloading. thanks all.

 

[TromboneAl]

Problem solved.