Gifts to Relatives

[Dawg52]

It is rare that DW and I have not gotten a thank you response if we have given a gift. We feel that saying "thank you" for a gift is basic courtesy and manners, and has nothing to do with "expecting something in return". It does not have to be a long handwritten letter wrapped in silk and scented with perfume - a text message is perfectly fine.

Regardless of what generation one is part of, if one was not taught to express "thanks" when a gift is received, then one was not raised right.

Over the years I always sent cards and money to my nephew's & niece on their b'day when they were growing up. On my b'day their mother would send a card with the kiddies signature on the card. Sometimes a gift certificate included. After the kids were on their own, no cards or call whatsoever. They probably don't have a clue as to the date of my b'day. Along the way I stopped sending anything either. Sometimes I do see them on Christmas and we exchange gifts then. Oh well....not unusual so it seems.

 

[Crewer]

My birthday is the same as my daughter’s so it’s usually a big deal. I’m sure my nieces and nephews get birthday wishes from their parents and vice versa. But when my mother went into assisted living I figured I had to take over her birthday-wish duty and I’ve been sending small amounts of money and cards to my niece and nephews ever since.

I usually get thank yous, mostly via text or email. I’m going to continue even it isn’t acknowledged. In fact I’m upping my game to include more people, especially those who no longer have parents around.

I also really try to keep in personal touch with the niece and nephews – visit at least once a year and some emails or texts. Family is number one, whatever they do or don't do. That's also a lesson to my kids (them seeing me do it). (My kids and nieces and nephews are all in mid 20s up to 31 yo. None are married, some are FI and some are special needs. It's family.)

 

[Sojourner]

Silly kid (well, he's mid-20's), could have had nice checks from his aunt (my DW) probably forever if he would have called or written once in a while and coached his mother to stay out of it.

Actually this is probably best for everyone, especially the 20-something. He'll be much better off in the long run learning how to provide for himself without "economic outpatient assistance," so in an ironic twist, the fact that he never said thank you for all the cash gifts probably will work to his benefit ultimately.

 

[Badger]

Appreciate the responses. They are good kids and I see them 3-4 times/year. Three of them adore animals and considered donating to PAWS Chicago(4 * animal charity) in their name. I asked one niece does she like a surprise gift or cash. "Cash is king" she said, she's in college.

I realize a gift of any kind is a gift and should not require a response or thank you. I'll keep giving. I'm just feeling maudlin and self pitying today.

I think you have a great idea. If you feel good about helping the animals and they feel good about helping the animals and I'm sure the animals would appreciate the help then this is a win - win - win.


Cheers!