How Happy are You?

[bbbamI]

Rewahoo...I'm so sorry for you and your brother.

 

[Dawg52]

I voted "mostly cheerful" earlier today, but I need to change my vote. Just got a phone call informing me that my only surviving brother was diagnosed with lung cancer today.

I can sure relate to what Moemg said about being nervous about being too happy...

Damn, I'm really sorry. I can relate to this as my only brother retired at 50 and seemed to be happy. But at 53, a cancerous tumor appeared on his back. I hope your brother has better luck than mine did.

As you know, I just retired and I am excited about playing golf daily but I definitely fall into the 'nervous about being too happy' camp.

 

[haha]

Wahoo, very sorry. I hope your brother does well.

Ha

 

[JPatrick]

Very sorry to hear about your brother.
Many "ups and downs" ahead for both of you.
It is quite possible that the ups will out number the downs--and that is my wish for you.

 

[REWahoo]

bbb, Dog, Ha, JPatrick...thanks.

 

[donheff]

Sorry ReW my brother (56) got diagnosed with lung cancer about three months ago. He is level 3B which is bad but chemo seems to be shrinking his tumors so he may get more time than he expected. He appears to have a pretty positive attitude given the outlook.

 

[REWahoo]

donheff, glad to hear your brother is doing well. I've had four (now 5) people relatively close to me become victims of lung cancer and only one was fortunate enough to have reasonably good results from chemo/radiation treatments. He got a couple of good years after his diagnosis and I hope your brother does even better.

 

[saluki9]

ReW - Don't give up the fight before it has begun. My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer 2 years ago which is almost always terminal. Two years later she is healthy, active, and other than holding her breath during her 3 month scans she is living well.

As for me, I have a roof over my head, a wife who doesn't totally despise me, an awesome dog, a job I don't hate going to, and some decent savings.

I can't find a worthy reason to complain. Things aren't perfect, but the fact is they never are. I also think that your outlook on life is shaped so much by your family growing up. My family is full of optimists. My father has never complained in his life about ANYTHING. For him things are always getting better, and that is how he sees life. He passed that on to me. My wife's family despite their financial success sees everything from a "glass half empty" perspective. I've never understood it. Life is too short to live that way.

I'm now trying to "fix" my wife from her upbringing. After 10 years of being together it's finally working.

 

[REWahoo]

Saluki, yeah I realize I'm spreading the black paint around pretty liberally. I'm normally an optimist and I'll work through it.

Your mom is a very fortunate lady to be doing so well. Nice to hear some positive news.

 

[linkerbink]

"If you are really pleased with your life, what makes it so grand?" I'm FIRE'd!

I, too, lost my husband (15 years ago) during a time I was feeling that life couldn't be grander. But as a result, I decided to move back "home" and became closer to my siblings than I had been in years, and was also able spend 12 quality years with my mother, which probably would not have happened if my husband were still alive. So, no matter what happens in life, you can usually find a silver lining out there somewhere. And FIREing just adds luster!

 

[Outtahere]

REWahoo, I'm sorry about your brother, hopefully they will be abe to treat him and he'll be around for a good long time.

 

[happy2bretired]

I have my "ups and downs". Right now I'm on the down side...don't really know why tho. Vacation coming up next month, I KNOW that will help. All this rain sure doesn't help either.....ugggh!

 

[Eagle43]

REW,
Bad news, man. Sorry to hear it. You (I) just never know how lucky you are until you hear of someone else's woes. I hope he improves.

 

[LKH]

Wow! Seems like a lot of folks here have been through it (or are going through it). You'll be in my prayers, as will your family members. I think it's actually a lot harder to see a loved one go through something tough than it is to go through it yourself. My family had a lot harder time with my cancer than I did.

It seems amazing how some people can go through some really rough stuff and still keep hold on that inner joy. I think joy, as opposed to happiness, has little to do with circumstance, and much more to do with the spirit.

L

 

[mickj]

Wow! Seems like a lot of folks here have been through it (or are going through it). You'll be in my prayers, as will your family members. I think it's actually a lot harder to see a loved one go through something tough than it is to go through it yourself. My family had a lot harder time with my cancer than I did.

It seems amazing how some people can go through some really rough stuff and still keep hold on that inner joy. I think joy, as opposed to happiness, has little to do with circumstance, and much more to do with the spirit.

L

That reminds me of a quote I read somewhere... the opposite of depression isn't happiness but well being.

 

[Moemg]

Sorry Re wahoo about your brother .Sometimes life is tough.

 

[FinallyRetired]

Just got a phone call informing me that my only surviving brother was diagnosed with lung cancer today.

So sorry to hear that. I empathize with your sorrow, having gone through the same situation many years ago with my own only brother. We just had to take a day at a time and enjoy his good days for what they were. My sympathies.

 

[brewer12345]

Sorry about your brother, REwahoo.

 

[Jarhead*]

I voted "mostly cheerful" earlier today, but I need to change my vote. Just got a phone call informing me that my only surviving brother was diagnosed with lung cancer today.

I can sure relate to what Moemg said about being nervous about being too happy...

ReWahoo: Sorry to hear about your news about your brother. (Apparantly he is the one you took that road trip with a short time ago.)
News like that will put you in the "My life sucks for now" category in a heartbeat.

I have 7 brothers and sisters, who all have large families. Although we aren't geographically close, we get together once a year, at various locations, so we are a pretty close family.

Also with 2 daughters of my own, I have received many late night phone calls over the years that took me out of the "Cheerful", but "My life sucks for now stage.

Hang in there, pal.

Jarhead

 

[Sandy]

ReWahoo, sorry aout your brother. I wish him the best. I hope you can be a source of suuport for him; lending an ear or just distracting him doing the things you usually do together.


For me, at this time, I am pretty happy. I seem to have some natural cycles that don't really correspond to anything external. I just end up with a different perspective of the same things.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

rewahoo!, having a good friend who recently lost her brother to lung cancer, i know how scarey that can be. sometimes all we can do is hang in there. my own cousin just had a medical scare but we learned yesterday that bubba, her huge tumor, was not cancerous. i teared-up when she told me the good news and then took her to a real nice lunch yesterday.

one thing i notice about happiness is that it is not necessarily dependent upon life's circumstances. with all the pain i've endured since death began visiting my life, it never ceases to amaze me that, overall, i can still be happy. and even when i am not feeling so happy, i keep in mind that there are times when i am happy. and so i begin to realize that how i feel is somewhat independent of my experience. that i can experience happy times in a sad mood and--not to be psychopathic but that--i can experience sad times in a happy mood. indeed, i've broken out into heart felt laughter at more than one funeral.

how odd the life we walk through. this sentiment was summed up very well in the movie "life is beautiful" about surviving happy even in a nazi concentration camp. (ps. if anyone says that reference cuts off this topic, i'm going to point & scream that you are a bloody racist.)

hopefully, rewahoo!, you will be able to survive your brother's cancer and still maintain your smile.

 

[Sue J]

I grew up with a mother with severe depression. She wasn't properly treated until I was already grown and out of the house. This has been an underlying theme in our family.

But despite this, I seem to have been blessed with the "happiness" gene. I admit I haven't had any major tragedies, but there have been things to deal with, difficulties to cope with, losses to accept, adjustments to make.

Someone once suggested that my attitude is a result of my mother's depression, that I am determined to not be like her. I just have an underlying joy in life, I'm just glad that when I wake up that nothing hurts and I get to live another day.

And then I wonder if my "luck" will run out, the phone will ring and I'll be dealt news that will knock my feet out from under me. I suppose that anyone who is a parent, or a spouse, or a son or daughter, or a sibling or a friend can have that happen.

 

[Dawg52]

donheff, glad to hear your brother is doing well. I've had four (now 5) people relatively close to me become victims of lung cancer and only one was fortunate enough to have reasonably good results from chemo/radiation treatments. He got a couple of good years after his diagnosis and I hope your brother does even better.

Just curious, did your brother smoke and the other 4 smoke? Seems like you hear of a lot of people now days getting lung cancer that never smoked.

 

[LKH]

how odd the life we walk through. this sentiment was summed up very well in the movie "life is beautiful" about surviving happy even in a nazi concentration camp. (ps. if anyone says that reference cuts off this topic, i'm going to point & scream that you are a bloody racist.)

I'll scream with you. I know a number of Holocaust survivors who are a shining example of being able to live through hell and come out with great joy and contentment. Me, I get depressed just seeing movies about that era. It horrifies me that humanity is capable of that level of evil, that so many "average" people like you and me knew and looked the other way. And it did not end after WWII. We're still looking the other way while monsters around the world are doing exactly what the Nazi's did.

Hey, great way to start a morning depressed!!! Sorry, everybody!

 

[FinanceDude]

donheff, glad to hear your brother is doing well. I've had four (now 5) people relatively close to me become victims of lung cancer and only one was fortunate enough to have reasonably good results from chemo/radiation treatments. He got a couple of good years after his diagnosis and I hope your brother does even better.

Man, that's horrible........... My sympathy to you.........