It's funny joke Thursday! - 2021

[Car-Guy]

Spot on....

 

[Car-Guy]

Things I have thought about while having a glass of wine....

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, nigh time.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. I need to back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
6. I just got lost in a thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

[Car-Guy]

Maybe this is how it really happened....

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

New twists on an older one - Bad day for new jokes


It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 56.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

 

[Car-Guy]

And a few Chuck Norris jokes for today. Some new, some old. Hard to believe he turned 81 this month...


Once Chuck Norris’s leg fell on banana skin and the earth slipped from below.

Chuck Norris had a fight with God and see now God is in heaven.

What does GOD exclaim when he is shocked? Oh my Chuck Norris!!

The Bermuda triangle used to be the Bermuda square, until Chuck Norris kicked one of the corners off

When Chuck Norris stares at the sun in anger, the sun hides behind the moon and this phenomenon is knows as a Solar Eclipse!

CHUCK NORRIS once kicked a man. It was later discovered he was the first man on the moon.

Chuck Norris’s pulse is measured on the Richter scale.

Once upon a time dinosaurs borrowed money from CHUCK NORRIS and didn’t pay him back. That was the last day when anyone saw Dinosaurs.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And a new Chuck Norris meme for today: Well it was new to me...

 

[Leo1277]

Since we are talking about computer technology: Operating system update of the B747-400 to this day, no kidding.

 

[Leo1277]

My first portable computer, 1987. Runs on 10 D Cell batteries. Very advanced as it had an LCD screen and not a CRT, and at just the right angle, you could even read the screen. Used same operating system media 30 years ago as the Boeing 747 today.

 

[Leo1277]

Very early mobile computing - Take that, Iphone!

 

[Leo1277]

"Like the rest of the office of the future, it's available at Honeywell today".

 

[Leo1277]

The latest in hard disks, big enough it could have stored the whole jpg image of this ad in one shot.

 

[Leo1277]

A valid reason for ER

 

[Qs Laptop]

Since we are talking about computer technology: Operating system update of the B747-400 to this day, no kidding.

Actually, might be harder for someone to hack. No USB port to plug in a virus-laden thumb drive. Probably not connected to the internet either.

 

[Nemo2]

I tried to access the Joke Thread but seem to have been redirected to the Geek Thread instead.

 

[MichaelB]

If y’all want to post about tech from back in the day, the technology forum is the perfect place https://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f54/

 

[aja8888]

I tried to access the Joke Thread but seem to have been redirected to the Geek Thread instead.

Have to agree here. Some of that tech is near as old as you and I.

(and it's not funny!)

 

[Leo1277]

Good point; but fortunately tech ages faster than humans, more like dog years. Now to nudge the thread back from engineering:

 

[Leo1277]

Drag and Drop, the solution to computer frustration:

 

[Leo1277]

The Dog, a multi-purpose tool:

 

[Leo1277]

Now, who woulda thunk that!

 

[Leo1277]

Kids, learn all you really need to know in South Bend, Indiana!

 

[Car-Guy]

This will be my final post before I start my personal sabbatical from the funny joke thread. Hope I've brought a few laughs to some of you during the pandemic. Before you all start cheering , I'll be back to the thread when I can finding some better material.

Shooters should get a good laugh out of this one. If you don't understand what's wrong in this picture (hard to believe), you shouldn't ever try to shoot a rifle.

 

[Leo1277]

Car-Guy is heading to the airport for his well-deserved sabbatical (Thanks for the wealth of nice posts, hope you come back with more soon!). He parks his car, and walks to the payment kiosk, where he has to punch in the number of his parking spot. What is this number?

(Please post answer below without the reason why; I will reveal tomorrow)

 

[Leo1277]

Elon Musk promises that in the next update, they'll switch the Tesla Model 3 to Energizer, and the range will double.

 

[Leo1277]

Recently seen in Anchorage: