Strangest Thing I have Said On A Date
This is from an ancient post where I was pondering taking a buyout and retiring (
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/oh-hell-what-do-i-do-if-the-answer-is-yes-24619.html ) if you want the whole thread, but this is the relevant excerpt:
Oh hell, what do I do now? I had this experience what seems like a lifetime ago at a London penthouse party. I was invited by British friend and this was a party out of my class/comfort zone (I was working for the US Navy in London). These were the really rich (my friend was a financial advisor to the Rothchild family) & the beautiful, a party like you see in movies. There was one stunningly beautiful gal wearing a plunging, black velvet long dress, looked right out of the Black Velvet liquor ads if anyone recalls those ads. I talked to her a little and was smitten. I had to leave the party with my friend who had invited me, I didn't get to talk to Sandra much. A day or two later I asked my friend about how I could contact or find out more about Sandra.and he asked if I were "serious" (I have no idea what the Brits mean by that term in that context. ) Anyway a week or two later he passes me her phone number. I was more than pleasantly surprised. So I called her, perfectly well prepared to be declined, scorned or worse. And then I asked her out and she said----yes. Then it hit me, holy s&%t, now what do I do?
The rest of the story:
OK, since some have asked I will finish reporting about my time with Sandra. It is probably not what you expect and maybe a bit mystical. I still remember the first dinner with Sandra, where we went and what we said. In that first date exchange she asked basically what I want in life. I remember my answer very clearly because it was a surprise to watch the words come out of my mouth. I said that I want a sense of peace. She asked what I meant, I said well someone could come in her with a 45 and rob me and maybe shoot me but I would not be unnerved or overwhelmed. As I said that I couldn’t believe what I was saying as I had never said things like that on a date or pretty much to anyone, it was like watching myself speak in a foreign language I didn’t recognize. But she must have liked what I said as we had a good time and went on many more dates over the next several months. She was an internally driven person, doing *exactly* what she wanted to. She was managing a (horse) riding academy which was pretty classy and was quitting to become a stewardess (or in flight attendant?) much lower on the social & financial scale, and she hung out with me when she had the Rolls Royce set if she wanted. I still remember how attractive she was, one time we went to a fancy dress (costume) party and she dressed as a mouse which was tights and a Playboy bunny type sort of black velvet swim suit type thing. Guys were bumping into things watching her. Now there was one frustrating thing about hanging out with someone more attractive than Catherine Zeta Jones (wrong type-Sandra was a blonde, but with that impact) who genuinely delighted in each others presence except----- for not having sex. After a while I thought well, I really think she likes me so I will just not see her for a while until she ‘comes around’. And she left for her flying job, she was multilingual but couldn’t wait for Air France so went with Air Lingus (sp?) as they were hiring immediately. I soon found a very nice girl who was pretty good in the missing department. I didn’t pine over Sandra, we never really had a commitment, but I thought of her frequently enough, sometimes thinking myself a dolt for stopping seeing her.
About a year later my friend Peter asked me if I had heard about Sandra. I said no. She had died of stomach cancer. It all just sort of fit better. She had been given a year to live when she met me and was living the way she wanted. You can have your own psychological/spiritual explanation but I am convinced that she heard from me what she needed to hear and whatever it is I said I felt more like a spectator that the speaker but that was fine with me then and is still OK by me now.
After meeting him though an online dating website, I was nervous about giving him my address and phone number. More nervous than with other people, because he was so intelligent and smooth as silk, not the average, run of the mill guy. I honestly didn't know what to make of him and he scared me. Anyway we met for coffee and dinner six times before I would tell him where I lived or give him my full name, much less have sex. 
. The trouble was the crass way he chose to raise the topic - totally not in keeping with the way he'd treated me up to then. Too bad, he was cute, but then, so was I -- his loss....
