Indeed. And being on the receiving end of deception puts the adultery scenario in a different, very painful, light. I have to say that when I was going through divorce I suddenly understood how the "wronged" spouse could feel like hurting the one she/he loved so devotedly. There's some primal reaction that happens when that love bond is broken, especially by adultery.
Omni, I wanted to reply to one phrase in your OP. Getting over a long term love affair "more quickly" is probably not the best idea. Although feeling that pain is excruciating, and no one wants to do that, finding another partner quickly is the certain way to further heartbreak.
I can recommend a book that helped me understand this special kind of grieving process. "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher.
Rebuilding, 3rd ed. from Impact Publishers
There are support groups that use the book and are led by a professional therapist.
Fisher Rebuilding Seminar Locations
What Ha said about really digging deeply and discovering how you contributed to the break up is profound and something that I feel is extremely important.
And, oh yeah, the dog idea from Leftbucket is superb. My dog has been literally an emotional life support at times. And, despite the negative view of our society toward singles and being alone, it's really ok (4 years post divorce).