Texting Etiquette?

[Midpack]

I’m in the midst of another totally unnecessary group text kerfuffle. I’m convinced the problems are worse with our generation because of the wider range of tech adoption. Where millennials are all very tech savvy having grown up with it, seniors range from highly tech savvy to proud luddites (and everything in between) who use smartphones only because the have to. Some people want a phone call or face to face to do anything…and take it out on others online. First world problems…

 

[Katsmeow]

I am kind of bemused by all these posts about group texts. I very, very rarely am on any group texts. I guess some people are in a lot of them. I am glad that I'm not really.

One thing I've discovered that has made my life a lot easier is having the ability to read/write texts on my computer.

I have a Windows PC and an iPhone so can't read/write directly on computer (I can on iPad of course). However, my keyboard is bluetooth and can switch by a button press between using it for my computer and phone. For long texts (DS and I sometimes exchange very long texts) it is so much easier to type on the computer.

because I



pay 10cents for



each text that



is sent.

I think that currently it is reasonable for people to assume that they don't pay per individual text. If I knew someone did then I wouldn't text them except in extreme emergency. But, AFAIK, I don't know anyone who pays for texts.

But texts are not a substitute for email.

I completely agree. In my view texts and email service different purposes. However, I acknowledge that my view on this has lost. When I want my adult kids to read my email for something much more suited to email I need to text them to tell them to read email. They get indignant at the very thought they might routinely check their email every day (or ever for that matter).

I gave up on this one after it demanded that I log on with my Microsoft account. I don't have one and don't plan on getting one. I see no reason why M$ has to be in the middle between MY phone and MY computer.

Because you are using a Microsoft app? I mean it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that a Microsoft app would require use of a Microsoft account... If you don't want one then it might not be the app for you.

 

[Music Lover]

I am kind of bemused by all these posts about group texts. I very, very rarely am on any group texts. I guess some people are in a lot of them. I am glad that I'm not really.

Each to their own. Group texts are useful for people with multiple family members who keep in touch via text. For me they're handy for my golf group and both of my bands. One text is sent to 4 or 5 people at once.

 

[CaptTom]

Because you are using a Microsoft app? I mean it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that a Microsoft app would require use of a Microsoft account... If you don't want one then it might not be the app for you.

It's not.

But for the record, there's absolutely no reason the app needs to connect to a Microsoft server, or require a Microsoft account, just to run the app. We've all been using local software for decades now, and until recently the vendor would never require logging on unless there's a cloud component.

It's data harvesting, pure and simple. I find it offensive and I won't participate.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

We can see when texts are read.

This is important to note. Most of the Android messages apps now set this notification as default, so if you want to "slytext" you have to disable it. I believe Apple does the same thing.

Oye...and voice to text. Gag me. I guess some folks either slur when they talk or don't proof the message before sending. Great technology, but not today.

 

[Qs Laptop]

Oye...and voice to text. Gag me. I guess some folks either slur when they talk or don't proof the message before sending. Great technology, but not today.

The new Pixel 6 phones deliberately targeted this feature and have an incredibly improved voice-to-text app that really works great.

 

[CaptTom]

OK, random thought:

Why don't we have the option to be notified again if we miss the first notification (ding or vibrate) of a text?

This used to be a feature of all pagers. (Remember them?)

With the expectation of an immediate response, I sometimes come across as rude because I was running a power tool, or just dispensing ice from the fridge, the moment the notification came in.

 

[Midpack]

I am kind of bemused by all these posts about group texts. I very, very rarely am on any group texts. I guess some people are in a lot of them. I am glad that I'm not really.

Each to their own. Group texts are useful for people with multiple family members who keep in touch via text. For me they're handy for my golf group and both of my bands. One text is sent to 4 or 5 people at once.

+1. We coordinate 8 to 20 players for golf twice a week. There is no reasonable alternative to group texting - not email, phone calls or in person.

 

[aja8888]

OK, random thought:

Why don't we have the option to be notified again if we miss the first notification (ding or vibrate) of a text?

This used to be a feature of all pagers. (Remember them?)

With the expectation of an immediate response, I sometimes come across as rude because I was running a power tool, or just dispensing ice from the fridge, the moment the notification came in.

You reminded me......

My teenage daughters were bought pagers by their concerned single (at the time) Dad (me). Just a few excuses I recall:

The battery was dead.
I left it in the car.
It was so noisy here, I didn't hear it go off.
It was in my jacket pocket which was in the car.
I was sleeping when it went off so I didn't hear it.
I lost it. (great)
It doesn't work all the time.
I thought it was (whoever is with her) her pager.
There was no phone around to call you back.
The buttons on the pager don't work right.
It fell in the toilet.

 

[braumeister]

OK, random thought:

Why don't we have the option to be notified again if we miss the first notification (ding or vibrate) of a text?

This used to be a feature of all pagers. (Remember them?)

With the expectation of an immediate response, I sometimes come across as rude because I was running a power tool, or just dispensing ice from the fridge, the moment the notification came in.

Messages app on the iPhone lets you select how many times the notification will repeat if you ignore it. 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, or none. The default is 1.

Go to Settings, Notifications, Messages, Customize Notifications, Repeat Alerts

 

[ERhoosier]

Yes, and it's totally seamless.

Until your iPhone & Mac suddenly stop connecting like happened to me today.

Apparently they had a fight and didn't tell me they had stopped speaking to one another. Poor human caught in the middle of some IT domestic squabble.

 

[braumeister]

Until your iPhone & Mac suddenly stop connecting like happened to me today.

Apparently they had a fight and didn't tell me they had stopped speaking to one another. Poor human caught in the middle of some IT domestic squabble.

That happens with all devices. Rebooting will fix the problem in 99% of cases.

 

[WWDog]

I believe in KISS. I have never and will never text. Problem solved. If someone wants to contact me either pick up the phone and call me (I know how old fashioned) or send me an email if it is not time sensitive.


PS Have you ever gone out to eat and see a table where everybody is texting on their cell phones and nobody is talking? Put the cell phone down and interact with real people in your presence. People are forgetting how to interact in person.

 

[Music Lover]

I believe in KISS. I have never and will never text. Problem solved. If someone wants to contact me either pick up the phone and call me (I know how old fashioned) or send me an email if it is not time sensitive.

Texts are just as simple as a phone call and in many cases are preferable. And they're basically exactly the same as an email. Some of my golf buddies and band mates still work and sending a text that they can answer at their leisure is better than a phone call.

I certainly don't miss trading answering messages with people.

PS Have you ever gone out to eat and see a table where everybody is texting on their cell phones and nobody is talking? Put the cell phone down and interact with real people in your presence. People are forgetting how to interact in person.

Yes, I have. But that's the fault of the person, not the technology. My cell phone is for my convenience and if I'm busy it's ignored.

There are wonderful features that cell phones have that regular phones don't have. We both have aging parents and knowing that they can reach us or Lifeline can reach my wife at any time gives us peace of mind. We're currently 3000 kms from home and our parents can reach us if need be whether we're driving or on the beach.

They also have a "do not disturb" option that allows us to block all calls and notifications except for our chosen exceptions. That means my phone is silent all night and the only people that can get through are my parents, my wife, or her daughter. On my wife's phone the exceptions are her parents, daughter, and Lifeline.

 

[CardsFan]

Texts are just as simple as a phone call and in many cases are preferable. And they're basically exactly the same as an email. Some of my golf buddies and band mates still work and sending a text that they can answer at their leisure is better than a phone call.

I certainly don't miss trading answering messages with people.


Yes, I have. But that's the fault of the person, not the technology. My cell phone is for my convenience and if I'm busy it's ignored.

There are wonderful features that cell phones have that regular phones don't have. We both have aging parents and knowing that they can reach us or Lifeline can reach my wife at any time gives us peace of mind. We're currently 3000 kms from home and our parents can reach us if need be whether we're driving or on the beach.

They also have a "do not disturb" option that allows us to block all calls and notifications except for our chosen exceptions. That means my phone is silent all night and the only people that can get through are my parents, my wife, or her daughter. On my wife's phone the exceptions are her parents, daughter, and Lifeline.

Bingo!!

While we were both initially put off by texting, it is the best way to communicate when time is NOT of the essence.

"Do you want to go to lunch Friday?" I don't need answer in 10 minutes. Tomorrow would be fine.

If it is more urgent, I call.

 

[TappyGee]

Good rules for everyone:
1. No group texts. They are the pits.
2. Every person has a different texting style just as all other communications types vary by person. Accept it, meet each where they are at, and be glad you have people who want to communicate with you at all.

 

[Bunker]

Where I live (overseas/outside USA), everyone uses a free App called LINE, rather than the phone text/SMS system, which you're locked into based on your phone number.



I used to be part of 1 or 2 LINE groups with 3 or more people in it. Most of the time just random comments, jokes and porn. I began screening the truncated version in the quick peek notification window, which doesn't register as a full "READ" message within the chat screen. After a while, people got the idea that I'm unreliable, and then I opted out of Group Chats altogether. If somebody needs to contact me with a time-sensitive message, send to me directly, or call. It was weird at first, felt anti-social, but after a couple months of peace and quiet, I like it.

 

[papaof2]

I simply do NOT send group texts. If more than one person needs to know something, I'll write it up then copy and paste to as many people as need to know. That way it gets sent to everyone in the same minute or so and the replies only come to me. If the recipients need to know who else knows, I'll add "Copies to Smiths, Jones, Brown" to the message.
Easier to head off the "everybody gets all the responses" of a group text.

 

[Midpack]

Good rules for everyone:
1. No group texts. They are the pits.
2. Every person has a different texting style just as all other communications types vary by person. Accept it, meet each where they are at, and be glad you have people who want to communicate with you at all.

So how would you organize 8-20 people twice a week, when everyone’s schedule could change each week. 20 phone calls? 20 individual texts? Group email (same potential issues as group texts)?

I simply do NOT send group texts. If more than one person needs to know something, I'll write it up then copy and paste to as many people as need to know. That way it gets sent to everyone in the same minute or so and the replies only come to me. If the recipients need to know who else knows, I'll add "Copies to Smiths, Jones, Brown" to the message.
Easier to head off the "everybody gets all the responses" of a group text.

I’ll pass on sending the same message 20 times vs once. IME the vast majority of group texts go fine, but some do go off the rails - that’s what I was asking about.

And it appears you can do bcc: texts with Android phones to accomplish the same thing without any cut-n-paste. I don’t see that functionality on iPhones (yet) - that would help a lot.

 

[ERhoosier]

That happens with all devices. Rebooting will fix the problem in 99% of cases.

Good suggestion, but did not help in my case. Turns out my Messages preferences had gotten corrupted. Reset Messages Preferences on my Mac, turned iMessage off & back on in my iPhone, and my iWorld harmony was restored

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I believe in KISS. I have never and will never text. Problem solved. If someone wants to contact me either pick up the phone and call me (I know how old fashioned) or send me an email if it is not time sensitive.


PS Have you ever gone out to eat and see a table where everybody is texting on their cell phones and nobody is talking? Put the cell phone down and interact with real people in your presence. People are forgetting how to interact in person.

I agree that people (generally speaking) are on their phones way too much and this has caused some societal issues. Nonetheless, as my DW has said, "If you aren't paying my bills, cooking for me, or fornicating with me, then what does it matter to you?"

As far as never, ever texting...that's great for you. For me, I look it as a useful tool. I use it for several reasons but *I* choose to use it...under my terms. This is true for most user-based technology.

 

[Midpack]

Bless the proud Luddites, they’re always part of the landscape…

 

[Qs Laptop]

Bless the proud Luddites, they’re always part of the landscape…

"Mabel, we ain't gittin' one a them new-fangled automatic garage openers. They're just trouble waitin' to happen. Burnin' more electricity, shootin' radio waves into my brain. Forget it!"

 

[hotwired]

texting

I'm 56 so I have lots of adult years in both worlds, (with and without text).

Unfortunately it's still too new I think to expect hard fast adherence to etiquette. I have a guy working for me who sometimes doesn't answer morning texts until after noon time. I really get annoyed with that. (He's a tin hat guy who thinks EMF is killing us and won't put his phone in a pocket).

I completely disable group texting. I can send texts to groups (I have groups setup for my 22 tenants so I can text them all, or one building, but when they reply it only goes to me. I think "group chat mode" is almost certain to p*ss someone off and ought to be disabled in general as a "best practice")

I also annoy some of my associates by using voice to text. I send a freaking BOOK and they reply...hey man...love ya, but let's talk...it'll take me half the afternoon to reply to what you just sent!

 

[Pellice]

Texts are just as simple as a phone call and in many cases are preferable. And they're basically exactly the same as an email. Some of my golf buddies and band mates still work and sending a text that they can answer at their leisure is better than a phone call.

I do not agree that texts are basically the same as an email, due to differing lengths, search functions, indexing, and writing styles.

My friends and I use group texts for immediate plans and last minute adjustments, sometimes current weather and other observations. We use group emails to develop plans (you can include "considerations," pros and cons, speculative thoughts - just, basically, development). We use emails to give details about our projects (why we chose that paint color, requests for thoughts on the next step, etc.) We use email to chat at length about news of the day. You get the picture.

A text would never do for any of this. We can easily search our emails, put them in a folder, use them in replies or cut and pastes. A text is a different medium, more like a contact call among parrots "where are you?" "are you coming soon?" "We went right instead of left."