Headlines

[REWahoo]

"Its funny joke Thursday" is the most popular thread on the forum, with over 700 posts. Thought maybe we would start a new one for "headlines" found online or anywhere else.

On CNN: "Congress having trouble passing anything"

 

[SteveR]

On CNN:  "Congress having trouble passing anything"

Considering they are some of the biggest @ssholes around...I find that surprising.

 

[Sundance Kid]

HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO YOUR FOREHEAD!! (Repeat three times.)

 

[Mwsinron]

Ha one of the better jokes Ive heard in a long time

 

[maddythebeagle]

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Teens learn to live with stuttttering.

 

[REWahoo]

"Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25"

"Jane Fonda to teens: use head to avoid pregnancy"

 

[REWahoo]

"Organ festival ends in smashing climax"

"War dims hope for peace"

 

[justin]

"Crowds cheer as area law school produces first honest attorney this decade"

 

[REWahoo]

"Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years"

"Child's stool great for use in garden"

 

[REWahoo]

"Crowds cheer as area law school produces first honest attorney this decade"

Justin, I think you're missing the point. These headlines are supposed to be actual, not fictional.

 

[justin]

Justin, I think you're missing the point. These headlines are supposed to be actual, not fictional.

Seriously, I read it in the New York Times, therefore it must be true.

 

[REWahoo]

Seriously, I read it in the New York Times, therefore it must be true.

Are you under oath?

 

[justin]

Are you under oath?

I'm pleading the 5th in response to that question.

 

[REWahoo]

You might be presidential material:

"Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead"

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Seriously, I read it in the New York Times, therefore it must be true.

And now I've seen it on the internet, so it must be doubly true...

 

[Arif]

I don't know about true but it sure is funny...
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

 

[Eagle43]

Crack found on Governor's daughter.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.

War Dims Hope For Peace.

 

[SteveR]

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

House passes gas tax onto senate

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

Farmer bill dies in house

Iraqi head seeks arms

 

[SteveR]

If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

War dims hope for peace

Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

Cold wave linked to temperatures

Child's death ruins couple's holiday

Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years

Man is fatally slain

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

 

[Cool Dood]

Guinea pigs hail 'mystical experience'

 

[bow-tie]

Seriously, I read it in the New York Times, therefore it must be true. 

I thought it was a headline from the Onion...

 

[justin]

I thought it was a headline from the Onion...

I get the two confused sometimes. Remind me - which one is a parody of real life again?

 

[REWahoo]

I get the two confused sometimes. Remind me - which one is a parody of real life again?

I would have expected you to respond "They both make me cry."

 

[Sundance Kid]

"Woman gets 21 months in dog cage escape of a convicted murderer."

She didn't really have to live in a dog cage!