Ladies...rules of thumb?

Good luck, SecondCor--enjoy the journey into DateLand. Only advice is to have an idea of where to spend the evening when you make the date, even if you invite her input; it's not good to have the "Where do you want to go?" "I dunno, where do you want to go?" "I don't care, you pick." "No, you choose." conversation even if you're just going out with a friend, let alone a date.

And read this thread before you go out :) : http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/the-case-against-remarriage-53299-16.html#post1057067
 
Guy here, but a short refresher course:

Always be yourself! This works best if handsome and well-to-do.

Be direct! Maybe wear that "I'm A Longhorn! (dog) T-shirt.

Everyone likes to shine so give your date a chance - how about suggesting she fix you a gourmet dinner?

That's about all I've got - suspect I'm not the only one glad I'm off the market....
 
calmloki said:
Guy here, but a short refresher course:

Always be yourself! This works best if handsome and well-to-do.
Click to expand...

Don't smoke, chew gum, scratch your rear end or pick your nose. :facepalm:

calmloki said:
Be direct! Maybe wear that "I'm A Longhorn! (dog) T-shirt.
Click to expand...

Uh, no. :nonono:

calmloki said:
Everyone likes to shine so give your date a chance - how about suggesting she fix you a gourmet dinner?
Click to expand...

I don't think so! Gourmet dinners have to be earned. Just like sex.

Hey, maybe that's why I'm single.....my standards are too high! :LOL:
 
I wouldn't presume to give a man dating advice. I only know how to give advice for attracting someone like me! :ROFLMAO:

Well, maybe one little piece. Don't talk about previous wives, girlfriends, S.O.'s. Biiiiig turn-off. I'm sure it works the other way 'round (women wanting to know how to act on dates with men).

Amethyst
 
Amethyst said:
I wouldn't presume to give a man dating advice. I only know how to give advice for attracting someone like me! :ROFLMAO:

Amethyst
Click to expand...
OK, after that lead-in you can't just go home. Let us know! :)

Ha
 
Amethyst said:
Well, maybe one little piece. Don't talk about previous wives, girlfriends, S.O.'s. Biiiiig turn-off. I'm sure it works the other way 'round (women wanting to know how to act on dates with men).

Amethyst
Click to expand...

True!!

Be yourself - even if you don't consider yourself the biggest catch on the market - it's about finding the right one for YOU...and her! :angel: (unless you are just trolling for fun in the sack in which case - listen to Brewer!! ;) >:D
 
My perspective as a guy is be yourself and be honest and do not guess or play games.

If you want to know if she wants to go out, you need to ask. Just be straight up with it. When you choose an activity for the date, movies are bad (because you cannot talk or get to know a person) and a sporting event with 20,000+ people has its pros and cons (lots of people around). If you can find something in the middle, that works. If you know some of your common friends on facebook, consider thinking about how she knows those common people and making that the subjects to talk about.

The conversation does not need to be too deep too soon. Just have 3-5 subjects to discuss. And a quiet atmosphere to do it. And expect to pay for the first date until you figure the rest out.
 
I voted in this poll.............but will not reveal the actual number..........but at least 3 digits.......
 
brewer12345 said:
Rosy Palmer and her 5 sisters do not count.
Click to expand...

Funny, funny. All I will say while not under oath was that from the age of 18 to 30, I had more fun than a man should be allowed to..........:cool::whistle:
 
You've gotten a lot of good responses so I'll just add a few bits from my perspective as a woman.

- You asked about giving her an "out" if she wants to say no. It's fine to just ask and let her respond in her own way. I think you'll be able to read the difference between a legitimate conflict and an excuse. Generally, if I wanted to go out with a man but was not available at the day/time, I would be honest and say that I would really like to, but can't on that day, and would like a raincheck or to do something another time.

- I give high marks to a man who behaves like a gentleman on the first date. Get the door for her, make sure she is comfortable at the table, ask a few questions about her, and by all means pick up the check. After the first date, it seems fair for a man and woman to take turns or split the bills (assuming both are in a financial position to do so), but it sends a better message if you pay on the first date, especially if you did the asking.

- At the end of the date, if you like her and had a good time, ask if you can see her again. I never saw the point in keeping someone hanging, waiting to see if there will be a second date.

- Do your best to be yourself and be confident about yourself. Self-confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a man.
 
Cor, you wanted women's ideas and I think this was a great idea. But one man's idea I would add- unless this woman lives in a mining camp, she is not overwhelmed with invitations from ardent men. So you have as much much right to stand into the batter's box as anyone, and a good chance of hitting safely.

So have at it, and be nice, but also let her try to entertain you a little. Especially as it is going to cost you some cash, don't leave all the payback for the future.

Ha
 
I am horrified by the thought of dating, having been married for 26 years. I met my husband on a blind date set up by a friend who thought we would fit together. I was terrified to go out, so I made my little children sit with me until he arrived, then I let them go next door to the baby sitter. When he saw them, he said "I don't like to date women with children." It couldn't have started off worse. But we eventually fell in love and he fell in love with my children and has been a wonderful dad to them. They are crazy about him. He can't even remember saying that statement, but I remember it!

It would be so much less pressure for both if you would ask her for coffee or a drink, just to get to know each other. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just low key and keep the stress down. After that, if you get along, you can talk about arranging another date/activity. That's what I would like anyway.
 
Just go out and do something where you BOTH will have some fun. Dates do not just have to be an evening out. You can do something during the day. I think that there is less pressure when you meet for a nice lunch and then do some other activity after. You could preselect a few activities based on the time of year and what is going on in your town and discuss it with her as the lunch concludes and if the lunch goes well, otherwise, you might not mention anything and just end the date after lunch.

I prefer a place for lunch where you can take a walk. I live near the ocean so I generally pick a place near the ocean where there is a place to walk and sit.
That allows you to extend the time a bit without having to commit to the whole afternoon.

Movies are generally not a good first date as there is not much time to talk. Also lousy movie = lousy date.

Your main objective on the first date is to try to find out if you want a second date and ask for one.

There will be much of the introductions just like at j*b interview on the first date. It is kind of boring but necessary to get to know someone.
 
I am 60 and have never figured out dating.
 
My two cents (from the female perspective):

Lunch is always a good idea - doesn't imply a date, you can meet there rather than picking her up, allows both of you to escape after an hour if it's awkward, and can segue into a dinner date.

I'd personally hold off on the flower until you graduate to a real date. The flower (which will be a hit at the right time) implies you want to date. Women often like to go slowly, and like to spend enough time to know if they are comfortable enough to see you in a more date-like setting.

Asking her: Just say, "Would you like to get together for lunch sometime?". She will know it's a way to get better acquainted. If she hedges on being available, no big deal - she may be involved, not interested in dating, whatever. If she says yes, follow up and contact her to set a date and time. If you don't, you'll come across as a player. Word gets out about those guys.

Ask what sort of food she likes, or if she has a favorite place. She will love your consideration.

Always call afterward (next day) or even email to thank her for the time you spent together.

Never ask a woman at the last minute - it implies she has nothing better to do.

Movies are not the best place to 'get acquainted.' too dark & you can't talk.

When you finally go on the 'real date,' if you plan the place & make reservations (if needed), she will love it. Women love guys who can make plans.

Don't scrimp on the tip (and don't wildly overtip). If yo scrimp, she will wonder if you are a cheapskate. Too much, and you're insecure & trying to be flashy. Tip appropriately for the envoronment & the bill.

Open the car door, take care to walk on the side of the street, and otherwise display good manners. You'd be surprised at how many guys ignore basic manners.

Just a few thoughts - good luck!

Sossy
 
Sarah in SC said:
Wow, those folks who complain about sexual innuendos will be surprised that we seem tame now compared to back in '06. :cool:

I'm glad to report that my number hasn't changed since then.
And you still must have a lot of cousins and sheep, HFWR. :D
Click to expand...

That's ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ad...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

R
Retirement Date Target Set at Aug/Sept 2025
Replies
4
Views
146
Koolau
Koolau
B
How often do strangers ask you for money?
3 4 5
Replies
114
Views
4K
badatmath
B
Midpack
Is Taking Up A Collection For A Friend Ever Inappropriate?
2
Replies
30
Views
769
pb4uski
pb4uski
L
Wayfair Now Horrible?!
2
Replies
31
Views
2K
Katsmeow
Katsmeow
R
SSA - A Good Story
Replies
7
Views
327
mistermike40
mistermike40

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom