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My life vs children life
Old 03-09-2017, 08:04 AM   #1
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My life vs children life

Growing up with a very conservative frugal life style and living my life that way is hard sometime to see my son live it differently.

He was raised to be a save and he had to work for his money and his first job was at 12 picking corn in fields for market. Worked after school and all summers till he went to college. When he was 18 he started his career job and is still at the same company and has worked himself up the ladder.

He makes a low 6 figure salary but he spends a lot of money. This is the part I have a hard time with but he is 31 so I really don't have a lot to say. He saves a lot of money also and has 401K plus a pension/IRA and a savings account. He saves monthly I know that.

He skies, owns a large boat, fishes, hunts, snowmobiles and goes on trips each year some place in the US. He is gone all the time doing something and many out of state hunting and sporting activities.

He is a good man but it drives me crazy all the stuff he has and places he goes. I would have never did all those things grown up because it wasn't a frugal life.

My question is he on the right track enjoying life as life goes by or am I wrong to even think he shouldn't be doing what he is doing?

I would say his net worth is about 400K plus a full pension after 30 years.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:06 AM   #2
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If I could trade some of my financial security for having enjoyed life more when I was younger and healthier, I probably would.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:12 AM   #3
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Having the same thoughts about my son who is 25. Makes hardly any money and spends every dime. Net worth of $15K. Your son sounds like he is on the right track and enjoying his life. It's hard, but I try to not worry about this type of thing. They are adults and need to have their own successes and failures.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:13 AM   #4
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Maybe he had enough of frugality growing up, and is getting it out of his system?
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:14 AM   #5
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I was making a whole lot less than him and saving a crap ton of money while still going out just about every weekend. I didn't own a boat, but I went through a new used car every year, and had a couple motorcycles. I flew across the country to visit people every couple of months, blowing not a small sum of change. I spent a lot of money having a lot of fun, but managed to save a lot as well.

If he's single and doesn't have a kid, imagine how much money that's freeing up for him to spend while still living below his means. After all, how much money did you put back toward your family while still being able to save a lot?
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:32 AM   #6
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he's saving, and has pension eligibility, young, no kids.... Sounds reasonable.

We are sometimes taken aback at what our late-20s eldest and his wife spend--but they rent a tiny place in San Fran and have no cars, which enables them to save a high percentage of good salaries/bonuses despite their frequent flying around for vacations. We, OTOH, didn't travel as much as we would have liked when young (kids + jobs), and are going to be making up for it in our 50s and 60s.

I think they and your son are smart to enjoy it more when younger, as long as they have their long-term bases covered.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:40 AM   #7
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Anyone that young who already has a net worth of 400k is living well below his means. He just has a lot of means!
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:46 AM   #8
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OP - You don't mention how much he has in his 401K, so it's hard to tell as the $300K net worth sounds great for a 31 yr old , but if that includes the cars, boat, etc, then it's not really any savings and will be worth a lot less later.

My view in life was save enough each year and if I blew the rest it was fine as I had saved enough.

So perhaps just ask/check with him that he is maxing out his 401K and be happy he is enjoying life.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:48 AM   #9
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My question is he on the right track enjoying life as life goes by or am I wrong to even think he shouldn't be doing what he is doing?
My thoughts are any person who is responsibly saving money and investing should feel free to spend whatever is "left" after bills and savings on anything they enjoy that doesn't hurt others. You say he's saving, investing, and is working towards a pension on top of that. All of those things say he's being financially responsible. If his finances also afford him the ability to spend money generously on things he enjoys now then I say be happy for him.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:50 AM   #10
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He is not married no kids and is a very responsible person. I'm old school and sometimes I don't understand the younger generation. I do see some frugalness in him at times. Lol I do like that when I see that or hear him say that costs to much etc.. Lol


He doesn't max his 401K but saves beyond just 401K each month. I would say he has 300K to 350K in 401K and savings account. He owns a new home that is worth about 270K and owes about 130K on it. All his toys plus his truck are all paid for by cash when he buys.
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:52 AM   #11
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Well, I am not younger generation, but I never saw frugality as a virtue in itself. It was always just a means to an end (house, education, retirement).
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:56 AM   #12
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I would say his net worth is about 400K plus a full pension after 30 years.
At 31 he has a great net worth. He seems to know how to earn and manage money. He certainly does it better than most people his age.

So, what is the problem?
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Old 03-09-2017, 08:59 AM   #13
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My in-laws thought we lived extravagant lives, coming from a Depression / WWII era. What they didn't realize was that we had an income of $200K and had over a million dollar portfolio by the time we were in our early 40's. In fact we lived significantly below our means, but all they could see was a big (3000 square foot) house and new cars (I got them as part of my job at a huge discount). So, my advice is to keep some perspective. It sounds like your son is being responsible, to me.
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Old 03-09-2017, 09:49 AM   #14
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The average age of marriage has much to do with the changes in our economy and the individual's place in it.

When we were married in 1958, the avg. age of first marriage for men was 23 and women 21... today, the ages are 28 and 26.

The numbers for unmarried and cohabitation are difficult to come by, but empirical observation seems to indicate the there are many more unmarried persons every year.

This changing dynamic would suggest that what was good for one generation may not be applicable to a different age group. I see this within my own family, and have found that my own beliefs are not always applicable to those of my children and their children. It takes some forbearance to avoid giving advice, and more effort to understand and cope with the 70+ year age differences along the way.
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Old 03-09-2017, 09:51 AM   #15
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I think he is doing great.
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Old 03-09-2017, 10:22 AM   #16
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A full pension for a low 6 figure salary is probably worth $1-2,000,000 invested. He's on a good path.
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Old 03-09-2017, 10:54 AM   #17
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Oh, mom, you'd worry if he was making all that money and never having fun but saving every penny. He's better than fine.

signed,
another mom
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Old 03-09-2017, 10:54 AM   #18
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So I'm curious, will he most likely inherit a large some of money from you? Are you perhaps having some savers regret?
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Old 03-09-2017, 12:55 PM   #19
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It would not be for me, but if he is single, he is likely doing OK.
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Old 03-09-2017, 01:09 PM   #20
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My father and both grandparents were all power company employees, and they were very frugal in their lifestyles. We were never hungry, but had "just enough."

It hurts me to see my sister hauling around her grandkids to rock concerts and places like the Virgin Islands and Atlantis in her personal (not business) LearJet. She lives in two palatial mansions. And they owe big $ on their business after buying out a partner.

When we started at the low end of the income scale, we had one direction in our lives--moving up. When 12 to 18 year old kids have lived the high life they've not earned, I fear they may only have one direction in life--and that's down.
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