My life vs children life

[street]

Growing up with a very conservative frugal life style and living my life that way is hard sometime to see my son live it differently.

He was raised to be a save and he had to work for his money and his first job was at 12 picking corn in fields for market. Worked after school and all summers till he went to college. When he was 18 he started his career job and is still at the same company and has worked himself up the ladder.

He makes a low 6 figure salary but he spends a lot of money. This is the part I have a hard time with but he is 31 so I really don't have a lot to say. He saves a lot of money also and has 401K plus a pension/IRA and a savings account. He saves monthly I know that.

He skies, owns a large boat, fishes, hunts, snowmobiles and goes on trips each year some place in the US. He is gone all the time doing something and many out of state hunting and sporting activities.

He is a good man but it drives me crazy all the stuff he has and places he goes. I would have never did all those things grown up because it wasn't a frugal life.

My question is he on the right track enjoying life as life goes by or am I wrong to even think he shouldn't be doing what he is doing?

I would say his net worth is about 400K plus a full pension after 30 years.

 

[bUU]

If I could trade some of my financial security for having enjoyed life more when I was younger and healthier, I probably would.

 

[45th Birthday]

Having the same thoughts about my son who is 25. Makes hardly any money and spends every dime. Net worth of $15K. Your son sounds like he is on the right track and enjoying his life. It's hard, but I try to not worry about this type of thing. They are adults and need to have their own successes and failures.

 

[Amethyst]

Maybe he had enough of frugality growing up, and is getting it out of his system?

 

[RetiredGypsy]

I was making a whole lot less than him and saving a crap ton of money while still going out just about every weekend. I didn't own a boat, but I went through a new used car every year, and had a couple motorcycles. I flew across the country to visit people every couple of months, blowing not a small sum of change. I spent a lot of money having a lot of fun, but managed to save a lot as well.

If he's single and doesn't have a kid, imagine how much money that's freeing up for him to spend while still living below his means. After all, how much money did you put back toward your family while still being able to save a lot?

 

[2017ish]

he's saving, and has pension eligibility, young, no kids.... Sounds reasonable.

We are sometimes taken aback at what our late-20s eldest and his wife spend--but they rent a tiny place in San Fran and have no cars, which enables them to save a high percentage of good salaries/bonuses despite their frequent flying around for vacations. We, OTOH, didn't travel as much as we would have liked when young (kids + jobs), and are going to be making up for it in our 50s and 60s.

I think they and your son are smart to enjoy it more when younger, as long as they have their long-term bases covered.

 

[Which Roger]

Anyone that young who already has a net worth of 400k is living well below his means. He just has a lot of means!

 

[Sunset]

OP - You don't mention how much he has in his 401K, so it's hard to tell as the $300K net worth sounds great for a 31 yr old , but if that includes the cars, boat, etc, then it's not really any savings and will be worth a lot less later.

My view in life was save enough each year and if I blew the rest it was fine as I had saved enough.

So perhaps just ask/check with him that he is maxing out his 401K and be happy he is enjoying life.

 

[exnavynuke]

My question is he on the right track enjoying life as life goes by or am I wrong to even think he shouldn't be doing what he is doing?

My thoughts are any person who is responsibly saving money and investing should feel free to spend whatever is "left" after bills and savings on anything they enjoy that doesn't hurt others. You say he's saving, investing, and is working towards a pension on top of that. All of those things say he's being financially responsible. If his finances also afford him the ability to spend money generously on things he enjoys now then I say be happy for him.

 

[street]

He is not married no kids and is a very responsible person. I'm old school and sometimes I don't understand the younger generation. I do see some frugalness in him at times. Lol I do like that when I see that or hear him say that costs to much etc.. Lol


He doesn't max his 401K but saves beyond just 401K each month. I would say he has 300K to 350K in 401K and savings account. He owns a new home that is worth about 270K and owes about 130K on it. All his toys plus his truck are all paid for by cash when he buys.

 

[Amethyst]

Well, I am not younger generation, but I never saw frugality as a virtue in itself. It was always just a means to an end (house, education, retirement).

 

[Chuckanut]

I would say his net worth is about 400K plus a full pension after 30 years.

At 31 he has a great net worth. He seems to know how to earn and manage money. He certainly does it better than most people his age.

So, what is the problem?

 

[travelover]

My in-laws thought we lived extravagant lives, coming from a Depression / WWII era. What they didn't realize was that we had an income of $200K and had over a million dollar portfolio by the time we were in our early 40's. In fact we lived significantly below our means, but all they could see was a big (3000 square foot) house and new cars (I got them as part of my job at a huge discount). So, my advice is to keep some perspective. It sounds like your son is being responsible, to me.

 

[imoldernu]

The average age of marriage has much to do with the changes in our economy and the individual's place in it.

When we were married in 1958, the avg. age of first marriage for men was 23 and women 21... today, the ages are 28 and 26.

The numbers for unmarried and cohabitation are difficult to come by, but empirical observation seems to indicate the there are many more unmarried persons every year.

This changing dynamic would suggest that what was good for one generation may not be applicable to a different age group. I see this within my own family, and have found that my own beliefs are not always applicable to those of my children and their children. It takes some forbearance to avoid giving advice, and more effort to understand and cope with the 70+ year age differences along the way.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think he is doing great.

 

[latexman]

A full pension for a low 6 figure salary is probably worth $1-2,000,000 invested. He's on a good path.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Oh, mom, you'd worry if he was making all that money and never having fun but saving every penny. He's better than fine.

signed,
another mom

 

[ivinsfan]

So I'm curious, will he most likely inherit a large some of money from you? Are you perhaps having some savers regret?

 

[DrRoy]

It would not be for me, but if he is single, he is likely doing OK.

 

[Bamaman]

My father and both grandparents were all power company employees, and they were very frugal in their lifestyles. We were never hungry, but had "just enough."

It hurts me to see my sister hauling around her grandkids to rock concerts and places like the Virgin Islands and Atlantis in her personal (not business) LearJet. She lives in two palatial mansions. And they owe big $ on their business after buying out a partner.

When we started at the low end of the income scale, we had one direction in our lives--moving up. When 12 to 18 year old kids have lived the high life they've not earned, I fear they may only have one direction in life--and that's down.

 

[Rambler]

Wow, I think he's doing just fine. 400k net worth at 31? There aren't many young people that age worth even half that much. He saves for his toys...no debt. Most his age are up to their eyeballs in debt. He saves beyond his 401k. He should be doing that. When you begin to withdraw, you do want to draw from taxable as well as deferred accounts to keep taxes low.

Are you suggesting he should not have toys and save everything? I think that if he did that, sure, he could retire sooner...but didn't you say he loves his job? He'll be FI by the time he is 50ish...if he wants to RE he could...or keep working so he can continue to enjoy shiny new toys. Perhaps your disappointment comes more from lack of grandkids? Do you wish he had a family instead of toys?

All of that said, when my parents see the amount of money we spend, they also shake their heads. The difference is that we have beyond sufficient for our spending patterns, as pretty much everyone in this forum does. Frugality means different things to different people, especially when you include income levels. We never spend more than we take in, especially now. Divvies and interest provide us with more than we currently spend. So we are saving...in retirement. If I cut back spending to my father's level, I'd only be able to pay for two line items: Health Insurance and property taxes. $24k in total...thats about my folks' budget for an entire year. In fact, my income taxes alone are well north of twice my parents total spending.

The point is, you e brought him up well, and even though he spends more than you, he is still saving, and doing very well for himself. If you want worry and stress, don't worry about your son's spending and savings...get a job! Plenty of stress to go around there...

 

[ERD50]

At 31 he has a great net worth. He seems to know how to earn and manage money. He certainly does it better than most people his age.

So, what is the problem?

I think he is doing great.

Agree. I think you should count your blessings and be very proud that he has reached 6 figures @ age 31, and has a good sum saved.

And he's enjoying life! As far as I can see, it's all good.

My kids all seem to be doing well financially, and nothing makes me happier than to see them take some time out from work (after years of schooling, with a couple advanced degrees in the mix) to enjoy themselves.

All work, no play, makes Jack/Jane a dull kid.


-ERD50

 

[Fedup]

I think he is doing great. Mine has less than $50k and don't even contribute fully to her SEP. but she is saving. At 26, she enjoys her life. 3 oversea trips in the last 12 months. As long as she is saving, I don't have a problem. I did urge her to double here saving next year, she said she maybe able to. But not this year. The three weddings she has to go and attends as bridesmaid definitely put a dent in her budget.

 

[Souschef]

This sort of reminds me of my dad. I discovered I enjoyed cruising, and have been on quite a few cruises (not bragging). Every time my sis or mom brought up cruising to him, he remark was "what am I supposed to do-go down to the engine room and watch it?"
As a result, my mom never went on a cruise.

 

[Walt34]

At 31 and earning what he does, I think he's doing great. He's having some fun but is planning well ahead as well. I don't see any problem.