My wife wants to get rid of the dog against my will...

[Sarah in SC]

Bestwiveever, just a clarification, that lady got a dog from a Rescue group, not a shelter, and Rescue groups usually have very clear rules that state a dog must be surrendered BACK to the group if you can't keep it. Our group has a contract (exactly like the one that Ellen DeGeneres signed) that states that rule clearly--a dog can only go to a home that has been approved prior to the placement.

I have placed many of my foster dogs in homes with kids, but given the choice, will always take a childless older couple to a younger couple with small kids or newly married folks.

 

[thefed]

ok....here's some more info. I got the dog as a puppie while wife and I were separated 5 yrs ago. we had been together for 4 years prior. she was gone 6-8 months, and moved in at about 1 yr. The dog had been around almost a year when she moved in. Advantage - DOG! lol

Anyhow, the post reads like we really neglect her, which we dont. She gets petted daily and i horse around with her and my son (3) in the play room a few times/week. She runs around the house for 1/2 hr a day chasing our 2 indoor/outdoor cats....they all sleep together at night. The cats havent come up in this argument because they are so carefree and i bought them for her (twins) for her birthday 5 yrs ago.

My wife and I talked this through for about 5 hrs in the last few days, and here's the outcome:

We will be keeping the dog. I will be brushing her at least 3x/week. I will be taking her to the groomer about once every month. wife will feed and let out dog when im not around. we all will try to make more 'dog' time. i will be installing an invisible fence. right now, she stays in our yard (flanked by 400 acres of farmland) 90% of the time. The other 10% she chases our cat, loses her focus, and finds some nice horse crap to roll in...our yard is cleaned often of dog poo.

That's about it. she wanted to shave her but i heard shaving is not the best idea for a shepherd, so we settled on grooming and lots of brushing to keep the hair down


re: my relationship and communication....we actually communicated better last night than we have in years...we got some other issues worked out too...so that helped. we do not show or reflect tension whatsoever in front of the kids...not a bit....sure they can sense it, but its normal for there to be rough patches....not rosey 100% of the time

re:my schedule. i am aware that i am a very selfish person and my priorities are skewed at times. i am working at becoming a better, more well-centered person on a daily basis, through reading,self exploration, etc. im getting there, but have a long way to go. im pretty rough around the edges, but i know it and am working on it. i dont see that 15 more minutes out of my day to give her some attention will kill me. i believe it can be a good time for the kids as well.

im sure i missed a few points/questions...but that should about cover it.

thanks for all the input as always

 

[ladelfina]

thefed, good for you.. I'm glad you're able to sort it out in a positive way. It takes some courage to face up to where you may be falling short.. keep up the good work!!

 

[Calgary_Girl]

Sounds like a good plan.One quick question - how often does your wife walk the dog? It may be a good bonding experience for both her and the dog (plus good exercise for the dog). I love walking the dog in the evenings...I find it relaxes me and is great exercise for both of us. Plus, it gives me a break from our 2 yr old ;-) Your wife might need a break from the kids too!

 

[Dawg52]

Well if you have to keep the wife, sounds like a good plan.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Bestwiveever, just a clarification, that lady got a dog from a Rescue group, not a shelter, and Rescue groups usually have very clear rules that state a dog must be surrendered BACK to the group if you can't keep it. Our group has a contract (exactly like the one that Ellen DeGeneres signed) that states that rule clearly--a dog can only go to a home that has been approved prior to the placement.

I have placed many of my foster dogs in homes with kids, but given the choice, will always take a childless older couple to a younger couple with small kids or newly married folks.

Thanks, Sarah in SC--I didn't remember all the details about Ellen D.'s dog situation--I know all the rescue and shelter groups have the interests of only one "person" at heart , the animal and bless all of you!

Glad the puppy situation is being addressed, Fed! Sometimes the demand for action, like your wife's about the dog, is really about needing to discuss the situation. If your house is like mine was when there were two kids under 3 and two dogs, things get crazy at times but we wouldn't have it any other way!

 

[Purron]

Thefed - I'm very happy you worked it out. How about a picture of your dog sometime? You know how much many of us enjoy pet pictures

 

[thefed]

calgary girl - never. i am the only one to walk her.


heres some pics i just snapped...she was groomed today

 

[mews]

what a good-looking sweetie!

ta,
mews

 

[Goonie]

With a face like that, how could anyone even think about sending her packing?

Glad things have been worked out!!!

 

[Purron]

She is beautiful! Thanks for sharing the pictures.

 

[Dawg52]

Now, how about a picture of the wife so we can compare?

 

[freebird5825]

oh, those doggy faces!

re brushing, most pet stores sell a grooming tool that is wonderful. it is an open metal loop (teardrop shape) with a dull jagged edge, with the ends held together by a leather strap . it must be used outside or in the garage. i suggest a used shower curtain or plastic painter's dropcloth underneath. the loop grooming tool will get more excess hair out than a standard bristle brush and you don't have to stop to empty the brush. the hair just drops to the floor. and a good session with this type lasts several days or weeks depending on the season.
my shepherd mix, the "Big Guy" loves the way it feels.

 

[mews]

Freebird, I've used that on horses - yes, mega-hair!
And the horse would get this really goofy oooohmoore look...

ta,
mews

 

[summer2007]

I thought of something that I don't think has been mentioned yet....How would you feel if your wife without telling you just got rid of your dog?

I know I would be really upset.

I will keep these people anonymous so if anyone reads this and knows me that no feelings are hurt but this is something that happend to me. Someone that is close to me had hand made a bunch of things for me as gifts as a child. I plan on keeping these forever. A person who I live with does not like the person who made these things so decided to just give them away without even asking me! Then lied and said I knew that this person was going to give them away! Anyway I was pretty upset and felt really back stabbed by this and I was really ticked for quite some time about this....and I'm pretty easy going.

When I read how you were thinking that your wife might just get rid of your dog without your permission I thought of this right away. That could cause a huge fight and even end a marriage.

If you think it might end up that you just come home one day and your dog is gone you might be better off trying to find it another home.


If your wife was allergic to your dog I would understand her being that upset but the mess seems a little too picky and she might need help or maybe to play outside and get really dirty then the house will seem that much cleaner. If she doesn't already maybe start gardening or something outdoors where you get filthy!

But whatever you do I would always put my wife or even my girlfriend above all else.

Jim

 

[Gsquared]

re brushing, most pet stores sell a grooming tool that is wonderful. it is an open metal loop (teardrop shape) with a dull jagged edge, with the ends held together by a leather strap.

Check out the Furminator. They seem expensive as a grooming tool...until you've used one and realize how incredible they are. (From an owner of three dogs, two cats, two rabbits, and an assortment of other critters - we know hair)


OK, it's a bit off topic, but sort of fits with this thread...and after all, this is a financially skewed forum. Best quote I've seen on this whole financial mess:
"This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."

 

[Sue J]

Thanks for the link to the Furminator. I checked it out at the site and then ordered one from eBay ($21.94 and free shipping) We have 2 cats who LOVE to be brushed. One has very thick fur and I never feel like I'm getting all the loose fur out.

 

[FinanceDude]

Well, a DOG is considered: "man's best friend"............

I have never heard of a wife called: "man's best friend"........

 

[Goonie]

Well, a DOG is considered: "man's best friend"............

I have never heard of a wife called: "man's best friend"........

Yeah, and a dog will even lick your stinky feet while your kicked back in your recliner......very few wives will ever do that for you!

 

[thefed]

+1 on the furminator...im gonna give it a shot!

 

[Igor]

It really bothers me when family's have an animal and then when it becomes "inconvenient" the dog is treated like moldy bread and tossed out. The love a dog has for his owners is unconditional. You can be ugly, fat, dirty, poor, rich, dumb and the dog doesn't see these faults or judge you. They don't complain that their friends have an ipod and they don't. They don't ask for anything but some love and attention and of coarse some food and water. If you are working 70 hours a week and your wife isn't working how hard is it for her to walk the dog and be nice to it? Can't your kids walk the dog and brush it? If I were you I would make up a schedule for the care of the dog. You walk the dog before you go to work. Wife walks dog at lunchtime, Kids rotate walking and brushing dog in evenings. If the kids are too young hire a teenage in the neighborhood to walk and play with the dog. Dog will be happy and teenager makes some dough. I just adopted a dog from Petfinder.com Saturday and am so glad I did. This dog came from Arkansas and I was told they have "a high kill rate" there due to so many dogs that can't be placed. I agree with some of the other posters that I wouldn't want to be with a person as cold as ice when it comes to animals. I find people that don't like animals are selfish. My neighbor is an example. Her husband got a Lab and within a couple of months the wife declared the kids were "allergic" to it despite she had a cat for years. So the husband got rid of the dog. About a year later the husband got another dog (big mistake) and the dog was NEVER allowed in the house but had to stay in the garage or outside. The kids rarely played with it either. The poor dog had a stinky life. The dog had an electronic collar but one day escaped and never returned and they never found it. I hope the dog found a new home with someone to love it. The wife just complained about the dog nonstop. What a witch. You made a commitment when you took on the dog. Be responsible and take care of it. Would you give your kids away because they were too much "trouble". What's wrong with you? Put your foot down and man up!

 

[Achiever51]

+1 on the furminator...im gonna give it a shot!

Our Lab and our Border Collie/Shepard mix both absolutely LOVE their Furminator. All I have to do is say I'm getting it from the laundry room and they line up to be brushed! And talk about that look of "ooooowwwww, more please!" Yup, they get it.

Looking at that beautiful pup's face, I bet he/she would love to chase a frisbee or a ball in your yard too. Great exercise for the dog and you don't have to do much but fling the toy.

The Fed, I'm glad you and Mrs. Fed are working through this issue. Hope all works out for you.

 

[thefed]

Ooooooh my goodness! The FURMINATOR is unbelievable. I pulled out enough hair in a 15 minute session (not done yet, dog was getting restless) to fill up 1/2 of a 5 gal bucket with hair!!! Keep in mind we just had her to the groomer 4 days ago to be shaved and 'brushed' so she didnt shed so much. The groomer knew the shedding was our issue..... I have brushed her with 2 different brushes daily since then. EACH stroke from head to toe with the furmanator pulled out as much hair as a full 5 minute brush session with our regular brushes. I am ecstatic!!!!


I dont promote anything that doesnt work...and rarely anything that does. But this thing makes me want to get atop a mountain and sing it's praises like a Ricola commercial! If your dog sheds at all, get a Furminator from ebay....the best $25 you'll ever spend on your dog.

 

[tmm99]

thefed,

I agree with you on the furminator... for my cat. It gets the undercoat like nothing else.

tmm

 

[ladelfina]

thefed.. great.. I am about to order two.. one for me and one for my sister. Thanks for the product review.