What is it like to retire to a place where you don't know ANYBODY?!?

[bld999]

Well, I guess Wenatchee or around there would be worth a look. That's maybe 2 hours from Seattle metro area. Some of us who bicycle or ride dirtbikes here make the trip to Moab in the winter...

 

[Fermion]

Winthrop, WA is sort of a secret town. It is very historic and has GREAT cross country ski trails going right through the town. A outdoor ice skating rink in town too. You can jump on some great hiking trails in Mazama...I think even get on part of the Pacific Crest trail system. It is about 4 hours from Seattle.

 

[haha]

This is what WA state looks like in the winter....so depressing! I can't wait to get my 'cat out and enjoy more depressing days like that one last year.

You are right for sure! This is typical winter day in Western Washington. Come on up folks, the water's fine!

Ha

 

[imoldernu]

For us, it has been a total of 22 full moves before retirement.

BUT...
Here's an opinion about retirement living.
The country, state, town, or even the climate doesn't matter as much as finding a lifestyle where you are comfortable with the people with whom you may spend much of the rest of your life.
So, while not being 24/7 socialites, we have found that being in a "COMMUNITY" is not like living in a town. Instead of living in a economically, culturally, and age diverse neighborhood, with workers, and families and kids, our choice has been to live among people with whom we have common interests and goals. The rest of life, takes care of itself.

In the pre-retirement years, we live in neighborhoods, or perhaps rural areas, but we typically live our lives with 5 days of necessary activities, and two days "off". After retirement, it's 7 days continuous of whatever you choose.

Instead of having to hunt out friends or a social life apart from your own home, IF you live in a COMMUNITY of "like interested" people, you naturally merge into a society where you will be comfortable.

My guess is that the reason retirees don't do this, is because they have never experienced (for want of a better word).. communal living. It's an experience that has to happen... as it defies explanation. In a vacation area, experiencing this, is a matter of renting for a month or two... since being taken around by a realtor to see "houses"... is a shallow means of making a decision. Seeing people in action... meeting face to face... knowing what happens on a daily basis in the "community" is more of a measure, than a slick brochure, or an hour guided tour.

The second part of the decision, is really KNOWING what you want. When we moved into our community, the last thing in my bucket list was dancing, and parties... We ended up loving Square Dancing.. (back in the 1990's)... and this turned to line dancing and ballroom dancing later on.... Can hardly believe it myself!... Then another surprise... putting on and Emceeing parties... From a guy who spent much of his life reading books. Then an easy transition to canoeing and biking, body surfing (Florida), Billiards, and teaching computers.

All of this and more, because of living in a community. From being somewhat asocial to knowing every one of the 350 residents and their dogs.

We didn't start out that way... and even now, many of our neighbors are less active and indulge in their own interests... Still we all have common bonds. Similar age, similar socioeconomic backgrounds(middle income), no on-site kids, and the same outlook on life that brought us all together in the first place.

Now we live(d) in three different retirement communities and find them all to have the same basic characteristics... Our current, and probably final residence is in an older, less active community, but with the same kinds of people who have the common goal of enjoying the retirement years.

My opinion only...

 

[Fermion]

You are right for sure! This is typical winter day in Western Washington. Come on up folks, the water's fine!

Ha

That was eastern Washington

Near the table mountain area above Blewett Pass.

 

[Sarah in SC]

After retirement, DW and I moved to a new area that was aligned with our interests in the outdoors and fishing, and have become active in a local fishing club. I'm an introvert, but joining up with people who share a passion has been (surprisingly) enjoyable. I'm really glad we gave it a try.

When we had j*bs, we did very little socializing outside of work.

We had no family near our prior home and are actually closer to my DW's family now.

Interesting point. I have a friend, very introverted, who is into fishing. He can find a friend anywhere there there are fish.

 

[clifp]

I left California for Hawaii after I retired. The only person I knew was my sister and her husband, they had only been there for a couple of years so they'd didn't have a wide circle of friends.

Even 13 years later I'd still say that my closest friends are in California. You can't replace old friends. There is no doubt that it is harder making friends for INTJ like myself if you aren't working. Most of my friends I've made through volunteer activities and playing poker, so you'll definitely need a plan to get out of the house and meet people. Still I have made friends and I don't regret my decision at all.

 

[braumeister]

I agree that it all depends on the individual.
I have been totally uprooted and moved to a distant location 13 times since I left college (16 times total). I never thought about that being strange; it was just the way it was.

If you have hobbies you really care about, you can always find kindred spirits.

If you have strong interests (arts, music, crafts, etc.), you can always find kindred spirits.

If you are willing to get out and wander, you will often be surprised at the great people you will encounter. Simple example: I have rarely gone into a bar (I only go to those that have good craft beer selections) without being able to have wonderful conversations with the people at adjoining stools. It can begin with comments about the beer and go anywhere from there.

 

[Sea Kayaker]

I live in the Canadian Gulf Islands... I could jump in my sea kayak and in a 20 minute paddle I can be in the U.S. San Juan Islands.... during the "nice" weather months there can be no place on earth that would be better... but once the winter rains set in... I'm off to the Baja!!!

Yeah, life is rough....

 

[sengsational]

To the OP, you might see how well you do with new folks by simulating a drop in situation before you move. The idea that came to me was to go to meetup.com and just pick something you're interested in and start going. This will work if you're currently in a big town. After a while, you might realize that it was easy and fun, or not so much, meeting new people 'from scratch'.

 

[Meadbh]

To the OP, you might see how well you do with new folks by simulating a drop in situation before you move. The idea that came to me was to go to meetup.com and just pick something you're interested in and start going. This will work if you're currently in a big town. After a while, you might realize that it was easy and fun, or not so much, meeting new people 'from scratch'.

That's a good idea, but relationships take time to build. Sometimes the friends you make are second degree contacts from these activities. It can take 6 months or more.

 

[Cassie]

I've seen "meet up" in a number of posts, what is it?...a website? Thanks

 

[Cheesehead]

It's a great site to find like minded people that have your hobbies, interest, etc. in common:

Find Meetup Groups near you - Meetup

You put in your zip code and interests.

 

[Cassie]

Thanks Cheesehead, I'll take a look see...sounds like a great resource.

 

[Surewhitey]

Practical friendship advice link...

What's a real friend?

 

[gardenfun]

Thanks Cheesehead, I'll take a look see...sounds like a great resource.

Meetup is great. The first group I joined 7 or 8 years ago was East Bay English Bulldog Owners. What a hoot--25 bulldogs running around and all the owners chatting.

Then when I was spending a lot of time in Paris for my job a few years ago (I know, boo hoo) I checked the Meetup website and joined a walking group. We had a blast and I made many friends, both expats (from US and other countries) and French folks trying to improve their English.

I hike and walk with various Meetup groups in the bay area now.

 

[Lsbcal]

How about older married guys and meetups? Any good experiences to share?

 

[Lsbcal]

Here is a good site for characterizing the weather like Seattle:

Average Weather For Seattle, Washington, USA - WeatherSpark

I've used this site prior to taking vacations to somewhat unfamiliar areas.

 

[Buckeye]

Speaking only for myself, I would never move away from an established social group, unless I were perhaps going to a retiree spot in Florida, or a cult.

Ha

Clearwater, FL is the place for you. A retiree spot in Florida that is home to a cult!

 

[haha]

How about older married guys and meetups? Any good experiences to share?

The two I go to are quite different. One is a +55 coffee club, and we have lots of functions where I am not sure anyone would be aware or interested in your marital status, unless you were having a one on one with a woman who might like to know what the possibilities were. We do everything from Happy Hours to dinners to occasional parties to rehearsals for opera, symphony and ballet.

The other one I go to is in a bar for Spanish speakers and Spanish learners, mostly Hispanic guys meeting Anglo girls, like a lot of salsa groups. This one would depend a lot on the older married man, and what his interest's were.

I have met some really interesting people there, including a Anglo boxer, probably a welterweight, who spent a year mostly in and around Barranquilla and Cartagena getting into the very active boxing culture there. These boxers are not Wall Street guys putting on the gloves between lacrosse maxes, these are really poor young men trying to feed or help feed a family. It is ä group "rule" to have discussions in Spanish, so I am sure I missed some things, but overall extremely interesting. He also noted that the places down there that I was familiar with had all been hot spots in the 70s. Really now!

Ha

 

[haha]

Clearwater, FL is the place for you. A retiree spot in Florida that is home to a cult!

Wow, a twofer!

 

[omni550]

How about older married guys and meetups? Any good experiences to share?

Among the meetup groups to which I belong, no one really cares about your age or gender (except for one-- the "Women over 50" group. LOL) The rest are adventure/hiking groups, dining, wine tasting, attending local music and art venues, etc.

Like Ha , I also attend a Spanish conversational language meetup group that meets every other week for dinner and conversation at a nearby Mexican restaurant. That group is about 50% marrieds (both men and women who mostly come "stag") of all ages (18 to 75). Language skills vary from beginner to fluent.

omni

 

[sengsational]

That's a good idea, but relationships take time to build. Sometimes the friends you make are second degree contacts from these activities. It can take 6 months or more.

I agree fully. If there was an indication that this could be a quick experiment, sorry about that. I figured that moving is a big decision, and while noodling long and hard on the idea, you could be gathering data. But that's just cuz I'm an engineer, and my brain works like that

 

[Gotadimple]

Cheesehead:
In addition to Meetup.com which has many groups for folks in the Seattle area, there are:

All kinds of volunteer opportunities (see United Way, and RSVP sites)

Educational opportunities:
Bellevue College Telos program sponsors classes for seniors on a variety of topics taught be experts. They meet four quarters of the year
University of Washington sponsors Osher learning at three sites (Seattle, Everett, and Redmond): these are excellent opportunities to learn from experts, generally retired professors
Seattle metro region contains a number of community colleges that also offer continuing education classes that are a good way to meet others

But most of all it depends on where you end up living - there are endless opportunities to become involved so you can meet others. Good luck with your decision to move to the Pacific NW.

Rita

 

[omni550]

Habitat for Humanity typically has a lot of older guys -- of unknown marital status -- who volunteer on builds.

omni