I don't hide my retirement, but I don't bring it up unless asked directly (How is work?). My family and close friends all know. Both of my parents retired a bit early (army and civil service), so the concept isn't completely foreign. I just let everyone think I'm similarly constrained in budget.
If someone asks how I did it, I tell them "I figured I could do it if I were careful with expenses." I try to avoid financial details, especially with family members who I know are living in debt. I don't tell family my net worth, because most have no real understanding of the value of money. A million would be an impossibly large sum.
I used to try to promote the idea. Very few people have shown an interest in doing it themselves. I explain how to use the 4% rule based on spending. I try to teach how the numbers converge much more quickly if you can reduce spending. Almost everyone says they have too many "unavoidable" expenses, and it ends there.
It would be nice to have more peers, though.
Excellent thread, thank you.
I am still reading it, but
msieweke's post comes closest to my situation (with the glaring exception that I am still pre-ER
)
But, like msieweke, while I will not be shy if asked about retirement, I am (and always have been) much more reluctant to talk to family or friends about money.
I have a bro-in-law who is pretty frugal, but I don't get along well with him and so we don't talk that often. Unfortunately, most/all of the other family members either seem to be just getting by or are visibly living beyond their means. As msieweke mentioned, apart from my frugal bro-in-law, the rest don't seem to have any concept of the value of money and I think any discussion would likely be met with blank stares and/or resentment
*.
I have engaged in some stealth education though with some of my nieces and nephews. Years ago, I purchased several copies of 'The Wealthy Barber' and gave them to those that I thought might benefit from reading it. I recently talked to a couple of nephews and had them read 'The Richest Man in Babylon'. To my surprise, one nephew called me recently to thank me for recommending the book. I was delighted because his dad is a spendthrift who has gone bankrupt once and shows no sign of changing.
(
* I base this on my experience in going to law school at night. Rather than supporting me, or even keeping their opinions to themselves, a lot of my family members felt compelled to offer [-]insults[/-], oh, sorry, "joshing" about how I was a snob, too good for the rest of us, etc.
)
