Surprises in the first month of retirement

[ER Eddie]

I just completed my first month of retirement, and I made a list of the things that have surprised me. Thought I would share. Some are good surprises, some not so good. Even the 'bad' ones have an upside, though.


1. My sadness over leaving my colleagues/career only lasted a day or two. I expected it to last longer.

2. I initially "celebrated" my retirement with too much alcohol and weed. I was enjoying the freedom. But it went on far too long -- a couple of weeks -- and I ended up in a very low place, miserable and bitterly disappointed in myself. On the upside, it was a good reminder of my vulnerability in that area. I'm back on track now.

3. I'm not worried about money or budget. I expected that once I didn't have a paycheck, I'd get very budget-conscious. That hasn't happened.

4. Despite all of the thought, planning, and preparation I did for retirement, I was surprised at how much thought and self-direction is still required. I'm still spending a lot of time thinking about goals, values, purpose, etc., and working to keep myself on track.

5. I was surprised to find myself selling my game console and games. I've played games for 20 years, and I've spent a lot of time (too much) on game forums. I've been losing interest over the past year or two, but I didn't expect to suddenly just dump the hobby completely. But it suddenly became clear to me that that is what I wanted to do. I was surprised at how easy it was. The downside is that now I've got a fancy 4K/HDR TV that I use only for watching 720p Youtube vids, lol.

6. How busy I am. In some ways I feel like I'm working harder than when I was working -- except of course, I'm working on what I want to work on, rather than on what is required.

7. I lose track of the days. I've heard this mentioned here before, so it wasn't a big surprise, but it was still a little weird. I often have to stop and think before I know what day it is.

8. How quickly the days go by.

9. I don't have nearly the desire to socialize that I thought I would. Prior to retirement, I was worried about feeling socially isolated. I'm single, live alone, my dog recently died, and apart from a couple friends and family, I didn't have much of a social life outside of work. So, in the months leading up to retirement, I made sure to attend social groups, book clubs, and so forth -- preparing myself in advance. But when I retired, I found that I didn't really care to do many of those things. And yet I haven't felt lonely or isolated at all. That's been a nice surprise.

10. I got a call yesterday from my old work, telling me that I might be deposed on an old case. I really dislike being deposed (although in this particular case, it shouldn't be too big a deal). And I really dislike being dragged involuntarily back to work after I've retired. The upside is that it's a good reminder of one reason I pulled the plug.


So those are some of my early retirement surprises after the first month. I hope you can resonate to some of them.

 

[bloom2708]

Thanks for the tips. Not buying and smoking "giant bags of weed" might help the budget side too. Wink.

Variety in retirement is the spice of life.

 

[ckelly78z]

I can see where I will be alot like you except maybe the weed/alcohol part. I've never been a gamer either because I don't feel I want to waste the time (if I all of a sudden have 10 extra hours a day, I may start playing).

 

[Vacation4us]

Congratulations on your retirement. I hope you have a long and happy retirement.

I may be a little pollyanna ish but I just don’t get the dope thing. The smell is repulsive and everywhere these days.

Amazing to me that people smart enough to retire early smoke weed. My ex husband found the company of weed far more appealing than his wife and kids. His habit lead to the loss of everything he said he wanted in life.

You may not feel isolated in a month but time can slip past so quickly.....

Wish you well in the years to come.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Congrats! Your experience sounds a bit like mine, except the adult beverage/weed part. I do like to drink, but not to excess.

I also quit playing more intense video games, although I still futz around with card games, puzzles, stuff like that. I think I lost the need for the escapism a first-person shooter gave me.

My dear old Dad was in the nursing home his last month of life, and they had a white board in the common area with the date and day of the week written on it. DW and I joke that we should get one of those as well.

DW and I also found that we keep so busy we have to keep up with our calendars. I wake up every day and have to mentally review what it is I intend to accomplish that day. Sometimes it's nothing, and that's great. Sometimes it's a bunch of projects, and I have to decide what to put off. It feels so good to be able to do that without some project manager yelling at me.

 

[euro]

Congrats on your retirement!

I hope you are negotiating a nice consulting arrangement for yourself with that deposition. No reason to work for free when you are retired!

 

[WhenIsItTime]

Love the comments that ‘we have a lot in common other than X,Y, and Z’. Only thing left is both retired.

 

[Blueskies123]

Mine was having my wife saying, it was much quieter when you were working. Have you thought about going back to work?

 

[Bamaman]

1. Don't be too sad about leaving your work friends. Nobody in our office ever talks to each other 10 years after we all retired about the same time.

2. Glad you celebrated your retirement. But there's nothing sadder than being an old stoner and heavy drinker. Retirement is time to find something more meaningful to do with yourself and your time.

3. Don't worry about money or budget. That'll come later, especially if there's a dip in the stock market.

4. Don't spend much time thinking about goals, values, purpose, etc., Being retired is not losing a job, it's a part time job just opening the mail and doing something with all the mailings, credit card offers, etc. generated by credit bureau mailing lists every Medicare marketer can buy. Heavens knows how they all got my phone number, and how 10 or more phone calls are received nightly.

5. I don't have time to be a gamer. It's like a part time job just watching Facebook, a few newspapers and a special interest website or two three times a day.

6. I too am working harder than when I was working doing what I want to work on. In reality, I've yet to get a handle on all the tasks at hand--and I've been retired almost 11 years.

7. I too lose track of the days and dates. And I cannot read those tiny dates on my watch either. The days/dates are on my laptop at the bottom if I really need to know it.

8. The days go by quickly, and they get faster and faster. I look back to losing my parents 10 & 13 years ago and it was like yesterday. Look ahead 10 & 13 years, and I may be a really old guy--or dead.

9. I'm married, and we were active square dancers and campers in our early retirement years. Most of our social life is centered around church now that my wife's having mobility problems--knee replacement. We still love to travel, and spend late nights looking for travel bargains to other parts of the world.

10. If you think someone's trying to serve a summons or subpoena on you, it'd be a good time to take a long, well deserved vacation to anywhere. I have not desire to talk about anything to do with my past business dealings.

Have a great retired life.

 

[kc1081]

Several months after I retired, I was named as a witness in a Federal lawsuit (work related). I went to the Federal courthouse to meet with the attorney prior to the deposition. At the conclusion, the young man tried to school me on how I should be dressed (I was wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt. I politely explained to him that I was going to be the only person in the room at the deposition that was not getting paid. I further explained that if I went before the judge I would be dressed appropriately. Nothing was said about my attire during the depo.

 

[aja8888]

10. I got a call yesterday from my old work, telling me that I might be deposed on an old case. I really dislike being deposed (although in this particular case, it shouldn't be too big a deal). And I really dislike being dragged involuntarily back to work after I've retired. The upside is that it's a good reminder of one reason I pulled the plug.

.

Same thing happened to me after I left. I did the deposition and prep and billed them $250/hour, which they paid.

 

[ER Eddie]

I hope you are negotiating a nice consulting arrangement for yourself with that deposition. No reason to work for free when you are retired!

Yeah, I'm going to make sure I get paid somehow...

Amazing to me that people smart enough to retire early smoke weed.

Ah, shaming in response to vulnerability. Great. :/

My ex husband found the company of weed far more appealing than his wife and kids. His habit lead to the loss of everything he said he wanted in life.

Oh, okay. Now I get why you're so judgmental. Sorry you went through that, but don't project it on to me.

Mine was having my wife saying, it was much quieter when you were working. Have you thought about going back to work?

lol

2. Glad you celebrated your retirement. But there's nothing sadder than being an old stoner and heavy drinker. Retirement is time to find something more meaningful to do with yourself and your time.

Oh, believe me, I know. I would revise that a little: being a heavy drinker or pothead at any age is a road to hell and death. I am actually thankful for the experience, because it was a good reminder, in my bones, of something I'd forgotten.

3. Don't worry about money or budget. That'll come later, especially if there's a dip in the stock market.

Cool.

Actually one of the reasons I'm not too worried is that I've got plenty of leeway in the budget dept. Basically a 2% withdrawal rate for 4 or 5 years, after which maybe 1%.

4. Don't spend much time thinking about goals, values, purpose, etc. Being retired is not losing a job, it's a part time job just opening the mail and doing something with all the mailings, credit card offers, etc. generated by credit bureau mailing lists every Medicare marketer can buy. Heavens knows how they all got my phone number, and how 10 or more phone calls are received nightly.

Self/spiritual development is one of the things I love most, so that's what I'm spending a lot of time on. The issue for me is that the area is so broad, there is so much to do. Every book I read leads to 10 more I want to read. There are dozens of conferences I'd love to attend. There are dozens of groups and organizations I'd like to join and participate in. There are so many different directions to go.

It's all pretty exciting actually. I feel like I'm being reborn, sort of, or at least starting over.

5. I don't have time to be a gamer. It's like a part time job just watching Facebook, a few newspapers and a special interest website or two three times a day.

Retirement feels sort of like a rebirth or new beginning, and that feeling spread out like a good infection, which led to me putting aside gaming. I think that gaming served a purpose when I was working, and now that I'm not, it no longer does. It reminds me of how some people talk about how they planned to travel a lot when they retired, but when they actually did retire, they didn't find it all that appealing anymore. Travel was sort of an escape from the work world, and when the work stopped, the desire to escape faded.

I have to keep an eye on my social media use. That can very easily become a time sink for me.

8. The days go by quickly, and they get faster and faster. I look back to losing my parents 10 & 13 years ago and it was like yesterday. Look ahead 10 & 13 years, and I may be a really old guy--or dead.

They say life is short. Sometimes that seems true. Other times it seems like life is long. I guess it can be both. "Life's a long song/but the tune ends too soon for us all."

10. If you think someone's trying to serve a summons or subpoena on you, it'd be a good time to take a long, well deserved vacation to anywhere. I have not desire to talk about anything to do with my past business dealings.

I'm not sure it's going to happen yet. The guy is applying for disability, and if that is rejected, then a different process will get set in motion, and I'll get deposed. It's not really a big deal. I don't want to avoid it. I do want to make sure I get paid, though.

Have a great retired life.

Thank you! So far so good. Like I say, even the potholes are good. As long as I'm learning and growing, all is well.

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

Great thread. I retired in January. Would be interesting to see what further changes you notice 7-8 months later.

I noticed a big difference from my first month to now. I’ll bet you will too. It’s like a new job.....after a while you are eased into it and are confident in it.

 

[rk911]

i can relate to 1, 3, 6 and 8. we took off on a 13-week RV trip the day after my last day at work. i relaxed so well that when we returned home i was surprised to see all the [-]crap[/-], er, stuff from my retirement party. seems i had actually forgotten about all that stuff. that's relaxed!

 

[audreyh1]

I gave myself 6 months to decompress. And it took that six months or longer. Only after that period did I move forward with major decisions about my goals In retirement.

I discovered that many things I thought were important for me in retirement ended up being not. Gave myself permission to experiment. Discovered new interests that blew old ideas away.

We loved to sail. It really kept me sane the last few years working. Thought we would eventually go bare boating and sailboat cruising a lot. Then once retired we sailed very little and ended up selling the boat. We were too busy traveling and didn’t need the stress relief at home, and other interests exceeded sailing in general. Still haven’t made it to the Caribbean.

 

[EarlyBirdly]

"...being a heavy drinker or pothead at any age is a road to hell and death."


Not necessarily. Many of my friends from H.S. and College never stopped partying. (Some are high level executives and are still doing LSD among other things. (!) ) Without exception, they have all had successful lives and have been productive members of Society.

How could that be? They were all exceptional people to begin with.

That's why I have maintained their friendships for 30-50+ years.

That said, I have also watched substance abuse destroy and end lives.

It depends on the individual(s) in question I guess.

 

[Pellice]

Congratulations! I think it will only get better for you. Yesterday was 1 year since my "official paperwork" retirement. I had lunch will a still-working colleague - and forgot all about the date! (I'm adopting my first day of FIRE, July 12) as my anniversary date). I feel like the first year was a year of consolidation, and now am journeying on. Feels great. Thanks for sharing your first month.

 

[Rianne]

Interesting post. Looking back, uncertainty initiated excitement. Felt like an adventure. DH left megacorp without much notice. He was not downsized or terminated, he just got fed up and resigned. We sold our house in a down market (2012), lost @ $60K. There were many times we weren't sure what would come next. Excitement and fear were the drivers. Actually, this forum helped us through some of the uncertainty. I'd say keeping good health is the challenge today. We took our bikes off the garage wall (after 7 years hanging there) got them tuned up and out on the road. I fell off a couple days ago, skinned up my back, leg. Back on the saddle yesterday.

 

[MRG]

Congratulations OP great thread.

I learned do limit my alcohol too. It's a depressing drug. Too much makes Jack a dull boy.

Cannibis is awesome, I love to take a few puffs before a 5k or lifting. Of course I often used it while w*rking, helped my code immensely. It's not surprising the prejudice and shaming, sixty years of misinformation does that. It's easy to blame a plant for things that you don't want to see in yourself.

Enjoy your retirement.

 

[pacergal]

Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Time does go by sooo fast.
I've had a few callbacks and ended up working on call, totally retired now though.
If they need you, there should be some way for you to get paid!
Enjoy your time!

 

[StephieJean]

I just completed my first month of retirement, and I made a list of the things that have surprised me. Thought I would share. Some are good surprises, some not so good. Even the 'bad' ones have an upside, though.


1. My sadness over leaving my colleagues/career only lasted a day or two. I expected it to last longer.

2. I initially "celebrated" my retirement with too much alcohol and weed. I was enjoying the freedom. But it went on far too long -- a couple of weeks -- and I ended up in a very low place, miserable and bitterly disappointed in myself. On the upside, it was a good reminder of my vulnerability in that area. I'm back on track now.

3. I'm not worried about money or budget. I expected that once I didn't have a paycheck, I'd get very budget-conscious. That hasn't happened.

4. Despite all of the thought, planning, and preparation I did for retirement, I was surprised at how much thought and self-direction is still required. I'm still spending a lot of time thinking about goals, values, purpose, etc., and working to keep myself on track.

5. I was surprised to find myself selling my game console and games. I've played games for 20 years, and I've spent a lot of time (too much) on game forums. I've been losing interest over the past year or two, but I didn't expect to suddenly just dump the hobby completely. But it suddenly became clear to me that that is what I wanted to do. I was surprised at how easy it was. The downside is that now I've got a fancy 4K/HDR TV that I use only for watching 720p Youtube vids, lol.

6. How busy I am. In some ways I feel like I'm working harder than when I was working -- except of course, I'm working on what I want to work on, rather than on what is required.

7. I lose track of the days. I've heard this mentioned here before, so it wasn't a big surprise, but it was still a little weird. I often have to stop and think before I know what day it is.

8. How quickly the days go by.

9. I don't have nearly the desire to socialize that I thought I would. Prior to retirement, I was worried about feeling socially isolated. I'm single, live alone, my dog recently died, and apart from a couple friends and family, I didn't have much of a social life outside of work. So, in the months leading up to retirement, I made sure to attend social groups, book clubs, and so forth -- preparing myself in advance. But when I retired, I found that I didn't really care to do many of those things. And yet I haven't felt lonely or isolated at all. That's been a nice surprise.

10. I got a call yesterday from my old work, telling me that I might be deposed on an old case. I really dislike being deposed (although in this particular case, it shouldn't be too big a deal). And I really dislike being dragged involuntarily back to work after I've retired. The upside is that it's a good reminder of one reason I pulled the plug.


So those are some of my early retirement surprises after the first month. I hope you can resonate to some of them.

Congrats on your retirement. Thanks for sharing your tips. I too thought I would miss friends and colleagues more, NOT!. I shared some of those same thoughts and experiences you shared with us. glad retirement is working out for you. They pay us to play. Gotta love it!

 

[Bir48die]

It definitely takes some time to adjust to your new norm. Sure, I have days where I have a cocktail earlier than I used to. I'm "not smokin' the weed" to send me to hell everyday but it's easy to jump into a habit when you have lots of idle time on your hands. Usually habits or addictions transfer so if you were a heavy gamer it would just transfer to another activity.

I agree with the busyness of life after retirement. When I do have an unplanned day I'll go a bit nuts after a few hours but then I'll remember smaller things that I wanted to get done and I just tackle them.

One thing I had pledged was to read one American History book in my spare time. I started it two years ago and got ten pages in out of 1,500. Maybe some day. I'm just one of those people that wants to be physically active more than mentally I guess.

Anyway, keep up the good work. As I tell everyone I talk to, I have no bad things to say about retirement.

 

[DAYDREAMER]

Had similar observations since retiring 3 years ago. Lost all interest in hobbies that helped escape during work years (boating, snowmobiling). Now enjoying activities that do my body good (biking, yard work). Turned our home into a flower garden heaven and enjoying home life.

New hobby is learning. Projects are tackled by learning as much as possible about it, then work on the project with the highest skill and quality my ability allows. Why not----we have plenty of time!

Retirement ROCKS!

 

[Big_Hitter]

Looking forward to forgetting what day it is.

I did quit drinking 2.5 years ago and am really glad I did before retirement.

 

[folivier]

During my career I would fish frequently and thought when I retired that I would continue fishing during the week, every week. But after I retired I found that I was not interested anymore in fishing and enjoyed more things that I never had time for while working. Here I am spending the summer in Alaska, a fantastic fishing location, and have no desire to get on a boat!