Your Spouse After Retirement?

[ShokWaveRider]

Mind sharing your thinking about traveling with an ICD? My DH has one for over 6 years and we haven't been concerned about traveling. Of course we travel mostly domestic now.. His EP doc said we should go wherever we want to since it's like having your own ER room in your chest.

No problem if you don't care to answer.

No issues at all since I have had it. I even go though the Xray machines at the airport rather than get checked manually. Have probably done it hundreds of times since installed in 2006. I just found out today that it is due for changing out this year.....

 

[ivinsfan]

No issues at all since I have had it. I even go though the Xray machines at the airport rather than get checked manually.

I was really wondering why you thought you'd travel more after you get an updated one? What would be the difference in your comfort level?

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I was really wondering why you thought you'd travel more after you get an updated one? What would be the difference in your comfort level?

Only because it is coming up to it's due by date and I wanted to be near my cardiologist as opposed to one in Mexico or such like. See above I updated the post.

 

[ivinsfan]

Only because it is coming up to it's due by date and I wanted to be near my cardiologist as opposed to one in Mexico or such like. See above I updated the post.

That's smart and you'll be surprised by how much smaller your new one is..

 

[Floridatennisplayer]

My wife and I are planning to retire at the same time, so I'm not bored at home alone


Man, that sounds pathetically sad to me. So you won’t be bored home alone? Dude!!!! There is a whole big world out there. Go do something.

I don’t have to have my wife around nor would I want or expect her. We have active, fun lives. I’m on the courts every day for a couple of hours. Then lunch with someone....grandkids, mother, tennis buddies...etc.

 

[ncbill]

Spouse is a teacher...I doubt she will retire prior to 65.

So we'll just plan to do things in the summer/on school breaks until then.

 

[jollystomper]

I retired last year to DW's joy and delight. She still chooses to teach part time August-May (classes at a private school and 1-2 university classes) because she enjoys sharing her knowledge and working with students. I have not factored her income into any retirement plans, so she can choose to stop any time and not feel "guilty" about losing the income stream.

We have managed our time very well so far. (at least according to her ). Long trips we schedule around her fall/spring breaks and summer. Long weekends we can do anything, since she always has Fridays and about half of Mondays during the school year.

We try to do something together at least once a day... it might be as simple as both of us on our computers/tablets/books in the same room, or a board/card game, watching an episode of a show (neither of us are big TV watchers). Often times it is something active, like a walk, hike gym workout, or sport (primary golf and bowling). And we definitely still do date nights - e.g. this week we went to a pro ballgame in a nearby city and stayed over the night in a hotel, this weekend "dressing up" to go to a jazz concert at a vineyard.


We have a Venn diagram of friends, so we try to have a good balance since we each have interests that the other does not, but have friends with that interest. I'd say on average we are both with our friends a couple of times a week, and together with joint friends at least once a week (usually for those activities I mentioned above).


So far, so good. Our stance is we love being around each other, are both relatively healthy and physically active, but do not know how long the physical aspect that will last. So being active, especially together, we want to try for as long as possible.

 

[mountainsoft]

Man, that sounds pathetically sad to me. So you won’t be bored home alone? Dude!!!! There is a whole big world out there. Go do something.

I just meant I couldn't do things WITH HER if I retired and she was still working. New experiences are meant to be shared. Doing them alone isn't that much fun.

I work alone now and don't have any problem working until she is ready to retire. Heck, I'll probably keep working in a limited fashion even after we retire.

 

[rk911]

i love spending time and just hanging with my wife. in march we'll celebrate, in our own way, 50-yrs of marriage...52-yrs of being together if you count high school. we used to walk and hike together but her physical limitations now prohibit that. that's ok. she occasionally goes out with her girlfriends and the guys and i do breakfast, lunch, hamfests and the like.

 

[oscar1]

I retired 2 years ago at 55 and, here’s the not-so-brilliant part, AFTER we just downsized our house to 1500 sq. ft. We had no place to go in the house for our quiet time. Did not take long for her to pick up a couple fun part-time gigs (Disney Store, Hobby Lobby) and that mostly fixed the issue. But I think we are still acclimating. I’m waiting for DD to get hitched so we can buy a slightly bigger place near her before grandkid phase. It was a huge adjustment for me but like most people are saying, you get used to in time.

 

[ckelly78z]

Sounds like a pacemaker? It's a semantic thing but technically as I understand it an ICD has a defibrillator component. One without the defib aspect is a pacemaker.

:

I have a Medtronics Amplia MRI Quad CRT defibrillator that has the pacing option. Evidently, I got into the high rate pacing more than most patients who don't live on a farm.

 

[ivinsfan]

I have a Medtronics Amplia MRI Quad CRT defibrillator that has the pacing option. Evidently, I got into the high rate pacing more than most patients who don't live on a farm.

It's doing what it needs to, that's the important thing

 

[audreyh1]

DH had his own consulting business which he did part-time when I retired. I did have to explain to him that he would have to retire too, so we could travel etc., together without schedule impediments. It hadn't actually occurred to him, LOL! Fortunately he was between projects at the time I retired so we were free to do what we wanted, and he later wrapped things up and closed his business.

 

[JustCurious]

Heck, I'll probably keep working in a limited fashion even after we retire.

But then are you really retired?

 

[mountainsoft]

But then are you really retired?

Yes, I will stop working full time and start treating it like a hobby again. Basically, keep doing the things I enjoy and ignore the stuff I don't.

 

[isisdave]

DW and I retired about the same time in early 2016. She's a big crafter and does that a lot when we're at home. She also sells her photographs on Etsy.

At home, we also like to go to estate sales weekly. She snaps up books for $2 that she can occasionally resell on ebay for $30, not because we need to but for some reason this is fun for her. And she buys books or materials that are useful for her crafting. I've bought about all the backup tools I can house, but I did find a sander from the '60s recently for $5. I'd forgotten they were actually made of metal.

We travel a lot. Hobbies you can do while traveling -- hiking, photography, movies, going to estate sales in other places or even countries -- help keep us busy. We also pet-sit to provide free places to go. It turns out that Swiss cows actually wear those bells you see in the movies.

You can spend a lot of time with television. Some of this is worthwhile -- you can binge a whole season of something in two nights, and it's a lot easier to keep the plot in your head. Plus no commercials. As for current TV, we watch nothing live -- Tivo it all, use the D button to skip commercials, and use the speed feature that shows it at 130% speed while adjusting pitch to sound normal. Best invention since contact lenses.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

I’m a neophyte retiree so probably don’t have anything useful to add. DH is younger and can’t retire yet, but he is jealous of my free time. He is grateful for the time I spend straightening up and cleaning (I am the messy one in this relationship) and for homegrown vegetables and better dinners. He rises very early and leaves work around 1 or 2 pm (he’s a contractor) so the work is completed before the day gets too hot. Then he is home doing projects so we spend more time together that way. My alone time is at night.

It’s quite an adjustment. I find myself very busy between the garden, chickens, straightening out my old 401(k)s and other financial matters, and some consulting work. I spend too much time online, on a ski forum and a chicken-raising/gardening forum as well as here, but avoid games, Facebook, and the like since the forums already soak up too much time.

I think I would go nuts playing around on the computer all day. I vote for more hikes together! For you and for us! We ski together in winter; that works well.

 

[24601NoMore]

Well, I'm going to find out shortly as DW's last day of work was yesterday - after 35 years with her last company and around 40 years total w*rk. I RE'd early Jan this year, so it'll be both of us with no paychecks (yikes) now.

Fortunately, neither of us watch a huge amount of TV. An hour or so a day, max.

We're planning an African safari, and finishing planning for that plus exercise, working on finances and cooking pretty much takes up all of my time. Now that she's done as well, that's going to be a big help as we can split up some of the work.

After we get back from Africa, there's going to be a lot more free time and it's going to be an adjustment for both of us, I'm sure..she's a very giving person and wants to do charity work, spend a lot more time with her brothers and sisters and has a lot of interests like crafts. So, I'm sure we'll be fine both being done - it's the "no more paychecks" part that makes me slightly terrified. That's a big adjustment.

 

[kfsinc]

Timely thread here. I left BigSoftware in June at 63. FIRECalc and others tell me that we can maintain our current life style till 80 or so followed by a modest reduction in spend till we're 95 or more. DW still works at a gratifying, but low paying job at the local High School. She's terrified that we'll run out of money, and that I'll spend way too much time at home. Someone above said: "too much husband, not enough money"

She's very much of a get up and get things done kind of person, me - not so much. I know my more leisurely pace drives her nuts. I do have a 'list' provided by DW, but can't say that I'm killing it as my motivation is rather low.

I'm contemplating some solo travel to give her some space as well as to work down my 'bucket list' of items that she's not interested in.

I'm also finding that I need an externally supplied schedule - dare I say job? - to get me out of the house and moving and to help the marriage.

I must say this FIRE thing can be difficult if you and your spouse are not on the same page - and I fear we're not...

 

[JustCurious]

I don't expect my own life to change much after retiring. I'll probably still keep working at least part time for a while ...

Some would say you are not retired if you continue to work.

 

[Teacher Terry]

He is self employed so works from home. Which is much different than working for someone.

 

[oscar1]

I can’t recommend this book enough. It focuses on the non-financial things in retirement that are key to you being happy. Very easy read with a few paper exercises you can do to inspire your retirement lifestyle:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Retire-H...gateway&sprefix=How+to+retire+,aps,170&sr=8-1

 

[trumpeting_angel]

One can use a rigid definition of "retired," I suppose, but then one might miss all of the new things that are happening today, with FIRE, increased longevity, and new ideas about how we might use our time and sense of purpose after quitting the 9 to 5.

My friend Laura retired a few years ago, but still opens her (home-based) antiques store on weekends in the summer and leaf-peeping season. She also has a part-time gig at the local greenhouse, a job I envy. My friend Judy RE from an advertising firm, and runs a website, making a small but steady income from advertising and member donations.

My friend Jane works 12 hours a week at the local ski area during the season, which earns her a free pass, cutting expenses while bringing home a bit of income. My ex, Bob, continues to work as a contractor a few days here and there in the warm weather, but mostly for family and close friends.

All of these folks consider themselves retired. None of them (to my knowledge) needs the money in any survival sense. They don't mind the extra change, and they love the perks, but they are quite clear that this is the life they want after their working life. Nobody is sitting at a desk at MegaCorp,, certainly.

I'm experimenting myself. I've continued with consulting work that I've done for years. I decided recently that I like the money, which is great, and I like being finished with a report. I also like seeing old friends in the courthouse. But I hate having the work hang over my head, waiting for necessary records and information, unable to finish it, but dreading the writing. I'm thinking of quitting. I might prefer to work at the ski area 12 hours a week, for less money!

 

[JustCurious]

One can use a rigid definition of "retired," I suppose, but then one might miss all of the new things that are happening today, with FIRE, increased longevity, and new ideas about how we might use our time and sense of purpose after quitting the 9 to 5.

Anyone can spend their time however they choose, and anyone can consider themselves to be retired while continuing to work, but the word "retired" is defined by Merriam Webster as "withdrawn from one's position or occupation:having concluded one's working or professional career." Therefore, someone who considers themselves to be retired while continuing to work is not using a commonly accepted defintion of that word.

 

[Unpaintedhuffhines]

This is a good topic. My wife has been semi-retired for about 4 years (takes the occasional freelance gig that sounds interesting to her). She's got lots of friends, has workout buddies that she sees 4-5 times a week, getting back today from a 12 day running trip in Ireland, however, much of her day is alone in the house. She has virtually no stress.

I've got the opposite situation. Not retired (yet - thinking in one year), with a job that his fairly high stress, and high amount of international travel (50%-70%). This means I can't really sign up for the Wednesday night bowling league or play pickleball every Saturday with the boys. I have a couple of friends in town, but I really don't see them that often. So, taking up a hobby or spending more time with friends isn't that feasible in my current role. At least I haven't figured out how to do that (and after flying around the world, gone for 2 weeks, sometimes I just want to relax in my house).

That means retirement will be pretty drastic for me, and also my DW. She's used to having about 50%-70% of the time with me not in the house, and that will probably change to once or twice a year boy's weekend. She refuses to believe me when I say I am going to retire, and honestly, I don't know what I'd do with my time, but I am excited to find out.