Your Spouse After Retirement?

[trumpeting_angel]

Anyone can spend their time however they choose, and anyone can consider themselves to be retired while continuing to work, but the word "retired" is defined by Merriam Webster as "withdrawn from one's position or occupation:having concluded one's working or professional career." Therefore, someone who considers themselves to be retired while continuing to work is not using a commonly accepted defintion of that word.

I'm sure that Merriam-Webster and other authorities define retirement as you quote. But my point is that, given the size of the baby boom, the increased longevity we can expect (increasing further in the future), the FIRE movement, and other social changes occurring, this concept is undergoing change. We can call it whatever you like.

 

[JustCurious]

We can call it whatever you like.

We can call it semi-retired, or working part time, or partially retired, but you are not "retired" as that word is defined if you continue to work.

What word would you use to describe someone who no longer works? And if that word is retired, how do you distinguish someone who no longer works from someone who continues to work?

 

[HBD2019]

We can call it semi-retired, or working part time, or partially retired, but you are not "retired" as that word is defined if you continue to work.

What word would you use to describe someone who no longer works? And if that word is retired, how do you distinguish someone who no longer works from someone who continues to work?

My job makes me tired. When I'll leave it next month, retired seems wrong, as if I am tired and tired some more, so I am calling it untired.

 

[Finance Dave]

Wife and I are still making the adjustment to being around each other all the time. I am a night owl...going to bed at 1:30-2:30 AM and getting up at 10 AM. She is the opposite and likes to run the vacuum in the morning and do dishes, both of which wake me up.

We've had a few "discussions" about this and are working on compromising lol.

 

[mountainsoft]

likes to run the vacuum in the morning and do dishes, both of which wake me up.

Too funny, my wife does something similar. If I get up first, I grab my PJ's in the dark, sneak out of the bedroom quietly, get something to drink, and hang out in the office quietly until she gets up.

If she gets up first she flips on the closet light to grab her robe, opens and closes the bedroom door loudly, then goes in to make breakfast, clanking dishes, turning on the vent fan, running the blender, slamming the door to the laundry room, etc. Then she says "you didn't have to get up just because I did".... Yeah, right...

Going to bed is similar. If I go to bed first, I close the bedroom blind, remove the extra pillows from the bed, fold down the blanket on her side, and turn on her light for when she comes in.

When she goes to bed first she just climbs in bed. I then have to fumble around in the dark to close the blind, undress in the dark, try to sort through the pillows without seeing, figure out where the blankets are, and climb in. Which is usually followed by an irritated "why did you wake me up".

So, we usually try to go to bed and get up at the same time...

 

[JustCurious]

If she gets up first she flips on the closet light to grab her robe, opens and closes the bedroom door loudly, then goes in to make breakfast, clanking dishes, turning on the vent fan, running the blender, slamming the door to the laundry room, etc. Then she says "you didn't have to get up just because I did".... Yeah, right...

Um, I don't want to stir up anything, but have you told her about it? Did she continue to do those things even after you told her that it was disturbing you?

 

[mountainsoft]

Um, I don't want to stir up anything, but have you told her about it? Did she continue to do those things even after you told her that it was disturbing you?

Yep, I've mentioned it once or twice. After 33 years of marriage, it's just one of those little quirks I've learned to live with.

As I said, we usually get up and go to bed at the same time so it is rarely an issue.

 

[audreyh1]

Your wife is tired from everything she is doing. I would want to rest too. 2 TV’s and separate offices have been the secret to retirement success) We do some things together and some separate.

Give her some time after retirement to figure out how she wants to plan her day, however SHE wants it to be. If you feel you need some of your own space/time away from each other, then communicate that early on before it becomes a bigger issue.

Agree - wife is worn out. Needs time to decompress from work. I required no concrete goals of myself the first 6 months of retirement. I did stuff, but felt I was dragging a bit.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

I’m glad I wound down before retiring. I worked 3 days a week for the last two years. I was tired - of the commute, and of having my time scheduled for me - and that prompted my decision. But I dove right into my many projects.

 

[yakers]

I retired 11 years ago, DW 13 years ago, We're very happy spending a lot of time together but she REALLY liked the two years she had at home alone.