Just curious: Why did you not choose to hold him back?
These forums are full of introverts like your son—community college and living at home seems the best choice. I know three young men who failed spectacularly at three different large state schools and were dragged home. One buckled down in CC and returned in a year to the state school, one never finished even an AA from a CC, and one took seven more years to get a BA (he went part time to CC and a small liberal arts school, living at home the whole time) before getting a pharmacy degree (a few more years, full time, out of state!).
Good luck to your son!
Every year we said well it will be to embarrassing to him, he is passing after all, etc. In other words we caved every year.
I've got a huge filter bias towards failing to progress. Brother was given chance after chance after chance to change. What this coddling got him was at 40+ is actually starting his 2nd week at McDonald's, after a 4-6 month out of work period, and my parents still supporting him more or less.
A couple of years ago now DW and I began talking about a gap year to mature. Last June we told him we would evaluate his actions, and the options were laid out in front of him, gap year, work, CC or best University. We told him that around December we would decide his path. He continued to not spark so to speak. We had to drive the application process. We still saw grade drops. etc
The CC option though fine, would be a huge embarrassment for him, and do nothing to push him to develop more social skills hence the time out of the house requirement.
Addressing a few other thoughts:
Military I would love it, but no support from DW.
ADHD - Tested, and no. He is actually quite bright, but not applying what he has
INTG-I thought it would be the proper term to describe a smart but shy and reserved person.
Again he doesn't want to attend the local University, it was just the only one to accept him for his major.
He could go to the local UNI, spark alive, and do great. But if he fails it will set in motion a path forward that would be much more difficult then either of the two options we are putting before him.
Our ultimate goal is to get him out of the house able to live on his own and not spring back because he is afraid to get out of his "social" comfort zone.