Are You A Christmas Scrooge?

[mountainsoft]

Hi, I'm mountainsoft, and I'm a Christmas Scrooge. I start feeling tense sometime before Thanksgiving and it doesn't let up till a few days after Christmas. I'm just not excited about all the stuff that comes with Christmas. I've already done Christmas 55 times and I guess I'm just bored with it. Been there, done that. But anytime I vocalize this to someone you would think I'm kicking tiny kittens or something.

First are all the decorations. I'm not against a few items here and there, but who do you think has to carry the huge 50 pound boxed artificial tree down from the garage attic and set it up in the house. Nearly gives me a heart attack every year if I'm lucky enough not to fall down the steep stairs. WHY do we need an eight foot tall tree? Then there's the eight large storage boxes of decorations cluttering up the house. I keep asking my wife if we can downsize the decorations, but every year she buys more decorations and nothing ever leaves until it's completely worn out. A few weeks later we have to pack it all up again. What a pain.

Then there are all those parties and family gatherings. I absolutely hate those things. I don't like being in groups of people, especially when I have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Such a waste of time when I would rather be doing something I enjoy. I managed to avoid a couple, but now I'm stuck going to one with family this weekend that I'm already dreading. I just saw all the same people yesterday at a funeral, why do we have to get together again?

And the gifts, my God, the gifts. PLEASE don't get me anything. I'm so tired of receiving junk that just sits around. I can't get rid of it for fear of offending someone, but I know I'll never use it. Like coffee mugs, I don't drink coffee, I prefer my set of 4 that match the rest of our dishes, but I keep getting mugs. Hand wash only, of course, and who do you think ends up having to wash them. I can barely close the cabinet door because there's like 20 coffee mugs in there. I can't remember the last time I actually received a gift that I actually wanted and could use.

Joy, Joy, Jingle, whatever. Bah Humbug.

 

[HFWR]

Happy holidays!

 

[pacergal]

How about asking family to donate to a charity of your choice instead of giving you something you don't want or need?
What about volunteering at a shelter instead of going to a gathering? "oh, so sorry I am busy that day, can't attend"
Enjoy the fact that you are healthy and alive for another year to see Christmas again.
Enjoy the wonder on a childs face when they see holiday decorations or visit Santa.

 

[JustCurious]

I do agree that gift giving has gotten out of hand...all of those "holiday sales" and the constant ads and the "Black Friday deals"...and on and on. It is too much. Unfortunately we have distorted the true meaning of Christmas and turned it into an excuse for weeks and weeks of shopping and spending.

Here is a question for the group...when does the 12 days of Christmas start? I challenge anyone reading this to answer the question without looking it up.

 

[GravitySucks]

Simplify.
What's the point of doing so much that it ruins the joy.
Tell DW the over doing it bothers you. She might decide enough is enough too.
Ask everyone to donate to your favorite charity instead. In fact I'm going to send out a text message now telling my family just that.

 

[mountainsoft]

The garbage, dear Lord, the mountains of garbage we throw out every year. The box the useless item is sold in, shipped in a larger box with more packing materials, removed from the shipping box and wrapped in more paper. All to be thrown out after digging down to the useless item.

And more food at one meal than some villages eat in a year. So much work to prepare, so much money spent, so many calories we don't need, and I'm so sick of eating it all by the time it's done. Oh, and let's not forget the extra food you have to buy and prepare for all those social gatherings I don't want to go to in the first place.

The amount of money that is wasted at Christmas just makes me cringe. I would rather put that money in savings for when I really want or need to buy something useful.

I would enjoy Christmas a lot more if it was just my wife and I, a little Christmas tree I could carry with one hand, and maybe a few decorations. Rather than waste money on useless gifts, let's go do something. I enjoyed going out to see lights at the zoo, and the grotto, and a couple other small displays. It was something new, an adventure to enjoy together, and it didn't cost much. But I don't want to do the same thing every year, like going to see the Nutcracker for the 20th time. Heck, Christmas on a beach in Hawaii would be sweet, but that's just blasphemy!

 

[RobbieB]

I'm happy to be "back in the game"

I didn't do this stuff after my wife died, new wife is a Christmas junkie and I'm glad to be back.

 

[mountainsoft]

How about asking family to donate to a charity of your choice instead of giving you something you don't want or need?

Most of the time I don't even know I'm receiving a gift. I show up and people are sticking boxes in my face. My sister-in-law knows nothing about me but still buys me things I have absolutely no use for. Have you EVER seen me wear one of those? What on earth makes people think I would want that?

What about volunteering at a shelter instead of going to a gathering? "oh, so sorry I am busy that day, can't attend"

I rarely get a choice in the matter. "Yes dear" is easier than tears and "you don't like anything", and hearing how I've just ruined Christmas. Actually, I wasn't even asked this time, it's just assumed I'm attending. Yeah, that's my life.

Enjoy the fact that you are healthy and alive for another year to see Christmas again.

As I sit bored out of my mind at the next family gathering thinking "Lord, please take me now..."

Enjoy the wonder on a childs face when they see holiday decorations or visit Santa.

The kids are all grown and no grand kids are on the horizon. They would probably annoy me anyway. Be quiet, grandpa's trying to listen for Santa.

 

[gwraigty]

I understand.

 

[mountainsoft]

I'm happy to be "back in the game"

Oh the house lights! Send me out in the cold and rain to untangle cords and hang them on the house. We live out in the country, no one is going to see them. I'm not spending two hours in the cold so you can have a twinkling light the 5 seconds you drive in the driveway.

 

[Midpack]

“Everything (good) in moderation. We exchange modest gifts and we have modest decorations inside and out. Some people go nuts, but evidently they enjoy it, all good. We kinda like driving around the week before Christmas and seeing everyone else’s Christmas decorations, glad they put the time and money into it, I wouldn’t...

 

[mountainsoft]

Simplify.
What's the point of doing so much that it ruins the joy.
Tell DW the over doing it bothers you. She might decide enough is enough too.

Believe me, I've tried. It's not like I'm asking to cancel Christmas, just to keep it small, personal, and less stressful. Apparently I'm a mean and horrible man who doesn't like anything. Or so I've been told. Oh, and keeping my feelings to myself is also no substitute for full on Christmas nirvana. So I've learned to play along to the best of my ability.

 

[Chuckanut]

No, I am not a Christmas Scrooge.

I do not let those who would ruin Christmas, ruin it for me. I enjoy it. I buy gifts for some people, but do not go overboard. Everybody gets a bag of my homemade Christmas cookies. While nobody would mistake me for a Saint, I do include the religious significance in my Christmas celebrations.

I also decided years ago - after talking to a very wise old priest - that the best way to not let the various grinches get to me was to celebrate the true 12 days of Christmas - 12/25 to 1/6. That stretches things out leaving time to visit people and enjoy life.

But, to each his own. This is my 2¢. And if I see you between 12/25 and 1/6, even if you abhor Christmas, you will still get a bag of cookies.

 

[mountainsoft]

Traditions, Sheesh. WHY do we have to do the same thing every year. Why do we always have ham for Christmas. Why can't we have a stir-fry, or bratwurst, or chili? I like ham, but just because it's Dec 25th doesn't mean I'm in the mood for it. I'm probably not gonna be in the mood on the 26th, 27th, or 28th either, but I can bet I'll still be eating it.

Actually, several years ago my father-in-law was in the hospital at Christmas. We ended up going out to Shari's for our Christmas dinner since we didn't have time to prepare anything. Not the greatest food, but I enjoyed doing something different and it ended up being one of my most memorable Christmas's.

 

[athena53]

I feel your pain.

Fortunately, there's very little gift-giving among adults in my family, so that simplifies a lot. A couple of otherwise good people who married into the family have a hard time with that and occasionally I've been asked to contribute towards a new TV for Dad or a deluxe Kitchenaid mixer for Mom, but spread among 5 siblings, with someone else doing the actual purchase and wrapping, it's manageable. Mom died 3 years ago and Dad is 89. He can buy whatever he wants, which isn't much.

My late husband and I cut way back on decorating years ago and now, living alone, I do very little. To use a word over-used by marketers, for me it's about experiences. I took my granddaughters (and their parents and baby brother) to the Sugar Plum Fairy Ball,a kid-friendly lunch put on by the ballet. I just dropped off the last of 31 hand-written letters (with a page of pictures) at the Post Office. Thursday I'm heading to SC to visit Dad and my siblings over Christmas. And yes, I'm going to church, too.

So- I have the luxury of ignoring Black Friday sales starting weeks early, Cyber Monday, Costco's 12 days of deals, e-mails with last-minute gift suggestions from every retailer I've ever shopped....life is good. I just ordered myself prescription diving goggles this AM and if that's all I get I'll be happy.

 

[mountainsoft]

Everybody gets a bag of my homemade Christmas cookies.

Now see, THAT's a gift I can use. I love cookies, I eat them, they make me happy, they're gone. The perfect gift (minus the extra 5 pounds gained).

 

[mountainsoft]

Dad is 89. He can buy whatever he wants... for me it's about experiences.

Exactly. If I want something, I research it and buy exactly what I want, not what someone else thinks I should have.

I would rather share experiences we can remember the rest of our lives. My wife loves everything to do with Christmas, but I think she would even have a hard time remembering anything from last Christmas or the year before. It's the same thing, year after year. A lot of time, effort, and money that will be forgotten one month later.

 

[LRDave]

After too many years of over-consumerism on both sides of the family, it has finally calmed down to no gifts exchanged between adults on both sides. This was a welcome relief.

I hear this same story a lot from my contemporaries and on forums like this. I wonder if the Christmas consumerism cult might possibly abate?

I think mindful observation, reflection and celebration of the winter solstice is appropriate. With the exception of a creche, that's where most of the decorations and traditions originate. I feel the same about the other 3 equinoxes as well. I feel that the pull of the changing seasons reaches all of us at some level and we are drawn to acknowledge these milestones in some way.

I'm just glad it's not: "Please share your Amazon gift list...." or "Does grandad wear a medium or a large in pullover sweaters?' anymore!

 

[jollystomper]

I enjoy Christmas. I control it, I do not let it control me. I "paid my dues" as our kids grew up, making it the best for them. Now that they are grown, I make it the best for DW and myself.

We have differences about what to do for this holiday time, but we strike a good balance. I ask myself, when I differ with my DW on some aspect, is this a hill I am willing to die on. A few times the answer is yes, but most of the time the answer is no. For those things I differ with, it is not a big deal, I can put up with things for a month. Don't worry, be happy.

 

[Arizona1]

And what time do you have to go to these multiple places for Christmas dinner?
2pm! Everyone wants 2 pm so somebody is always upset your giving 2pm to someone you like better.
We’re in the Yucatán for a month now. Wife has a big family of Mayans about 4 feet high and can’t speak English. She says the get together will include a lamb cooked underground inside banana leaves.
I would really appreciate cookies!

 

[ransil]

Im with the OP, we should hang out [emoji16] we could sit and ignore each other.

 

[PatrickA5]

Traditions, Sheesh. WHY do we have to do the same thing every year. Why do we always have ham for Christmas. Why can't we have a stir-fry, or bratwurst, or chili? I like ham, but just because it's Dec 25th doesn't mean I'm in the mood for it. I'm probably not gonna be in the mood on the 26th, 27th, or 28th either, but I can bet I'll still be eating it.

Actually, several years ago my father-in-law was in the hospital at Christmas. We ended up going out to Shari's for our Christmas dinner since we didn't have time to prepare anything. Not the greatest food, but I enjoyed doing something different and it ended up being one of my most memorable Christmas's.

I have tried over the years to get DW to go out to eat on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let someone else do all of the work! But, it never happens. I counted 13 coming to our Christmas dinner this year. Our table holds 8. Oh well.

At least we have a couple of young grandkids now. It helps to watch their excitement.

Overall, I'm not a Scrooge, but I'm always glad when it's over and all of the stuff goes back in the attic.

 

[24601NoMore]

Then there are all those parties and family gatherings. I absolutely hate those things. I don't like being in groups of people, especially when I have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Such a waste of time when I would rather be doing something I enjoy. I managed to avoid a couple, but now I'm stuck going to one with family this weekend that I'm already dreading. I just saw all the same people yesterday at a funeral, why do we have to get together again?

OMG, I could have written the above - verbatim.

DW has a large family, and they LOVE to get together. To sit. And talk. For HOURS. At least once a month, and often many more times than that - especially during the "holidays" when it seems the #1 thing to do on their list is to "visit". Drives me batty, especially as I have an almost unlimited number of things I'd rather be doing and just sitting around for HOURS is all but impossible for me to tolerate..an hour..maybe. Two hours? Starting to really push it..but, 4-5 hours of just SITTING and talking? UGH!!

Even worse, they love to see each other within (literally) days of the last time they all saw each other. Have a funeral where you see everyone? Don't worry - they'll have a "gathering" the very next day. Then, a few days later. And then again, maybe the following weekend.

They always celebrate Christmas on Dec 24, so thankfully we don't have the scheduling conflicts that most families have. I can manage to slug it out through a LONG day on Christmas eve, but then, they insist on getting together for MULTIPLE gatherings between Christmas and New Years. (This year, for some crazy reason, they want not only to get together on New Years eve, but then again on New Years Day..) UGH!! How much can you possibly talk about with the same people you just saw a day or two earlier?

OP - I feel your pain..oh, do I feel your pain..

 

[Walt34]

I can sort of understand but luckily DW is the same as me about it as far as decorations go. We have a 4-foot artificial tree that is stored in the basement, comes out a week or so before Dec. 25, and is back in the basement by New Year's, usually sooner. A trash bag covers it, and we're done. No outside decorations at all, I'm not in competition with anyone for that award.

We don't buy gifts for ourselves or for any other adults, everyone came to their senses on that decades ago - thankfully. Those under 18 get gifts, and when they're between 0 and 12, DW admittedly goes a little nutso on it, but since it's once a year, she's reasonable about the spending, and it brings her so much happiness, I don't mind. And I like seeing her get some joy out of it. I actually like all but one of my in-laws and the one isn't all that bad a few times a year so I can be polite for half a day or so. A glass or two of wine helps. And everyone likes the photos I take.

 

[aja8888]

We’re in the Yucatán for a month now. Wife has a big family of Mayans about 4 feet high and can’t speak English. She says the get together will include a lamb cooked underground inside banana leaves.
I would really appreciate cookies!

I once went to a party where a pig was roasted underground covered by leaves. Unbelievably great pork! I'll bet that lamb will be a big hit!