Meeting people around the same age?

[Amethyst]

I don't have that 2-way frenemy thing going on - I couldn't stand the hypocrisy. Instead, I am invariably the last to know that someone is only pretending to like me. Until I hear about the back-stabbing, I still like them.

I must be very gullible.

Amethyst

 

[Lsbcal]

Amethyst, I don't think you are gullible. You don't want to blame yourself for others faults. Trust but verify -- sounds like what you are doing and that takes some time for feedback to occur.

 

[Major Tom]

I do find that the more fun folks are substantially younger than us, so we gravitate toward them more than most folks our ages.

One of my Grandmas lived to the age of 102. When she was in her 80's my Dad tried to get her to go out and mix a bit more. He suggested the idea of her going on a senior citizen's daytrip on a chartered coach. She hated the idea because there would be "too many old people"

 

[ziggy29]

Interesting that this is the second time in 2 days that I've come across that word, which is new to me. The first instance was in a conversation on a trail when I happened upon a "trail friend", me running and him walking. I didn't think I had the experience of a frenemy until I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary here: Urban Dictionary: frenemy

It turns out I've had a frenemy or two. These types in particular from the above source rang some bells:

Political postings on Facebook walls in particular are good for bringing the "frenemies" out.

 

[Amethyst]

Oh dear. Several of my FB friends are constantly posting political stuff that makes my skin absolutely crawl. But I like them anyway, because they're good to me.

Amethyst

Political postings on Facebook walls in particular are good for bringing the "frenemies" out.

 

[Khan]

It's just something that is characteristic of females. I sort-of got the concept after reading Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Understand; Women and Men in Conversation.

The behavior has something to do with "building/maintaining a relationship" and what is so difficult to understand is that apparently what they talk about is almost irrelevant, as long as they're talking.

Men talk to exchange information and when that task is accomplished they stop talking. Women will never understand this.

That's why when a husband doesn't say anything to his wife for three hours she starts to think something's wrong with the relationship, when in fact nothing is wrong, it's just that he didn't have anything to say.

That's why it is important to listen to DW even when she's apparently just yakking for the sake of yakking, but what she's really doing in her mind is working on maintaining the relationship. So just nod your head and say "Yeah" once in a while and go on thinking about whatever else it was that you were thinking about.

Now, if DW doesn't say anything for three hours, I know there's a problem.

This stuff is really up there with trying to understand nuclear physics so it should be easy for you to get.

Just more evidence that I am not really a woman.

 

[Lsbcal]

Ah, so this frenemy stuff came from FB? I'm an FB virgin myself and probably will remain so.

BTW, I was in the market the other day and witnessed a male worker confronting a female. It had something to do with her hours worked and where she was when not at work. She asked how he knew and he said he read it on her FB posting. This was while I was contemplating what chips to buy. Amazing and a sign of the times I guess.

 

[arebelspy]

Ah, so this frenemy stuff came from FB? I'm an FB virgin myself and probably will remain so.

No, I heard of it at least a decade ago, well before Facebook existed. It's just a cute term some use for people they smile and at talk * about behind their back.

 

[Major Tom]

Oh dear. Several of my FB friends are constantly posting political stuff that makes my skin absolutely crawl. But I like them anyway, because they're good to me.

Amethyst

I've posted a few political rants on FB, which is usually pretty safe territory for me as nearly all my FB friends are people that I know in person - and we're all of similar political persuasions. However, one or two radio hams that I know online and on the air, but not in person, have joined me on FB recently and it makes the equation a bit weird, as most of them are of a different political leaning.

I'd be happy if they were to pipe up and engage me in conversation about it but they're keeping very quiet, so I think it's possible that after having identified me as coming from "the other side" they're keeping an awkward silence and are possibly wishing they hadn't requested FB friendships!

Aah well

 

[HFWR]

Frankly, I think the older chicks are hotter.

Which is convenient, because the younger chicks have little interest in boinking grandpa...

Most of ether friends are 15 - 20 years younger; and [-]I[/-] they often don't know what they are talking about.

FIFY

As long as people don't want to talk about politics, I'm game for both superficial and serious conversations.

In the right context, I enjoy talking politics. I don't however, enjoy discussing politics with folks who have no desire to solve a problem, only bash people over the head with rigid, hackneyed ideology...

And above all else, I'm happiest when I can find people who can laugh. There are far too many folks I encounter that take themselves and life far more seriously than needed.

^^^ This... ^^^

Political postings on Facebook walls in particular are good for bringing the "frenemies" out.

+1

Just more evidence that I am not really a woman.

"You are what you are, and you ain't what you ain't..." John Prine, Dear Abby

 

[haha]

But I like them anyway, because they're good to me.

Amethyst

That is my criterion too. I easily accept anything about your religion, politics, sex life, attitude toward animals or ecology as long as you are loyal to me. In return, I am always loyal and don't think that I have ever betrayed a confidence. I also am emotionally and physically warm with men and women.

I have had some very close male friends, but life goes on and many of them move away and since this type of man is not common they get increasingly hard to substitute. As we get older, many men will find that if they want soul buddies they will increasingly need to turn to nonsexual relationships with women.

Ha

 

[EveryLady]

I didn't think I had the experience of a frenemy until I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary here: Urban Dictionary: frenemy

It turns out I've had a frenemy or two. These types in particular from the above source rang some bells:

Very interesting - and so that's what *it* was, it being a strangled relationship with an acquaintance who became ill and needed some assistance just about the time I'd decided the connection wasn't going to turn into a friendship. At least on my end.

What it did become for me was a real morale dilemma. No way did I not want provide some logistical support during a time of need; figured I should suck it up and handle the tension. But still came away more often than not with jangled nerves that turned into too-frequent rants imposed on friends. Not cool ...

And guess so on her end to. In the space of a week I went from being an "angel" to (thank heavens) a pariah the minute I finally felt her health had reached a point where I could say no to a (at this point, really boundary-stretching and inappropiate) request.

A frenemy? Definitely not worth it ... either having one or being one.

 

[audreyh1]

I like having friends to DO things with. I really couldn't care less about the talking part.

Audrey

 

[audreyh1]

Just more evidence that I am not really a woman.

+1 [I am referring to myself just in case that wasn't clear]

 

[audreyh1]

We always met people by going out and doing what we liked to do.

We retired very young - in our early 40s. But we already didn't very have many friends our age because most people our age were busy raising kids and we didn't have any.

We met lots of people going out and doing things. A lot of times these were older people because they were the only ones that had time to go out and birdwatch, RV, etc. The other folks were too busy raising families. There was an occasional single person or childless couple closer to our age out doing things the same things.

Now that we are in our 50s, we're starting to run into a lot more people also in their 50s who are newly retired, and no longer raising families. That's kind of nice! But not essential. I think we started meeting these people mainly because we moved into a 55+ community.

We still enjoyed spending time with older folks when we were younger. We had plenty in common so the age differences didn't matter much.

Audrey

 

[braumeister]

This is a most interesting thread.

Thinking about it, I have five extremely close friends in my life.
One is female, and referred to as DW.
The other four are male (possibly related to the fact that my w*rking years were all in mostly male organizations). None of them has ever met any of the others.

Of those four, one is 23 years younger, one is roughly my age (the only one with whom I have leisure activities in common with), one is six years older, and one is 21 years older. That's a 44 year span of ages, but when I get together with any of them, the age difference is completely invisible, and there is never a need to "take it into consideration."

I think I'm very lucky to have so many.

 

[Major Tom]

Just more evidence that I am not really a woman.

I took it to mean more evidence that I am not fully a man

I have my "caveman" times when I don't want to talk or be talked to unless it's to exchange information. It's during those times that when my SO calls me up to tell me how her day is going I cant quite understand why she's telling me all this stuff - none of it seems relevant to - well, anything really. We've talked about it a few times and I got her to admit what I suspected - that there are plenty of times when I'm talking about things that she's not interested in either, but she knows they're important to me, so she plays along. As a broad generalization, I don't think that women talk more than men, it's just that sometimes they talk about stuff we're not that interested in (and vice versa.)

Every time I start a sentence with "You know, if I lived in an RV......" I can sense her thinking "Here he goes again." Same goes for the times that she tells me about some new hair treatment-thingummy she found at Walgreens.

 

[braumeister]

I cant quite understand why she's telling me all this stuff - none of it seems relevant to - well, anything really. We've talked about it a few times and I got her to admit what I suspected - that there are plenty of times when I'm talking about things that she's not interested in either, but she knows they're important to me, so she plays along.

This is why I'm eternally grateful that I married someone who is much smarter than I am. She can deal with the differences, so I don't have to worry about it.

 

[Amethyst]

Years ago I had an S.O. who would call me up on weeknights to chatter for 45 minutes about his alma mater's basketball team. I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I just put the phone on my shoulder and puttered around the kitchen doing this and that. Then he would abruptly tell me he had to get off the phone, just as if I'd been doing everything I could to keep him on the line.

In the end, it amazed me that he could take it as his "right" that I would listen to his twaddle, in which he knew I could not possibly have the slightest interest. Even more amazing, that I put up with it.

Amethyst

IIt's during those times that when my SO calls me up to tell me how her day is going I cant quite understand why she's telling me all this stuff - none of it seems relevant to - well, anything really.

 

[sengsational]

+1 on meetup.com and just go do something you like to do...the rest will fall into place and age won't be a factor.

With guys, it seems to be they are not really interested in deeper feelings. It's more about parallel play. You should be doing something together like maybe golf.

Or brewing beer.

Of those four, one is 23 years younger, one is roughly my age (the only one with whom I have leisure activities in common with), one is six years older, and one is 21 years older. That's a 44 year span of ages, but when I get together with any of them, the age difference is completely invisible, and there is never a need to "take it into consideration."

And how many of the four also brew beer, just the one?

 

[braumeister]

And how many of the four also brew beer, just the one?

Right, but it's the one 23 years younger than me. They all drink beer, of course.

They all live in different cities, separated by many hundreds of miles, so they've never met each other.

 

[sengsational]

They all drink beer, of course.

which at least partially explains your popularity

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

I do not have the problem of being too young for those in my social group. I do relate to the problem of making new friends in new places. I have buds all over the world, though. The internet and Skype keeps contact. For example, here. When I stop working and ramble more (hopefully), I figure to find people through activities.

 

[Birchwood]

I will be retiring this year at 62 yrs. We are going to move to a city, where I perceive there are going to be more activities and hobbies , thus friends to develop. We don't know anybody there, so it is important to belong to groups of same interests.
I'm into exercises, so I check on a good gym to belong to.
I can develop some casual acquantances there.
I intend to go to the libraries for my investment and financial work.
That will take much of weekdays afternoon.

There's two camera clubs in the region, both are very active and have monthly trips.

There's a hiking club too, with weekly and monthly trips.

I also checked on meet up groups. There's a lot of avenue.

There's lectures in the university for retired people.

The church is one option for me and my wife to meet some folks.
If I can belong to an investment club, that will complete it.

I guess I'll be busy!

 

[sengsational]

I will be retiring this year at 62 yrs. We are going to move to a city, where I perceive there are going to be more activities and hobbies , thus friends to develop.

The kind of support network that's supposed to be the best for longevity include the kind of folks you'd feel comfortable just dropping-by their place anannounced. I've been afraid of moving to a new place because it would take a while to build that level of trust with a new select few.

--Dale--