Retire at Holiday Inn instead of retirement home?

[foxfirev5]

Having spent over 3000 nights in Hilton Hotels alone I can't imagine living in one. My objective every week while working was to get the job done ASAP and go HOME.

 

[brucethebroker]

What exactly is there to do in a HI....sit on the couch, and watch TV until you die ?

If it were near a big city park, or national park, or possibly walking distance from shopping, library, YMCA, but all of those areas have $150 a night hotels. I think it would drive most sane people crazy in short order.

Per the article: "Holiday Inn also provides a spa, swimming pool, gym, lounge and washer-dryers, but the amenities don't stop there. The location where Robison checked out reservations has a city bus stop right in front, where seniors can ride for free.

In addition, guests can "take the airport shuttle bus" to eat at one of the restaurants at the local airport for "a change of scenery," he wrote. From there, they can take a flight to another Holiday Inn as well, he mused."

 

[brucethebroker]

Wow...I thought it was just me. Funny this story showed up today.

Also, correctly stated, it is much cheaper than a Retirement Home . It is in NO way meant to be a substitute for a Nursing Home, and I don't think that was/is the individuals intent here.

Seriously, I have been contemplating something exactly like this for quite awhile.

As I type this, I am in actual negotiations with a major national hotel chain to allow me to move between chain hotels at a fixed, pre-paid, price for a one year period. That, combined with a one year Amtrak pass and it seems to me a Fella' could have his-self some fun.

Will report here as it does, or does not , proceed.

Interesting-please report back.

 

[Omega]

****EDIT****
I left a rant I have now deleted. I assume your post was a slap to my face with the remark about honor because you quoted me. Perhaps you'll clarify that, perhaps not. My face is numb from the slaps received dealing with the reality caring for my father. I once had a noble notion of caring for my father before he moved in as well. His loss of dignity has humbled me to tears. In any case, I hope you are thankful to the Almighty for your own positive experience.

My intention was ABSOLUTELY NOT to be a slap in your face! I am horrified that you took it that way and I apologize that my comment caused you even a moment of pain! I am sincerely sorry for your experience caring for your father.

To clarify, I meant that we considered it an honor to care for our parents and I hope that my daughter will consider it an honor to have me live with her if I wanted to (to be part of the family and to help them), and care for me if that time comes if she is she is able to do so. And I hope she doesn't consider it selfish of me to want that.

To be fair, some of the things you said in response to my post were harsh, but I respect your opinion and chose to assume you had good intentions.

 

[Aerides]

In some families and cultures it's desired, and expressed as a two-way thing, to have elder parents live with their children for longer term care.

In others, it's not remotely the case, and yes, would be a great imposition. If the parent is doing the assuming without the child expressing the desire, then it becomes selfish, especially if that child is still raising their own kids.

The key for those who are unsure is to have very clear dialogue long in advance, and a relationship dynamic that makes it work. A older parent needing care can place strains on a marriage, whether in home or not.

For me and my parents, and DH with his, nope, no way, absolutely not. They would no sooner want to live with us than we'd want them to do so. Everyone is very independent and no one has medical training, and we don't have an "in-law-suite" or anything that would make it easier.

Back to the OP, ew... No I would not want to live in a HI or Motel for a long period. Now, if one day it's just me, and I'm a rich old lady, sure I could see myself taking months-long stays around the world in fancy schmancy hotels, and cruises, but I would be seriously blowing the dough.

 

[Music Lover]

Some people live in cheap hotels b/c they can't afford to live elsewhere. Holiday Inn is an upgrade of sort but not much different than what those people are doing. Swimming pool, fitness center, etc.. sound all good but at the end, it's a sad life.

I guess it depends on your perspective.

Some people look forward to living in a 20' camper for most of the year when they retire and to me that's more depressing to me than a hotel with a fitness center.

Also, a hotel with a kitchenette isn't much different than a 600 sq. ft. condo that costs $800,000.

 

[Al18]

I've stayed at a number of Holiday Inns during my working career and all were good for a 1-3 night stay. The only one that I wanted to stay during a vacation was on Grand Cayman island, and suites start at $162 per night.

 

[txtig]

Back in my working days, I spent over two years “living” in a hotel in south Louisiana, where I was working on a large project. Rather than move permanently, I chose to stay in a hotel and commute home on weekends. I’d fly over to the job location Monday mornings and return home on Friday evenings.

There were several of us living at the same hotel. My fellow workers and the hotel staff began to feel like family. They had daily breakfast and happy hours for us several nights per week. I could have rented an apartment instead, but I preferred staying at the hotel. No housecleaning for me. And, I got to indulge in a lot of great Cajun food, since all meals were eaten at local restaurants (but, I did put on quite a few pounds over the two years of living like this).

All in all, it wasn’t too bad. But, not so sure I’d want to do it again.

 

[ncbill]

Sorry you had such a bad experience taking care of your father, that wasn't our experience at all. Some families consider it an honor to have the older generation live with them.

Sure, that might work if the older relative only has physical limitations, but good luck with that if your older relative has any form of cognitive impairment.

We tried the "keep mom at home with a caregiver" after her dementia diagnosis.

That lasted all of six months before we had to place her into a locked ALF so she wouldn't wander off & walk into traffic (she'd walk almost in the middle of the street)

Back to the OP, IMHO more people will be dying at home or in assisted living than in nursing care.

 

[gwraigty]

****EDIT****
I left a rant I have now deleted. I assume your post was a slap to my face with the remark about honor because you quoted me. Perhaps you'll clarify that, perhaps not. My face is numb from the slaps received dealing with the reality caring for my father. I once had a noble notion of caring for my father before he moved in as well. His loss of dignity has humbled me to tears. In any case, I hope you are thankful to the Almighty for your own positive experience.

I just want to say that I felt your pain in that post. I understand where you're coming from. I've been involved to some degree or other in caring for a few of my elderly relatives who could no longer care for themselves, starting in my teens and continuing through 2002.

Depending on the nature and severity of the issues, physical, mental, or some combination, it can be relatively easy or almost impossible and a risk to one's own physical and mental health. Sometimes it starts out easy, then the person rapidly deteriorates. Sometimes the person undergoes dramatic personality changes due to medical issues (dementia/stroke/etc.) and they're not the person you knew and loved and who cared for you. It can be like trying to care for a combative stranger who hates you.

Sometimes the person will sleep all day and be awake most of the night, keeping you up. Try doing that when you have to go to work every day. And when someone starts requiring significant medical care, the professionals are much better equipped to handle them.

IMO, it has little to do with "honor".

 

[CDRE]

What's a "retirement home"?

Oh, it is where the human side of the FIRE members of this community stay.

 

[Omega]

Thanks for making this point. My daughter and I have had discussions on the subject.

 

[Spock]

Thanks for making this point. My daughter and I have had discussions on the subject.

My experience is prior discussions are pointless.
Read up on the symptoms of senility/dementia... with the personality changes that occur you will be having conversations with Dr. Jekyll and end up with Mr. Hyde living under your roof. Gentle Grandpa becomes a paranoid tyrant. Grandpa doesn't remember doing something, so therefore you must have done it. "Oh... I see Grandpa has chosen not to wear pants again today".

Everybody ages differently. Some gracefully. Some not so much. You rarely get to chose which.

Don't put your kids in the position of having to tell their parent "no". If its an economic necessity, then its necessary. Otherwise "house guests are like fish, they should be thrown out after 3 days" applies in the best of circumstances. Dementia is not the best of circumstances.

 

[Omega]

My experience is prior discussions are pointless.
Read up on the symptoms of senility/dementia... with the personality changes that occur you will be having conversations with Dr. Jekyll and end up with Mr. Hyde living under your roof. Gentle Grandpa becomes a paranoid tyrant. Grandpa doesn't remember doing something, so therefore you must have done it. "Oh... I see Grandpa has chosen not to wear pants again today".

Everybody ages differently. Some gracefully. Some not so much. You rarely get to chose which.

Don't put your kids in the position of having to tell their parent "no". If its an economic necessity, then its necessary. Otherwise "house guests are like fish, they should be thrown out after 3 days" applies in the best of circumstances. Dementia is not the best of circumstances.

I'm all too familiar with dementia, unfortunately.

 

[robnplunder]

Moral of story: When you are old but well, you can do what you want. Cruise ship, Holiday Inn, RV on Walmart lots, whatever. When you get sick, nobody wants you. Which hotel or cruise ship wants a sick dying patient on their premise?

+1. And it often is a very long time after "the Holiday Inn" and before one dies.

 

[EastWest Gal]

When my son had to repeat part of his student teaching, he had left the area and needed to go back to his college vicinity for 8 weeks. He found an extended stay hotel run by a family. They treated him like family, he got a bit spoiled by the housekeeping. I know two people who had house fires and they lived in extended stay hotels for several months. It’s an interesting idea, a way to get housekeeping help while feeling like you are in an apartment. The weekly and monthly rates are much cheaper than daily rates too.

 

[May Ham]

A better idea

When we were on our cruises they told us there were people that sail full time. I would much rather do that. Of course health would have a lot to do with it. The main danger would be gaining too much weight!

 

[2177V]

Anyone has seen this article?
https://abcnews.go.com/US/64-year-plans-spend-golden-age-holiday-inn/story?id=61299655

Interesting idea to say the least. Obviously I say it in jest and one would have to be in a pretty good health to do this but an interesting idea nonetheless .

Thoughts?

Here is another interesting idea that is better than the Holiday Inn option, that I actually pulled it off....

I married a beautiful woman who is 20 years younger than me. No need to go to a retirement home since my young wife will serve my needs in exchange for my single family house that I purchased in cash which is also retirement friendly (single story, in-ground pool and hot tub, a gym and starbucks are nearby, etc).

 

[Dash man]

DW would never go for living on a cruise ship, but I would. We actually discussed today what we’ll need to do in the not too distant future about our living arrangements. We have a house on the Jersey Shore that was built long ago, but has been somewhat updated. It’s not old age friendly. We might consider tearing it down, and rebuilding a more modern house that is old age friendly, with an elevator and wider doorways. It would cost a bundle, but we could pay for it by selling our primary home or by selling investments. With my back problems and her knees, it might be best to plan sooner that later. Growing older really stinks!

 

[Canopybowstars]

You hear of seniors that are long term residents of cruise ships, extended stay hotel and suites./QUOTE]

I immediately thought of the cruise ship retirement option. Cunard has a 113 night cruise around the world that you could take for $152/night (based on double occupancy) and live in style.

The key point is living with less “baggage” and enjoying retirement.

 

[NW-Bound]

... I immediately thought of the cruise ship retirement option. Cunard has a 113 night cruise around the world that you could take for $152/night (based on double occupancy) and live in style.

The key point is living with less “baggage” and enjoying retirement.

Out of curiosity, I looked that up. The inside cabins are $17,169 x 2 = $34K for a couple.

You will be in port for 46 days, and at sea for 67 days with some stretches as long as 8 days. I wonder if that could be boring.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Yes dealing with physical issues is light years away from mental ones. I didn’t mind helping my mom care for my dad for 14 years but I didn’t have to live with him and couldn’t have. Helping my mom off and on during her 3 bouts of cancer was fine because there were 3 of us. The longest I stayed was 2 weeks. My 2 older siblings were retired during the last bout. I still did my share. I would never live with my kids and if they choose to help in the way we did for our parents I would be fine with that. If not I would never ask as it’s their choice. Unfortunately, my family and friends that needed nursing home care were not like being on a cruise ship as Skip mentioned. No one could afford that.

 

[Bestwifeever]

DH's family is extremely close and loving and neither of his parents lived with any of the four children (three of whom live in the same town as their parents)--they both passed away in nursing homes, one from an illness, one from old age. My parents passed away in their early 50s, long before they would have been nursing home candidates, but I do remember my aunt taking in my maternal grandmother for several months because she felt my uncles were neglecting her (my GM lived alone) and shipping her back because my GM could and did physically care for herself but had little short term memory and kept repeating herself all day--it was more than a saint could bear. GM had taken care of my GF for many years after a stroke until he died at home, but she herself ended up in a nursing home. I know my DD will have one of her inlaws (if not both) living with them as her DH is an only child from cultures that would do that, which is fine, but my DH and I will not be living with our children.

 

[robnplunder]

Retiring at Holiday Inn is like never have to take a soap home ....

 

[2177V]

Retiring on a cruise ship with a medical staff may entitle you to free medical care.