jollystomper
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2012
- Messages
- 6,223
In sum, I agree with the sentiments of "Its a symptom of a relationship issue" and "in your retirement you may be too dependent on her for socialization and she needs her time away". I have one of my retireed friends who spends the day in the library and senior center because his wife "kicks him out of the house", she needs a break from him.
One thing to consider - maybe go with her but do your own thing while she does hers?
For example, my wife likes to visit her mother and sister in Florida and do some vacation activities. I find these to be challenging, as they spend most of their time talking about controversial subjects and trying to one-up each other. Also, wife wants to sleep in her mothers house, which is a nice house but I kind of feel trapped if I have to stay there, for the above reasons.
So... my compromise is that if I come along, we will have a hotel room less than a mile from her mother's house. While they are doing their thing, I will do mine - go play golf, visit something interesting in the area, meet up with my friends in that area - and will show up again at dinner time. Then I will go to some evening activity (usually some sports game). If DW was to have a "pajama party" with her family and sleep in the house, fine. Otherwise, I pick her up and we head back to the hotel for the night.
This has worked out very well for us, even her mother is not offended (even though she did not like me in the past, because my wife is the only one of her children who is still married and has never asked her for money has softened her heart towards me ).
This may not be workable in every situation, but it is something to consider.
One thing to consider - maybe go with her but do your own thing while she does hers?
For example, my wife likes to visit her mother and sister in Florida and do some vacation activities. I find these to be challenging, as they spend most of their time talking about controversial subjects and trying to one-up each other. Also, wife wants to sleep in her mothers house, which is a nice house but I kind of feel trapped if I have to stay there, for the above reasons.
So... my compromise is that if I come along, we will have a hotel room less than a mile from her mother's house. While they are doing their thing, I will do mine - go play golf, visit something interesting in the area, meet up with my friends in that area - and will show up again at dinner time. Then I will go to some evening activity (usually some sports game). If DW was to have a "pajama party" with her family and sleep in the house, fine. Otherwise, I pick her up and we head back to the hotel for the night.
This has worked out very well for us, even her mother is not offended (even though she did not like me in the past, because my wife is the only one of her children who is still married and has never asked her for money has softened her heart towards me ).
This may not be workable in every situation, but it is something to consider.