The Cheap Thrill-Airport Security Measures run Wild

[FUEGO]

I'm hoping the phrase "Don't go all Brokeback Mountain on me" is quickly replaced by "Don't go all TSA on me".

 

[M Paquette]

When the TSA agent is waving me to a private room with a latex glove on one hand and a tube-a-lube in the other hand, I'll know that my air travel days are over

I don't think that is planned to roll out until November 2011.

Just think of the advertising tie-in, though. "Free Prostate or Pelvic Exam With Every Flight!"

 

[Ronstar]

Please use the phrase "Don't touch my junk" when passing through TSA.

Here's a funny anecdote from Penn's (of Penn & Teller) recent trip through airport security:

Penn & Teller | ROAD PENN

Didn't have a Penn experience - same old type securuity devices in phoenix - so I didn't have to scream " don't touch my junk". I did have a random palm swabbing though - not offensive at all. Everything went well.

It looks like there were some new machines in the area and it seemed like there were more TSA people wandering around - the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday could be be interesting for air travelers.

 

[BigNick]

So the question is how much plastic explosive can a terrorist shove up their......uh...you know...........

A kilogram: Al Qaeda Bombers Learn from Drug Smugglers - CBS Evening News - CBS News

Yes, it's already been done. It only has to be attempted at an airport and we'll have jumped the shark (well, to the extent that we didn't do that already).

 

[Badger]

I don't fly much anymore but maybe in the future my wife and I will use military flights instead. Althought we will be standby and may have to wait for an available flight it seems to be much safer from terroist attack.
On the other hand if there is a possible "silver lining" to TSA patdowns I would be more willing if I could choose an attractive female to conduct the search. Then it might be the best use so far of my tax money for their $10/hr pay. I might even go through the line twice!

Cheers!

 

[REWahoo]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

 

[easysurfer]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

That doesn't look good. I have a change of heart. I don't know who I feel more sorry for, the passenger or the TSA security officer.

As a passenger, it's one and done. As the officer, how many does he have to check in a days work?

 

[Bestwifeever]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

"You say you've always had the three testicles, sir?"

 

[REWahoo]

"One, two, three, four,... Nords, is that you?"

 

[easysurfer]

So what happens if the guy is ticklish around there? Does that make him more of a suspect?

 

[Westernskies]

When the TSA agent is waving me to a private room with a latex glove on one hand and a tube-a-lube in the other hand, I'll know that my air travel days are over

Especially since the tube-a-lube can't be over 3 ounces...

 

[Westernskies]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

"Well, well.....what do we have here, Mr. Johnson?"

 

[FIREd]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

Will this have a "happy ending" officer?

 

[MasterBlaster]

Will this have a "happy ending" officer?

Officer - Shouldn't we have a cocktail first ?

 

[Bestwifeever]

"Did we skip the shower this morning, sir?"

 

[HFWR]

"The tater goes in the front."

 

[Keim]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

San Francisco, CA-The San Francisco TSA office reports record hiring for the month of October, 2010. "I think it will be a very uplifting job," said TSA trainee officer Richard Grabbuh.
###

 

[easysurfer]

"They are even..good to go...you're golden."

 

[MichaelB]

What's that you were saying about TSA employees?

 

[travelover]

Hey! It really is junk!

 

[FIREd]

-Not much junk in that trunk, eh?
-You do have cold hands officer...

 

[M Paquette]

Hoo boy. I can't wait to see what the TSA rolls out to cover this one.

Al-Qaeda

 

[Nords]

Feel free to provide your own caption...

"One, two, three, four,... Nords, is that you?"

Heh, where the heck is Rich_in_Tampa for this one?

"OK, sir, turn your head to the left and cough"...

I can't believe this thread got so far without referring to "National Opt-Out Day". Let's just say I'm glad I'm not flying next week, or for that matter for several months:
TSA Opt-Out Day, Now with a Superfantastic New Twist! - Jeffrey Goldberg - National - The Atlantic

 

[MichaelB]

Hoo boy. I can't wait to see what the TSA rolls out to cover this one.

Al-Qaeda

Something like this

 

[HFWR]

Hoo boy. I can't wait to see what the TSA rolls out to cover this one.

Al-Qaeda

Gives the term "blow it out your ass..." a [-]hole[/-] whole new meaning!