Have not posted for a while. Made a decision to end my 22 year marriage. Could not take it anymore. Have been struggling with this decision for several years. Particularly this year. Kids are grown and launched. Struck with the knowledge that I was not going to live the next 25 years the way I have lived the last 25, which seem to be from crisis to crisis on my husbands part. Suffice it to say we were not and never will be financially compatible. In other areas we are not compatible as well. (i.e., vacations he will go only where there is a casino, refuses to dance even one slow dance with me, can't communicate without anger, etc., etc.). We have never shared one bank account, one financial goal and he is neither nor has he ever been financially invested in our marriage or any so called shared goals.
I suppose the details no longer matter. But his addictions to internet stock marketing gambling (loosing a half million) and his addictions to other things prevents him from being present in the marriage or our life. It was "ok", only sort of, while I was raising the kids but they are grown and have their own lives now. Many things happened this year for me to come to this final decision.
Many years ago back in 2007 when we were "separated", I asked for and got a signed post marital property settlement agreement, basically saying what is mine is mine and what is his is his. Therefore, nothing I have is at risk due to the future divorce.
Just hoping I have enough. No longer "formally working" but have a net worth of 3 million with over half of that in investable assets, (despite his shenanigans over the years and the fact I supported myself and daughter and this home for 21 of those 22 years), Board Fee income of $18,000/yr, K1 income over $100,000/yr. ,, SSN in three years if I choose to take it which I may, Investment income, etc., etc. No debt, paid off my home, Bills are to the core and can live well below the total of those buckets, still save perhaps until 62 and start spending some of it.
The only thing I did over a year ago that I am kicking myself for is paying off his mortgage on his office building in return for a monthly payment. (i.e., instead of paying the bank, he paid me). $100,000 remaining on the balance of that promissory note. No doubt, he will get it to me...but not sure when. I have already called the loan.
More to the point, while that is my net worth, his is almost non-existent. He is a gambler and it will ever stop. Sad too because he is a professional that had all the potential to be where I am but poor choices, poor judgement, gamblers mentally shot that in the foot. Hence huge differences in how we handle money, financial goals, etc. And I have had enough of all of it.
Want nothing but peace, quiet and a chance for a more enriched life from this point on.
I suppose the details no longer matter. But his addictions to internet stock marketing gambling (loosing a half million) and his addictions to other things prevents him from being present in the marriage or our life. It was "ok", only sort of, while I was raising the kids but they are grown and have their own lives now. Many things happened this year for me to come to this final decision.
Many years ago back in 2007 when we were "separated", I asked for and got a signed post marital property settlement agreement, basically saying what is mine is mine and what is his is his. Therefore, nothing I have is at risk due to the future divorce.
Just hoping I have enough. No longer "formally working" but have a net worth of 3 million with over half of that in investable assets, (despite his shenanigans over the years and the fact I supported myself and daughter and this home for 21 of those 22 years), Board Fee income of $18,000/yr, K1 income over $100,000/yr. ,, SSN in three years if I choose to take it which I may, Investment income, etc., etc. No debt, paid off my home, Bills are to the core and can live well below the total of those buckets, still save perhaps until 62 and start spending some of it.
The only thing I did over a year ago that I am kicking myself for is paying off his mortgage on his office building in return for a monthly payment. (i.e., instead of paying the bank, he paid me). $100,000 remaining on the balance of that promissory note. No doubt, he will get it to me...but not sure when. I have already called the loan.
More to the point, while that is my net worth, his is almost non-existent. He is a gambler and it will ever stop. Sad too because he is a professional that had all the potential to be where I am but poor choices, poor judgement, gamblers mentally shot that in the foot. Hence huge differences in how we handle money, financial goals, etc. And I have had enough of all of it.
Want nothing but peace, quiet and a chance for a more enriched life from this point on.
